Author's Note: It's snowing over here in North Carolina! I'm so happy, lmaoo. I haven't seen snow in such a long time! It's been a while haha.
Um, yeah about Paul's girlfriend, yeah I don't like her either. You'll see why within this chapter… I guess I can consider that as a little spoiler, but it's whatever.
She placed the tip of her pencil hard against the paper; she felt all kinds of stress building at the top of her head as she tried her best to think of an appropriate poem Hetson would enjoy. Her brain was far from getting her work done, though; she was more focused on Paul and what he's been up to. Dawn just wished that things with her and Paul weren't so complicated. And to think that her birthday was coming up in just a few days and he wouldn't even know about it. Letting that thought pass through her mind made her fall deeper in her sorrows.
"Hey, cutie."
Dawn looked up to see Silver now taking a seat across from her, his hair falling messily upon his shoulders. "Oh, hey…"
Silver looked down at the paper and pencil in her hand, raising an eyebrow at her. "You're seriously doing Hetson's assignment?"
She nodded simply. "Yeah, I want to earn a good grade." She narrowed her eyes at her paper as she continued to write something down.
"Oh," he stared at her for a little while longer while she did her work before speaking up again. "You got a thing for my brother?"
Dawn immediately furrowed her eyebrows as soon as she heard this, she looked up at him. "What?"
"Do you got a thing for Paul?" Silver said again.
Dawn opened her mouth to speak, and then soon closed her mouth shut. She wasn't so sure of what to say to that exactly. "He has a girlfriend," she said finally.
"And?" Silver looked at her with a look that expressed the words 'your point?'. Dawn shook her head, not knowing what else to say. "I have a boyfriend," she added.
Silver chuckled lightly at her statement and lowered his voice down a bit as he brought his face closer to hers. "Lucas is a faggot. And you make it perfectly clear that you don't want to be with him."
"Um… no, I don't? I do want to be with him." She argued, "I care about him a lot."
"Yeah, you care about him. That's all," Silver pointed out. Dawn remained quiet at this. "I see the way you look at my brother, and it's not the same look that you give to Lucas."
"I…" She looked away, pulling a strand of hair behind her ear. "You wouldn't understand." She returned back to writing, trying her best to continue focusing on that assignment without getting distracted.
"Are you attracted to him? Do you want to sex him up or something—"
"No!" She hissed, her eyes wide now.
"I mean I can't blame you for even having those kinds of thoughts, he is a good-looking guy."
Dawn just stared at Silver, blinking at every sentence that was coming out of his mouth. "You shouldn't be afraid for having dirty thoughts about him, though. It's normal."
"That's… not my situation…" she mumbled, staring at Silver with a look of concern.
"Then what exactly is the problem, hun?" Silver intertwined his hands together as he waited for her response.
"It's nothing," she looked down at her work and sighed heavily.
Silver looked over Dawn's shoulder and placed his lips together in a firm line. "If you really want Paul, I suggest you get rid of her." He pointed over her shoulder at someone.
Dawn furrowed her eyebrows together and turned around. Her heart fell at the pit of her stomach as soon as she set her eyes on what Silver was talking about. It was that same girl from those pictures; she was sitting on Paul's lap with her arms hooked around his neck as she kissed him like her life depended on it.
Dawn felt her heart rip right out of her chest at the sight; she was at loss for words. She saw that girl, or Letty, caress his hair with her fingers as she pressed her lips harder against his. His hands were at her thighs, giving them a slight squeeze.
When she finally tore her eyes off the scene, Silver noticed tears were running down her cheeks.
She let out a heavy breath and soon gathered her things together before leaving right out of the small café. Silver watched as she left, looking over at Paul and Letty again. He sighed heavily and ran a hand through his red hair.
xxx
She lifted her hand up to knock on his door, but then again something was telling her not to. She thought for a brief moment, dropping her hand back to her side. Dawn stared at the door for a long moment, she found herself wondering if Paul was even there in the first place. And if he is, she wondered if his girlfriend happened to be there too. Just the thought of that girl being around him bothered her.
Dawn placed her notebook under her arm and sighed again. She let her eyes review the door again before finally taking a risk and knocking on the door. It wasn't until a second later when someone answered the door. Her eyes widened slightly too when she saw Paul being the one to answer it, and shirtless too. Her eyes dared to look down at his muscular chest; she felt her heart beginning to race at the sight.
She let out a heavy breath and immediately tore her eyes off of his stunning muscular figure to look him in the eye. She was always used to seeing him with lavender colored hair, but the black looked pretty nice on him too, she couldn't deny that. For some reason, Silver's words from earlier rang through her ears. She really was sexually attracted to him, but she was also in love with him.
