Sigh.

A loveless week for me.

No time for lovey dovey.

Just wondering how Visser 27 is. How is she doing? What is she doing?

Hmm...

Bah. Probably executing some minor subordinate for something stupid. What any self respecting Visser would do.

Well, the Andalite bandits are at it again.

I was feeding, minding my own business and some little aristh nutcase attacks my leg in snake form! I almost lost Alloran! It would have been tragedy!

I had to swim my little Yeerk butt down the stream to safety!

Of course I have completely destroyed every last guard that was there of course. What is it with crap subordinates these days? What's a Visser got to do to snack safely?

Alloran begged the little wee Andalite to kill him, but of course he didn't. And we got there in time to rescue Alloran. Wheee!

I was of course, very relieved. So was Alloran.

Yes you were Alloran. Yes. Yes, yes, yes... Shh. Shut up now. The important person is talking.

So that's pretty much all on the Anda-front for now.

I keep meaning to set up my Andaporn trap, but I just don't have the time anymore really...

I have only had time for Sweeney.

Ah the absolute tragedy of my life. Solid Sweeney from here on in it seems. My pretty poem has still not freed me from her mad clutches.

Yesterday in Sweeney's Land of Anger Relief, we were supposed to make a dance to a song expressing our inner rage. So much fun! I used Yeerk music of course- Christina Aguilera's song "Dirty".

"What does that have to do with rage?" Visser One smirkily snapped as I finished my totally cool routine of waving my eyestalks like tentacles and shaking my rear in a rather attractive fashion.

(Shut up.) I answered, as usual, keeping my cool. She is such a sad, sad little person. I cannot allow her to make me angry. She's just not worth it...

"That was very, very...nice Visser Three." Sweeney said, looking rather confused. Sigh. Some people just don't get art.

Unlike me. I am a total artiste! I even said so to Visser One.

"Uh yeah, you're really, really autistic alright."

The other Vissers chortled. I felt my tail blade beginning to inch it's way towards her, but I forced myself to calm down.

"Vissers," Sweeney said, actually TOUCHING my shoulder by patting it. Ugh! "We have just seen an excellent control of anger! Visser Three, you are definitely near ready to leave this class! Everyone, kudos for Visser Three!"

Everyone clapped politely, grumbling while I smirked at Visser One smugly. Sweeney then actually turned to Visser One and said, "On the other hand, I have seen downright sadism out of you Visser One."

"Oooooh!" The other Vissers chorused, some laughing.

"You will not be leaving this class any time soon, unless we see some serious improvement."

I laughed my blue butt off while Visser One stared at Sweeney in disbelief. Visser One's dance sucked by the way. She just spent about a minute banging her head to some Madonna song. It was scary. But also very amusing. I almost died from lack of oxygen because I was laughing so hard.

No. Really. They had to have an emergency team actually come in and revive me. It was fun! Whee! Pure oxygen is fun!

I still feel kind of light headed. I did get to see Visser 27's dance. It was kind of weird really. Everyone was enthralled and stared and was quiet the whole time. She kept doing this weirdosa thing with her arms, waving them about and she stared wide eyed and possessed at the ceiling the whole time. I think Chapman may be right about artsy chicks... Besides that she used the song 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.' I didn't really see what that had to do with anger, but it was interesting all the same...

Heh. Heh. Kind of funny really. A possessed Hork-Bajir Beatles' fan. Heh.

I wrote her a note in class.

UNGA,

IM WEALLY SOWWY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED. I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU AND HAVE YOUR LITTLE YEERK BABIES THINGUMS IF BIOLOGICALLY POSSIBLE. IM REALLY SORRY THAT I SAID YOUR KISS WAS SLIMY BUT YOU DIDN'T LET ME FINISH. I MEANT TO SAY THAT IT WAS SLIMY IN A TASTY AND SEXY WAY. PEEZ DO NOT DUMP ME. I NEED YOUR BODY (NOT YOUR HOST) FOR MY LOVEY LOVEY STUFF. YOU MAKE ME KUIVER WITH ANTISSIPATION.

LOVE,

ESpLiN

And she wrote me back.

Esplin,

Sorry I overreacted the other day.

You spelled 'quiver' wrong. Oh, and 'anticipation'.

Oh crap, sorry for correcting you.

Love,

Unga

PS I liked your dance. It was like, really deep.

PPS And incredibly sexy. . !

She liked my dance! And she signed it 'Love, Unga'! And... she corrected me.

Ah well. She apologized for it. There was already too much turbulency in this relationshipy thingy without me griping at her for correcting me.

Even though it did make me twitch a little. Just a bit. Yeah.

But to reconcile and show her that I loved her still, I drew her a pretty picture of me and her together with a big heart between us over our heads a bit, to signify the love between us, and then some orchestra members falling from the sky in the backround and screaming in terror. And Lucy in the Sky with diamonds was Visser One, and her head was missing. I drew it on the other end of the picture.

Unga smiled looking rather pleased when she got my picture.

Ah love.

My door opened today while I was surfing the net and chatting to Unga.

Bah! Chapman!

(What do you want Chapsie?) I said, watching him warily. He's been rather odd lately. I'm kind of worried about him really. The whole Taxxon incident and all the crap I put him through every day. He must be breaking under it all really. He's so cute. So brave and pathetic. He keeps it all bottled inside and ends up all twitchy. He really needs to learn the value of venting on subordinates.

"Oh, nothing Visper. I saw a white swan and she was a teacozy of a beavering whelp."

(Chapsie, erm. Are you high right now?)

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said with wide eyes. Then he began to make sharp inhaling sort of wheezing noises. I became worried for his safety and well being. As well as my own. So I knocked him out with my tail blade.

(Guards!) I called in my standard Hork-Bajir hosted Yeerk goons.

(Chapsie appears to be malfunctioning. Mentally. Please kindly take him to the ship shrink and tell him that if my Chapsie isn't better in an hour, he will die a horrible shrink worthy death.)

They hurried away to obediently and lovingly do my bidding like good little subordinates.

Ah, it's nice to be a Visper.