Disclaimer: The only character I own is Jordan Aurora. All others belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

A/N: This chapter earns this stories M rating.

The explosion rocks the ground as Jordan ducks under a charred car. The smell of gunpowder, sulfur, blood and bullets fill the air. There is screaming somewhere and Jordan can't tell if it's one of hers or one of theirs.

"Aurora over here, take cover NOW!" a man yells. Jordan hit's the ground hard, bullets zipping past her head and shoulders.

"Fall out men, get back to the tanks, hurry." The smoke is so thick Jordan can barely tell were the tanks are. Turning she fires off a few rounds in the direction the rockets are flying from. Empting her clip she turns and runs in the direction she hopes is right, her army fatigues weighing heavily in the impossible heat of the desert.

More screaming, this time it sounds like a woman. Looking up Jordan can only watch as the blue sky is swallowed up by the thick black smoke. From behind she can hear the enemy yelling in their language, they sound calm, deadly calm. "This mush be hell" is the only thought Jordan can think as the sound of guns and screams fill the air around her.

Two more explosions rock the ground and throw Jordan forward. The air around her quickly becoming engulfed in bullets. There's blood, too much blood. It won't stop there's…

Jordan dashes up, almost falling completely off her bed. Struggling to orient herself with where she is she hears the noise. A loud banging coming from her door. Glancing at the alarm clock confirms what she thought to be true.

3:56 in the morning, who the hell?

Pealing off the sweat soaked sheets Jordan grabs her automatic from the bedside table and begins walking with shaky legs to the door.

"Who is it?" Jordan asks, her breathing calm, her tone firm. Nothing showing that she had just been awakened from a terrible nightmare that, nearly ten years ago had been all to real.

"Open the God damn door Jordan." Olivia's voice called from the other side. Jordan quickly undid the locks and swung the door open to admit the brown eyed detective waiting in the hall way. Olivia strode quickly inside and waited for Jordan to close the door before she unleashed the angry that had been slowly growing inside her all day long.

"What the fuck was that about, I tell you that we can't keep screwing each other so you go and transfer out. God you are a piece of work Aurora. You should have at least had the balls to tell me yourself, instead you just go off and leave. Not one fucking word just…gone."

Olivia blew out a frustrated breath threw her nostrils and stared at Jordan. She hadn't really looked at her when she had walked into the apartment. Her only focus had been on releasing the anger that had been building since Elliot told her that Jordan had transferred out. Looking at her now Olivia had to fight the urge to chase the distance between them and just hold Jordan in her arms.

Jordan's skin was a flush, almost white color. A thick layer of sweat coving her body. Her eyes were a deep, soulless black. Olivia had thought it bad when Jordan got that haunted look but this one, this was a look of someone who had seen hell, who had lived in it.

Just as Jordan was about to speak Olivia broke. She knew it was the look in Jordan's eyes that finally did it. It was a look that spoke of unspeakable pain and Olivia couldn't just let her stand there, explaining herself for something that now felt trivial.

"Jordan, I'm sorry. Are you all right, what happened?"

Jordan ran both hands threw her rumpled hair and tried her best to compose herself. The flashback had taken her by surprise. It had been months since the last one happened and she thought they were finally gone. Sighing heavily she realized they would most likely never go away completely.

Finally rising her eyes to the woman standing just inches from her she replied, her voice so low Olivia had to practically read her lips.

"Nothing it was just a stupid flashback." Jordan replied. She tried to smile reassuringly but it didn't even resemble a smirk.

"Jordan don't lie to me, what's wrong?" Olivia asked.

Jordan backed away from Olivia and walked quickly to the window. The sites of the city at night usually always had a calming affect on her, but tonight it felt like nothing could right the wrongs in her life. Anger quickly replaced pain, a mask Jordan had learned to form in the army.

Spinning around fast and facing Olivia in the dark apartment Jordan spat

"What the fuck is it to you what's wrong with me. We're not partners, we're not lovers. We are nothing, you made that perfectly clear the other day. Now you want to come to my apartment in the middle of the night to bitch about how I wanted to be reassigned. You shouldn't even fucking care!"

The words cut right to Olivia's core. She knew they were true, well most of them were. The part about not caring wasn't though. Olivia had spent the better part of the day asking herself why she was letting Jordan walk out of her life. She tried putting it a million different ways but it always came out the same. She was scared, she was running because she was falling in love with Jordan.

Quickly Olivia's temper resurfaced, and she screamed back at Jordan, trying not to let her see how much her words had hurt.

