A/N: Okay guys, I love love love it when you guys review. You totes have no idea how I act, let's just say there's some serious singing and skipping. (The singing may be a side effect from watching Glee)

This is the beta'd version of my last chapter, I'll have chapter 11 up very soon, I'm sorry for the wait. RL is being a bitch.

Thanks to Broken Wing114 for betaing, without you I'd be writing at a 3rd grade level:)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

BPOV

I sat with Edward's feet in my lap sketching out the tattoo I thought of while Edward was piercing my lip.

He seemed a little surprised that I offered to let him pierce me, he looked even more surprised when I explained just how important something like that was to me.

I figured that if he was gonna let me pierce his dick, then I should open myself up and let him in a little bit. I could see myself getting more comfortable around him, making myself a little bit more vulnerable to him.

It scared me when I first realized that I was letting my guard down, but I figured that if we're gonna try to do this for real I had to let him in. I definitely can't keep pushing him away the way I have been.

I twisted my new lip ring around with my tongue and thought about what we could do this weekend. I really want to do something with the group, but I don't really want to have to tell Jake about Edward and I.

It's gonna be hard enough to tell him that this guy just might be the one for me, let alone telling him that Edward is my wannabe boyfriend.

I finished my sketched and glanced at the clock to see that it was already time for Jake to be coming in, Edward was scheduled to start in an hour.

I wiggled his leg until his eyes fluttered open and I saw his pupils adjust to the light in the room, he looked a little groggy from the medication.

"Time to wake up and put your pants on."

"I don't wanna put my jeans back on." He was slurring his words a little bit.

"I can go back to your apartment and get you some shorts if you'd like."

He nodded his head and pulled his feet from my lap. He rubbed his eyes and ran his hands through his hair a few times.

I got up from the couch and went to get his jeans from the piercing room, when I came back out he was staring out the window at the cars driving by.

I watched Jake park his car across the street and wait for a break in traffic to cross the road.

He walked in and looked from Edward to me and back again. He looked a little confused, and something flashed in his eyes that I couldn't quite make out. His eyes came back to me and then dropped to his feet.

"Hey B." His voice sounded defeated.

"Hey Jake, what's up?" I walked over to him and tried to get him to look into my eyes, instead he just continued to stare at his shoes.

"Nothing." He walked around me to the counter and flipped through some papers, he was definitely avoiding me for some reason.

I considered that maybe he was pissed because I didn't come in and see him last night, I usually spend my nights with Jake and last night I spent it with Edward.

I wanted to ask him if that was what was bothering him but didn't want Edward to get uncomfortable.

I walked over to the counter and rested my elbows on the glass, he avoided looking at me.

I finally decided that this whole thing was starting to get a little ridiculous, I grabbed his arm and dragged him to the back door. He didn't fight me off and I didn't give him any reasons, we both knew what was coming.

I flung the door open and pulled him out behind me, he shuffled his feet around and looking at the cracks in the building.

"Jake..." I was waiting for him to yell at me or something, to show some sort of anger towards me.

"What Bella?" I could tell he was mad because he didn't call me B like he usually does. His attitude was starting to bother me a little bit, I never get mad at him over this shit. I mean, we're both adults here, there's no reason for him to be pouting like a child.

"What's your problem?!" I was almost yelling now, I couldn't keep my temper under control.

"I...I..." He kept starting his sentence and then cutting himself off, which confused the shit out of me. I always thought that we could tell each other anything, that he had no problem telling me what he feels. Apparently he's having some issues now.

"What Jake? Just spit it out." His stuttering was getting on my nerves.

"Why are you being such a bitch?" The last word fell from his lips and I could tell that he regretted saying it, his eyes told me that he was sorry. Yet his mouth didn't move, no apology came out, and I started fuming.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" My hand clenched and unclenched without my permission.

"Who the fuck do I think I am?! Your best fucking friend Bella, or did you forget?" It took every ounce of strength in my body to stay where I was, I wanted nothing more than to attack him.

"Fuck. You." I barely got it out through my teeth, surely if I opened my mouth I would say something horrible.

"Fuck me, Bella? Whatever." He opened the door up and stormed inside.

I looked around for something or someone to take out my aggression, it felt like my world was spiraling out of control.

I never fight with him like this, we never argue or yell at each other. Our fights never get this serious, usually because he doesn't participate in them. If it wasn't for his usual calm demeanor we'd probably tear each other limb from limb, that's just how I work.

When I fight with someone my mind goes insane, I instantly want to lunge at them. All I ever wanna do is physically hurt them, or emotionally. I go right for the throat, if I can hurt someone in any way, I will.

I slid down the brick wall welcoming the feeling of the scratches the bricks left on my back, it was a nice distraction from all the emotions coursing through me right now. I wanted a cigarette more than anything right now, but my purse was inside, and I didn't wanna go in there just yet.

As much as I was angry at him I couldn't help but feel bad about yelling at him like that, my mind flip flopped back and forth between anger and guilt. I couldn't decide how I wanted to feel, how to react to what just happened between us.

