AN: The vamps and wolves you recognize from The Twilight Series belong to S. Meyer.

The rest of the wolf pack, imprints, wolf kids, and pretty much every other character in this story belong to the talented yay4shanghai! You can find her on my page if you want to check out the rest of her captivating stories :) and check out the amazing spinoffs by AsagariMelody, dll10, liljenrocks, Guzhong, twihardcaligurl, intiMACYx33 and TwilightHeart21.

I am so sorry for the late update, but I have some personal things going on with my family right now, so between that and school I really don't have time for anything else. I will not promise speeding updates because that may be out of my control, but I promise to try my best to not make you guys wait so long.

Thanks for all the reviews, I got 56 for chapter 8 and that was crazy! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Please continue to do so ... and the italics in this chapter are flashbacks.

A big thanks to my beautiful and wonderful beta yay4shanghai for beta-ing this chapter and also being my friend, also to Jen and Dani who are fabulous :)

Nerves on End

My nerves were on edge, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, it was the most nerve wrecked I have been in like – ever.

"You need to calm down." Ethan had told me upon reaching the car and driving back home, but how the hell did he expect me to calm down when everything, everything I had kept hidden was about to blow up in my face.

Phil had left yesterday and I had spent the entire night and all of today staring at the phone just waiting for it to ring or worse for someone to pound on the door. Elena told me I was being pessimistic that maybe Phil wouldn't tell Solace about Kai, but I wasn't stupid. I knew Phil and I'd be damned to think that he wouldn't run to find Solace upon reaching La Push to tell him about the kid who called me "mommy" and looked ridiculously like him and I was sure that my whole kissing a vampire wouldn't go unsaid either.

I didn't think Solace would care if I was seeing a vampire, he didn't love me anymore. I wasn't his wife or friend anymore, so why would he? But I knew that if he found about Kai then he would rush here.

"Mommy, what's wrong?" Kai's voice broke me from nerve induced party as he stared at me with his beautiful brown eyes, so like his father's.

I tried to smile for his sake. "Nothing's wrong, baby. Why?"

His eyebrows furrowed and I knew he didn't believe me, I watched the creases in between his eyebrows and I wanted nothing more than to smooth them away, my baby should not have to worry about this. This shit was on me.

"I don't believe you. Are you worried about my real dad coming?" he asked, "he doesn't have to come mommy. I already have a dad – I don't need him." He assured me and it broke my heart. I was happy that William had come into my life and helped Kai feel like he was accepted and not an odd ball because his real father wasn't a part of his life, but it still hurt because Solace was incredible, and he would have been an amazing father. There was no doubt in my mind that Kai would have been dotted and loved like no other kid around and I had robbed him of ever having that chance.

"Kai, your dad is a great man, baby. I don't ever want to hear you say that you don't want to meet him, okay? He's your dad, without him you wouldn't be here," I explained gently, stroking his cheek.

He looked up at me, "all he did was send a picture to the stork!" Kai exclaimed.

I looked at him confused and he continued, "Emmett already explained it to me. If you want a baby, you send a letter and a picture of the mommy and daddy to the baby stork and you get a baby! That's all he did!" He screamed, breaking free from me and running to his backpack where he took out a small white envelope.

"Here, see – I already wrote the letter," he said as he shoved the letter in my hand. It was written in the beige lined paper I used to write in back in elementary school and I was shocked that they still used it.

Dear Mr. Stork,

My cousin Emmett told me I had to write to you if I wanted a baby sister or brother. My mommy is old and she needs to have a baby NOW! I want a brother to play with, but if I get a sister I promise to take really, really good care of her. She'll be pretty like my mom and Auntie Elena.

Kai Black (that's not my real last name, but I like it better than my real one)

I couldn't help but smile at the letter, but there was something that was bothering me, besides the fact my son thought I was old. I grabbed a pencil from the coffee table and erased the last line.

Kai gasped, "Mommy, why'd you do that?" he asked.

