Disclaimer: All Fairy Tail Characters Belong To Hiro Mashima

TRIGGER WARNING: Although the sexual abuse depicted is not graphic it can still be triggering. If you have been abused consider that before reading. I chose to depict it from the perspective of an observer rather than the child involved to make it a little easier to digest but it is still upsetting.

Chapter 10: The Sins of The Fathers

Zeref's phone rang disturbing him from his thoughts. He stretched his arm to grab it from his night stand and look at the caller ID, it read Silver Fullbuster, Office.

"Hello?"

"Morning, Zeref. Listen something's come up and I need to reschedule your appointment to this afternoon. Can you come at 3:00? All my other patients are in hospital today so I'll just see them earlier. We can do your tests and head to the lawyer's office from here. Sound good?" Silver said using what Zeref liked to call his doctor voice.

"Sure. That works out well for me, I have to run some errands before the trip anyway."

"Great, see you then. Bye."

Zeref went to say goodbye but Silver had already hung up. He decided to go ahead and get up and check on Wendy. He had felt bad about denying her last night but he had really needed some time to himself. He hadn't even realized how much he needed to let his emotions out until he had started crying. Wendy's wails had tore at his heart and Natsu's panic attack had scared the shit out of him. Of all the reactions he had been expecting from his younger brother that one had never even occurred to him. Seeing Laxus with his arms around Natsu while he was vulnerable had brought back feelings that he thought he had buried long ago. He was going to have to apologize to his cousin.

He knew Laxus felt bad about what he had done, hell he knew he had been as much of a victim as Natsu, probably even more so but he just couldn't forgive him. It was one more thing he would have to work on with his therapist. He really wanted to get to a place where he could offer the forgiveness he knew Laxus needed. He hoped he could get to that point before he died. If yesterday's reaction was any indicator it was going to take awhile.

He went to Wendy's room and knocked on the door. When he got no answer he opened her door and saw the room was empty. 'Of course', he thought, 'She didn't want to be alone last night, she must have stayed with Natsu.' He closed the door and headed for the room next to hers.

Once again he knocked lightly but got no response. He opened this door as well and saw Wendy and Natsu asleep on the bed, Wendy holding on to her brother in her sleep. He smiled at how sweet they looked and took a picture with his phone. He realized that they hadn't really taken many pictures since their dad died.

'That needs to change' he thought. Even though he hated being in pictures he wanted them to have many happy memories of him after he was gone. Enough to last them a lifetime. This vacation should be a good start. He thought of walks on the beach and bonfires at night, of short hikes that he should be able to handle. He added a digital camera to the list of items he needed to buy while he was out.

He saw no reason to wake them so he left a note on the refrigerator telling them he went out to run errands and to go to a doctor's appointment. They would be on their own for the day. He also reminded Natsu to not leave his homework until the last minute and that it was his turn to make dinner.

He got into his car and went to the local mall to buy the items on his list. They were going to be staying at their grandfather's beach house for a week. Their parents used to take them there every year for a big family reunion but they had not returned since their mother's death five years ago. Their family was a lot smaller now. Uncle Yuri had died the year before Mavis, and his wife had taken their kids and moved back to Alvarez to be near her own family. Uncle Ivan had gone to prison, leaving Laxus to live with Gramps. The five of them were all that was left of their family now as their father had been an only child.

It took him a couple of hours but he got everything on his list, he even picked up some items for Natsu since he knew Mika had already bought Wendy everything she needed over the weekend. He bought the digital camera, splurging on a nice one. He bought several large memory cards and a tripod as well so that they could all take pictures together. He looked at his phone and saw that it was already 2 o'clock. He hurried to the food court to get something to eat before he headed to his appointment.

He managed to get to the hospital on time and now sat in Silver's office waiting for him to finish making his rounds. He played with his phone while he waited. He heard Silver talking to someone outside and waited for the door to open.

"Oh great, Zeref you're here!" Silver smiled at him. "Can you put your gown on so we can get going on the tests?"

Zeref did as he was asked and soon Silver was listening to his heart while a nurse was drawing vials of blood. They placed him in several different machines allowing Silver different views of his heart. Once he was satisfied he told him to get dressed again. "I'd been planning on doing a stress test today but I think we can skip it."

"How are you feeling after yesterday?, Silver asked seriously, "We didn't really get a chance to talk after everything happened."

"I'm ok. I had a bit of an emotional meltdown last night but I'm better now. It didn't go the way I expected."

"No kidding, but at least it's over and done with." Silver commiserated.

"Should I be concerned about Natsu's panic attack?" Zeref asked worriedly.

