A/N You guys are awesome readers! Thanks :)

I likely won't be back with another update until next weekend. I hope this tides you over until then.

Chapter 10

Spencer was lying in her bed, staring up at the ceiling, with her hands folded behind her head. She'd been in the same position for the last hour.

She was trying to still her thoughts so she could figure out exactly what had happened the day before. That was proving difficult because inevitably her mind would just focus on the parts where she and Ashley kissed over and over again.

She had enjoyed it more than she was willing to admit.

It was Spencer's phone going off—repeatedly—that had eventually caused the two girls to stop what neither of them had wanted to stop. Sean was trying to reach her to ask when she was going to be ready for that ride home. Ashley had clumsily offered to drive her, but Spencer said no.

She needed the break to clear her head and figure out what was going on. Ashley had tried to appear OK with that decision, but her disappointment was evident. There were few words exchanged between them while Spencer got her things together. The air had been filled with uncertainty, to put it mildly.

Initially, Spencer felt relieved when she walked out of the brunette's place. The discomfort that she felt once she stopped messing around with Ashley was too much to deal with. What was even harder to deal with was how much she hadn't wanted to leave.

Why was her body betraying her by enjoying kissing Ashley that much?

She didn't know the answer to that question, and she wasn't sure she wanted to.

When Sean arrived to pick her up, she hadn't said anything to him. She mumbled something about wanting to go home, and he had obliged her wishes. Spencer felt bad lying, but she couldn't make sense of what happened, so how could she explain things to Sean. He had asked her about hanging out that night, but Spencer told him she wanted to be alone.

The problem was, being alone meant reliving her afternoon.

She had made out with Ashley Davies.

Repeatedly.

And fuck if she hadn't enjoyed herself.

Even now, the following day, her body practically hummed when she thought about what kissing Ashley felt like.

A girl that had hurt her more than she had allowed anyone else to hurt her, was the same person that she seemed to be insanely attracted to.

It made no sense whatsoever.

What did all mean?

What would happen when they saw each other at school on Monday?

Nothing, Spencer reasoned. Even though Ashley had told her she wasn't using her for experimentation, that didn't stop the blonde from thinking the worst. Ashley's track record with her over the last few years was not good.

She couldn't believe she was spending so much time thinking about a girl. That wasn't Spencer's style at all. She just didn't allow herself to get carried away with feelings and emotions. Now that this was happening, the blonde didn't seem to have as much control over things as she liked to think she did.

Before Spencer's thoughts could get any more twisted in her head, her dad was knocking on her door. "Come in." She looked up from her bed, but didn't move.

"Hi, sweetheart," Arthur said, missing the eye roll his greeting got. He He knew he wasn't the dad that his daughter needed because he didn't seem capable of controlling the demons that plagued him. He was always hurting the ones he loved, but even that wasn't enough to get him stop drinking. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Spencer replied. Maybe in a different life and a different world she could have run to her father with her problems. Unfortunately that wasn't her reality. "Is something wrong?"

Arthur scratched his scruffy face. "Everything is fine." He hesitated a few seconds, not sure how the news he was bringing would be received. "I have to go out of town for a few days."

Her dad had once been a well-respected and accomplished social worker. He was the guy who people went to with the tough cases no one else could handle. Once his drinking got out of hand, that all changed and it wasn't long after that he was out of work.

His drinking made him unreliable, which was not surprising. Because of that Arthur moved from job to job and was forced to take work wherever he could find it.

Spencer had once been the poster child for a stable family life. That was no longer the case. Even with all of that stacked against him, she still loved her dad dearly. When he would go out drinking all night, she was the one who stayed up waiting for him. Spencer had tried on more than once occasion to get her dad sober. But too many broken promises forced her to give up.

She now accepted that he wasn't going to change. It still hurt though. It was hurting her more than she ever shared with anyone. The blonde carried a lot inside herself. It was easier, she decided, than letting someone in and having them disappoint her.

Just like so many people in her life had already done.

"Thanks for letting me know." She was actually kind of glad he wasn't going to be around. It would give her a chance to clear her head without the distraction of having her dad to take care of. "How long will you be gone?"

Arthur sighed. "I'm not sure, actually, but I should be back by the weekend. I'll call you if anything changes."

"OK, have a good trip."

"I left you some money on the kitchen table," Arthur told the blonde.

Spencer wasn't sure what was left to be said. It wasn't like this was the first time he was leaving her alone. "Thanks."

Arthur looked around. "I, uh, be safe, take care of yourself and I love-"

"Bye, dad," Spencer cut in. She could see the hurt in her dad's eyes when she had interrupted him and she tried her best not to feel bad about what she'd done.

"Bye, Spence," Arthur replied with another sigh. He left her room and closed the door behind him.

When Arthur was at the bottom of the stairs he thought about going back up to try and sort things out with Spencer. He didn't though. That would mean facing what he had turned into and he wasn't strong enough to do that. Instead, he told himself that if he got on the road quick enough he would have time once he checked into the motel he'd booked for a few drinks before he had to get to sleep.

That would help deal with the overwhelming guilt he was feeling, he told himself.

Spencer waited until she heard her dad leave the house before she got back to what she was thinking about earlier. She wasn't sure how long she could have Ashley on her brain before she went out of her mind.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang. Convinced it was her dad coming back because he had forgotten something, the blonde raced down the stairs, already annoyed.

But when she opened her front door, she was greeted with the site of a very uncertain looking Ashley. Spencer had not been expecting that.

"Uh, hi," she said.