"Hey," Paul said, his voice sounding surprised.
By the tone of his voice, Dawn wondered if that girl happened to be in the room with him. That would explain why he was shirtless in the first place. Curious, Dawn pushed the door open and looked inside the room.
Paul furrowed his eyebrows together at her actions. When she saw nobody else in the room, she looked over at Paul. "Hey," she forced a smile; she slammed her notebook against his chest for him to take. "We have an assignment to work on so don't give me no bullshit about you being busy."
Paul stared at her, surprised. He took the notebook from her hands and watched as she stomped her way inside his dorm.
Paul chuckled lightly at her little comment as he closed the door behind him, looking over at Dawn. "Someone's grumpy today,"
"Well, yeah because you haven't made any effort in helping me with the assignment whatsoever. So! If you're wondering why I'm angry, that's why because clearly you're too busy getting drunk or whatever the hell you're doing!" She shouted, her tone expressing her mood completely.
Paul stared at her, amused. He walked over to his small dresser and picked up a bottle of vodka and brought it up to his lips. Dawn rolled her eyes as she watched him chug down most of the alcohol. "Is that what you do all day?" She asked, folding her arms together, taking a seat on his bed.
He pulled the bottle away from his lips, swallowing the leftover alcohol he had around his tongue. "Not really, I have other shit to do like train my Pokémon."
"You are a disgrace to this school," she groaned.
He grinned at her statement and took a seat next to her, his body heat now falling on her. "Why are you so mad at me?"
"Because you're an idiot," she stated, snatching the notebook from his hands. She opened the notebook to the page where her poem was on. Paul ran a hand through his hair as he picked up his phone.
Dawn saw from the corner of her eye that he was texting his girlfriend; this was enough to get her in a very ugly mood. She forced another smile. "Whoever the hell you're talking to can wait, we have to get this assignment done by tomorrow and I would appreciate it if there were no distractions."
"Hold on, I need to text one more th—"
Dawn snatched the phone out of his hands and tossed it onto Silver's bed that was across from his. He stared at her with an annoyed look and she shot him a cold stare. "Paul, I'm serious. Just help me finish this and I'll leave you alone."
They stared at each other for the longest moment possible. Paul sighed and grabbed the notebook from her hands, reviewing the poem she wrote down.
We grow up learning to depend on each other forever.
We promise to be there for one another through thick and thin.
We are much stronger whenever we are together and life is surely an adventure for us.
Severely broken by a fray, you have fallen asleep somewhere deep within yourself.
Building a mystery, the story of us, history repeats itself over and over again.
Every hour you run for your life and I ponder upon the chance to chase and look after you.
Under attack, you hit rock bottom and it is such a shock to me.
I never once expected for you to be a deeply troubled lost soul.
Stuck in a state of unconsciousness, you see the world in shades of black and white.
Paul looked over those words and looked over at Dawn. "What's this poem about?" He asked her, having a gut feeling that this poem was about him.
She looked him in the eye and stared at him for a short while before answering. "It's about what happened to you."
Paul opened his mouth to speak, but then he closed it shut. He was becoming a little upset that she decided to write a poem about him losing his memory, but there was also a part of him that wasn't so upset with her. "Why did you choose to write about that?" He sounded angry as he said this. "I don't have memory loss—"
"Then how come the only thing you remember from far back is you waking up in the hospital?" He stared at her, not sure of what to say.
"Do you even remember what high school you went to?" She raised her eyebrow at him as he remained quiet.
Paul tore his eyes off of her, looking down at the poem. "You could've at least informed me of what the poem was going to be about." He spat.
Dawn furrowed her eyebrows together. "You were too busy doing other crap, so I couldn't really inform you about anything! Plus, you barely even show up to class, so really you can't blame me for not informing you about it."
She grabbed the notebook from his hands as her bangs now fell over her eyes. "And this was really the only thing I had in mind, Paul. I couldn't think of anything else since you weren't there to help me."
Paul looked over at her. She looked so stressed out of her mind and it made him wonder if it was his fault. She basically did tell him to his face that it was his fault, and he was at loss for words. He just stared at her, sighing again. "I'm sorry," he said finally.
Dawn remained her eyes on the poem, but soon closed them shut after a brief moment. She ran her hands up her head and through her hair, her bangs falling messily along her forehead. She whipped her head at him. "Help me if you really are sorry."
Paul smiled lightly at her comment and grabbed the notebook and pencil from her hands. He looked down at the poem again as he reviewed it once more.