"He had a shock and his body had a big stress reaction. I wouldn't worry about it too much unless it becomes a regular occurrence for him. " Silver said trying to reassure Zeref. He didn't want him to be even more stressed than he already was.

"Let's go to the lawyer and get the papers signed. Mika will meet us there." Silver said.

They left his office and climbed into Zeref's car. Silver thought about how he should bring up the topic that he was interested in but ultimately decided to be direct.

"I have something I need to ask you about Natsu." Silver said watching Zeref carefully.

"What do you want to know?" Zeref asked as he paid attention to the road..

"When we were talking about what would happen after you passed, Natsu wondered if the reason they wouldn't be living with your grandfather was because of something that happened with your cousin Laxus? He claimed he didn't remember what happened but you might."

"I don't want to talk about that." Zeref answered immediately.

"I need to know." Silver said not wanting to back down.

"Why? What good could it possibly do?" there was a trace of anger in his voice that made Silver realize that whatever this was, it was serious.

"I'm going to be his legal guardian, Zeref, if there is something going on with Laxus I need to know so I can protect him. The fact that you're hesitant to discuss it is already telling me a lot." Silver looked at him with concern, "Zeref, he's broken, If I'm going to help him I need to know all the things that could be affecting him."

Zeref remained silent but thought about Silver's words. They had arrived at the lawyer's office and parked the car. They got out and entered the building. Mika was already inside. They signed the papers that would make Silver and Mika, Wendy and Natsu's legal guardians in the event of Zeref's death or incapacitation. As they got ready to head home. Silver asked Zeref to come back to their house so they could continue talking. Zeref agreed, although he wasn't sure if it was a good idea. The conversation was headed in a direction that made him decidedly uncomfortable. It was a nice day so they chose to sit on the deck while Mika busied herself inside. Silver quickly brought up the dreaded topic again.

"Alright, let me ask you this. Your dad once told me that Natsu would not go to therapy because of something that had happened. Is that related to this?"

"You never had anything come up this morning, did you?" Zeref looked at him accusingly as he finally realized that Silver had planned this from the beginning.

"No, I didn't. I rescheduled my entire day so that I had enough time to talk to you about this." Silver admitted easily, "Don't be mad, I'm only trying to help. We can sit here and play 20 questions until I guess but I'd rather you just told me. You know you can trust me."

Zeref sat there thinking about what he wanted to say but Silver mistook his silence for animosity.

"Zeref, I made him a promise yesterday. I take those very seriously. Let me help him."

"What did you promise him?" Zeref asked surprised that Silver had gotten Natsu to talk to him.

"I promised him I'd never abandon him. That I would always be there when he needed me."

Zeref thought about his brother and how this whole mess had affected him over the years and made his decision. It was about time Natsu had someone fighting for him and he knew Silver was strong and determined, "Fine. I'll tell you, but you have to promise me that you won't force him to do anything he's not ready for. Dad already screwed him up enough."

Silver's eyes opened wide at that statement, that might very well be the first time he had heard Zeref say anything against his father.

"I'm a healer Zeref, I would never do anything to hurt anyone under my care."

"He's not your patient Silver, and like me, you might not be able to save him."

"It never stopped me from trying, did it? I never gave up on you, I still haven't." Silver retorted, stung by the reminder that he not been able to save Zeref no matter how hard he'd tried.

"I didn't mean it like…" Zeref grunted in frustration, "Dammit!, this topic puts me on edge."

He took a deep breath. This was his last chance to back out, once he started telling this story there would be no going had just signed to be become Natsu's legal guardian and when Silver took on something he did it with fervor. Zeref was an example of that, Silver was still fighting for Zeref's life where most doctors would have given up by now. He would treat Natsu and Wendy as his own children and protect them as such.

Zeref thought he finally understood why his mom had wanted her children to come here. It had never been about there being no one else, or about keeping the kids together, Mavis trusted Silver and Mika to do what she could not. Understanding that, there really was no other decision to be made. He began to tell what was both his darkest secret and biggest regret and hoped that this man could somehow find a way to fix the child they had all broken.

"You have to understand that for as much as I know, the only ones who know what really happened are Natsu and Laxus and thanks to my dad's mishandling of the situation Natsu has repressed the whole event and Laxus will not talk about it."

Silver remained quiet not wanting to interrupt Zeref now that he was opening up.

"Laxus sexually abused Natsu." Zeref paused for a moment letting Silver absorb that information before he continued.

