NOTE: I realized as I was writing this that this is starting to come off a bit like wincest. If it starts to go that way, I'll post any 'wincest' type things as a separate story and keep this one as just familial affection, ok? Cuz I really do want this to be just plain brotherly affection.

Family Business

Chapter 10 - Waffles and Headaches

Adam guessed that he probably looked a little deranged. The smile that he was trying to contain was so strong it was almost painful. It pressed against the back of his teeth, pushing them against his lips which were pulled tight into an awkward grimace. His fork was clenched in his fist and trembled. But none of this was scrutinized because Sam was in the bathroom, Bobby hadn't shown up yet, and Dean was flirting with the waitress over at the counter. He was the only one left in the booth (aside from Lenny who was sitting next to him), and he had fit himself into the corner.

As the urge to grin like a loon finally subsided his whole body relaxed, his muscles uncoiling and he steadily ate another few bites of his waffles. He hadn't even been prompted to order the waffles he was eating slowly but surely, he'd just asked for them. He even liked the taste of them. Adam had ordered something that he actually wanted. The thought that he could want something and actually ask for it, without hesitation, was so foreign to him that he felt almost detached from the act. It was like it wasn't him, Adam Milligan, who had ordered these waffles. It had been someone else. He'd thought of telling Dean this startling revelation only to realize how silly it might sound, and that he really wouldn't understand. Sam might understand, but he might also worry. That left Bobby, and Adam always felt awkward about starting conversations with Bobby, so instead he resolved to tell Lenny about it later.

He was relatively calm for the moment, his muscles loose and cooperative. Then Dean sat down next to him, hoisting Lenny off of the seat and putting him onto the table. He threw his arm up onto the booth's backrest, slouching down. Adam could hear his boots propping up on the cushion opposite them, and his muscles seized up as Dean ruffled his hair. The grin almost burst onto his face, and to keep it inside he had to bite the inside of his cheek hard. His fork hand shook sporadically but slowed down to a mild twitch. He was rigid again, and Adam wished he could be mad, or depressed, or blank even. Anything was better than the euphoria he was trying to hold back. It was like tying a pebble to bumper of the impala and hoping it would slow the car down. Just as futile as it was comical.

"Hey," Dean started, his voice unexpectedly close, "what's going on in there, huh?"

Dean scooted closer, so that Adam's shoulder was jabbing into his brother's armpit, and he could easily fall against him and relax. But that seemed like something he would do in a happy-go-lucky dream world where everything was perfect and without reprimand, something that he would only do drunk or stupid or both.

Waking up engulfed in Dean's arms that morning seemed like a far away dream. Even though it was the cause for his spasmodic behavior now, it still felt as if it hadn't happened. He'd been peacefully asleep, curled up in the fetal position. He had his fingers hooked around Dean's collar bone, and his feet flat against his hips, knees on his ribs. Adam's face was smothered against his sternum, and thick, muscled arms were wrapped around him like a shield and a blanket. Then the bathroom door had shut and the sound had woken them both up suddenly. Dean had groggily dragged his forehead down the side of Adam's face and released him, rolling onto his back and then off the bed with a thud. A moment later, as if the whole thing was perfectly normal, the three brothers went about their morning routine.

When Adam still hadn't answered or looked at him, Dean poked him in the side of the head with his left hand, the hand that was attached to the arm that was draped around his shoulders, that smelled like leather, and the impala, and a cologne that was probably too heavy...and damnit he was so close-

"Kid..."

"I'm ok," Adam bit out, the grin jumping onto his face for a split second before he wrestled it down again, "I'm actually...really..."

"Am I interrupting something?" Bobby's voice inquired, just the right amount of subterfuge lacing his words.

