We Say Summer/Moving On
Cadee:
The next day I wake up to Alex's mom, Isobel, peering in through the tent door. I'm still curled into Alex's side and he's dead asleep. I can't help but glance over to see his easy grin. For some reason I feel a little knot in my stomach. Before I can think about it, I hear Isobel calling my mom over. She hadn't noticed I was awake. So I close my eyes and pretend I'm still asleep.
"Cindy, come look at this. Alex and Cadee look so cute." Why was everyone saying stuff like that. We're not a couple or anything. We're just friends. Good friends.
"Oh, that's adorable. Do you think they're dating yet?" What is that supposed to mean? Yet? Do they expect us to get together?
When I'm sure they are gone I look back up at Alex's sleepy grin. Why would our parents want us to be together? I don't get it. I slowly pull away from Alex, careful not to wake him, and exit the tent.
I'm still in the shorts and tank I wore to bed when I join our moms who are seated at the picnic table playing cards. "Morning," I mumble, faking a yawn.
"Morning sweetie, are the boys awake?" my mom asks.
"No, I don't think so."
"We were thinking about taking a walk down to the point, do you want to join us?" Isobel asks.
"Sure," I get up to join them. We used to do this all the time while the boys slept in. You couldn't get them out of bed until at least 11:00, so us girls would go for a walk. We would talk about what was going on in my life, talk about the boys, and the stupid things they had done recently. But today I couldn't bring myself to share anything. We walk in silence to the point where we find a spot out on some rocks. When we are seated and looking out at the other end of the lake, the questions start.
"So, is there anything new going on?" my mom asks. I could tell she was digging for information. As I got older, I tended to share less and less, and it must have bothered my mom.
"Not really." I lie.
"Have the boys been behaving?" Isobel asks, attempting to help out my mom in her search for info.
"They've actually been pretty good lately." I say, meaning it. They haven't done anything crazy or stupid lately. Well, besides Alex trying to kiss me again.
"You know, we never did get the story about what happened at the party. Evan said he got that cut in a fight, is that true?" my mom chipped in.
"Um, yeah." I say remembering something else that had happened that night.
"What was the fight about?" Isobel asks.
"Well, it was just this guy that I had been dancing with." I say nonchalantly, hoping they will stop with their questions. No such luck.
"Why would he get in a fight with someone you were dancing with?"
I decided to give in and tell the whole story. It was a lot easier than them asking a million questions.
"Oh, honey, why didn't you tell me?" my mom asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
"Cause I didn't need to. It wasn't a big deal, the guys took care of it." I shrugged to show that she didn't need to worry.
"Well thank God for that," my mom sighed as we started to stand. The boys should be up soon so we decided to head back. It was nice to spend time with my mom, and Isobel.
When we make it back to the campsite the boys are already up and heading for the beach. "You coming with us?" Evan asks as I pass him on my way to the tent.
"Yeah. I'll meet you there." I need to change and don't want them to have to wait for me. I notice Alex watching me from his seat by the fire. I can't help but notice how good he looks with his sleepy face and messy hair. I shake my head, smiling to myself. What am I thinking? It must be everyone that has been talking about us. I've begun to think like them. To notice the little things I was too oblivious to see before.
Before I can close the zipper on the tent my mom slips through grabbing a seat on my sleeping bag. "I was hoping we could talk some more."
"I'm getting ready to head to the beach with the guys," I say.
"Oh, I know. But I had a question."
"Sure, what is it?"
"Well I've noticed that you and Alex are hanging out again. That's good. I don't know what happened between you two, but I'm glad to see you worked it out." She seems to be watching me, looking for some kind of sign so I just smile.
"Yeah me too."
"Well, Isobel and I have been watching you two, and we can't help but think that you like each other. Do you? Are you guys-"
I cut her off, not wanting to hear it out loud. "No mom. We're just friends. Always have been. Why would you think we like each other like that?" I seem to be asking this question a lot. Maybe I should know the answer by now.
"Like I said, we've been watching you two. And you seem to be watching each other. I don't think I've ever seen him take his eyes off you. I also noticed how you seem kind of protective of him. Not to mention Isobel and I saw how you two fell asleep last night. Don't get me wrong we've seen you sleep like that millions of times, but it just seemed more, I don't know, intimate this time."