"Are you fucking serious?" Silver growled. He wanted to believe that it was some sort of misunderstanding, that nothing that terrible could have happened to the sweet, cheerful boy that he remembered but suddenly it explained an awful lot about the changes he had seen over the years.

Zeref sighed, "I wish I wasn't. This happened about 8 years ago. You have to understand that Mom was having one of her fits and Dad was freaking out. We had been to the emergency room and Uncle Ivan had been nice enough to offer to watch Natsu and Wendy for them, while I was considered old enough to go to the hospital with them. I was used to hospitals and I honestly never cared for Ivan. When Ivan dropped them off I could tell right away that there was something wrong with Natsu. He looked like he was about ready to cry and he was desperately trying to get to Mom but Dad wouldn't let him. He was worried that Natsu would upset her so he sent him away."

"I heard him crying in his room so I went to check on him. He looked at me, waiting for me to mock him for crying but he looked off and then he just hugged me and started sobbing. I didn't know what to do so I held him. When he calmed down enough I asked him what was wrong and he looked scared. I finally got him to tell me that Laxus had made him play a game he didn't like and it had hurt."

"I became angry with him and told him that he didn't have to do everything Laxus said and that next time he wanted him to play that game to tell him no, maybe even suggest another game. If that didn't work I told him he should stand up for himself."

"He told me that he was scared of Laxus and do you know what I said?" Zeref laughed bitterly, "I told my 8 year old brother that Laxus was his cousin and that deep down he loved Natsu and would never hurt him. Even after he told me that Laxus already had."

"He started to cry again and I told him to get ready for bed. He stripped down to his underwear and I cuddled with him until he fell asleep. The more I thought about it the more I realized Natsu never told me what the game was. I looked him over and that's when I noticed the bruises. He had them on his wrists and his hips. I must have comforted him enough because he never told Mom and I had already decided to take matters into my own hands. I decided to talk to Laxus myself at school the next day. We were both in middle school then. I waited until lunch and I cornered him. He told me it was nothing and that Natsu was just being a baby but I could tell he was angry that Natsu had told. He had anger issues back then and I probably made the situation worse."

"Sometimes I wonder how much of what happened next was my fault." Zeref said with regret, "About a month later you had scheduled both Mom and I to have a lot of tests done and they once again needed someone to watch Natsu and Wendy and Ivan offered. My dad accepted and we dropped them off on the way to your office. I will never forget Natsu's face before he went inside. He was trying to be brave but I could tell he was terrified. He grabbed Wendy's hand and they walked in together."

"We returned hours later, we had already dropped Mom off at home because she wanted to get dinner started. Dad asked me to go inside and get the kids so that we could leave quickly. I knocked on the door but no one answered. It wasn't locked so I made my way inside. I called out to my uncle and he answered from his basement office. He said Wendy was still taking her nap and Natsu and Laxus were playing upstairs. He offered to take Wendy out to the car and I thanked him."

Zeref looked over at Silver to see his reaction and he wished he hadn't. Silver looked like he was going to be sick at any moment although he made no move to interrupt him.

"I started to get a bad feeling when I heard the loud music coming out of Laxus room. I knew that Natsu hated loud noises, he had very sensitive ears. I ran up the stairs and I began to hear screams and whimpers. Laxus was screaming at Natsu and calling him his little bitch and I heard a noise that sounded like a slap." Tears were coursing down Zeref's face as he told the story but it didn't seem like he was aware of it.

"I opened the door and saw Laxus trying to…. trying to…...and Natsu was bruised and bleeding like he had been beaten up and I lost it. I pulled Laxus off of him and I started hitting and screaming at him. Natsu was still whimpering and crying and once I had made sure Laxus was not getting back up I put Natsu's tattered clothes back on him. I remember saying I'm sorry over and over. I don't even know if he heard me. I picked him up and carried him outside."

"When Dad got a look at him he threw his cell phone at me and told me to call Uncle Yuri before storming into the house. He told me to tell Yuri if he did not want his brother to die by his hand he better get his ass over there immediately. I got into the car with Natsu and did as he asked. Natsu was still sobbing in my arms and at this point Wendy had woken up and when she saw Natsu bloody and crying she started doing it too and I didn't know what to do. I knew I couldn't call Mom because my father would be furious. So I held him and tried to comfort him as best I could. I talked to them, I think I tried telling them a story to distract them but I can't imagine it did any good. My mind was too horrified by what I had seen and what I had done to be able to make much sense but hearing my voice seemed to calm him down."

