I love German Shepherds, cats, and the colours Blue and Green so I couldn't resist the temptation of putting it into this chapter. With that said, enjoy!
Chapter 10 – Differences And A Kiss In The Rain
I had originally thought that once Ichigo and I were done in the diner, we would head our separate ways but that plan quickly changed. I didn't mind, and I would even go as far to say that I was glad that the original plan had changed. There was something about the boy that stood next to me that made me curious, not to mention trust him completely, despite the fact that I had only known Ichigo for an incredibly short period of time. Needless to say, I kind of liked the feeling that came with Ichigo. I wasn't sure what it was but there was a gentle, calming aura that surrounded him, and in turn, it made any unsettling thoughts disperse. In the last hour or so, the pair of us had talked about what we wanted to do with our lives, our likes and dislikes, our favourite colours and bands. It was surprising to know how different Ichigo was to me. He wanted to go to an art college, whilst I simply wanted to graduate high school and get a job, he liked the colours Red and Green, whilst I liked Blue and Black, and that he also liked dogs, in particular German Shepherds, whilst I preferred cats, like Panthers for instance. I had expected Ulquiorra to send a text message or even phone me to ask where the hell I was whilst I conversed with Ichigo, but he didn't. It came as a bit of a surprise, but at the same time, it didn't come as that much of a surprise. Ulquiorra was his own person, and that meant that he didn't have to worry over me like a mother hen, although I knew he would do.
"So, what now? Do we go our separate ways or what?" I slowly asked as the pair of us stepped out of the diner.
"Could do, but I'm curious. I want to know more about the person next to me" Ichigo shrugged casually before he flashed a small grin. I watched as he then looked up at the sky; it looked like it was going to rain. The sky had a heavy presence that lingered throughout it, and as that presence skilfully dodged the darkening clouds, I was almost certain that at any given point, the heavens would open up and cry heavy droplets of rain. "Rain" Ichigo said, a simplistic look overcame the grin from earlier. It was barely audible, almost like a whisper, and at that point, I looked up. The sky did look dark, but part of my vision was clouded over with part of the dark hood that I wore.
"Seems that way. Let's go" I stated dully. Rainy days were something that made me feel lethargic, and right now, all I felt was exhausted. I would have easily gone home and slept happily like an overgrown cat if I had the option, but a part of me told me to stay, and safe to say, I wasn't sure why I thought that way. Could it be the fact that Ichigo...? Nah, everyone's gotta have at least a negative memory of something, or a painful one that they just have to accept. If so, what's his? He smiles a lot more than I do, that's for sure, but there's something about that smile, that lonely smile that he wore earlier that I just don't like. Not to mention the fact that there's something about him that makes me trust him completely. It's weird. It's a weird notion, no, a weird feeling. Is it even possible to trust someone that I basically just met with my live? Is that even possible? I thought to myself. I forced the thought out of my mind as I started to walk down the street, and before long, Ichigo had joined me by my side.
"You don't really go out a lot, do you?" Ichigo quickly asked as we passed through a large sea of people consisting of either students and their friends, mothers with their young children and men who were either going to work or had just come from work. I looked at him with an odd look plastered on my face. "I mean, what do you do when people see you?" Ichigo clarified.
"They don't" I simply stated. "I try not to go out as much as physically possible" I briefly explained with almost a bored tone lingering in my voice. I didn't mean to sound bored, but the question had reminded me of whom I had been. Vain. Inconceivable. A laughing joke. My expression contorted into one that filled with a combination of anger and shame. I was ashamed of who I was, and how I had been so blissfully ignorant of what I had had. It pissed me off.
"Not much of a people person then, huh?" Ichigo asked. At that point, I wanted to tell him otherwise, but I couldn't. I didn't feel confident in myself to come out and say 'Yeah, I used to be a complete asshole who took everything in regards to physical appearance for granted', not yet anyway. I had constantly looked at my reflection in the mirror, or in an available window the first few days of having the 'curse' placed on me, but now; I couldn't bear to look at my reflection. All I saw when I looked in the mirror, or in a window, was the monster that I was.
"You could say that" I answered after I swallowed hard. My throat had felt dry, but the more I spoke with Ichigo, the more it started to feel like sand paper. It burned like crazy and I knew what caused the burning sensation. My fear of being truly alone, my fear of being rejected, had caused my throat to feel like a desert. "What about you, though? Why are you so interested in knowing who I am?" I asked without realising what I had just said. When I next looked at Ichigo, he shrugged. A blank expression was present but it wasn't hard to figure out that a scowl had been worn previously on his face.