Dean's head snapped up from Adam's shoulder, and his arm was drawn back to hang over the side of the booth behind them. Suddenly Adam felt a breath rush out of him, he could breathe. That must have been what was making the stars appear around the edges of his eyes. He hadn't been breathing? Adam started poking at his waffles some more. He didn't trust himself to talk so he just filled his mouth with syrup and baked goods. Adam watched Bobby shove Dean's boots off of the seat and sit down in their place. Lenny had been sitting patiently and obediently on the table top for the past several minutes, and upon Bobby's arrival had turned around and pranced towards him excitedly. Bobby picked him up off the table and set him down on the seat next to him.

"You shouldn't put the puppy up on the table, that's just unsanitary," Bobby scolded.

Dean shrugged, and Adam swallowed his mouthful and quickly reloaded. Sam appeared finally, sitting down on Dean's other side, causing him to scoot closer to Adam who in turn scooted towards the wall. Bobby flagged down a waitress and ordered his breakfast, Sam and Dean doing the same. Adam had his food given to him at a surprising speed because the waitress had remembered him from the other day, when he hadn't ordered a thing. She couldn't have been a few years older than him and still she reacted towards his malnourished appearance like a mother hen and got his order out of the kitchen faster than he thought was really necessary.

"So, what's this I hear about you three tracking down our necromancer?"

Dean supplied the story, sparing Adam the trouble of repeating it. The waitress returned with coffee for Adam's older brothers and pseudo-uncle, and Dean got a chance to flirt with her some more. Adam felt vaguely irritated at the skeezy tone that flooded his older brother's voice, and even more agitated that it seemed to work. He saw the escape from the troubling, overwhelming joy in this needling annoyance. It was a relief to have a reason to be displeased rather than the opposite, and he honed in on the feeling. He picked at it like a scab, rubbing in dirt and and gravel, inflaming and infecting the wound that had really been just a scratch. By the time he'd finished his breakfast a few minutes later, he felt far more comfortable wallowing in his unmitigated and rather senseless vexation. He could repress anger far easier, and soon his face was blank, and his eyes unfocused.

"This doesn't make sense," Bobby told them after gulping down some caffeine, "a necromancer like this, she's been doing business a long time, and she's probably run into hunters before."

"So you think it's a trap, somehow?"

"That or the dumbest thing she's ever going to do."

Dean's face scrunched up in confusion, "But why would she set up a trap for us? How would she know we were hunters, and why wouldn't she just leave town like usual?"

"I don't know, I just don't think she'd walk up to a hunter and let them in on the fact that she raises the dead as her day job."

Adam sipped at his water and raised an eyebrow at Bobby, "But she wasn't talking to Dean or Sam, she was talking to me."

"And what do you think we've been molding ya into these past few months, boy?" Bobby gruffed, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, I know, but I mean-"

"She probably didn't know he was a hunter," Dean explained for him.

Sam nodded, "He doesn't look like one, necessarily."

"So you think that she really did just ask the wrong person?"

"Looks that way," Adam mumbled, latching back onto the straw in his water glass.

"So, all we have to do is have Adam show up at the bar tonight to make a deal with her, we gank her, drag her back to the motel, find out where her altar is, and happily ever after," Dean concluded.

"Sounds like a plan," Bobby agreed.

Adam didn't mind being bait so much as he did having to talk to Amanda again. He really didn't like her. She was persistent and she asked all the right questions and pushed all the right buttons. She had him frothing at the mouth in a few minutes, and not just inwardly, it was showing on his face. That just made him hate her more. Then, after having worked himself up over the thought of being in the same room as Amanda, the waitress, Linda, arrived with their food. She passed out the orders with a perky smile, and Adam noticed that since they'd last seen her, her uniform blouse had been unbuttoned just enough to reveal that much more cleavage. Dean smiled at her and winked.

Adam shot her a glare, not really caring if she noticed. She flinched, and her hand flew to her forehead, as if someone had hit her. Dean asked her if she was okay, still with that same damn charming smile.

"Oh, I'm...ow, sorry, I dunno what's wrong with me, I just got this migraine all of a sudden," her face screwed up in agony and she drifted away from their table. Adam heard her call to a co-worker, asking her to take over her station for a few minutes, and she disappeared into the kitchen.

Adam felt a tad smug, if not a bit confused at how well timed that migraine had been. He found Lenny was looking at him over the table, his paws up on the edge, and he could hear his tail wagging.

"Hey Bobby," Adam asked, "you mind passing Lenny over here?"

"Sure," Bobby agreed, scooting Adam's empty plate aside and picking the boisterous puppy up and handing him over.

Adam took him and set him in his lap, petting him contentedly. When he looked up again to thank Bobby he found his pseudo-uncle giving him a look that made him distinctly uncomfortable. It was a look that said he knew what Adam had done, but what he'd done, not even Adam knew.

"That was weird," Sam commented while he dug into his eggs benedict, "I hope she's ok."

"Yeah, me too, I totally was gonna get lucky with her," Dean added.

Sam smacked him, and Dean hit him back, and Bobby kicked them both in the shins, "No hitting, or at least not inside. Go rassle on the pavement."

His brothers settled down and ate their breakfast, and Adam reached down under the table for his backpack, which was sitting between his feet. He dug around inside for the things he needed to make Lenny's breakfast and pulled them out. Adam occupied himself with making a bit of puppy-mash for Lenny and letting him eat, despite Dean's protests that he was eating and he didn't appreciate the smell of dog kibble. Adam ignored him dutifully, and once his puppy was done eating, he forced his brothers out of the booth so he could take him outside.

Adam took his backpack with him and after Lenny had finished his business, sat down on the curb outside the diner. He chose to wait out there for his brothers and Bobby to eat the rest of their breakfast. Lenny was leashed, and the handle was looped securely around Adam's wrist. He ran around him in loops and all around the sidewalk nearby, always at the end of his rope, bounding and playing and snarling at anything that moved. Adam let him run, knowing that it would wear him out eventually.

After a while the doors to the diner opened and his family came out, and Dean looked all too pleased with himself. He was fiddling with a peace of paper, and Adam just knew that it had 'Linda's name and number on it.

"Bobby, you mind taking these crazy kids back to the motel? We've got the rest of the day to kill, since this necromancer's coming tonight, and I'm gonna take Linda home and take good care of her," Dean drawled.

"Yeah, yeah, don't forget you're working," Bobby grumbled, waving Adam over, and Sam just scoffed.

Dean wandered back into the diner. Adam looked up at Bobby and asked what that was about, even though he had an inkling already what the answer would be.

"Linda's not feeling too well so she's taking the rest of the day off, and Don Juan in there is gonna give her a ride home and pander to the invalid's every whim," Bobby rolled his eyes, "now c'mon, get in."

Adam stood up and tugged Lenny in the direction of Bobby's old junker car. He clambered into the backseat while Sam of course claimed shotgun. It was an unspoken arrangement that he never questioned because it wasn't all that important to him.

As they pulled out the parking lot, Adam glanced out the back window at the front doors of the diner where Dean walked out with Linda on his arm. He eyed her disdainfully, feeling somewhat surprised by how much he hated her. He had no reason to, she certainly hadn't done anything to him. But suddenly, just before they turned the corner and Dean and his prize faded out of sight, he saw Linda collapse, falling to the ground, Dean just barely catching her in time. Adam's eyes widened and he turned around, facing the front, spooked. He also felt somewhat guilty but he wasn't sure why.

When they pulled into the motel parking lot and parked, closer to Bobby's room than theirs, Adam was more than a little rattled. Had he done something to that woman? He hadn't meant to. How could he, anyways? All he did was glare at her, and find her mildly annoying, and then he even felt bad for thinking of her that way. But still, first her head started hurting when he looked at her wrongly, and then when he glared at her out the car's rear window, she fell down. She probably fainted. Panic coursed through him at the thought of maybe having killed her, and he hoped that she was okay.

Adam got out of the car, pulling his backpack onto his shoulder and helping Lenny down onto the asphalt. He shut the car door and followed Sam to their room. They thanked Bobby for driving them back, and both went into the room. Adam unhooked Lenny from his leash and fell down onto the bed, kicking off his shoes as he climbed onto it more fully. His head was wrapped around the idea that he'd hurt Linda and he couldn't figure out how, and occasionally images of Dean flirting with, and smiling and smirking and winking at her filtered in too. All he wanted was for all those thoughts to go away, and to take a nap until it was bait time. He wanted to finish this case, and get out of this town. Adam sighed, and listened to his brother move around the room. The familiar sounds lulled him, and he slowly drifted off.

He was probably asleep for all of an hour before their door was unlocked and roughly thrown open and then shut. Adam looked up and saw a very displeased Dean taking off his shoes and crashing onto the other bed. Sam asked him what was wrong and Dean explained how Linda had passed out the moment they'd left, and he ended up having a co worker take her home. He'd been so miffed at having still missed out on getting some, that he'd drove around for a while, grabbed a beer and then come back to the motel.

Adam thought this would really not be a good time to bring up the fact that Linda passing out might have been his fault, so he kept it to himself. Inwardly he was greatly relieved that he hadn't killed her. Though he wasn't sure that any of her strange and rather sudden problems had really been his fault. Either way he tried to go back to sleep. But his brother's voices shot back and forth, and they kept him awake.

"Just because you didn't get to sleep with the waitress doesn't mean I have to go and get you pie and candy to make you feel better."

"Dude, it totally does."

"What? Why?"

"Because you're my brother, you're supposed to take care of me in my time of suffering."

"You're not suffering, you're whining, there's a difference."

"PIE!" Dean shouted childishly.

"Whatever."

Adam lifted his head barely and saw Sam snatch the keys to the impala out of Dean's hand and walk out the door. He settled down again, and was about to try again when-

"Are you ever going to look at me?"

Adam's eyes opened and he stared incredulously at Dean, "...what?"

"There we go," Dean smirked, "now you gonna tell me why you were freakin' the hell out at breakfast?"

Adam was scared for a moment, thinking that Dean had noticed him glaring at Linda, and had made the connection and thought he was a horrible person. But then, he realized that Dean meant his spasming and twitching from when he'd been far too happy while eating his waffles. Of course, thinking about that reminded him of the feeling and then he was thinking about what spawned it, and then he was happy again. He tensed up and felt extraordinarily exasperated.

"Oh, you're making the face again, so at least you're listening to me," Dean teased.

It felt like the grin was trying to punch through his gritted teeth and it hurt more than he figured it should. He was staring at the blanket, and he was too focused on holding down the troublesome feeling and so he hadn't noticed Dean get up off the other bed and come to sit on the edge of his. Then Dean poked him in the stomach and Adam jerked away, his eyes landing on his brother's face immediately. Dean had that awkward, worried look in his eyes again.

"I'm fine," Adam told him adamantly, though his voice was shaky from the effort of slowly failing repression, "I'm just..."

"...what?"

Adam chewed on the word, finding it bitter tasting and he stuck to the roof of his mouth, unwilling to be said. Why was this so hard? He didn't even know anymore, and wasn't sure if he had ever really known the reasoning.

"...happy."

Dean's eyes narrowed and his mouth twisted in that way that told Adam he was really lost.

"You're...happy?"

Adam nodded awkwardly, "I wish I wasn't."

"Wait, no, I'm lost here," Dean held up a hand, as if he could pause the world around him and give himself time to think, "so you twitching and looking like you got your junk shot off, that's you being happy?"

Adam felt the blush on his face so strongly that he hid the lower half of his face behind his hands. Dean shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

"...well ok, that's good to know...for future reference, I guess."

"I'm sorry," Adam offered, "I just don't like being this happy, it's really hard to hold back."