"There was a lot of yelling coming from the house and Uncle Yuri got there and asked me what happened. After I told him he called 911 and went inside and police cars and ambulances arrived soon after. Ivan was taken away by the police and Laxus and Natsu went in the ambulances. Yuri took Wendy home and stayed with Mom. To this day, I don't know what he told her to explain Natsu's injuries."

"Laxus mother had died some years earlier and apparently there had been some worry in the family that Ivan might have been physically abusing Laxus but no one had realized what he was really doing. Laxus was just acting out what was happening to him. That's the worst part, he was a victim too. I won't bother you with the long boring court drama, suffice it to say that Ivan went to jail and now Laxus lives with Gramps."

"Social Services and the police were already waiting for us at the hospital when the ambulance arrived and Natsu had to undergo all sorts of humiliating tests, he was interviewed and photographed as the state collected evidence. He held on to my hand through the whole thing and would scream if anyone tried to separate us. In the end both he and Laxus were forced to attend state mandated counseling. Natsu seemed a bit better after a while. He became more attached to me and distanced himself from my dad. I don't blame him, after the trial was over Dad acted like none of it had happened. You should know there is an injunction in place until Natsu turns 18. Laxus and Natsu are not to be left alone together."

"I don't understand, I thought you said that Natsu had repressed the whole thing." Silver looked at him confused but Zeref could see the anger glinting in the man's eyes.

"I'm not done yet. This is the part that my father bungled horribly." Zeref tried to contain his anger. It was past and nothing could be done to fix it. It would also be the hardest one to explain to Silver. "A couple of years later Natsu was here hanging out with Gray. They were sitting out in the deck chairs. When Dad came to pick him up he caught them kissing. I only know that because Natsu told me before he was whisked off to some camp. We didn't see him for about a month and when he returned he appeared to have no recollection of what happened. The topic was never brought up again in our house."

"I discussed this with my father years later because I couldn't understand why he had reacted the way he had. He told me that when he saw the two of them kissing he thought that Natsu was trying to abuse Gray and he panicked. When Natsu came back so different he immediately regretted what he had done but he didn't know how to fix it so he left it alone. He left Natsu alone, every single goddamned time." Zeref's fury was back. The last time he had discussed all of this had been in his own therapy several years ago. When it had happened he had put all of his energy into being there for his brother, he hadn't given much thought to how the events had impacted him or how much anger he had pent up against his father. He focused on some of the exercises he had learned to calm himself back down.

"Gray and Natsu were kissing?" Silver asked with surprise. He didn't exactly see that one coming.

"That's what Natsu told me then."

"Why didn't I know about any of this?" Silver said, angered by the thought that something involving his son had happened at his house and he had been none the wiser.

Zeref shrugged. "I don't know. Igneel thought he had taken care of the problem and I imagine Gray didn't want you to know what happened, not to mention Igneel could be terrifying when he was on the warpath."

"What camp did he send him to?" Silver asked.

"I have no idea, Dad said it was supposed to be some kind of intense therapy, he got the details from a friend. My therapist thinks Natsu was sent to some kind of conversion camp."

"I don't…..ugh… " Silver yelled, "GRAY, get up here now!"

Gray came outside not knowing what to expect. His dad seemed pissed at him but he didn't think he'd done anything to warrant it.

"Hey Dad, uhm what is it?" he asked nervously. He was even more confused when he saw Zeref.

"Oh, hey man." Gray said a little uncomfortably. What on Earth could he have done that Zeref would be here?

"I'm not mad at you, ok?" Silver said as he saw the tension in his son and tried to calm himself down, "I just need to ask you something."

"Ok?" Gray replied, still wondering what this was all about.

"Did you kiss Natsu?" Silver asked.

"What? No!" Gray sputtered, "Did he say I did?"

"Six years ago, you didn't kiss Natsu on this deck?" Zeref asked.

"Oh that!" Gray chuckled nervously, "Yeah, that was a long time ago."

"Did he force you to kiss him?" Silver asked.

"No, it was my idea." Gray admitted, a little embarrassed.

"Why?"

"It's stupid. I was 11 and all the kids in our class were starting to and you and Mom were always going on about how a first kiss should be special and should be shared with someone you loved." Gray shrugged, "Natsu was my best friend and I loved him so I chose him."

Silver had to admit that sounded very much like 11 year old logic. What could he say to that? It was kind of sweet in a way.

"What happened after you kissed him?" Silver asked, keeping his voice even to avoid spooking his son.

"We kissed a few times." Gray admitted, "Igneel came to pick him up and saw us. He was furious. He grabbed Natsu's arm and yanked him out of the chair as he screamed at him. When Natsu started to cry Igneel dragged him away."