Dawn watched him from the side, frowning somewhat. The last time she had been this close to him was when she last saw him when he was healthy and known who she was. It was saddening to be this close to him only to have her be completely unknown to him.
He was just about to write something until someone entered the room. Paul and Dawn whipped their heads at the door, and Dawn was surprised to see that it was his girlfriend, Letty.
She had long black hair with a black tank top and white shorts on; she looked like she was in her pajama attire, however.
Letty closed the door and walked deeper into the room, her eyes set on Dawn, her eyebrows furrowing together. "Who are you?" She said, an obvious attitude lying on those words that slipped from her mouth.
Dawn stared at her with a blank look. "Dawn," she answered.
Letty stared at Dawn for a short while before looking over at Paul. "And why in the hell are you shirtless with some chick in the room?"
Some chick?
Paul laughed lightly at her reaction. "We're doing homework," he lifted the notebook up to show her before placing it back down on his lap. "And I have my shirt off because it's hot in here."
Letty looked over at Dawn, then back at Paul. She instantly grabbed the notebook from his lap and climbed on top of him, her arms quickly hooking around his neck as she slammed her lips against his.
Dawn blinked over numerous of times as she saw this, taken aback. She was shocked, somewhat, to see his girlfriend barge into his dorm and interrupt them from doing their work just to make out with him. The fact that his girlfriend was even like that bothered her. She obviously has no respect since she just did that right in front of her.
Dawn stared at her sucking his face off, anger rising throughout her body. She just cleared her throat though and waited for the couple to stop sucking each other's faces off.
After a short while, Letty looked over at Dawn, an innocent look playing on her face. "Did you want to join?" She offered.
Dawn's jaw fell, surprised by the question his girlfriend had asked her. She just closed her mouth after a brief moment, though, and soon laughed lightly to herself. For some strange reason, Letty reminded her a lot of Giselle. "No," she answered, making sure her attitude was perfectly noticeable. Letty stared at Dawn for a bit and then shrugged, "Your loss," she returned her eyes onto Paul and crashed her lips onto his, making out with him once again.
Dawn opened her mouth to protest, but she soon closed it shut. She was more angry than hurt while witnessing this. Just the fact that Paul got a girl like her as a girlfriend very much disappointed her. She thought Paul would choose a more respectful kind of girlfriend, not one that is way too much to handle.
She sat there a little while longer before finally getting up, deciding that she couldn't watch this anymore. She grabbed her notebook and pencil in hand before walking over to the door. Dawn stopped to look back though when she placed her hand along the doorknob. Letty had pushed Paul down so now she was making out with him even more, her hair over his face. Dawn felt her heart ache in pain at the sight, but she forced herself to look away and leave, closing the door behind her.
Tears were now flowing down her cheeks as she walked away from that dorm.
xxx
Paul leaned down to place one final kiss upon her lips, smiling lightly as he pulled back. "I love you," he told her.
Letty smiled warmly at his comment. "I love you too," she said, "See you in a few." She gave him a kiss in the cheek before departing to her class. Paul smiled as he watched her go, his eyes now narrowing at the door of Hetson's classroom.
His smile soon fell down to a firm line when he realized he didn't get to finish the assignment he had to do with Dawn. It made him wonder if she finished it without him, but even if she did, he knew she would be extremely angry at him and he honestly couldn't blame her for it.
Paul let out a small breath of air, pulling his book bag over his shoulder before entering the classroom. His eyes immediately fell on Dawn who he saw was reviewing her poem, not even bothering to look up at him.
He stared at her for a short while then walked over to his seat beside Silver. Silver slouched down in his seat and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Are we presenting our poems today?" Paul looked over at Silver as he sat down in his seat.
Silver shrugged, "I don't know. I didn't do it. Did you?"
Paul shook his head.
"I figured,"
Hetson looked at the entire classroom as he adjusted his glasses. When he noticed no one else was entering the classroom and checked the time, he got up from his seat and walked over to the classroom door to close it. "Today, poems are due and I will be calling up the groups one by one to present them."
Hetson walked back to his desk and sat down in his seat as he picked up his clipboard in hand.
Dawn placed her pencil down after reviewing her poem. She looked up from the paper and noticed Paul staring directly at her. She just simply pursed her lips and looked away, waiting for Hetson to call for her group.
"Ciara and Holly," Hetson called, placing his clipboard back down. He looked up and saw the two girls walk to the center of the class, Holly having a piece of paper in her hands.
Ciara cleared her throat, attempting to obtain everyone's full attention. "Our poem is called Rainy Days and Nights."
Dawn let out a heavy sigh as she heard the pair beginning to read through the poem. There were plenty of people in the class who actually did the homework, while some groups didn't. Dawn waited patiently though, she was in no rush to present the poem, anyway.