"So don't!" Dean blurted, his voice so loud that it startled Adam.

"It's not that easy..."

"Why not?"

"I dunno."

Dean rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead wearily, "Okay, fine, whatever. What brought on this painful looking fit of joy anyways?"

Adam tried to curl up but his knees ran into Dean and so he pulled them back quickly. He shook his head and wanted to cover up his whole face but decided that made him look too much like a little kid. His whole body sighed, and Dean grumbled in annoyance.

"Kid, look, we don't have all day, as luck would have it, Sam would actually be prompt this one time out of a million and-"

"This morning..." Adam interjected painfully, "when I woke up."

He thought his muscles had been aching and stiff before, now they were like cement. He couldn't move if he tried, and he wanted to sink through the bed and then through the floor. Or just to disappear maybe. That would be nice. Dean faltered, and Adam thought that maybe he should have stayed quiet and let Dean ramble. Even if it pissed him off, it would be better than him never again coming within a few feet of him.

"Oh," he said, finally.

"...yeah," Adam mumbled lamely.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"That's it?"

Adam glanced up at him reflexively at the surprise, and noticed that Dean was smirking at him, not looking awkward in the slightest. Mostly he just appeared to be incredibly entertained. Suddenly Dean clambered up onto the bed, on all fours he leant over him, and then, fell on him. Adam was squished between his brother and the mattress and eventually he rolled onto his back to try and breathe better. Dean turned them over onto their sides, and Adam once again had his face pressed against Dean's chest, as it had been that morning. His arms wrapped around him, and Adam tried to breathe. It wasn't that he was being held too tightly, but rather, there was something about the wakeful proximity that threw his involuntary functions out the window. He just forgot to breathe.

Dean pulled away after a few minutes to get a good look on his face, and Adam managed to let out a breath and gulp in fresh air.

"You ok...?"

"Fine," Adam quipped, and broken as it was, a grin petered out onto his face and stayed. It didn't disappear within a few minutes, and it didn't hurt hiding in his mouth. Instead it was out there for anyone to see. It was odd, and he felt extremely vulnerable.

"You look like you're scared shitless," Dean told him bluntly.

"I'm just...I...I haven't," Adam stuttered, mindless of how his hands tangled in Dean's t-shirt, "I don't know why it's this hard for me."

"Being happy?"

"Yeah, I don't get it. I'm happy, and I want to smile so bad and it hurts, but I can't, and then when you were asking me earlier, and you were so close I forgot to breathe," Adam rambled, "who forgets to breathe? Isn't it involuntary? So we shouldn't forget, but I don't know what's wrong with me-"

"I dunno, either, kid, but we'll figure something out, and whatever it is, we'll fix it, alright?"

"Okay."

They were quiet for a moment, and Dean had pulled him closer again, and Adam felt warm and comfortable. Every time he felt a wave of euphoria like from earlier, instead of biting it back he let it show on his face, and he slowly relaxed, little by little. When he was almost boneless in Dean's arms, his brother's voice cut through the quiet making him jump.

"Wait, did you say you forgot to breathe?" Dean clarified, as if he'd just heard him.

"Huh? Yeah..."

"Why? And how do you do that?"

"I dunno...I was trying to hold back and you kept asking me things, and you were really close, and I couldn't think and answer questions and hold back at the same time and I guess I just stopped breathing...I didn't notice until you moved away and all my breath came out."

Dean didn't say anything to that, and instead held him tight. Adam shifted in his grip, assuming the same position that he'd woken up in earlier. It was strange finding Dean's collar bone through his shirt, but once he had, he curled his fingers around it, and Dean shivered reflexively. Adam's forehead fell forward a fraction of an inch and he could feel Dean's heartbeat.

"...comfortable, cuddles?"

Adam marveled at how the nickname didn't bother him at all, "Mmhmm."

Dean laughed, and Adam grinned without thinking.