WARNING: EXCESSIVE ANGST AND SMUT!!
Dressed, Suzaku met Kallen out by the practice courts, located conveniently in the courtyard between the four barracks.
"I take it you had a good night?"
"Hmm?" He started stretching.
Kallen grinned, "I have the room beneath Lelouch's."
He flushed against his will, "I don't –"
"I could think of only one reason why the bed would be thumping against the wall and scraping the floor like that. I must say, I really didn't see it coming. You two seemed so… snippy with each other on the road."
Suzaku's face reddened further.
"Don't worry. I don't think anyone else noticed and I don't intend to mention it."
The brunet didn't bother mentioning the conversation between himself and Lelouch that had been heard by the whole of the scouting party.
Kallen was still talking, "–rather good looking. I can see why you'd let him do that to you.'
"Do what to me?"
The girl looked uncomfortable for the first time, "Er, you know," she made a crude hand gesture.
"Oh. O– Oh. N– No. He doesn't – I mean, I'm the – It's not like that."
"Oh. Er, sorry to assume. He just – He didn't seem the type to let someone do that to him. I mean, he's so… bossy."
Suzaku grinned ruefully, not entirely sure why either of them was being so open, considering they barely knew each other, and Kallen had certainly seemed willing to think they were spies. "He's none too happy about it actually. I let him try occasionally, but until he can keep me down for twenty seconds it's not gonna happen."
She chuckled, "I wish him luck."
Suzaku cringed, "Please don't, that's one promise I'd rather not keep."
"I don't think I can blame you there. Now, are we sparring or not?"
Lelouch was fucked. In a more than literal sense.
Suzaku was insidious. That was the problem.
He was loud and annoying and stupid and somewhere, probably while in Aries, Lelouch had begun to trust him. Worse, in Kanto he'd started to like him.
Because Suzaku was insidious.
It was the trust that was the heart of the matter because Suzaku was going to leave him for some stupid, idiotic princess who couldn't think for herself and would probably need Suzaku to cut her meat for her. Hell, Suzaku would probably love her for it. Undoubtedly he wanted someone like that, that he could protect and lead and do all those things for of which Lelouch wouldn't dream. She'd probably like cuddling. After they were married of course because she'd have Suzaku's pre-Lelouch mentality that kissing is only for engaged couples and even then should be done sparingly.
Whatever. It wasn't the separating that was bothering him. It was that Suzaku was leaving him and not the other way around. Lelouch wouldn't care at all if he left Suzaku, but he didn't like being abandoned, for obvious reasons. Too many unpleasant memories.
Lelouch had known from the start that Suzaku would leave him, but he'd been stupid and started with the trusting and the liking. And now they were involved, in a way, which only made it worse.
And now he was fucked. (In a few weeks, he would only be fucked in a figurative fashion.)
He rolled over and buried his face in the pillow to keep from screaming with frustration; he was so stupid, maybe even more so than Suza-dumbass.
And it was all the fault of stupid, insidious Suzaku with his big eyes and wandering hands. Damn him.
It would seem that if Lelouch was pretty enough to inadvertently seduce a young, sexually-repressed, very-much-in-the-closet gay boy Suzaku was stupid enough to seduce a cynical, bitter prince with more than a few homicidal urges.
An hour or so passed and both fighters were starting to get tired. They agreed to take a water break.
Gulping water, Suzaku noticed a very familiar figure leaning casually against the fence watching him with bored purple eyes. Their eyes met and then Lelouch walked away casually, as if he hadn't seen Suzaku at all.
Kallen, who'd been watching them both, smirked at the remaining boy, "It's alright you can go. I'll find someone else to try and kill."
Suzaku grinned gratefully and dashed off in the direction Lelouch had disappeared to.
In Lelouch's room, Suzaku was pinned to the wall almost immediately upon entry, the door shut hastily behind him.
"What-"
"Shut up," Lelouch ordered, catching the brunet's lips in a bruising kiss. He could only groan as Lelouch bit his lip and then kissed it better.
Suzaku gripped his partner's rear tightly and rocked their hips together, letting out a guttural moan as one of Lelouch's hands made its way down his pants and began fisting him roughly.
"I'm not sure whether to be turned on or – oh god - unh – frightened," he groaned, very much in the happy sex way.
"I should watch you fight more often, then?" the prince smirked before biting the major vein in his neck.