"Paul and Dawn," Hetson announced after many other heads finished reading their poems out loud.
Paul grunted slightly, pulling his seat back as he got up on his feet, shoving his hands in his pockets. He walked over to the center of the room and waited for Dawn.
Dawn pulled a strand of hair behind her ear and looked over at Paul. "Good luck," Lucas whispered. She narrowed her eyes at him and blinked, surprised Lucas was even wishing her luck. She just smiled partially at him and got up from her seat, grabbing her notebook in hand as she walked over to the center of the class.
Hetson adjusted his glasses and waited for them to begin. Dawn let out a heavy sigh, but before she could even say anything, Paul beat her to it.
"Before we start, I just want to say that I didn't do my part in the assignment." Paul's body was facing Hetson as he said this. "Dawn did the whole thing, she deserves all the credit."
Dawn looked over at Paul in surprise.
"So you're admitting that you were probably fooling around, doing other stuff other than doing what you were supposed to do for class?"
Paul nodded his head.
Hetson sighed, "You realize that I'm going to have to give you an F as your first grade, right?"
Paul nodded again, "Yeah, I know. It doesn't bother me." He looked over at Dawn. She just continued to stare at him in surprise, though.
Hetson shook his head and picked up his pen to write down the grade for Paul.
Dawn stared at Paul for a little while longer and then looked away, her eyes now on her poem. "Um…" she started, bringing her head up as she looked at the class. Hetson set his pen down and returned his attention onto Dawn. "This poem that I have in my hands, it's… actually based on something that is happening now," she looked down at the poem. Paul kept his eyes on her as she continued to speak. "It's actually based on something that I'm going through," she said, her voice sounding shaky as she said that.
Dawn lifted the poem up to get a better view of it; she cleared her throat. "Losing your memory."
"We grow up learning to depend on each other forever. We promise to be there for one another through thick and thin. We are much stronger whenever we are together and life is surely an adventure for us."
"Severely broken by a fray, you have fallen asleep somewhere deep within yourself. Building a mystery, the story of us, history repeats itself over and over again."
"Every hour you run for your life and I ponder upon the chance to chase and look after you. Under attack, you hit rock bottom and it is such a shock to me. I never once expected for you to be a deeply troubled lost soul. Stuck in a state of unconsciousness, you see the world in shades of black and white."
Lucas listened very carefully to every word she was saying. She was talking about somebody she's in love with, but he knew she wasn't talking about him. She was talking about someone else, someone who loved her back but lost their memory. It made him wonder if she ran into someone from her past and probably that was the reason why she had been avoiding him.
"Oh, how do I wish I can write the word love on your arms and keep you out of harm's way. Your silent cries and screams for help speak louder than thunder and dreams." Dawn paused for a short moment, getting lost in the words. "I miss whoever you were before the fall out." Tears were now beginning to fill in her eyes. Paul listened to her, trying to put himself in her shoes if that were him in her situation. He was actually starting to feel sorry for her and he was beginning to hate himself. Because he knew this poem was about him, and he knew she was in love with him. She was practically pouring her heart out to him with this poem and he felt like a complete jerk for the way he has been treating her lately.
"You call my name from down the hall and I can't pretend you don't exist. You reach out to me and we teach each other something brand new. Lonesome wanderer with sweet dove eyes, you are such a small wonder in this world of fragile things." Dawn paused, pulling a strand of wet hair behind her ear. "I don't understand how you can feel so empty and dirty inside when your heart is plenty full of kindess. The you I know is the same you that I don't know, but still need help from time to time. You are much more better than this circumstance so called misery. I will never be able to fix you or change you because you have free will."
"Slipping away, please wake up, you are losing your memory. Where is Jesus in all of this big hot mess? What is the cure for your memory loss? What is the solution for your identity crisis and lack of faith? I forgive you for your early departure and constant need to remain distant."
Dawn paused for a short moment. She let out a breath and tried her best to sustain her emotions. "Someday, you will find your way right back to me like a ship and I might hold you so very tight. Sympathetic, you are making me worry every day. I care about you so never say never today is the end of us. I am not ready to release you, so please keep me in your heart for a while."
She blinked, a tear rolling down her cheek as she looked up at the classroom. Everyone began clapping in applause when they realized she wasn't speaking no more. Dawn shifted uncomfortably in place as she looked over at Paul. Paul stared at her with a look that she just couldn't analyze. But she did wonder if he felt something different with her now after listening to the entire poem.
"That poem is really deep, Ms. Berlitz. I really like the way you wrote it." Dawn smiled lightly as she listened to Hetson's thoughts about her poem. "You really have a way with your words and that's what I like most about your poem."