I handed him the pencil and the letter, "I love your last name Kai, Avery is a great last name." I told him sincerely. He hadn't met Solace yet and I was already worried that he was going to hate him. Kai sighed resigned and wrote Avery where I had previously erased the "Black".

"So mommy how long do you think it takes for the stork to give you a baby?"

I blinked, fuck.

"Kai, I don't know if that's going to be possible." I answered truthfully. I hadn't even thought about it. Another child seemed ludicrous to me, maybe it wouldn't if I was dating a human but I wasn't so it made everything so much more complicated and I wasn't sure I wanted another child. Growing up I had always dreamed of having a flock of kids like I had grown up with, but as I grew up the idea kind of fizzled. After my miscarriage I didn't think I could ever get pregnant, so when Kai came along it was like a blessing.

Kai pouted, "why not?"

I ruffled his hair, "Like you said I'm old." I teased. Kai wasn't having it, two little tears leaked out of his eyes. "Mommy, please I want a baby sister or brother, please!" he begged. William walked into the living room at that instant scooping Kai up and placing two kisses on his cheek.

"Don't cry kiddo. Trust me, we'll figure it out." He told Kai, winking in my direction before placing Kai on the floor. Kai cheered as he ran up to his room where I was sure that he was calling Emmett. He had just learned his Uncle Ethan's telephone number and even if Emmett didn't live more than fifty feet away he still called every chance he got.

"You shouldn't get his hopes up," I murmured going back to my vigilance as I stared at the phone.

William chuckled as he kneeled before me, cupping my face and kissing me gently on the lips. "You don't want to have a baby with me?" he asked, trailing kisses up and down my jaw.

"You know we can't," I moaned softly.

"Why not?" he grunted while his hands hiked up my lavender sundress.

"You're a – fuck," I breathed out, feeling his cold fingers travel under my lace thong and palm my mound.

"I don't care what I am. We can do whatever we want. If you want a baby, then let's do it," he told me, slowly inserting a finger inside of me.

My chest was rising at an uncontrollable pace, as he worked me with his hands, rubbing and pounding in and out of me.

"You want a baby?" I asked breathlessly as my fingers clutched his shirt.

He looked up at me with fiery eyes, "I want to spend forever with you, Amber. I want to start a family with you, me, Kai and if you want to have my baby," he smiled, "you'd make me that happiest man in the world."

I gulped as my body shook and released. William fixed my underwear and dress, "Say something," he begged, but I was speechless. I knew that starting a family with William would make me happy, but fuck I was so confused and worried and everything that I was anticipating to happen has me over the edge, I couldn't fucking think straight. I felt like I was going dam fucking insane!

"William, I can't do this right now." I cried, looking at him, hoping that he understood where I was coming from. I loved him, I just couldn't think or come to any conclusions right now, not when I felt like my world was about to explode.

William nodded, coming closer and kissing my cheek, "I understand, beautiful."

"When this is over, we'll talk it about, okay? I love you William, I love you so much and I would love to have your child, but not now – please not now." I told him, feeling the tears of desperation run down my cheek.

He smiled and wrapped me in his arms, "it's going to be okay, Amber. I'm here – I am never going to leave you. I promise."

"Mommy, Emmett says that he sent his letter yesterday and Auntie Elena screamed, that means it's soon. Remember she screamed when she found about Eva!" Kai cheered. I giggled, those damn stork letters were Elena's nightmare. She called them her "curse in a letter", now don't get me wrong Elena loves her children more than anything. She was the sweetest and most attentive mother any kid would dream of, but having three kids no more than two years apart from each other could be overwhelming.

Ethan was like our dad in many ways, an attentive father whose children were like his mini-imprints as my mother liked to refer to us. He was fun, caring, loving, and whenever his kids wanted or needed anything he was the first to cave. That's why Kai loved him so much, before William stepped in Ethan was his "go-to" man. Ethan was a sucker for kids and if he could have a whole little soccer team he would, but Elena always pulled him back to reality. Elena wanted more children, but not now. She wanted Eva to be older and for Emmett to get over his jokester phase, something I didn't think would ever happen.

