Turn Your Back, Look Away and Blink
By Lumendea
Chapter Ten: What You Don't Expect
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who and gain nothing from the creation of this story
….
Breathing in and out, Rose tried to relax as Nurse Redfern checked her over carefully and listened to her heart. Nurse Redfern was completely focused on her work, checking every little thing and writing down notes. Straightening up she put her stethoscope away and looked back at Rose.
"No dizziness or trouble remembering yesterday's events," Nurse Redfern verified to which Rose nodded. "Are you sleeping at night?" Rose nodded to Nurse Redfern, keeping the answers short. Nurse Redfern wrote down a few more things before setting down the journal and taking a seat next to Rose on the bed. She offered Rose a small smile and asked, "No memories coming back?"
"I'm afraid not," Rose told her with a sigh. "I beginning to think they never will," Rose spoke as if admitting something difficult. "I can live with that Nurse Redfern, there are far worse things in this world. I have a good job with good people and I'm healthy." Rose nodded trying to seem like she was acting brave and added, "I'm lucky."
Nurse Redfern frowned a little and remarked, "You are certainly being brave Miss Rose."
"I can't even remember if I was afraid of such things Nurse Redfern," Rose reminded her, a little more cheeky than she probably should have been. "But really I feel healthy and am not under any stress."
That was an utter lie of course. She was stressed every moment now about the Doctor, his human form and this mysterious family. Last night she'd sat up even feeling guilt and concern about poor Martha who was stuck in this dreadful time period. Rose didn't think it was her native period and wondered when she was from and why the TARDIS brought them here.
"I'm glad you're settling in," Nurse Redfern remarked drawing Rose's attention back to her. "You and Mister Smith seem to be becoming close."
Rose bowed her face as if to hide a blush when really she was smirking a touch too much. There was a flutter in her heart that others had noticed and a warm feeling at the realisation that she did indeed have his human form's attention.
"He is such a sweet and kind man," Rose agreed as she stood up. "He's made me feel very safe here."
"Mister Smith is a very kind man and a gentleman," Nurse Redfern agreed with a forced little smile. "He'll make a good husband one day."
Rose nearly choked at the words. She had been so busy flirting she had forgotten the expectations of the time. She and John were spending a great deal of time together and Rose didn't want to think of the rumours that might be going around.
This time she really did blush and answered quickly without thinking, "Somehow I don't think we'll ever be married." Nurse Redfern's eyes went wide and her jaw went slack as Rose realised her mistake and quickly added, "until I can remember things more clearly or we at least know with certainty that there are not any reports on me missing."
Nurse Redfern recovered and nodded before shaking her head and saying, "I'm so sorry Rose, I thought you meant . . . " Nurse Redfern trailed off and shook her head, " . . . It doesn't matter, thank you for checking in."
"Of course Nurse Redfern," Rose replied quickly.
"Seeing as you and I are the only females beyond the servants and I only know your first name, you could call me Joan," Nurse Redfern offered with a hint of hesitation.
"Thank you then, Joan," Rose repeated with a real smile. "I'll see you later . . . I mean have a good morning." With that Rose quickly left the infirmary before her mouth betrayed her further.
…..
Stepping into the library, John admired the room with a smile. He'd not had the pleasure of seeing it this kind of condition and the professor in him greatly approved. The room had been completely cleaned and tidied making it once again a fitting studying location. Even now he could see a few boys around the room with their noses in the books.
He frowned as one of the lads followed Rose with his eyes as she passed him and decided that he'd have to keep an eye on that one. Rather than announcing himself, John stood near the history section and watched Rose climb up the ladder to shelve a few bound papers back onto their shelves. He smiled at as he noticed her lips moving as she counted the books and read off their titles to herself, her tongue slipping out of her teeth. She paused suddenly and turned to look right at him, he blushed having been caught staring but she merely smiled. Approaching her as she climbed down, John was almost disappointed when she didn't fall again.
Reaching the floor, Rose turned to John and questioned, "So what do you think of my perfectly ordered and functioning library."
She watched the smile spread into his eyes as he teased, "I'm not sure it suits you, Rose."
Raising an eyebrow, Rose looked around the room with a forced thoughtful expression as she watched John in the corner of her eye. The boys were all behaving, even the one that kept eying her. Not that Rose thought the Edwardian dress was all that flattering, but she was younger than Nurse Red- Joan and they were teenage boys.
"I could get used to it," Rose finally agreed as she folded her hands in front of her, "if there was a good enough reason to stay." She watched in amusement as John fought to keep a neutral expression.
"Ah yes, good uh are you ready?"