"I don't know. There's just something about you, Sho. Like I said, you're different to the people I've come across. I like it" Ichigo smiled reassuringly, and at that point, it started to rain. I cursed underneath my breath at the sudden change in the weather, but what had caught me off guard was when Ichigo grabbed a hold of my wrist and quickly pulled me in no direction in particular. I was about to argue back but as I had been forced to follow Ichigo, the rain came down hard and I saw out of the corner of my eye that the sea of strangers that had been around the pair of us were either taking shelter underneath umbrellas or underneath the entrance of nearby shops. I couldn't help but watch Ichigo, well, in particular the back of his head, as the rain quickly dampened his orange locks. There was something about it, and there was something about the situation that I was currently in, that made a small flicker of hope come alight in my soul. Our footsteps were quick as they came into contact with the concrete ground and small puddles of rain below, and as I let Ichigo lead the way, I couldn't help but chuckle a little. I had tried to keep it discrete, but subtly wasn't my forte, so in the end, the chuckle grew louder. "What's so funny?" Ichigo asked as we came to the entrance of an open shop. I was surprised to know that there was hardly anyone here.
"Nothing. I was just thinking about something" I answered. I watched as Ichigo raised an eyebrow, mainly in curiosity if nothing else.
"Like what?" he questioned. I couldn't help but look into his clearly confused brown eyes, nor could I help but smile at the expression on his face. I felt his fingers tighten their grip a little on my wrist, but it didn't hurt that much.
"I was just thinking... that maybe you're different. Compared to some people I've met, I mean" I responded. I watched as Ichigo blushed a little; it was surprisingly cute and with the stunned expression that he wore at that point, it just added to the cute factor. It suited him, not in a girly way, but in a way that rendered him speechless for a minute. The pair of us fell into a comfortable but brief silence after that as we remained fixed in the entrance of the open shop; the only sound that accompanied the silence was the heavy sound of rain pouring down. I couldn't help but look as the droplets of rainwater looked like sprinkles of glitter on Ichigo's hair and forehead.
"You've met people?!" Ichigo asked. I could tell that his voice dripped with sarcasm at that point, and I knew that it was meant as a joke, but I nodded nonetheless. Ichigo's expression softened a little, but the way he blushed and the grip that he had on my wrist was still present.
"Not many, but all of them only liked me for what I used to look like. I changed. I doubt they would even look twice in my direction if they saw what I looked like" I said as lightly as possible. The truth hurt, and I knew deep down that if I was to go to school tomorrow, no-one would look in my direction. I knew that questions regarding my appearance would arise, and I couldn't bear the fact of having so many people openly gawk at what I had become. At that point, Ichigo let go of my wrist and took a step away from me. I didn't say anything as I looked at him with Confusion clearly written all over my face.
"Then, they didn't really know very well. I don't pretend to be something I'm not, but I'd like to think that I know you a bit better than compared to the people you've met and come across. If someone's only concerned with how they look, then how the hell are they able to see what they truly look like?" Ichigo stated. There was something about the vibe that he gave off at that point that made him seem very knowledgeable of what it was like to be prejudged by others, and there was something about his words that made me want to hug, and kiss him, and tell him that he was exactly right. I looked at him, and I felt my own blood rush to my cheeks and dust them lightly. I was right. This kid definitely knows what it's like to be prejudged, but he's wiser than people his age. I wonder why? Maybe...maybe he's had to deal with something that was out of control and someone offered him some great advice? If so, I need to thank that person, I thought to myself.
"You really are something, Ichigo" I said. It was meant to be to myself but I hadn't realised just how loud and outspoken it was, and at that point, Ichigo turned to look at me. The blush that had been on his cheeks reappeared, and I could have sworn from the dim lighting that the dark sky had offered us, that the vibrancy of it had grown from being a faint pink colour to almost a bright pink colour. I meant what I had said, and I wasn't going to try and take it back.
"Thanks" he simply said at first. A comfortable silence soon overcame the pair of us as the rain started to ease off before long, and I was pleasantly surprised to see the rays of sunlight come through the sky, eradicating the darkness of the rainclouds. "Hey, Sho. Can I ask you something?" Ichigo asked.