Wow. I have to agree with her assessment of Alex watching me, I already knew that, but why did she think I was acting protective of him. He was the protective one, not me. "You got all of that from watching us?"
"So it's true. You guys do like each other." The look on my mothers face was a mix of hope and elation. I rolled my eyes at her expression.
"I didn't say that. Look, I'll tell you what is going on if you promise to stop asking questions." I say as I finish changing and take a seat across from my mom. She nodded immediately, eager to get the information she's been working for all morning. "And, you can't tell Isobel." Her face fell slightly but she nodded. So I continued. "You're not getting every detail, but I will say that Alex does like me, as more then friends, but I don't feel the same. He's my best friend and I love him, but not like that. That was part of the reason we stopped talking a while ago, but anyway. We are friends again, that's all that matters."
"I knew it. He is in love with you."
"Whoa. Who said anything about love." I know I hadn't.
"Sweetie, it's written all over his face. Are you sure you don't like him too?" she asks, smoothing out the blanket beside her.
"I'm sure." I say simply, getting up to head for the beach.
"Thank you for telling me, I know you didn't have to, so thank you." I smiled and gave her a hug before grabbing a towel and walking towards the trail that led to the lake.
About halfway down the trail I ran into Jesse. He was headed to the beach as well.
"I did get to see you again after all," he says as he falls into step beside me.
I smiled. I liked this guy. He was cute and funny, not to mention he seemed interested in me. Last night we had talked for a while about everything from music, to friends, to school. He was easy to talk to, and I felt comfortable around him. On our way to the beach we start talking again and soon we are both laughing. I glance over at Jesse through my bangs as soon as I catch my breath, and that's when I realize I like him. Not like I like my friends like Jack and Evan, and not how I like Alex. It's something different. I don't want to be friends with Jesse. Just then he turns to catch me staring, and stops on the trail. I stop beside him, looking up into his blue eyes as he leans down. Soon our lips meet as I move my hands to his bare chest. My hands burn with the touch and I lean into him. Jesse's puts one hand on the small of my back, pulling me closer, while his other hand moves to my neck to get tangled in my hair.
I can feel the warmth we are creating and step back in amazement. Looking up, I smile as I take his hand in mine and we walk the few feet to the sandy beach.
Alex:
As I'm leaving the campsite I notice Cadee's mom follow her into our tent. I can't help but wonder why. They used to be really close, but you know teenagers, they always pull away from the adults in their lives. I wonder what they are talking about on my way to the beach and can't help but think back to when I woke up a little while earlier. I had fallen asleep with Cadee in my arms. I woke up once to find her still there, but this morning she was gone. I soon found out that the girls had gone on their morning walk to the point. I always wondered why they didn't just sleep in like Evan and I.
When we get to the beach it's still pretty empty. We set our towels down by a wooden bench and make our way towards the water. We start horsing around, like we usually do and I start to forget about Cadee for a bit, until I look towards the shore at one point and see her at the tree line.
She's with that guy from yesterday, and they have stopped to look at each other. That's when it happened. They kiss. It doesn't seem like a normal first kiss. Her hands are on his chest and he's holding her tightly. I quickly look away feeling a prickling in my eyes. I dive into the water, not wanting Evan to see. When Cadee makes her way to us, Evan and I are on the dock facing the opposite shore.
"Miss me?" she asks as she sits down between us.
"How was your walk this morning? Did you three share any juicy secrets?" Evan asks.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" she teases.
I watch her lean back on her arms and tilt her head back, letting the sun warm her. I can tell by her small smile that she is really happy. I can't help but wish it were because of me, and not the guy she just kissed.
I realized then what I had to do. Not only did I have to act like the best friend that Cadee missed, I also had to let her be happy, even if it was with someone else. I had to let her be with that guy, I could tell that she really liked him.
The next week, after we came home from our camping trip, I had to get ready for the short tour me and the guys were going on. Our parents took turns taking us to different cities to play shows. This time we were going to New Jersey and then Pennsylvania for two weeks before coming back to Maryland to play a few shows.
It was Wednesday, the day before we were supposed to hit the road, and Cadee had come over to hang out. I could tell see had something on her mind, but didn't want to ask, afraid it had to do with Jesse, her new boyfriend.
"Hey Alex?" she asked.
"Yeah?"
"Would you be totally mad if I didn't go out with you guys this time. On tour I mean."
This totally threw me. I had no idea she was planning on staying home. She always came out with us. I didn't know what to say.
"You don't want to come with us?" I asked.
"No, I do, but I kind of wanted to stay and spend the end of the summer with Jesse." She was looking right into my eyes, probably trying to guess what I was thinking.
"Oh, right. I mean, you don't have to come with us, I just thought you wanted to. If you want to spend time with Jesse I understand." I looked away, not wanting her to read what was probably written all over my face. Disappointment. I had been looking forward to spending the last few weeks of summer with Cadee. But I understood, she wanted to spend time with her boyfriend, and I wasn't going to stop her.
"Really? Cause I'll come if you really want me to."
I guess she had seen my expression anyway, or she just knew me that well. "No, really. It's okay. Stay here." I turned and smiled, trying to reassure her.
Cadee:
It's been almost a week since Alex and the guys left. I've spent everyday with Jesse. Either at the pool, the arcade, the pier, he even got me to go bowling. I must admit I suck at bowling, but he insisted that it would be fun. I actually had a really good time. We bowled for an hour or so, talked endlessly, and ate pizza in the lounge attached to the bowling alley. I think it was one of the best dates I've been on.
I can't help but think about how Alex is doing. I know him and the guys must be having fun, they always do, but I can't help but wish I were with them. This is the first time I've missed an All Time Low show, not to mention a whole bunch of them. After the shows we usually go back to the hotel and stay up all night talking or swimming or playing games. I miss Alex.
Alex:
Were in Pennsylvania. We just got done playing and are standing outside of the theatre talking to some kids who had come to the show. I'm thinking about Cadee, just like always. I miss having her here with us. I can't help but think we may be drifting apart, I mean, we used to do everything together. This past spring and summer, we've spent more time apart than we have together.
Jack slaps a hand on my back pulling me into reality.
"Alex here, writes all of the lyrics," he's saying to a group of girls who had probably asked a question about our songs.
"Uh, yeah," I say, trying to focus on the group in front of me.
"I like your song Running From Lyons. What is it about?" a girl with reddish brown hair asks. She is kind of cute and I notice all of her attention is focused on me.
"A friend," I answer. The guys have been trying to distract me and tell me to let loose a little and have fun like we used to. Maybe this girl could help me do that. I zero in on her noticing that she is still watching me even though all the other girls have turned to Jack, who is telling some ridiculous story. I smile and step towards her. "So, are you from here?" I ask.
"Kind of. I live about twenty minutes away. How long are you guys here for?" I can't help but see the eagerness in her eyes; she's interested in me.
"Just until tomorrow. We're playing a few shows on our way back to Baltimore." I pause thinking through my new plan for tonight. "Did you want to hang out tonight? I mean, I understand if you need to leave soon, but I'd like someone to hang out with. Don't get me wrong I love these guys but they tend to disappear before we get to the hotel."
"I'd love to." A huge smile spreads across her face.
We ditch the crowd around the guys and I lead her back to the hotel the guys and I are staying at. When we get to my room we talk for a few hours. I find out that her name is Jasey; she's seventeen and likes photography. We're making out when Jack comes into the room through our connecting doors.
"Oh, sorry. I didn't know you had company." He says before shutting the door.
I just laugh as I turn back to Jasey. She starts pulling on the hem of my shirt, and before I can think about it, I'm unbuttoning her jeans.
The next morning I wake up next to Jasey, who is still half undressed. I get up to take a shower and when I come back out she's already up and dressed.
"I should get going. My friends are probably wondering where I am."
"Right, of course. I should probably pack, we should be leaving soon too."
"I had fun last night. We should hang out next time you guys come up here."
"Of course." I lied. We exchanged numbers, even though I had no intention of calling her. She was supposed to be a temporary distraction, but I hadn't stopped thinking about Cadee at all.
An hour later, we were in the van headed towards Maryland.
"So Alex, I saw that girl leaving the hotel this morning. Want to share what you did last?" Jack asks.
"What do you think happened?" I retort. He knows exactly what happened, he just wants to hear me say it.
"No way! Alex slept with some girl from the show? Are you finally over Cadee?" Zack chimes in.
I stay silent, giving all the answer they need. I'm not over Cadee, nowhere close, and I didn't want to admit to having a one-night stand with a fan.
A/N: Don't worry this chapter is just a bump in the road for Cadee and Alex, stay tuned for tons of drama next chapter!