-It's Lucy in A Nutshell!-
Chapter 10 – Lucy + Solo Mission Nutshell!
A/N I think this may be the last cliche! I'm actually surprised to find out that there's actually ten of them out there that are way overused O_O. However, if there are still more, please give me some ideas I haven't used! On the other hand, if this is indeed the last one, I'll post a mini "behind the scenes" chapter ;) Maybe I should create a spin-off for this story XD Btw I thank InLoveWithFairyTail for this idea :D
Disclaimer – I don't own Fairy Tail or Frosty The Snowman-oooh something shiny on the ground
Director PO-ooohhh camera man.
"Sigh, this is indeed the near end. Why I still end up doing this, I don't know." The camera man sighed dramatically.
"SHUT UP! You're going down with me to hell for the spin-off," I glared at him. "NOW GET TO WORK!" I towered over the scene, rage emitting off of me.
"Take: 1,004,345,213. Wait, what do we have to take?" The assistant of the camera man shrugged and walked away.
"So I was like OMG I reelized I lahv Natsu! But then lyke he totully ignores meh. So idk what to do with mai lyfe anymore. Right, Frosty The Snowman?" Lucy talked while walking with Plue, aka Frosty The Snowman because there is no way in hell a dog could have a carrot for a nose unless it was a deformed baby.
"Puuuuuuuun! Puuuuuu-*COUGH COUGH HACK COUGHHH!*" Plue started to have a very violent coughing fit and started shaking, and eventually dying. Oh well, you can just build another snowman in winter.
"NUUU FWOSTY DA SNOWMAN!" Lucy sobbed. "PSYCHE! PSH, I can just talk to maiself n no one would think I'm kraaazyyy!" Lucy kicked Plue into the river, and continued on to her house, talking to herself.
-Time Skip To Le Next Day O3O-
"So I wuz like OHEMGEEEE and like OHHMAIIIGOODNESS and like OHMYGOOOOSHHHHHH. And then like Tommy went KABOOM and like then he married meh and I wuz like YAHOO and stuffy and stuffy. Ya get me? Lol kay because then I was like SMOOCHEH with Bobby 1 and then like SMOOOOOCHEH with Bobby 2 and like ya. By the way, how's the weather? Isn't it such a nice day outside?" BobTheFemale gossiped to BobTheFemale2.
"Ya ya. But I wuz like SKREEEEE n OH MAI GOODNESS GURACIOUS GURLLL and like KYAAAA n then like OHMJEEEEE so like yea. The weather's beautiful, isn't it? I agree. But like, I heard dat Lucey was like, UWAHHHHH and like OHMYGOODNESSMAVIS-THE-HOLY-GOD-IM-SO-WEAAKAKKKKK! Ya get meh? Coz like I heard her SKREEEEEEEEEEAMMMMM n like yea." BobTheFemale2 gossiped back.
Lucy just heard this two gossips and TRIED to ignore it the best she could. However, fate is always giving us the finger-whoa whoa whoa, not THE middle finger, no, I mean the Fickle Finger of Fate dude. God, what you're thinking other things too? Tsk tsk.
So like anyway, fate was giving her the finger now and so she decided to just throw bricks at them.
"So like, Lucey, I wuz like thinking, that like, since we determined- oh wow what a big word...so lyke anyway, we determined that ur the weakest so u should just get off the team. But then lyke u'll still forgive meh for no reason right right? Good cuz like Lisanna wants ta like join n we dun even know who's stronger so like yea." Natsu nodded smartly and walked away.
"A WHAAAAAA DID U JUST SAY, BEE-OTCH?! OH NO U DI-IDN'T! U DONT KNOW $#%& ! U PROBABLY JUST WANT TO #*#2&$!( #&1! ! #$&#%& AND #$%* #! #$^! &$#^ THEN LIKE ! (#%* lolcolorlanguageftw! #*%!&#! #! # %% #! Whew, kay dudes I'm done." Lucy took a deep breath.
"Wow...new record! 0:0:0:0:0:1 seconds for saying that!" Natsu clicked a button on the timer. "Anywayz, in order ta PROVE ta us that ur like the BAWZ and is BOSS enough to join the team, do a lyke solo mission. I'll give u lyke $987,654,321 dollars converted to Jewels coz dollars rn't BOSS enough so u have to have gewels."