"Go ahead" I offered a small smile. Ichigo remained silent for all of a second.
"It's kind of personal and a little girly, though" he stated, and I couldn't help but feel like the main reason as to why he had just said those words was an indication to the fact that I had the right to change my initial answer. I felt that way, but stuck to what I had said as I nodded slowly, as if to say 'Ask away. I'm not taking back what I just said'. "Do you believe in Love?" Ichigo asked slowly and blushed lightly as he spoke. I fought back the urge to chuckle, but I watched as the surprisingly cute expression that he had worn before soon return. I didn't say anything at first. I knew that I didn't believe in Love, only in Lust, when I was the person that I used to be before I had this 'curse' placed on me, but since I had met Ichigo, I was starting to have second thoughts about the situation. Maybe it was a good thing that I did have this 'curse' placed on me? If I didn't, then I never would have met Ichigo, and we wouldn't be talking like this, so that's definitely gotta be a good thing. When it comes to Love, however, I can't say that I have experienced being in it, but being able to talk to him like this, without any restraints, it does feel good, I thought.
"I've been in Lust before, but for Love...I don't know" I answered. "Why do you ask?" I quickly responded. I didn't hear Ichigo's response, but I certainly felt it. I felt it when his lips touched mine, and I had felt his breath linger on my skin before he had done so as he tiptoed to close the height difference between the pair of us. I was stunned; sure I had been kissed before, but that had only been with girls, never with a guy before, but something about the way that Ichigo's soft but equally strong lips and how they had connected to my own, it felt better than any girl's lips that I had kissed. He tasted like smooth, rich chocolate mixed with a lingering taste of cinnamon, and it was enough to drive me crazy. He also smelt faintly of cool mint and the raindrops seemed to make the smell grow from being faint to subtle, but not strong that it became overpowering. I had originally thought that I was heterosexual, but as I felt Ichigo's lips on mine, that sneaky thought regarding sexuality quickly disappeared from mind. Did that make me bisexual? Was it just Ichigo caught up in the moment? What was it? Was it...could he? No, it's too early to say that I love him, and I know that I have until the time I graduate, which is in less than four months, but that's not near enough time for me to fall madly in love with Ichigo. Yeah, it must be one of those 'in the moment' moments, I quickly told myself. My eyes widened comically at first, and I felt my body stiffen at the initial shock of it all. I had wanted to shove him away from me, pull down my hood and show him what I truly looked like, but I couldn't. Instead, I felt my body relax slowly and I felt my arms wrap around his lithe body, pulling him closer to my own body. I then felt the once-intentionally chaste kiss grow a little more passionate, not to mention a little longer and I felt my eyes flutter shut, until I felt my eyes open once again as Ichigo pulled away and took a step back and blush profusely. I couldn't help but feel a little dejected at that point.
"Sorry. I just caught up in the moment" Ichigo quickly apologised and looked away, as if the sight of me repulsed him. For a second, I thought that that was the case and I felt my chest begin to constrict; my breathing became almost raspy, as well as my heart began to feel heavy in my chest, almost to the point where if it was suddenly dropped, it would break like an antigue, china vase. Without really processing what had happened or what I was doing, I grabbed a hold of one of his hands and intertwined my fingers in his'. From the look that I received as Ichigo turned his head to look at me, it looked like I had shocked him. I knew that that wasn't the case.
"It's okay, Ichigo. I won't hold it against you" I smiled reassuringly as I looked deeply into his warm, brown eyes. He looked into my eyes and I felt my heart lighten, and flutter gleefully in my chest as my breathing steadied. I then looked up at the blue sky; the white clouds looked light and wispy. "Come on, let's go" I slowly said and led Ichigo away from the area. I was still beyond confused as to why Ichigo had suddenly kissed me, but right there and then, it didn't matter that much. What mattered more was the fact that I had kissed him back, and that I liked it. I was apprehensive to know that the crimson carnation tattoo-like design that resided on my forearm would begin to burn, or that the tattooed six would grow darker in colour or something to that extent would happen. I was also apprehensive to know that Ichigo hadn't seen what I truly looked like, and that he might reject me because of it, but one thing was for certain, that being the fact that Ichigo would save me and in a sense, he had started to when we first met at the under-eighteen's nightclub days ago.