Chapter 10

Losing Grip

"Good morning, Mikan!" the class greeted her as she entered the classroom.

It was fine Monday morning and everyone were on their usual seats. Except for some. She looked for her bestfriend and found her sitting on the teacher's table. She walked across the room and stood in front of her.

"Good morning, Hotaru!"

"So you've finally got the guts to tell me everything." She replied, not bothering to look at her.

"I'm sorry." She gently said. Hotaru looked up and their eyes met. She could feel her sincerity. But then.

"You know it's not what I want, Mikan." She shook her head and continued what she was doing.

She hopped and took a sit on the edge of the table. "There were just a lot of things that happened recently. Everything's out of control. I'm losing grip." She sighed, looking at nowhere.

"And those are?"

"School matters. Personal life." She carelessly said. "Family..." she whispered.

There was silence.

It was broken by Hotaru, who stood from the chair. "7pm tonight. My room." With that, she walked away.

She knew it will be a long talk for the two of them. She sighed.

"Good morning class!" a man greeted. "Oh. Good morning, Mikan! Mind to lend me my table?" he asked her, putting the books he was holding.

"Of course, sir." She jumped off from the table and landed smoothly. "Thanks for lending me your table. I'm going back to my sit now." She smiled at their young professor and walked to her sit.

"Okay class. Let's start our lesson for today." The professor started.

She sat beside the window and looked outside. She's not that interested to listen anyway. She smiled upon seeing Natsume sitting under a tree, reading a manga. She couldn't help thinking on how they've become close. She couldn't imagine befriending the person she loathed the most. Before. Yep! Not until she got to know him. She discovered that he's not that bad at all. Maybe he's just not really good in expressing his emotions, but she knew that he was trying to. He has his own kindness. As what he said, the Natsume Hyuuga way. She remembered how fun they were in the Amusement Park, that she was having doubt if it was really him.

She flushed in an instant when an image of Natsume's hand intertwined with hers appeared in her mind. That was when Natsume was dragging her to the rides. They've held hands for a long time. And that felt good. She smiled. How can a guy be sweet and sadistic at the same time?

She looked back at the lad only to find him smirking at her. She looked away. But he's still a jerk! She diverted her attention on the teacher's discussion. She sighed. What a boring lesson. Good for that jerk, he can ditch class.

And the boring class continued.

"Mom called." Hotaru looked at her in confusion. She was lying on her bestfriend's bed ready to spill out everything, as she promised earlier. Not verbally though.

"What's the problem with being called by your mother?" she asked clearly not getting the problem.

"She wants me to go to America."

"It's good to visit her once in a while." She said immediately.

"And live with her."

"Now that's—too much." Everything is clear now. She sat beside her and tried to comfort her.

"It's not that I don't want to be with my mother. Who wouldn't? But she's making it hard for me to live with her. You know that she's not acting like one. Moreover, she makes me do things that are against my will." She blubbered helplessly, her bestfriend patting her shoulder.

"So what are you going to do now?" she knew her story. They have been bestfriends since birth. And she knew that Mikan was having a hard time. She wanted to help her but Mikan, being Mikan, usually declines her help saying that she wants to do things by herself.

"I'm thinking about accepting the offer that Tsubasa's manager proposed. It's not that I can depend on her forever anyway. It would be better if I start earning on my own. I should start to rely on myself." She couldn't think of any other ways that she can do for now. She's still a minor.

"You just can't cut your ties with your mother!" she said in disbelief. "She's your mother. Your own blood."

"I'm not. But I should be ready. I know one of these days, she will do it on her own. Thinking that I can't live on my own, I will come back to her asking her help and say, Hey Mom! Guess what? I'm freakin' back and ready to follow whatever you want me to do. That's crap."

"Yeah. Totally." She brushed her hair. "But whatever it is, you know I'm here. Just a call away." She said full of concern.

"Oh I love you, Hotaru." She hugged her tightly. "But that's my last resort. I don't want to be a burden to anyone else."

"With your clumsiness, you're already a burden yourself. And an annoying one." She said breaking their hug.

She groaned. "I'm not clumsy. I don't trip!" she exclaimed hitting her with a pillow.

"You don't?" she, too, took a pillow and hit her.

"I don't!" a big pillow hit her head.

"Sure you are." Hotaru smirked in victory.

She took a pillow and threw at her in revenge. Bulls eye! Mikan hit her head. So hard. That it made a sound. Thud! "Oh no. Ahmm. Hotaru, I guess we should stop this game." She said nervously.

Hotaru wasn't able to move. But Mikan was so sure she's emitting murderous aura at the very moment. "You can't get away with this." She whispered. A vein popped on her head. "PILLOW FIGHT!" and she started throwing her pillows. They began hitting each other. Mikan's having a hard time dodging all the pillows aimed at her.

The fight ended when no more pillows to throw. Feathers were scattered everywhere. Pillow covers all around. The room is in mess.

In short, disaster!

They lied on the bed, panting heavily from the fight that has just ended. It really feels good to be with your friend. It takes all your worries away.

She then remembered something and smiled at the thought. "I take that back. Maybe I do trip." She said out of nowhere.

"So you're admittting it."

"Yeah. For some reasons." She laughed.

"What are you laughing at?" Hotaru looked at her when she noticed something unusual on her bestfriend. "Hey! You're not telling everything, are you? At times like these, you usually sulk and lock yourself in your room, getting depress. But then, here you are. You're even laughing." Simply stating the obvious.

"You think so?" she chuckled even more. She hated to admit but she was right. She hasn't really confessed everything. She skipped the part about Natsume though it was the main reason why they got into this situation. Why she avoided her that day, and why she owes her an explanation. But no way in hell she would confess that to her. She would end up being teased by her, and it's too embarrassing. And she thought it doesn't have anything to do with her anyway.

And why does that thought suddenly popped in my mind anyway?

She furrowed her brows and glared at her. "You're telling it."

"No, I'm not!" she rebuffed.

"Yes, you are!" she picked a pillow cover and stacked it with feathers.

"I'm not."

"You are!" she hit her with the pillow.

She, too, stacked a pillow cover with feathers and hit her. "No, I'm not!" she exclaimed.

"You're telling it!" she hit back. They began exchanging pillow hits. Again.

She laughed even more, dodging every pillow her opponent threw. "In about time. For the time being, PILLOW FIGHT!" she shouted and started her attack.

And the clash started again.

I feel like I'm starting to trip. And I'm losing my grip.

But for a different reason.

Him.

It's Avril's losing grip. I like the song so I thought of fitting it into a story.

Hope you like it! It's more on hotaru x mikan's friendship.

Review folks :D