"Nnh, do that again." One of Suzaku's hands mysteriously managed to go down the back of Lelouch's pants.
He moaned as one of the fingers wormed its way inside of him and swore loudly as it prodded his prostate.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. His hands moved to Suzaku's hips as his own rocked in time the movements of Suzaku's finger and the thrusts of his hips.
"Suzaku," he whispered, hands clawing his back, an action he was fond of. Suzaku felt the sting through the shirt and hissed happily.
"Ahh!"
A second finger had joined the first.
Lelouch buried his face in Suzaku's shoulder as he came messily over their chests.
And the brunet said them again, those three little words that rendered Lelouch incapable of intelligent thought or speech, though less so the second time around.
"You're so amazing."
An almost painful hip-grind as he held Lelouch tight to him and groaned his release.
He licked the sweat off Lelouch's neck. "You're amazing," he repeated, kissing just below his ear.
Lelouch had remembered how to talk and, more importantly, breathe like he hadn't just run a marathon. "I assume you're talking about my skills in, er, bed, as it were." He moved his head to look Suzaku in the eye.
"No! I meant –"
The door opened.
Kallen stood there, "They're – Oh. Oh god." Her eyes bugged and she whirled around. Addressing the ceiling, "They're about to set out for the raid Lelouch planned. We all thought you might want to help out. You two are obviously busy, so –"
"No, no. It's fine. We'll be down in a few minutes. Meet in the courtyard?" Lelouch didn't embarrass easily, probably had something to do with his lack of modesty.
She nodded and shut the door carefully behind her.
"Oh god," Suzaku whimpered, his head dropping to Lelouch's shoulder. "That was so –"
"Wonderful?" Lelouch mused, running his hands habitually through Suzaku's hair.
"I was actually gonna say awful. The Kallen-bit, not the, er, other bit," he amended hastily at the look on Lelouch's face.
Lelouch shrugged and pulled out of Suzaku's embrace, "We should probably get cleaned up if we're going to be in the courtyard in a few minutes."
The brunet nodded absently, "Right." He tugged his stained shirt off; Lelouch did the same.
"Let me help you with that," Suzaku righted his friend's - ? – pants and laced them.
"Suzaku…" whispered the prince, "What were you going to say just then? Before Kallen walked in."
"I –"
"Never mind," he started to pull away again. "It doesn't matter."
"I –"
Lelouch kissed him to silence him, "Get dressed."
"How come you never told me you planned a raid?" Suzaku asked in a slightly wounded tone as they descended the stairs.
"I thought it was implied by my statement of 'these people are tactical morons'."
"Oh, yeah, I suppose you're right."
"Of course I am."
"…"
"Aren't you going to ask me who and what we're raiding? And why; why is a good question."
"There's no need to," Suzaku replied with a simple shrug of his shoulders as he held the door to the courtyard open for his companion.
"Ah, yes, I suppose gossip would travel fast in a place like this."
"Not that. It's just… I trust you. Whoever and whatever we're raiding, it must be for a good cause."
The boy really was an idiot.
"Do you happen to recall yelling at me for my unscrupulous desire to leave this place in the dead of night just a few nights ago?"
Suzaku shrugged again, "I trust you, Lelouch."
Lelouch stared at him in wordless horror. What the fuck? When did that happen?
And more importantly, when had Lelouch ever done anything to, inadvertently, he planned it all the time, gain someone's trust?
Lelouch was mystified.
"So," Lelouch asked conversationally, "I know why I hate good old Charlie boy, but why do you guys hate him so much?"
The man he'd addressed the question to called for a halt, "My fair comrades, our new compatriot has asked us a question!"
"He did?"
"Did he ask –"
"Ooh, I hope he did!"
"Do you think he –"
"So!" the man continued over the chatter, "why do we hate our good emperor?"
One of the surrounding men, they'd formed a circle, pulled out a lute and began to strum. Lelouch and Suzaku were unpleasantly reminded of the inn in Sutherland.
"Ohh," sang four voices at once at difference pitches.
A man came up and stood by the musician.
"A despot is one who uses power too much,
"And Charlie z. is such,
"He has no gentle touch!"
("Not like a classy whore!" sang the four back-up singers.)
A woman stepped forward, "We rob from the rich and give to the poor,
"Stand up to the man and give him what for! (1)
"Leave money quietly by the door."
("Smarter than the rest, that's us!")