"Thank you," she smiled, shooting Paul one last glance before returning to her desk.
Even though Paul admitted that he didn't help out with the assignment, she was still very angry at him. She watched as he returned to his seat, tearing her eyes off of him after a short moment.
xxx
"Class dismissed,"
Paul gathered his things together and placed his book bag against his shoulder. He watched as everyone began heading out of class, but he waited for Dawn.
As the class began to get empty, he noticed Dawn heading for the door. "Dawn," he called for her.
She simply looked at him for a brief moment, but she brushed past him purposely, not in the mood to speak with him. Paul groaned lightly as he followed her. Lucas noticed this, watching Paul from behind as he saw him reach Dawn's side.
As soon as they were out in the hall, Dawn whipped her head towards Paul, her facial expression an obvious bitter one. "What?" She hissed.
"I'm sorry about yesterday," he sighed.
Dawn chuckled lightly and folded her arms together. "Yeah, if you really are sorry, you wouldn't have let your precious little girlfriend go ahead and fuck everything up."
"It was not my intention." He spat, "I didn't think she would show up and do what she did yesterday."
Dawn rolled her eyes. "I tried to give you one more chance, Paul, but you just went on ahead and ruined it. I'm sick of you ditching important tasks just to go screw around with your girlfriend. I'm sick of it." She screamed, earning other's attention.
Paul stared at her, becoming annoyed. "Quit being a brat. I told you I was sorry, okay? Why are you making a big deal about it?"
"Oh, I don't know, Paul! You tell me!" She argued.
Paul looked around and noticed other people were now focusing on their business. By this, he was becoming irritated. "Can you guys mind your own god damn business?" He said loud enough, causing people to return back to their own business.
He rolled his eyes, annoyed. He took a few steps closer to Dawn as he kept his voice low enough for just her to hear. "I heard your poem. And I get it, I do—"
She shook her head, "No, you don't. You don't get it because you are happy, Paul. You are happy." She pointed out.
Paul sighed, looking down at the floor as he tried to think of what to say. "… I don't mean to hurt you, Dawn. I'm not trying to hurt you." He looked up at her. "And I'm sorry that I forgot about you, I wish I hadn't."
Dawn stared at him for the longest moment possible. "I… don't think we can be friends." She felt her heart beginning to ache as she said this. "Ever since you came back into my life, it took a turn for the worst and the last time I ever gone through serious depression was when I thought you were dead."
Paul listened to her, not sure of what to say now.
"I was healing before you came back into my life, Paul." He saw tears now brimming at the corner of her eyes. "I had a boyfriend; I was moving on, I was finally letting you go. But now that you're back in my life…" She paused for a moment before speaking again. "I can't even pay any attention to my boyfriend because of you. I hate that you have the power to do this to me, Paul."
"Dawn, I—"
"No," She interrupted. "Paul, I love you and I hate myself for it. I wish you never forgot about me, I wish you never even had a girlfriend. But then again, we can't always have beautiful things." Dawn looked down as she struggled to continue with her next sentences. "I knew it was too good to be true to see you alive. There's always a consequence towards everything that happens on Earth."
Paul stared at her, speechless. He hated not knowing what to say when people always made him feel some type of way.
She laughed lightly. "This is like a fucking novela, like are you serious?" She shook her head as she laughed lightly to herself, her laughter soon dying down moments later. Dawn looked up at him. "You're alive, Paul. But it doesn't feel like it. You're too different and I just… it's like you're still dead and never came back."
"I want to still be your friend," he said finally, not knowing what else to say.
Dawn shook her head. "No, I need to let you go. I can't do this anymore," she began taking steps back as she kept her eyes on him. "I'm letting you go… for the better." She immediately turned around and ran after she said those last few words.
Lucas watched as Dawn left, his eyes returning onto Paul who looked shocked and also hurt. Lucas found himself growing strong hatred towards Paul, it bothered him to find out that Paul was the person she was in love with and had the memory loss. It bothered him all together.
Paul stared hard at her as he watched her depart, emotionless. He closed his eyes shut, grunting momentarily as he soon walked off to his next class.
Author's Note: Damn this has to be the longest chapter I wrote so far for this story lmaoo. Oh well, I feel bad for Dawn.
I'm going through similar problems like Dawn, except for the fact that the guy that I have strong feelings for did not lose his memory, but he does have a girlfriend. And yes it hurts because I have to watch him talk about her like she's his everything when I thought I was his everything…
Anyway, enough about me and my sob story. I will try to update soon, and please leave reviews. (: