Author's note: Thank you very much for all the reviews (thank you, Purdueek, I'm really touched by your words).

December, 10th

The lounge was cozy, not too crowded. Jazz played in the background but Maura preferred to focus on the bubbles of her glass of champagne instead. The music reminded her of the gala she had attended with Jane and it was certainly not the kind of thoughts she wanted to have tonight.

Perhaps she should have chosen a place that offered more intimacy, like her own house. It hadn't crossed her mind when she had decided to invite Emmanuelle for a drink. She had immediately thought about this lounge club by Boston Harbor. It seemed to suit.

Suit what?

She smiled at Emmanuelle. The artist was walking back to the table, her glass of champagne in hand. She had politely accepted to strike the pose with the owner of the lounge as a souvenir to her presence here tonight. The request had surprised Maura. She hadn't assumed that Emmanuelle could be so famous. Who was to blame though? The Bostonian nightlife had very little to do with the social sphere Maura usually knew.

"I'm sorry for that. Emilio is nice though, very nice."

Maura nodded but didn't reply. She felt oddly intimidated by Emmanuelle. They had enjoyed a nice evening at the artist's art gallery the evening before but something was different tonight. They were outside, in a foreign world, and the context seemed to suddenly change the game rules much to Maura's despair.

Emmanuelle was adorable and Maura enjoyed her presence a lot but it wasn't enough to make her feel at ease. Not there.

She had chosen a lounge club she barely knew, a place that she could consider as neutral enough. This way she wouldn't think about Jane, about all the things that had happened lately between the two of them. Going out with Emmanuelle was different. It was important to keep alive this distinction.

"Maybe I should ask you for a photograph too."

Emmanuelle burst out laughing. She leaned her head backwards and let her voice rise with an impressive strength. Maura felt hypnotized by it. There was something appealing about this woman, something delicate and sweet.

Yet oddly authoritative.

"How's your wrist?" Emmanuelle motioned Maura's forearm. "I see you've finally got rid of the tape... I'm glad the bone wasn't broken nor anything."

Barely twenty-four hours had passed by since they had seen each other but it felt a lot longer to Maura. She nonetheless tried to focus on the conversation and swept away in silence whatever questions kept on twirling in her head. She nodded then took a sip of her champagne.

"I don't even have a bruise. Just on time for our tradi-..." She swallowed back the rest of her sentence right away as she noticed that everything had probably been implicitly cancelled. "It was just a little incident... I don't regret it though. We wouldn't have met otherwise."

Emmanuelle didn't have to know about her and Jane's Christmas rituals.

She was being bold, too much perhaps. She hadn't flirted with anyone in a while and the truth was that she wasn't sure it was such a good idea all in all. Emmanuelle was married but she and her husband had put an end to their marriage a year earlier. They simply hadn't taken the time yet to officialize their separation by a divorce. The sculptor had had a few encounters since then but nothing serious. Maura had taken it as a sign. It could help the confusion that was playing in her mind.

"Indeed." Emmanuelle looked down at her glass of champagne and let her thumb brush the edge of it. Her smile was still eloquent but it looked bitter now; bittersweet. "Everything happens for a reason, hmm?"

Maura wasn't necessarily fond of so-called existential talks but she did her best to not roll her eyes nor throw herself in a diatribe towards everything that went against science. The moment wasn't appropriate for that. She chose to move a bit closer to Emmanuelle instead with a discreet fluidity that almost passed unnoticed. She didn't feel particularly confident but her curiosity was piqued.

She needed to do something – something out of the ordinary – to ease her mind and soothe her fears. It wasn't nice for Emmanuelle but maybe she wasn't looking for anything serious either. As long as Maura made herself clear then she didn't have to feel sorry.

"I love your eyes." Maura ran her tongue over her lips and swallowed hard. Her voice was shaking, and she didn't know why. Something hurt in her throat. "I've been thinking a lot about you."

It wasn't a lie. She honestly had spent most of the day thinking about the artist. She simply wasn't sure it had anything to do with what she was doing now. Her behavior didn't fit, she could feel it. It was a matter of circumstances. A stupid timing.

Her fingertips brushed Emmanuelle's knee before sliding up along her thigh. Since the woman didn't oppose any resistance whatsoever, Maura leaned over and was about to capture the sculptor's lips in an uncertain kiss when Emmanuelle kindly put some distance between the two of them.

A mysterious smile lit up her features.

"Where is she?" Emmanuelle sounded calm, in control of the situation. She didn't look hurt nor angry. Perhaps an ounce of bitterness was still embracing her face but it wasn't strong enough to mean anything. "I'm not her and I'll never be."

The snort Maura wanted to use never hit the air. She didn't have the strength to lie, not about this. It wasn't fair to Emmanuelle. It wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to Jane.

"I don't know. Why do you ask?"

On Thursday night, Jane usually went for a drink with Frost and Korsak at the Dirty Robber. They talked for hours and played darts while sharing a couple of pints. Maura checked the large clock that hung on the wall, on her right.

It was quite late though, Jane was probably back home by now.

"I won't let you do that." Emmanuelle set down her glass of champagne on the table and pretended to sweep away an invisible speck of dust on her skirt. She locked her eyes with Maura's hazel ones and smiled. "I like you a lot, Maura, and maybe under other circumstances I would invite you home to spend the night with me but... We both know it won't happen and you know why."

Alright. The answer slightly bruised Maura's ego. She hadn't flirted with anyone in months and now that she tried, the object of her desire turned her down. It was a bit humiliating even if Emmanuelle had been kind.

"But..."

Except not a single word came out. Maura found herself unable to oppose anything to what Emmanuelle had just implied. It made her feel bad.

"You should see your eyes when you talk about her. They sparkle of delight. I don't know what happened between the two of you and if I can help then I'll gladly do it but don't do to yourself more harm than what you've already done, Maura... It won't solve anything at all."

The pop of a bottle of champagne resounded loudly in Maura's back. The sound briefly caught her attention. Some people were partying. Why couldn't she join their lightness for a while? The atmosphere at her table had suddenly turned heavy. She wasn't sure she had what it took to handle it.

"You're still wearing the necklace she offered you."

Emmanuelle's ironical laugh didn't hurt. It simply highlighted a truth Maura didn't know how to face. She brought a hand to her neck and brushed the jewel before looking down at her lap.

She felt a bit stupid now. Spending the night with Emmanuelle was still tempting, after all she hadn't shared a bed with a woman in years, but her wisdom had just started a fight against her stubbornness. She hated when it happened.

"Jane is my friend. There is nothing else between her and I." Even her tone of voice betrayed her vain efforts to talk. The shadows of defeat rushed to press down on her shoulders and she closed her eyes to concentrate anew. "I know you aren't her... You aren't supposed to be her. You are supposed to be yourself. I don't want you to be her. Nobody can be Jane but her."

The last time Maura had felt so ridiculous, she was twelve years old and had just told her father that she was a grown-up person now; that he was supposed to address her like the adult she was. Except at almost forty years old, the high-pitched tone of her voice was embarrassing.

"Would you like to go to some quieter place?" Emmanuelle rolled her eyes. "Don't think this is an invitation for anything more than just a honest talk. Let's face it... This place is nice but not really appropriate for... For what's going on now."

Maura wrinkled her nose at first but finally nodded in approval. She wasn't particularly eager to have a heartful conversation with Emmanuelle but she wasn't at ease either at the lounge club.

Besides she needed some fresh air: the icy wind of December would bring her back a semblance of logic.

Perhaps.

They left the club and walked in the darkness of the night. In silence. Emmanuelle didn't keep any reasonable distance with Maura – their arms kept on brushing each other – but the artist was nonetheless conscious that it was just fine.

"I'm sorry..." Maura's apologies turned out to be rather inaudible. She meant them though. Emmanuelle had probably assumed that something would happen, something else than a talk about a third party. She had ruined it all with a few things she didn't really control. "There's a reason why very few people want to have something to do with my life."

Amount of days left: sixteen.