"Fine, fuck you then. I just wanted to see what it was about me that made you have to transfer, I guess now I know. If you can't get what you want you just leave."

"Oh that's right, I'm the one trying to walk away from all of this. You're the one that said she couldn't do it anymore. What was the real reason behind that decision, huh Olivia. Was it that you didn't want to get in trouble like you said or was it because you didn't want to face your own feelings?"

"Fuck you Jordan, you don't know the first thing about me."

"So enlighten me, why did you break it off after I was shot. It wasn't even bad but I guess you just didn't want to be with damaged goods. Is that it, huh!?" Jordan's voice was booming in Olivia's ears. Suddenly that day came back to her.

Olivia was standing just inside the doorway, watching as a madman had a gun trained on Jordan. Then he was turning his gun on her and Jordan was diving in front so the bullet would miss Olivia. Then Jordan was on the floor and there was so much blood.

"Huh, Olivia, answer ME!!" Jordan shouted.

"No, that's not why I broke it off. I did it because I'm falling in love with you, you stupid bitch!!" Olivia shouted. The words were out before she even had time to realize what she was saying. In one rare moment Olivia let her feelings take her completely over, leaving nothing to hid behind.

At the look of utter shock on Jordan's face Olivia quickly made for the door. She needed to leave. She couldn't stay here another minute after having said all that she had said.

"Sorry, I…I have to go." Olivia stammered out as she gripped the door handle. Jordan placed one strong hand on the door, holding it closed.

Olivia looked up into Jordan's eyes, they were a smoky color. One that hinted at a desire so deep, so passionate that words failed to describe it.

Jordan's lips crossed the small distance that separated their bodies, bring her breasts and hips crashing into Olivia's. The groan that escaped Olivia's mouth set Jordan's body on fire. With one hand holding Olivia's neck Jordan worked the other one to the bottom of her shirt, tugging it until she felt the material separate from her jeans.

Olivia threw her hands on Jordan's breasts, feeling them swell beneath the confines of her t-shirt. At Jordan's answering moan Olivia braced both hands on the soft cotton shirt and pulled it over Jordan's head in one swift motion. Greedy eyes took in the sight of Jordan's naked chest, bathed in the moonlight. Her breasts, small but firm, called out to Olivia. Begging to be touched, to be suckled.

Olivia broke away from Jordan's lips, returning them to her neck and working her way down until she can to the beautiful nipple.

Jordan felt Olivia's hot mouth enclose on her nipple and she groaned, her hands reaching up and undoing the clasp that held Olivia bra. She felt Olivia shove her up against the wall and used it to steady herself. Slipping her leg in between Olivia's, Jordan pressed hard against her center, felling how hot and hard she was. Olivia's legs trembled at the contact. Jordan took the opportunity to push Olivia back and quickly shed her shirt and bra.

Both women stood up against Jordan's wall, naked from the waist up. Their lips fused back together as their hands roamed over one another's body. Jordan's hands traveled to the zipper on Olivia's jeans. Just as she was about to pull down she felt Olivia's hands cover her own. Looking up she saw all the desire in her eyes. The soft, chocolate brown was now replaced with a smoky black look. Jordan could see the fire in them, she knew her own must be a mirror image.

"Bedroom…Now." Olivia managed threw her quick intakes of breath. It was all the instruction Jordan needed. Grabbing Olivia's arm, she quickly lead them threw her living room and down the hall to the last door on the right.

As soon as they crossed the doorway Jordan had her hands back at Olivia's zipper, only this time Olivia was mirroring her act. Their lips meeting again in a frenzied kiss they worked each other out of the rest of their clothes.

Crawling into bed Jordan climbed on top of Olivia, once again fitting her leg in between Olivia's. She could feel Olivia arousal coating her leg and it was all she could do to keep herself from burying her head down and into Olivia's folds.

"Oh God Jordan, touch me, please I'm so hot right now." Olivia begged. At her moaned plea Jordan lost what little self control she still had. Leaving Olivia's lips she began kissing a path down her neck to her chest, stopping quickly to suck on her nipples, then continuing down.

Gripping her hips, Jordan guided her mouth to Olivia's hot center. Slipping her tongue into the warm, wet folds Jordan brought her fingers up and massaged Olivia's hard clit.

"Oh God, it feels so good." Olivia panted. She could feel her orgasm building. She tried to hold it off a little while longer, enjoying the feeling of Jordan's mouth on her.