A man twin to the first stepped forward, "So don't make a fuss,
"And your hair don't muss,
"There're children, don't cuss!"
("He has too many taxes!")
Another woman, "but we've got our axes,
"And we –"
"That's enough!" Suzaku shrieked. "We get it, taxing tyrant, bad-bad, yes."
"Are you sure?" the originally questioned man asked, "There is much more, we haven't even gotten to the part about the pirates!"
"That's alright; you can sing it to us later. Right now, your lyrical opus has gotten us into the fighting spirit."
Suzaku made a mental note to thank Lelouch profusely later on.
"Yes," the man smiled fondly, "our musical genius has that affect on many."
"Right, so, uh, let's get on to the fighting!"
"Ooh! Fight!" one of the men yelled and off they all dashed into the woods.
Lelouch and Suzaku stared at each other.
"What the fuck just happened?"
"I don't know, but I don't want it to happen again."
It was hot, waiting in the trees for the supply caravan to pass. The men and women of the Black Knights had calmed significantly after their quarter-mile sprint and now once again resembled a guerilla crack team.
Emphasis on the 'crack.'
Suzaku hadn't quite recovered and was still prone to breaking into fits of giggles every so often. Possibly because the tune had been quite catchy and several of the people around him would hum part every so often.
He was up near the front of the pass with Kallen and most of the other top-fighters. Lelouch was in the rear with the archers. He was in a place where he had a good view of the soon-to-be battlefield and could shout out orders, should the need arise.
They waited for the front of the caravan to reach the halfway point along their line of bandits. They didn't know they were about to be attacked as their frontal scouts had been picked off with ease, their bodies swiftly and efficiently hidden.
It was painfully still, most of the company didn't dare to breathe. Lelouch fired the first shot, their weapons had been returned to them after their release from "prison". He hit the lead driver squarely in the throat. Arrows and bolts from the other archers rained down, most found their mark, peppering bodies of the imperial irregulars. Kallen and Suzaku jumped from their respective hiding places, leading their followers and inspiring them with battle cries; "Britannian scum!" and "Er, um, death!" respectively. Suzaku had never lead a charge before.
They tried valiantly to fight back; they had to be given for that. But Charles was overconfident and underestimated the enemy he had in the men and women of the Narita Mountains.
A brief note on geography, the main encampment of the Black Knights was in a quite large, the largest in fact, valley in the Narita Mountains, known simply as Narita Valley. (The other valleys were jealous that they couldn't be named after the whole of the mountain range, god forbid there'd be such a thing as originality.)
The pass that is currently hogging the plot-y limelight (not named Narita Pass, thankfully) was narrow and windy with oddly convenient cliffs on either side. These cliffs had equally convenient paths down. They had waited for the party to pass these paths before dashing down them with inspiring battle cries. Trapped between Suzaku and Kallen's people and Lelouch's archers the supply caravan hadn't had a chance.
In that manner, a week passed. Then another. Suzaku spent most of his time sparring with Kallen and the other fighters while Lelouch preferred to pass the hours with the "tacticians." (Lelouch doubted they deserved the title.)
Most nights were spent like the first one because no matter how much Lelouch might protest the closeness incurred by the small bed, he never actually did anything about it like going down the hall to the room that had been Suzaku's.
While most of the Black Knights were aware of their relationship, Tamaki managed to remain in the dark, Suzaku still didn't want to broadcast it, not that Lelouch wanted to wander about holding hands or anything like that. Ew.
To Lelouch's chagrin, Suzaku insisted on trying to teach him to wield a blade. Lelouch maintained that it was a hopeless cause; he was probably right. Due to both of their pride (Suzaku's as a teacher and Lelouch's as a perfectionist and student) there was a tacit agreement that the training sessions be held in the privacy of the woods surrounding camp. Not so far that they couldn't find their way back, but far enough that the odds of someone stumbling across them were low. That was fortunate as they occasionally got "distracted." Coincidentally, any trysts conducted took place in the woods. Lelouch complained about having to pick dirt and leaves out of his hair after, but considering the alternative… Well, something was better than nothing, right?
And occasionally it was Suzaku who picked the debris/detritus out of his hair. He wouldn't let Lelouch top for real, but he liked the feel of Lelouch's slim body on top of him during foreplay; which didn't mean that when the time came he wouldn't happily roll them over.
It was something of a metaphor for their relationship, Suzaku decided one day in a rare burst of introspection. He would let Lelouch have control of the little things, but when it came right down to it, Suzaku wore the pants.