Nodding, Rose picked up her coat and a hat from a coat rack near the door of the library. Turning back to John, she grinned and strode back over to him. She gave one last glance at the boys and reassured herself that they wouldn't make too much of a mess.
"So where does the tour start?" Rose questioned with a smile as she took John's offered arm.
Martha clutched her fist in anger as she looked up from her work to see Rose and the Doc-John Smith walking down the hall together. She couldn't hear what they were saying but the soft smile on his face told her enough. Looking down at the bannister she was cleaning, Martha took a deep breath to calm herself. This wasn't about her, it was about protecting the Doctor and Rose had vanished and left him a mess.
Rose reentering his life when he was human would only hurt the Doctor when he switched back. Martha watched them walk out the main door together before she picked up her dusting and polishing tools. Heading up to John Smith's room, she entered the room as confidently as she could and closed the door behind her. Setting down her things, Martha walked over to the mantle and froze, the watch was gone.
…
Rose listened attentively as John gave her a brief history of Farringham and pointed out what he thought were some local points of interest. There wasn't much of course, but she'd never thought she'd hear the Doctor in lecture mode ever again. His tone was exactly the same and he sounded far more passionate about explaining their surrounding than he had in the brief moments she heard him lecturing to the students. Rose confined herself to a small smile; his excitement was contained to a more moderate level now but his eyes still lit up.
Content with holding his arm and listening to the sound of his voice, Rose leaned her head against his shoulder lightly as they walked before she thought about it. She smiled when John didn't stiffen from her affectionate gesture and she smiled widened as she noted the ladies in the streets glancing at them with smiles. For the times they were probably the picture of a happy courting couple, Rose paused at that thought and glanced up at John. He looked down at her and smiled, Rose smiled in return but couldn't help but wonder about him being human forever. She hadn't thought about it earlier, having assumed that the Doctor wouldn't want that but what if he did.
Tightening her grip on John's arm, Rose stared at the ground thinking over everything Martha had said. There was something nagging at the back of her mind that she just couldn't put her finger on. The appearance of Bad Wolf once again had her on edge and she hesitated to believe that everything was as it seemed.
"Rose, are you all right?" A soft voice called, bringing her back to the moment.
Looking up Rose met John's soft eyes, and he didn't even try to hide his concern and adoration for her. With a start, she realised how much she adored that and felt a flash of guilt for the though. In spite of the times, John didn't try to shield her from himself, he trusted her and let her into his life completely. Slowly Rose smiled and nodded.
"Yes John, I'm wonderful," she answered warmly.
Her smile must have conveyed something to him because a moment later he nodded and whispered, "I'm so glad I met you,"
Taking in his words, Rose ignored the twist in her stomach in favour of smiling in return.
"Me too," she answered honestly even though she was unsure exactly she meant to be addressing with that statement.
….
Grinning, Jenny entered the room she and Martha shared to find the girl nervously drumming her fingers on the table. Concern shining in her eyes, Jenny set down the tea tray in front of Martha and smiled at her.
"Mister Potter didn't want his tea today, there's enough for two," Jenny told her gently. Martha glanced up at her but didn't react. Jenny poured her a cuppa and set it down in front of her and sat down across from her. Sipping her tea, Jenny watched Martha carefully, "You look like you've lost your best friend Martha."
Giving a bitter laugh, Martha shook her head and answered, "I might have Jenny. I think I messed up."
Martha sighed and put her face in her hands as she fought back a panic attack. Jenny reached over and squeezed Martha's hand.
"Well you know you can turn to me Martha," Jenny told her gently. When the younger girl didn't say anything Jenny sighed, "All right then when you're ready," Jenny paused and was thoughtful for a moment. "Oh, this is about Mister Smith and Miss Rose." Nodding in sympathy, Jenny sat back in her chair and softly spoke, "Martha she's a nice woman, she'll do right by him. You know it never would have worked between you two."
"It's not that Jenny," Martha told her sadly. "It's not about them." She leaned on her fist and replied, "It doesn't matter really. I'm overreacting I'm sure of it."
Martha forced a smile that she knew Jenny didn't really believe, but the other woman was too sweet to push. Instead, Jenny nodded in understanding and began preparing their tea.
"Well then Miss Rose asked me to tell you that she'd like to speak with you," Jenny informed her gently.
"Did she say why?"
Shaking her head, Jenny sipped her tea and answered, "I'm afraid not Martha."
Jumping up from the table Martha straightened herself up. Her stomach churned nervously, but she also couldn't deny the flash of duelling fear and hope that the announcement caused.
"Is she back yet?" Martha asked urgently.
"I'm not sure," Jenny answered quickly before nodding to the tea tray. "Anyway drink your tea, we have to take around dinner soon."