I ate lunch with my boys and then went back to my staring contest with the cordless phone in front of me. Cordless phones were pretty much extinct now-a-days but Ethan and I still kept one at our houses for emergencies. William had taken Kai to the park so I was alone to contemplate my thoughts. Funny thing was I kept having flashbacks, of none other than Solace.

"Why are you sad? You're too cute to be sad." Had been the first thing I had asked him on the first of many dinners he would eventually spend with my family.

"I am not sad." He had answered but I didn't believe him.

"Liars don't get dessert and Daddy made Annie's favorite cupcakes tonight, so you can't lie." I chided with a grin. It was my mother's way of punishment. If you lie - no dessert. Ethan stopped getting cupcakes when he started seeing Trisha behind everyone's back. Taylor the goody two shoes always got cupcakes and Annie was too damn adorable to ever refuse one too and when she did say a little white lie I was the first one to steal one for her.

"I don't like cupcakes very much." He smiled at me.

I was wearing my Cinderella costume, I had inherited it from Trisha ages ago, back when I liked her and I was in the phase where I lived in my own fairytale. I tended to walk around the house with my costume and shiny tiara.

"How could you not like cupcakes! Cupcakes are like the best thing ever – second to doughnuts, because I LOVE doughnuts. I think that you shouldn't lie, so that then you can get a cupcake and then give it to me, and then I can have … TWO – and I'll share with Annie when Brady's not looking." I said jumping up and down and making sure that my tiara wouldn't fall off because then my whole costume would have gone to waste.

Solace laughed, it was the first time I had seen him laugh and it made me smile. I had known Solace my entire life, he had always been a person in the background but then he became center stage and turned my world upside down.

"You're cute." He had told me and I don't remember ever having been happier in my short life.

He had given me his cupcake that night and I remember sharing it with Annie and telling her how I knew I was in love. She was three and most likely didn't understand anything I was telling her but she nodded and giggled happily at my expense all while spreading frosting all over her cute face, I had to use a wipe to wash it away before Brady found us. We had hidden in my mom's master closet and in the dark I talked about Solace and she listened.

The next night I had waltzed into the kitchen and sat on the table right next to Solace. He smiled down at me and when dinner was over, he handed me his cupcake again and that night Annie and I hid in the bathroom, while Brady looked all over for her.

It passed like that for weeks. He stopped giving me cupcakes and started spending more time with me. He'd show up unannounced and take me to the beach or park, wherever I wanted to go. I started making handbooks and using the computer. We'd sit on the beach on the hood of his car and I'd tell him about our wedding and how we were going to get married. He would humor me and let me rest my head on his chest when we took naps in my backyard. With his presence he had made me happier than I had ever been before.

I groaned coming back to reality, my cheeks were wet and I hated looking back at my life and knowing that he is part of every single special memory I ever experienced. It was like a slide show, my own little video of the life I used to have and the life I was currently living.

Every time I closed my eyes, I would see their faces. It was just me, Solace and William. Both men on either side of me. I knew it was a dream because the way Solace was looking at me, with the pure consuming love was one that I could only imagine. It could only exist in my dreams.

They were two driving forces. My body was getting pulled towards both directions.

I could see Solace and our children, Kai and a younger one, a little girl with black hair and an older one running around us. I knew the older one had to be my baby boy, the baby boy I never met. He looked like Kai but had my mother's maroon-flecked eyes. I felt warm arms wrap around my waist and I fell back towards the comforting embrace that had once been mine. His lips were on my neck and I could faintly hear his declarations of love.

"I love you so much, Princess." I heard Solace's husky voice breath out and then like mist when the sun rose, it was gone.

My babies faded away, except Kai who walked over to me and grabbed my hand. I turned around and followed him.

"Mommy, look it's Daddy." He told me, letting go off my hand and running forward.

And there he was, my William. He was smiling at me and then pushing a little girl in front of him from where she was hiding behind his legs.

She was an angel, light copper skin, flowing black curls, pouty pink lips and the most captivating green eyes. William bent down and whispered in her ear. She looked up at me and squealed the sweetest sound as she ran to me.