This was even truer when one considered the contents of Lelouch's time with Rakshata, time Suzaku occasionally dropped by during.
It is probably not even worth discussing what Lelouch's reaction would be were he to hear this theory of Suzaku's.
It was Lelouch who brought them back to the reality of their togetherness; finding Suzaku's princess. He hadn't meant to of course, he'd quite forgotten about it. He enjoyed the time he spent with the Black Knights. He was able to, for the most part, do what he liked when he liked. Yes, the cross-dressing was not so pleasant, but he was growing accustomed. It helped that occasionally Rakshata would let him borrow some of the more "interesting" garments with no questions asked.
The awestruck look on Suzaku's face was always worth the laughing look on Rakshata's.
He, Lelouch, had been digging through their mostly forgotten and abandoned packs one day, looking for one of Rakshata's initial designs from Gloucester that she'd wanted for referencing purposes when he'd pulled out the maps.
He had stared at them for several moments, completely unable to think of what they were and why he had them.
So he unrolled the aged vellum and was met with the sight of faded inks detailing the lay of the land.
Falling back to Earth hurt like hell; he was sure he'd broken bones.
Suzaku had been lounging on the bed with a book he was stumbling through out loud to Lelouch to make sure he got the pronunciation right. He'd glanced up at Lelouch's sudden intake of breath. His eyes bugged a little.
"Oh."
Lelouch swallowed, "Yeah.'
Suzaku stared at nothing, incapable of thinking.
"I suppose we should go soon," Lelouch said when he couldn't stand the silence any longer.
"Yeah, I mean, if you – If – Yeah, we should be going soon." Suzaku's brain was still functioning below full capacity.
Lelouch nodded and rolled the maps back up, deposited them on the table and left the room with a muttered statement about teaching Kallen chess.
Lelouch didn't know why exactly breathing had become so difficult all of a sudden.
They left the next day.
The week-and-a-half journey to the castle was one of the most miserable experiences of both of their lives.
They'd forgotten how to interact with each other.
Talking was hard because there was nothing to say beyond rehashing what had already been said. What hadn't – Neither wanted to even think of all the things they hadn't said.
Lelouch's main concern was what precisely he was going to do after this, apart from the regicide.
Regicide was a long term goal; he needed something for the immediate future. Part of him wanted to stay with Suzaku; he'd miss the insidious little bastard. And he'd grown dependent. He was afr– He didn't like the idea of being outside without Suzaku. The idea was foreign and painful and he really just didn't want to go there because then he'd start thinking about why and- And Lelouch just didn't want to go there.
The sex was awkward. More perfunctory than anything else and it tired them so they fell asleep faster and didn't have to stay awake thinking of all the things that went unsaid. Neither of them really put their hearts into it.
Not that there had been "emotion" in the first place. There had been friendly affection coupled with hormones. That was enough. Now it was just a way to kill time.
And afterward Suzaku would roll onto his side with his back to Lelouch and that would be the end. Lelouch was happy about this. It was the one facet of their changed relationship that he considered an improvement. He missed the sniping though. He missed it a lot.
Suzaku was silent for reasons entirely different from Lelouch's. Suzaku just had no idea what to do.
Lelouch was his friend, a friend who happened to sort of belong to him, and Suzaku enjoyed spending time with him. He enjoyed having sex with him. But it went no further than that.
And now something was bothering Lelouch and Suzaku didn't know what. He didn't know how to read people because he'd never had any need to before. Now his best friend was quiet and distant and Suzaku knew he'd rather die than talk about it. So Suzaku did and said nothing and generally tried to give his friend space because that was all he could really do.
And then they arrived at the castle.
Suzaku stared up at it in utter awe. He'd never scene so impressive a structure. Even Lelouch was a little impressed, though he wouldn't admit it.
It was late in the day, the sun would set soon.
"Do you want to make camp for the night and end this tomorrow?" Suzaku asked.
Lelouch shrugged and lead Gawain over to the roadside. They'd dismounted to intake the building properly.
"Not here," Suzaku said, walking Lancelot back the way they'd came until the castle was out of sight, completely blocked by the trees.
Lelouch was brushing Gawain down, his saddle placed carefully on the ground. Suzaku watched him, Lancelot had already been taken care of, and Lelouch was taking his time.
He glanced up to find Suzaku watching him and flushed, "Can I help you with something?"
"Come here." Suzaku's voice was rougher than he'd like.
And Lelouch complied. His brain had been set to sleep mode since he'd found the maps in his baggage.
Suzaku wrapped his arms tight around him and held him close.
"Suzaku, you know how I feel about hugging."
So Suzaku released him a little and kissed him gently on the mouth.
When he moved away Lelouch simply stared at him with an unreadable look in his eyes.
"Lelouch, I –"
"Don't bother." And because Lelouch knew that Suzaku was too dumb to know when to quit he kept him occupied the best way he knew how.
In a few minutes time it felt like the last several days had never happened and they were back in Narita when the world was just the two of them, just the electric feel of all the places they touched and the knowledge that nothing else would ever matter.
It was a temporary feeling, like a drug high, but it was hard to grasp that when in the middle of it.
They took their time like they never had, slowly and carefully memorizing every detail and reaction.
Of late, they'd taken to doing it with Lelouch face down; it was easier not to give a damn. Lelouch hated it; he hated a lot of things about their relationship, but seeing Suzaku's face as he-
It was funny. The look on Suzaku's face used to be what kept him from balking during the early stages. Now it-
Lelouch hated a lot of things about their relationship.
But when he'd made to roll onto his stomach Suzaku had stopped him with a hand and with a gentle headshake. So Lelouch shut his eyes and fisted his hands in the grass.
Suzaku placed a gentle hand on the side of his face. "Look at me. Please."
It wasn't the "please", it was the note of sheer desperation in his voice that forced Lelouch to open his eyes.
He bit his lip, but didn't look his partner in the eye. His eyes were watering from the onslaught of sensation because without even the rough semblance of emotion it just hadn't felt the same.
The realization hit him that this could well be the last time he had sex. Much as he enjoyed it, he really didn't want anyone else to see him like this, naked and writhing and completely lacking his usual self-control. Not people he knew and certainly not random strangers.
His stomach turned to lead.
He wrapped his arms tight around Suzaku's back but didn't claw like he usually did. He just pulled the other boy close to him and buried his face in his neck and inhaled deeply, breathing him in to memorize the scent.
And then he did something he'd promised himself to never do. He moved his lips the inch or so required to position them by Suzaku's ear. "Suzaku, I want y– Please."
Because Suzaku was moving too slowly and even though he wanted this to last forever he'd had enough of Suzaku's teasing.
Suzaku jerked his head back and stared at him with terrified eyes.
Lelouch bit his lip and wondered if he's said too much, revealed too much.
But Suzaku just nodded and it was his turn to bury his face in the other boy's neck.
If Lelouch noticed how unusually bright Suzaku's eyes were he politely said nothing.
Lelouch had thought their previous encounters rendered him helpless, he was wrong; they had nothing on this.
He didn't even know the names of the noises he was making and he had no control over his vocal chords and the words they were forming at all. And he was saying the worst things; horrible, horrible things.
"Harder, oh please, god, harder! Suzaku! Suzaku, I – Please! Please, god, I –" And so on until they weren't even intelligible words anymore.
And Suzaku returned in kind because he had never known anyone, especially Lelouch, could sound like that.
Suzaku was getting that feeling again, the one he hadn't gotten since the first time. The feeling that said he loved Lelouch and Lelouch was amazing and wonderful and fucking perfect. He started biting the neck Lelouch had so conveniently exposed just to stop himself from telling Lelouch how he felt about him.
It was one thing to tell him he was amazing once toward the end. It was quite another to go on about it like he was writing a poem.
But he had to stop biting soon enough because he needed his mouth to pant. Athletic as he was, possessing as much stamina as he did, this was still starting to wear him out. And he had to keep going faster because Lelouch's desperate… mewls… were telling him to and – And he needed to. Because this was good-bye; it was the last time and – And he needed to.
Soon Lelouch's fingers were bruising Suzaku's back as he screamed soundlessly and Suzaku groaned like he was dying.
Lelouch gasped for air, one hand buried in Suzaku's sweaty curls, the other limp on the ground. The brunet panted pathetically into the prince's shoulder.
Suzaku didn't tell him he was amazing, he hadn't since they'd found the maps. First because it just wasn't – It didn't work and saying it would just be – And now he didn't even have to, which was good because he was breathing too hard to communicate just then.
"You… you should probably pull out now," Lelouch reminded him in a quiet pant.