"Jordan, oh God Jordan I'm coming." Olivia screamed out as she lost control and her orgasm hit her hard. Jordan felt her bucking and thrashing under her relentless mouth but she didn't stop. Felling Olivia grow wet again Jordan quickly pulled her mouth away, bringing her lips to meet Olivia's as she slowly entered her fingers into the hot center.

Olivia moaned, tasting herself on Jordan as she filled her up inside. Rubbing her hands all over Jordan's body, Olivia slipped her hand between Jordan's legs, finding her hot and wet like she knew she would be. As Jordan kept up her passionate thrusts Olivia entered her, quickly matching Jordan's rhythm.

"Jordan…"

"Olivia…" They both cried each others names as she came hard, their lips meeting and swallowing the rest of their screams.

"That was amazing." Olivia said, snuggling closer to Jordan's warm body.

"Yeah." Jordan replied, "it was."

Finding comfort in one another's arms they sleep.

XxXxX

Olivia smiled to herself as she felt the warmth of Jordan's body next to her on the bed. Opening her eyes she saw the sunlight pouring in threw the windows and highlighting every beautiful curve and muscle that made up Jordan's features. She was so strong, so fierce, like a warrior. Olivia couldn't help but think back to the night before when Jordan had looked so wounded. The look in her eyes was one of unspeakable pain and Olivia suddenly wanted to know what had caused it.

Watching Jordan sleeping so peacefully Olivia couldn't deny how she felt any longer. She was in love with Jordan. Hell she had confessed to it last night. She had been running, she knew. Hiding behind rules to blame for her fears and insecurities. Now she had nothing to hide behind. Jordan was no longer her partner. Still, Olivia was nervous that all Jordan wanted was sex, and as great as the sex was with them Olivia wanted more. She knew she couldn't just be with Jordan every now and then. For the first time in so long Olivia felt herself wanting to have a real relationship with someone.

Jordan opened her eyes to an empty bed. Sitting up quickly she scanned the room for Olivia, fear already telling her that she had left. Grabbing one of her old shirts ESU shirts, Jordan made her way out of the room and down the hall. A quick walk threw the kitchen and living room confirmed what she had thought, Olivia was gone. Sinking down on her couch Jordan tried to think of what to do.

Olivia grabbed a towel off the small rack and dried off her hair. Dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a baggy NYPD t-shirt she tossed the wet towel in the hamper and walked out into the apartment.

"Hey I hope you don't mind, I borrowed a pair of your sweatpants and one of your t-shirts." Olivia said when she saw Jordan slumped on the couch in nothing but a navy blue t-shirt with the letters ESU written in white.

Jordan spun around at the sound of Olivia's voice, an impossibly huge grim on her face.

"I thought you left." Jordan said.

Olivia just smiled at her, looking so beautiful in nothing but a t-shirt.

"Nope, just a shower." Olivia replied. Jordan stood up from the couch and made her way over to Olivia, quickly taking her in her arms. Needing to feel her close. To make sure she was still really there.

"So…where does this leave us?" Jordan asked hesitantly.

Olivia was silent for a few minutes and Jordan began to worry that she had said the wrong thing, but she needed to know. This couldn't just be a passing affair. Not with Olivia. For once Jordan found herself in one of those all or nothing places. Somewhere she swore she would never be.

Finally breaking the silence Olivia spoke up.

"Well, were not partners anymore, and I don't think the brass has anything about two cops dating. So what do you say we go out for pizza tonight."

Jordan smiled as she pulled Olivia closer to her, bringing their foreheads together.

"I'd love to."

XxXxX

Fourteen hours later Olivia found herself sitting across from Jordan in a small East side pizzeria. Jordan, now dressed in dark denim jeans and a tight body hugging dark grey shirt, laughed affectionately as Olivia grabbed for the last slice of their Hawaiian pizza.

"Wow, who would have thought Olivia Benson could pack away so much pizza. I gotta ask though, were the hell does it all go?" Jordan asked. Olivia felt the hot redness flash on her cheeks as she listened to Jordan's comment.

"You know me and El have been trying to figure that out for almost ten years now."

"Wow you guys have been partners that long. I don't even think I've been in a division that long." Jordan replied, grabbing for the last breadstick and breaking it in half. Olivia smiled at Jordan as she placed one of the pieces on her plate.

"Your too sweet." Olivia said. Her eyes looking into Jordan's. She was so glad to see the beautiful blue sparkle was shining amiss the grey backdrop.

"So" Jordan replied seductively, "What would you like for dessert?"

Olivia just licked her lips and smiled, locking eyes with Jordan and conveying everything that needed said.

"Check please."