Ashley was pleased that Spencer did not sound mad at her. She had actually been outside the blonde's house for the better part of an hour. But every time she worked up the nerve to get out the car, she had chickened out. It was only when she saw Arthur leave that Ashley had decided she couldn't act like an idiot forever.

Like Spencer, she had also spent the last number of hours going over what had happened in her bedroom the previous day. At first it hadn't seemed real. But the more the brunette had played things over in her head, the more reality had sunk in.

She was absolutely petrified.

All the questions she had run away from when she had stopped being friends with Spencer were now back. She had quashed those feelings down as far as they could go, but they never really went away. There was no way she could deny how amazing kissing Spencer was.

There was also no way she could deny that she had not come close to feeling anything like that when she kissed Aiden. Or any of the other boys she had kissed. Not that there had been that many, but there had been enough.

At the same time, it wasn't like she had hated kissing those boys, but they just hadn't set her body on fire like Spencer had. Not even close.

She wasn't ready to define exactly what that all meant. But she was ready to admit that she wanted to kiss Spencer again—as many times as the other girl would let her. She had to come over to see the blonde because she couldn't stand waiting until Monday.

Ashley had spent her Saturday night alone in her room. She had already planned that before she accepted the lame excuse Aiden had given her for not seeing her that night. What she hadn't planned was how much time she'd spend wishing Spencer was with her.

"Hey," Ashley replied while trying not to get distracted by how good Spencer looked right then. She wasn't dressed up in anything fancy, but that didn't stop her from being absolutely gorgeous. "I would have called, but I didn't have your number, and I know you don't like me coming here, but I didn't have any other way to reach you and the things is I really wanted-"

"Whoa, slow down," Spencer ordered, but her tone was light. She didn't think Ashley had taken one breath as she had rambled on. "I'm not mad."

"Oh, OK, good," Ashley smiled as well as breathed a sigh of relief.

"Did you want to come in?" Spencer asked, even though it seemed pretty obvious that that's exactly what the other girl wanted.

"Sure," Ashley followed the blonde inside, tingling just standing close to Spencer.

Once the front door was closed, Spencer wasn't sure what to do. She thought about inviting Ashley upstairs, but didn't want to be presumptuous. Then again, reading the brunette's body language meant Spencer was almost sure she hadn't come over to say something bad. She wasn't giving out vibes like that at all.

That being said, things felt weird, so Spencer settled on inviting Ashley into the den. She was thankful that she had spent some time earlier cleaning up so it wasn't a total disaster.

"You want anything to drink?" Spencer asked for no other reason that it sounded like the polite thing to offer.

Ashley gave the other girl a weak smile. "No, I'm OK, but thanks."

The two of them descended into silence, clearly they were both feeling awkward around each other.

"About yesterday," Ashley started, her voice sounding strained. "We kind of got distracted."

"That's one way to put it," Spencer joked. She was trying her best to fight the urge to make assumptions and jump down the other girl's throat. Her first instinct was to distrust other people's motives. But she had already done that day before and that had led to Ashley admitting a secret Spencer assumed she hadn't wanted to admit.

Ashley smiled nervously; this was a lot harder than she thought it would be. It was ironic that she has having such a difficult time talking to Spencer, when at one point, she'd been the one person she could talk so freely with. "Yeah." Everything she wanted to come out sounded forced in her head. "You know, we never actually worked on our assignment, and it is due tomorrow…"

"Oh," Spencer's heart sank. That's why Ashley had come by? To discuss their stupid assignment? But she didn't feel much like biting the brunette's head off. She was too disappointed. "Right, we should probably get that done."

Ashley noticed how crestfallen Spencer looked instantly. "No, no, no, you don't understand-"

"It's fine," Spencer replied brushing Ashley off. She had been a moron to think that Ashley had come over for any other reason than school work. "My dad's not here so we can get it done quickly." She stood up and looked away from the brunette.

"Spencer!" Ashley exclaimed, desperate to get the blonde's attention. "I'm so bad at this," she said more to herself than anyone else. She worked up the courage to get out what she had really wanted to tell Spencer. "I can't stop thinking about yesterday."

The blonde's stomach clenched at those words. With a lot of reluctance she made eye contact with Ashley again. She could see how panic-stricken she appeared.

The fact that Spencer seemed open to hearing her out calmed Ashley down a bit. She still felt on edge but she suspected that had to do with the way that the blonde was gazing at her. "I've never…" she was fidgeting with her fingers, still trying to figure out the right thing to say. "The assignment was the lame excuse I used to come over here because…"

"Because?" Spencer whispered when the brunette didn't finish her sentence. Her heart was thumping so hard in her chest.

"Because I wanted to see you again," Ashley admitted, her voice also quiet. "Because I can't stop thinking about kissing you again."

Spencer felt her body involuntarily shudder at what the other girl had told her. There was this energy present in the room that hadn't been there moments earlier. "You too?"

Ashley let go of the breath she had been holding. She was so glad that she hadn't screwed up things up. And she was even happier that what she was feeling didn't appear to be one sided. "What happens now?"

It was a loaded question, and both girls knew it.

But neither of them wanted to head down a path that would lead to revisiting old wounds. It was a path fraught with many dangers and potential landmines.

Spencer should have been feeling cautious. It was out of character for her to want something so much that she was willing to overlook things that should not be overlooked.

That didn't matter to her as she moved towards Ashley. It probably should have. She should have been using common sense. But what she was feeling was powerful enough to make her forget all about logic and what was probably best.

"This," Spencer husked out right before she pressed her lips to Ashley's.

They both moaned into each other's mouth. It wasn't long before Ashley found herself lying down on Spencer's sofa with the blonde above her.

A position she very much welcomed.