"R-right." He held Lelouch's hips down as he moved his own away.
The prince made a sound like sigh and shifted his hips slightly. He grunted softly when Suzaku collapsed onto of him again.
With far more effort than Suzaku believed himself capable of at the moment he rolled them to their sides and dragged a blanket over them.
Lying face-to-face Suzaku smiled weakly and brushed Lelouch's hair off his face and then kissed him again, slow and soft.
And when he wrapped an arm around Lelouch's body to keep him in place Lelouch allowed it without a fuss and, after a few minutes had gone by, he relaxed and allowed himself to hold the other boy close.
He couldn't remember holding anyone like this since when he was younger and C.C. had slept with him just so he could fall asleep without crying because he was alone and scared and he just wanted to go home.
The memory hurt and Lelouch tightened his grasp until the muscles in his arms hurt a little. If it hurt Suzaku, too, he knew better than to mention it.
But he really was too dumb to know when to keep quiet, "Listen, Lelouch, after –"
"We'll plan for tomorrow tomorrow," Lelouch said firmly.
The philosophy wasn't like him at all and he knew it, but it silenced Suzaku and left Lelouch alone with his thoughts. He didn't want that either, but it was better than listening to the false promises or whatever Suzaku was about to spout.
Lelouch woke up in the middle of the night to the odd sensation of someone caressing the skin of his arms. "Molesting me in my sleep, Suzaku?" He kept his eyes closed.
The hand stilled but didn't withdraw, "Sorry, you just looked so –" Gentle fingertips on the side of his neck, "You've got a bruise."
The prince's eyes opened into slits, "It's not the first time you've marked me there."
"But tomorrow – It's so noticeable."
Lelouch wanted to slap his hand away. He rolled onto his stomach, dislodging the fingers, "I'll wear a shirt with a collar, or say I fell down. It doesn't matter, we'll figure something out."
But he didn't want to figure something out. He wanted Suzaku's sweet little princess to know precisely what her handsome "prince" had been doing on his way to rescue her.
Said "prince" propped himself up on one elbow and rested his other hand on Lelouch's scapula, "Look at me, please."
Furious with Suzaku as he was, he complied to the request. "You've been asking that of me a lot lately," he drawled as he rolled onto his back.
"Maybe because you've been avoiding me."
"I don't think that's possible considering it's just the two –"
He would like nothing more than to punch Suzaku in the face, but he accepted the kiss anyway; miserably offering no resistance, opening his mouth when he was expected to. He made no attempt at returning the gesture.
Suzaku didn't seem to mind, his mouth moved down to mark the unblemished side of Lelouch's neck. The latter didn't bother to point out the idiocy of the move, what else could he expect?
He didn't particularly want Suzaku to touch him, in fact, he wanted to be very far away, but he offered no resistance when the brunet's hand drifted lower and grasped him, quickly coaxing him to arousal.
His only response was quiet moans as Suzaku's hand continued and his mouth moved lower. He just lay moaning quietly until- "Holy shit!"
He'd done it for Suzaku a few times since the night of the raid when they'd gotten very drunk, Lelouch more so than Suzaku, and the former had dragged the latter off into the woods and dropped to his knees.
(In Suzaku's defense, he had protested on the basis that Lelouch was far too drunk to have a clue what he was doing.)
Considering all the other things, the dignity he'd tossed away, Lelouch had done for Suzaku's pleasure it didn't seem so very drastic to do this as well.
It hadn't been as bad as he'd expected. His jaw hurt afterward and the taste was – But he'd liked the way Suzaku had shrieked throughout. And after he'd done it once it hadn't seemed like his pride could be further damaged by repetition.
He really liked the way Suzaku shrieked.
The mouth moved away, "Lelouch, please."
He looked down at him, but the mouth had engulfed him again and one of Suzaku's hands grabbed one of his and tugged it over to Suzaku's head.
This surprised Lelouch. He hated it when Suzaku did that to him. (He'd stopped when Lelouch had expressed his distaste for the action.) So he gripped Suzaku's head as lightly as possible as he kept his hips from moving, no matter how much they wanted to act to the contrary.
"Lelouch." There was a note of angry exasperation in the word. So Lelouch let his hips move a little and his hands grip tighter.
This seemed to please Suzaku who went at it with far more gusto than he had previously.
And it was Lelouch's turn to shriek as his legs and eyes scrunched up.