I debated on whether I should just leave right now, I could take the alley out to the main road and just go home. I thought about how Edward would react to this whole thing, he'd probably realize just how crazy I really am and tell me he wanted nothing to do with me.

Still, I couldn't find it in me to just leave and not say anything to either of them. Just because Jake was being weird as fuck doesn't mean Edward should be punished.

I got off the ground and opened the door to the shop, I headed down the hall and looked around for Jake. I didn't see him anywhere, I looked around and found Edward sitting in the same spot on the couch, looking confused as fuck.

I gave him the biggest smile I could, I felt the tears building up inside me. I only had a few minutes before I had a serious break down, and I didn't want Edward to have to see me like that.

He gave me a worried look and jumped off the couch, he was over to me in 3 strides. He wrapped his arms around me and stroked my hair, I let him hold me like that for a while. I pulled away when I felt like I was about to break, I had to get out of there.

"Where's Jake?" I looked around again, half expecting to find him with smoke coming out of his ears.

"He went into the piercing room after he came back inside." His gaze drifted towards the piercing room.

I followed his gaze and saw that the door was abnormally closed, he was obviously pretty upset. I compared his behavior to something of a 13 year old child, he had stormed off and slammed his door, I almost asked Edward if he was stomping when he came in.

I looked into Edward's eyes and had a silent conversation with him, I hoped that he could understand even a small portion of what was going on with me right now.

I walked toward the piercing room and thought about whether I should knock or just walk in.

I inched the door open slowly and saw him sitting in the chair, he had his head in his hands.

I could instantly tell that he had been crying, I could just feel it in my stomach. Years of knowing him told me that he was hurting just as bad as I was.

I walked to him slowly, like he was a wild animal about to attack. I wrapped my fingers around his wrists and tried to pull his hands from his face, my attempt was useless, he wasn't going to look at me.

"I know you've been crying." I waited for some type of response.

Nothing.

"Jake...look at me." He finally lifted his head and looked at me, his eyes were red and swollen from the tears.

"I'm sorry, B." He held his arms open and leaned back in the chair.

I climbed into his lap and let him hold me, for a moment I felt 15 again, like he was having to comfort me after my parent's fights.

For some reason I couldn't cry, the tears just wouldn't come. The release I needed was stuck in my throat, I couldn't make the tears flow.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to let out all the bad feeling I was having. I just couldn't, I don't know what's wrong with me.

He rocked me like a baby, I could hear him taking deep breaths next to my ear, and more than anything I wanted to be able to cry with him. To cry with my best friend over the horrible fight we just had with each other, to cry over all the pent of feelings we've been keeping inside.

I thought about the last time I cried, when I thought that Edward was rejecting me. It wasn't the breakdown I needed though, it was small and trivial, it was me weeping over a man not wanting me.

I needed to let everything that I've been keeping in out but I just couldn't, not even to Jake, who I trust with everything. Something felt wrong about the way he acted to seeing me with Edward today, something wasn't right about him.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and focused on feeling his arms around me, it felt wrong. It felt all wrong, like he shouldn't be holding me this way.

I pulled away from his and climbed out of his lap, I looked back to see him staring at me like I was his entire world. The idea that I filled his world so completely scared the shit out of me, how would he take the news that I was "with" Edward?

I took a deep breath and gave him a small smile.

"I'm sorry, Jake. You know how I get with my temper." I hoped that he could understand and we could go back to normal.

"It's okay, I was out of line." I looked down at my shoes and shuffled my feet, the guilt was starting to take over.

"You're still my best friend." I chewed on my lip and waited for his response.

"You're still mine."

"I love you, Jake."

"I...I love you, Bella." His voice sounded raw from crying, I imagined that mine sounded the same.

I gave me one last smile and kissed his cheek before I headed back to where Edward was waiting for me.

I walked out of the room and locked eyes with Edward, he looked like everything I've ever wanted standing there. I laughed at the situation we were in, he was standing in front of me, in boxers. All because I insisted on piercing his dick.

He got his keys from the pocket of his jeans and handed them too me.

I kissed him with as much passion as I could muster and promised to bring him back shorts right away, I grabbed my purse and headed back to my apartment.

I went right to his apartment and dug in his drawers for some basketball shorts. I finally found a pair and thought about snooping through his shit, but I figured that would be pretty embarrassing if he ever found out.

I headed to my apartment and got a bottle of water before I left for the shop.

By the time I got back there Jake was tattooing some random guy and Edward was watching. He looked like a child learning how to do something new sitting next to Jake, it made me chuckle.

I held the shorts out and made sure he saw where I put them, I glanced at the tattoo Jake was doing and nodded my approval.

I told him about wanting to get the little girl from Monsters Inc done on my foot, he reminded me that he wanted to do his tattoo soon.

I agreed to do it tomorrow and he agreed to do my foot the day after tomorrow. I smile at the thought of getting her done so soon, I couldn't wait until I could look at my feet and see them covered in 2 very different little girls.

One so completely broken and fragile, the other happy and bubbly. They really were a great representation of who I really am, the two different sides of Bella.

A/N: I know it's short but the reviews came in quick and I just cut if off here. The next one will be long, I promise:)