"Why didn't you tell us anything about this?" Silver asked as calmly as he could.

"Well, the way Igneel reacted I thought we had done something wrong. I was terrified for like a week." Gray said, "I lived in dread of the phone. I thought Igneel was going to call you, but he never did. I didn't see Natsu for the rest of the summer and when I saw him back in school he never brought it up so I didn't either."

"Why are you asking me this now?" Gray asked puzzled. He hadn't thought about that in years.

"Zeref just mentioned that Igneel had told him about it and I was just surprised that I didn't know." Silver answered, "We need to have a conversation later, but you can go now."

"Yes, sir." Gray said and went back inside relieved that the interrogation was over.

"No wonder Natsu lost it after Mavis died, Igneel was a freaking moron when it came to him. That's it! I need a drink." Silver said, "I'm in way over my head here.I didn't realize his issues ran so deep. Jesus! I don't know much about psychology other than the courses I took in college."

He went inside and got two beers. He opened them and brought them back outside with him.

"Happy Birthday, you just turned 21." Silver said as he handed Zeref a beer.

Zeref looked surprised but accepted the drink.

"If I catch you doing this without me I will skin you alive." Silver growled.

"Yes, sir." Zeref gulped. He took a sip of his beer and made a face at the bitterness, all in all slightly disappointing but he would drink the whole thing anyway. Just in case he never had the chance to drink another one.

"I don't even know where to start." Silver said, "I guess first off, I can see you blame yourself for what happened but none of it was your fault, Zeref. You were 12 years old, you weren't supposed to know what to do in that situation and when the time came you protected him as best you could. All the adults involved in this failed miserably. I wish you would have come to me. I'm so mad at your father right now! I don't care how ill you guys were how the hell could he have screwed up so badly?"

"I wish I could believe you. The fact is, I was the only one who knew something had happened and I still let him go in that house." Zeref said with remorse, "I failed him the worst of all."

Silver did not agree with that but decided not to argue the point. "I don't think you guys should go on that vacation. Natsu had a panic attack yesterday, he's vulnerable and I'm worried that being around Laxus while in that state might trigger something."

"I thought you said the panic attack was nothing to worry about." Zeref said.

"In and of itself it isn't but that's before I knew all this." Silver said, "I'm going to need to make some phone calls. Ask around discreetly, I know a few psychologists at the hospital, maybe they can talk to him or direct me to someone who is good with teenagers."

"He won't go to them, I've tried." Zeref reminded him, "The last time I forced him to go to one he sat there for multiple sessions without saying a word the entire time."

"Well, maybe they can just help me talk to him." Silver said with frustration, "We've got to do something."

"I think we should go on the vacation, they need something to take their minds off of yesterday and the beach should be good for that. I'll keep him away from Laxus. Hell, I'll even ask Laxus to stay away from him." Zeref said not wanting to give up on the vacation memories he had envisioned for them that morning.

"I don't think that's what your grandfather has in mind." Silver pointed out.

"Look, when Gramps first suggested it I thought it was a mistake but now I think he's on to something." Zeref said.

"I hope you're right, for all your sakes." Silver said with unease.

"How much do you think Mavis knew?" Silver asked and took a swig from his beer.

"When it happened, I thought she didn't know anything." Zeref said, "Now that I'm older I find that hard to believe. She was too smart for that, I think she never brought it up to appease my father but the more I think about the way she was with Natsu the more I'm convinced she knew everything. She was the only one who could get through to him, I think that's why he was so lost after she died. From what I remember the only people he would even allow near him at the time were Wendy and Gray."

"Those two have always been close." Silver said. He felt guilty when he thought that just last week he had been wanting to separate them for good. What a colossal mistake that would have been! He marveled at the fact that in his childhood innocence Gray had chosen Natsu as his first kiss. He thought with a smile that Mavis would have gotten a kick out of that.

He wished she was still around. She'd been such a good friend to all of them. There were still days when he missed talking to her. They'd had such amazing conversations.

"When he was little, Mom used to tell Natsu that Gray would take naps on her pregnant belly when he was an infant. She liked to say that they were connected even then."

"That's actually true you know." Silver remembered fondly, "Mika has a picture of that somewhere, she always thought it was adorable."

They finished their beers in silence, each lost in their own thoughts and regrets.

A/N I promise this is the worst that happened to Natsu. I know it will upset some of you , as it should. Just remember that we are going to now work on getting him better, back to the Natsu we all love. He has to get to a point where he wants help and he is not there yet. This will not be the last mention of these events.

I'd be happy to know what you think. This was not an easy chapter to write.