The world went quiet except for his ragged breaths and the soft sound of swallowing. (Lelouch was one for spitting.)
Using the hand still twined in Suzaku's hair Lelouch tugged upwards and, after a second's hesitation, crushed his lips to his. He'd said it himself: the least he could do was show some appreciation, right?
It was following the same doctrine that guided the prince's hand down to the brunet's cock. Quick, hard strokes and it wasn't long before Suzaku's fingers tightened around his upper arms (more bruises to hide) and there was a warm splatter on his stomach.
Suzaku crumpled, seemingly boneless, on top of him for the second time that night. The slightly crushed boy wriggled his hand free and used it caress the brunet's back. His other hand was still tangled in chocolate brown curls. Breathless, Lelouch pressed his face to Suzaku's.
When Suzaku rolled on to his back, Lelouch went with him willingly and even snuggled into his form a little, tugging his head under the other's chin.
Suzaku pulled the blanket over them again and that was it.
Both slept soundly after that.
They slept late because neither had gotten much sleep for obvious reasons. Lelouch was the first to move. He sat up and stretched and scooted away from the warm body partially under his before it could protest.
"What –"
"We wash. We dress; you should probably borrow some of my things to look the part. And then you go and get your princess while I sit out here with our pet legends."
Suzaku nodded dumbly. He didn't question Lelouch because Lelouch always knew best and Suzaku sensed on some subconscious level that Lelouch was feeling much too fragile to be questioned or forced into thought. But that was subconsciously. Consciously he just went with his metaphor and let Lelouch make the little decisions so he could feel like he had control.
Except that had been a metaphor for their old relationship, the one where they'd laughed and talked and had done something between having sex and making love. He couldn't yet generate a formula (Lloyd's bad influence no doubt) to this new robotic relationship with the silence and the cold sex.
They washed one after the other because being naked in such close proximity was bad. What had been natural and beautiful last night was taboo in the morning.
Suzaku did indeed end up borrowing Lelouch's clothes because no one wanted to be rescue by a farm boy. Actually, they switched all their clothes and their identities. Suzaku could be the dashing prince who'd come from a far away kingdom to rescue the maiden fair while Lelouch could be his humble vassal, possibly rescued from bandits, forever indebted to the prince.
"Er, how do I look?" Suzaku asked with a nervous grin, finger-combing his hair.
Lelouch shook his head and, careful not to touch him, straightened his shirt and re-combed his hair.
He took a step back and gave a nod, "You'll do."
He was breathtaking, even if Lelouch's shirt was a little snug.
Suzaku's grin grew. He looked like a little boy with a new toy.
They walked their horses back to where they'd stood the day before. Lelouch took Lancelot's reins. "Go on then."
Suzaku was beaming, he turned to walk away, then stopped and turned back, placing a hand on Lelouch's arm, "Lelouch."
Lelouch's breath caught in his chest.
"Thank you, for everything."
He smiled, but said nothing.
Suzaku turned and began to walk away, for real this time.
Lelouch couldn't help himself, "Suzaku! Don't – Don't do something stupid like mistake her gender, okay?"
Lelouch had been sitting on a sun-warmed rock for about an hour, absently petting Gawain as the horse stood protectively between Lelouch and the castle when he heard the sound he'd been waiting for so patiently.
Footfalls.
And accompanying them was the distinct sound of laughter, Suzaku's mellow chuckle a lazy counter note to the lighter, more feminine, tinkling laugh.
Tinkling. Who the fuck laughed with a tinkling sound anyway?
Lelouch was inexplicably irate. Except he was pretty sure he knew the reason to a pin-point-able certainty.
He kept patting Gawain like he hadn't heard them approach, like he could care less. Gawain butted his shoulder affectionately.
They had come in to view; he had no choice but to acknowledge them now. He looked up and tried not to shrink into himself as he did so.
Suzaku stood before him, looking like a damned painting in his borrowed finery (some of Rakshata's less extravagant work), holding the fucking hand of the girl next to him.
She looked like she was a bit younger than the two of them. She had a sweet face with wide, innocent eyes that could rival Suzaku's. Said eyes were a paler, gentler shade of violet than Lelouch's own, her hair a feminine pink.
In short, her appearance was so painfully soft that Lelouch felt a bit nauseous. Or maybe that was just the PDA.
Her stupid, pretty little eyes widened as she took in his appearance.