"FINE DEN!" Lucy ripped off a random piece of paper and slammed it on the counter. "I'd 'ppreciate it if ya let meh go to DIS mission SOLO!" She demanded to Mira.
"Okay! *smile smile* U can do whateva u want! *smile smile*" Mira stamped it or whatever she does, and flashed Lucy one of her infinite shiny smiles.
"GAHHH! THE LIGHT! IT'S BLINDING MEH!" Lucy covered her eyes and walked out of the guild, not even bothering to read the mission. However, when she got on the train to who knows where, she decided to read it.
LE MISSION PAPER. VERY IMPORTANTE.
Mission Thingy Ma Jiggy: Kill Like 40 Big, Dangerous,Vicious, Man-eating, Poisonous, Toxic, Biohazardous, Magical, Evil, Twisted, Humongous, Spiky, Sharp, Flying Monsters. They lyke attack my town n stuff n all the unicorns.
Required: Just a mage who's a nobody. It's a pretty easy job.
Reward: 0.000001 Jewels.
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow.
"YUSH! EPIC JOB! FINALLY I SHALL PAY RENT!" Lucy yelled triumphantly. I never received so much money before! I'm so happy! And it's only 40 monsters that are big, dangerous, vicious, man-eating, poisonous, toxic, biohazardous, magical, evil, twisted, humongous, spiky, sharp and flies! Should be pretty easy.
-Le TIme Skip Once Again-
"So lyke those thingies r the monsters. Kay kay good luck. Bai bai. We got ya like tomb ready. Kkbai." The mayor informed her and walked away. The monsters were flying around the mountains right next to the town somewhere over the rainbow.
"I CAN DO DIS! CHARRRGEEE! FOR DA LOVE OF FAIRY TAAAAAAAAAILLLLLLL~!" Lucy charged with a random sword.
-A Minute Later-
"Sorry Natsu, I have failed you. I am ashamed. Goodbye!" Lucy fainted from weariness. The monsters looked at Lucy.
"Is it just me or does she like look like a big fat chicken wing dipped in caramel and hot sauce, sprinkled with cinnamon apple popcorn seasoning and pepper, marinated in fish sauce, and jalapenos on top for a topping?" One of the monsters asked his buddy, LolMonster.
LolMonster replied, "It's just you. I think she looks like pomegranate, pistachio, and corn ice cream mixed with mint marshmallows, topped with hot sauce, random herbs, chili peppers, butter in liquid form, and then having apple slices dipped in fish sauce on the bottom. Now THAT sounds good." He replied to his buddy, OMGMONSTA.
"NO NO NO. She is a dish of fried rice with persimmons, pistachios, curry with chopped vegetables of corn, carrots, and tomatoes that were dipped in chocolate sauce, with random spices added in and of course, undercooked catfish that was first marinated in apple juice! Duh!" Another monster, STRANGERDANGERRRR, commented.
And so, they began to fight until they agreed whoever reached her first would get to eat her.
"CHICKEN WING!"
"ASDFGHJKL; ICE KREAAAM!"
"ASDFUN;37AR RICEEEEEEE!"
They all charged at her.
DUN DUN DUN LOL ITS THE END YAY YAY Nah I won't prank you like that. This is just for the purpose of like distracting you, hopefully, while we set like a time skip and like get the actress ready, ya know? Oh wait, then what's the point of distraction? Pffft okay we're done LOL you may read on.
-Time Skip-ooooooh something shiny.-
At Fairy Tail, Natsu and the others have waited for Lucy from her solo mission for like five years. Eventually they gave up, you know? But Nastu-I mean, Natsu *cough cough*, being the stubborn little brat he is that makes me watch to punch the soul and life out of him, decides to sulk and NOT give up on her.
"Y?! LUCEYY!" He sobbed.
"Give et up. Ur just sad dat I got a gurl before u so HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA lets go smoocheh smoocheh, Juvia," Gray laughed and then walked away with Juvia and into an unknown room that had soundproof barriers around it inside the guild.