Martha hesitated but sank back into her small chair. She accepted the cuppa from Jenny and savoured the sweet properly brewed tea that the servants didn't get very often. Her mind kept racing as she wondered what Rose wanted to talk about and she did her best not to think about it too much. Martha didn't know how much more disappointment she could take.
…
Rose tried not to move on the small sofa as she held in a giggle. Behind her sunlight was pouring into John's private room and she felt warm and very safe. This day was full of all kinds of surprises. In her experience with the Doctor, she had only ever seen him draw stick figures, but now John had her posing for him. She wasn't even sure how the topic had come about, but she risked glancing over at him.
"Don't move Rose," John scolded lightly, making Rose bite back a laugh. "I'm almost done."
"I believe you said that five minutes ago John."
"I mean it this time Rose."
"We'll see," Rose retorted with a smile tugging at her lips.
"Fine, but hold still," John huffed affectionately Tapping her foot to work out her nervous energy, Rose tried to stay otherwise still until John finally lowered the sketching book, "There finished, was that so bad?"
"Easy for you to say," Rose replied as he joined her on the sofa. "You could move." Glancing at the book in his hands, Rose asked softly, "Can I see it, John?"
John handed her the open book carefully and Rose lost the ability to breathe. It looked just like her, no doubt of that, but there was something in the soft lines of how he drew her face that made her heart clench. The lines were soft and gentle, capturing the curve of her cheek, her smiling mouth, long eyelashes and wisps of hair that had escaped her bun.
Looking up at John, Rose whispered, "It's beautiful John."
"The subject is beautiful," he told her gently, "I just drew what I see."
Starring up at him, Rose swallowed and tried not to cry as she whispered, "Not many have seen me like that."
She felt John brush some loose strand of hair back from her face and it took Rose a moment before she dared to look up at him. John's brown eyes were so warm and tender as he looked at her with completely open affection. Her heart beat rapidly and Rose couldn't move.
"Then they are blind," John breathed as he leaned forward.
Rose didn't even try to stop herself, didn't allow her fears and concerns over what would happen next to make her fight it. She met him halfway in a soft tender kiss. It lasted only a moment but when they parted, Rose gave John a brilliant smile which he returned.
He paused and tried to find words, "Rose I . . . " but at her smile, he gave up and pulled her closer to him.
Brushing his lips against hers, he let himself fall deeper into this kiss. John smiled against her lips as he felt her hand come to rest on his neck, brushing a few strands of his hair and in response, he curled his arm around Rose's waist. They were floating and something in the bad of his mind eased like an old pain suddenly gone. A sudden knock on the door went unheard to John, but Rose shifted in his arms suddenly, John, however, did not cease the kiss.
Martha paused after knocking and frowned at the soft sounds she was hearing before she opened the door. She blinked in surprise as the Doctor or rather John Smith suddenly pulled back from kissing bloody Rose Tyler. Lowering her eyes to hide the anger in them, Martha clenched her hands into fists.
"I'm sorry Mister Smith, I did knock," Martha forced out.
"Ah yes Martha, just put the tray down," John answered in a tight voice without looking at her.
Doing as she was instructed, Martha glanced up at Rose and was surprised by the soft apologetic look she found there. Looking away, Martha returned to the door and couldn't make herself look back at them.
"Will there be anything else Mister Smith?" Martha asked in as strong as voice as she could manage.
"No Martha, you may go," John answered with a loud sigh.
As the door closed, John rubbed the back of his neck and turned to Rose. She was blushing softly and looking towards the door with a guilty expression. He felt a flash of embarrassment on her behalf.
"I'm sorry about that Rose," he apologised quickly as he climbed to his feet.
Standing up, Rose shook her head and surprised him by covering his lips with a finger.
"Don't worry about it John," she assured him with a soft smile. "I'm sure I have things to do in the library seeing as I have left it unattended all afternoon." Seeing the flash of concern in his eyes, Rose leaned up and brushed her lips against his gently. Pulling back after a moment she smiled again and added, "I'll see you tomorrow John."
Martha closed her eyes tightly and forced herself to breathe, ignoring the tears running down to her face as she walked into the empty library. Part of her wanted to rush to her own room, but Jenny would be there. The library was thankfully empty with the boys all in class or outdoors.
Sitting down at one the table Martha licked her lips and whispered, "That wasn't on the list," Martha gasped. "You had to fall in love with a human and it wasn't me, I never even had a chance."
"I'm sorry," Martha looked up to see Rose standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry you had to see that, it wasn't fair to you." Rose paused before she said, "You and I need to talk."