God, he must look a sight. Suzaku's too-big clothes and – Wait a minute. Since when did he care what he looked like apart from the occasional bit of lingerie for Suzaku's enjoyment? (Oh god, he'd really done that hadn't he? Lelouch's sense of nausea grew.)
"Le – Lelouch?"
He'd really, really hoped it wasn't her, but he'd recognized her the instant he'd seen her. It wasn't as if coloring like hers was common.
He stood and forced a smile, wrapping his arms around her when her body collided with his.
She released him.
"Lelouch, I'm so glad you're – We all feared the worst!" Her eyes were bright with tears.
He smiled wider, sincerity and serenity oozing from his very pores, "I'm fine."
"Oh, I'm so glad!" She buried her face in his chest again.
Suzaku had been watching the whole affair with shock and bewilderment. "You – You two know each other?"
They stepped apart; she stayed close by his side, an arm wrapped around his.
"Kururugi Suzaku, may I present Euphemia li Britannia."
Suzaku heard the surname, he did, but the truth didn't really hit him until Lelouch tacked on with a smile that was discernibly bitter despite his best efforts.
"My sister."
Lelouch called himself a thousand kinds of idiot as they rode.
Britannia was a huge kingdom. The superpower on this continent. It also boasted the largest royal family of any nation. Hell, the Britannian royalty count probably surpassed the combined totals of the other known kingdoms. Statistically speaking, it was very likely that Suzaku's princess and one true love would be one of his siblings.
Why hadn't he realized that? He never would have done the things he had done had he known it'd be one of his fucking sisters that Suzaku would – Oh god, he was going to sleep with her at some point, wasn't he?
Lelouch felt sick again.
And of all the sisters to choose from, it wasn't like there were slim pickings, it had to be her. (Lelouch made yet another note to himself. This one instructed him to never ever mention to Suzaku that Euphemia had been the first person he'd ever had romantic feelings for. He would have been more freaked out by the slight incest had he not been about seven at the time.) He was sure the only thing worse would be that it was Nunnally in that tower. He'd just about kill himself if it was his sweet younger sister (his one and only full sibling) that was destined to have hi– Suzaku. Just Suzaku.
(In a sick way, he wished it had been Clovis. He'd pay to see the look on Suzaku's face were that the outcome. (The fact that Clovis was male and straight did not come into play in this thought.))
"Brother, are you alright?"
His fucking sister.
He faced her with a smile, "Of course. I'm just thinking how good it is to see you. Tell me, how are the others? Nunnally? Schneizel? Clovis? Cornelia?"
Those four, plus Euphemia, had been his favorite siblings. Nunnally, of course, held the top position.
She'd taken the death of their mother much better than Lelouch had. She always had possessed a certain serenity Lelouch had never mastered. He could suppress his emotions, for the most part, with the best of them, but wasn't at peace with the world like she was. (2)
A fact that became more and more obvious as the urge to punch Suzaku's face in grew.
"I'm going to go ahead, leave you two alone."
If he had to take another second of their whispering and quiet laughter he would kill something.
"Are you sure that's alright, Lulu? I mean, is it proper?"
Lelouch smiled with sweet sincerity. "It's alright, Euphy, I'd trust Suzaku with anyone's virtue."
"Lelouch! That's hardly an appropriate thing to say in mixed company!"
They were both blushing. Lelouch suspected that was for very different reasons.
"Besides, dear sister, it seems a little late to nit-pick proprieties considering how close you two are sitting."
"Lel –"
Lelouch kicked Gawain sharply in the sides and drowned out the rest of Euphemia's protest in the pounding of his descrier's hooves on the packed dirt of the road.
Lelouch knew he'd acted the jerk. He'd apologize later of course. For now, he just needed to be very far away from the happy couple.
(1) These two lines are almost exactly stolen from the "Hero of Canton" song in the "Jaynestown" episode of Joss Whedon's Firefly.
(2) For the record, because it isn't particularly apparent, Nunnally is nether blind nor crippled in this story. That, the separation, and the fact that he was the one locked in the tower explain his lack of extreme protectiveness when it comes to his younger sister. He is still, of course, quite fond of her.
A/N: Sorry this took so long. It would actually have taken longer were I not leaving on Friday for Anime Boston. Whoo!
Um, yeah. There was a lot of angst involved in writing this. It //might// show, just a little.
Raise your hand if you saw the Euphy thing coming.
Please review if you enjoyed it!