WA-BAMMMMM!
The doors slammed open. It was opened to be revealed by a pink haired girl. Yes, pink, because brown and black and red and white and silver and all those other cliche "cool" colors are too used, so pink is better.
"Wazzup? I'm like here for Fairy Tail if ya like hazn't noticed or anything but like yea." Lucey, YES IT'S LUCY OMIGODITSLUCY, said. You're wondering how she got such vibrant, luscious, and silky pink hair, huh? WRONG! UR THINKING ABOUT HOW SHE'S ALIVE AREN'T YOU?! *RAAAAAAAAAGE*
So anyway she was alive because then the master of all monster taming or somewhat kind of guy appeared, tamed all those vicious and obviously dangerous monsters, gave her some awesome powers and changed her appearance. But you see, Lucy wanted revenge for no particular reason, so she went back to Fairy Tail. End of the Nutshell in the Nutshell.
"Yea, so wut's ur name, gurly?" Mira yawned.
"None of ur beeswax, wo-MAN. But if ur so DESPERATELY trying to FLIRT with MEH, then my name ish Billy Bobio The Fail the III aka Josephina The Other Failure the VI ALSO KNOWN AS Princess Billy Jack the Ultimate Failure the VIII, WHO'S ALSO KNOWN AS Krystal." Lucy answered.
"I see. So why'd u like join Fairy Tail? Coz U WANT A PIECE OF THIS EPIC FRIEND POWA?! BWAHAHAHAH FRIEND POWER RAYYY!" Mira shot a sparkly rainbow ray full of hearts and stars at the ceiling. "Ya see, ya see? So powerrfulll right?"
"I'm here for REVENGE BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA-ACKKK *COUGH COUGH COUGH HACK HACK COUGH HACK COUGHHHH!*" Lucy tried to laugh evilly but it ultimately failed.
"Kewl story bro. Kay I'm busy now so like bai." Mira went away to throw some beer mugs at unimportant people.
"PIIIIIIINKYYYY ooo I wonder if we're like siblings u kno coz like we both haz pink hair but mine is OBVIOUSLY the prettier one so like yea," Lucy pointed an accusing finger at Natsu, who was getting fat somehow off of fire.
"Wut? Im BUSY HERE WOMAN. A MAN'S BEST FRIEND IS NOT A STUPID CAT, BUT FOOD!" Natsu shoved his face with the fire he's eating.
"ITS MEH, LUCEYYYY N I CAME FOR REEEVENGEEE!" She pulled out a large sword with tons of sparkly diamonds and other pretty stuff on it. "I CHALLENGE CHU TO A DUELL!"
"ORLY?! BRING IT ON, BRO!" He pulled out an equally similar sword.
"CHAAAAAAAAAAARGE!" They both yelled. As the sword was about to hit each other, a beeping noise interrupted them. Lucy blinked. She straightened up, and pulled out an alarm clock from her sleeve somehow.
"Oh. It's dinner time. Kay byez." She skipped away out of the guild, leaving everyone dumbfounded. Wow, what a weird word – dumbfounded?
So then they all lived happily ever after until a giant monster killed Lucy and then they all got depressed until an equally weird new person came, and the whole thing happened over and over.
"And scene~!" I was in a cheery mood right now. "The next chapter will either be another cliche if suggested, or it will be an extra chapter of what we really do, right cam~er~a man?" I nudged him with my elbow.
"H-Hai..."He blushed furiously. I slowly leaned in and -NO, WE NEVER DID THAT. IT'S CALLED ACTING. Hehe, get it? No? Oh well. "Yeah, Kitsune-san made me act. But please give us another suggestion, unless you want the behind-the-scenes chapter! Just let Kitsune-san know by reviewing or PMing! Well, until next time!" He sighed and dragged the corpses out of the building to the cemetery.
BWAHAHHAHA I just love the last part...I actually imagine him like kind of young, with messy brown hair and then a white baseball-ish cap on his head, yeah you get the picture XD I already have the behind-the-scenes chapter planned out! If you can give me another idea, that's great too! Until next time! *bows*
~Kitsune-Dark-Knight