I bent down and opened my arms up wide. She ran into them and wrapped her arms around my neck. I held her tight, pressed her close to my body and marveled at her scent, an intoxicating mixture of vanilla and caramel.

She pulled away and smiled, "Mommy," she pointed at me. I looked up at William and he nodded at me. Kai was now by our side looking at the beautiful girl in amazement.

I opened my eyes and looked around, it was dark the sun had gone down and I realized that I had fallen asleep. My heart was pounding against my chest and my breathing was out of control. I got up and walked to the kitchen. I filled up a glass with water and drank it slowly, trying in vain to calm myself down.

"Mommy, we're back!" Kai shouted out running into the kitchen. His hair was ruffled and cheeks were tinted with the most adorable pink flush.

William walked in behind Kai and leaned against the curved entryway.

"How was the park?" I asked Kai, kissing the top of his head.

Kai grinned, "it was awesome! Mommy, next time you HAVE to come with us."

I smiled, "I will sweetheart – now go and take a shower." Kai nodded and the sprinted up the stairs.

William walked over and hugged me, "I missed you today."

"I'm sorry, I just don't feel right." I answered, wrapping my arms tight around his waist.

"It's going to be fine, Amber."

"I hope so, William. I am scared, I am so scared, what if he tries to take Kai away from me?" I cried, "what if he takes my baby away?!" my body fell against his as the heaves racked my frame.

William stroked my hair and placed kisses on the top of my head, "I won't let that happen. I'm going to keep us together, Amber." He pulled away and cupped my face so that I was staring straight into his clear green eyes. "I won't let anyone tear us apart, beautiful. No one." He vowed.

"I am so scared," I whispered just as the phone rang and my heart stopped. William placed a kiss on the top of my head and watched me as I raced to the phone.

"Hello?" I answered my voice shaking.

"Fuck, thank god you answered!" Annie sighed in relief.

"Annie, what's going on?" I asked even though I knew perfectly well what was happening.

"He knows, Amber, he knows." Annie told me, I closed my eyes as I heard my sister let out a small cry. My pain was hers, as hers was mine.

I took a deep breath, "I am going to hang up Annie just in case he calls, okay?" I told her trying to keep my composure. I was thankful that Kai was in the shower.

William was sitting next to me, his hand resting securely on my lap.

"I love you Amber." Annie whispered.

"I love you too Annie, I'll talk to you later." I assured her.

I placed the phone back on the receiver and waited. I stared in silence, the only thing I could hear was my erratic heart ringing in my ears and the shower on upstairs.

Brrrng. Brrrrnnng. Brrrrnnng.

I jumped.

"Calm down, baby." William whispered in my ear but I felt like I was hyperventilating. The air was sucked out of my lungs and the room spun around me.

Brrrng. Brrrrnnng. Brrrrnnng.

I reached over with my shaking hands and answered.

"Hello?"

"Tell me it's not true Princess and I'll believe you." His voice was pleading, as if he wanted me to lie, but I couldn't not now after everything.

"His name is Solace Kai Avery, he's five." I whispered, silent tears streaming down my cheeks as William rubbed my back. Silence. Minutes though it felt like hours of silence before I heard him sob and I collapsed into William's arms.

"How could-- how could you do this to me?" He asked as if he were begging for an answer that could possibly make up for the five lost years. There wasn't one.

"What is that love you the most about me, Solace?" I asked him as I rested my head on his shoulder. He stroked my hair as the sun rose above us, signaling the end of the calm night and the rise of a new exciting day with my Solace.

A small smile formed on his lips as he looked down at me, "I love that you would never lie to me," he answered placing a kiss on my cheek. My cheek flushed beneath his hot, soft lips.

I nodded and grinned up at him, "I would never lie to you! You're my best friend, best friends tell each other everything!" I answered, rising up on my knees and grabbing his face in between my small hands.

He chuckled as I placed playful kisses all over his face, "you're my best friend too, Princess."

I grinned, "I love you Solace forever and ever AND ever!" I proclaimed.

He kissed the tip of my nose, "I'll love you too Princess."