Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters... They belong to the amazing Louise Rennison.
10. Jazzy the Obvious
12:10 pm
'Gee... You're late.' Thank you, Jazzy the Obvious.
'Sorry. I slept in.' Rosie raised an eyebrow.
'Or Kittykat couldn't say TTFN to Mr. Laugh.'
'Actually, Mr. Laugh left at six o'clock this morning... He has a footie match today.'
6 minutes later
In Boots trying on lippy. I want some neutral lippy, so Hawkeye doesn't catch me wearing it at Stalag 14 on Wednesday.
Jools and Mabs were painting her nails with the tester pots.
1 minute later
RoRo looks ridiculous in black lippy. She and Sven are going trick or treating Monday night, she's going to be a witch. That's vair normalosity for RoRo. Sven's going as a mad Viking, so no change there.
2 minutes later
Maybe I should ask Dave to come trick or treating with me.
Davey... Can we go trick or treating on Monday?
I wasn't sure went Dave's footie game ended, so I wasn't expecting a reply straight away.
(Vair Late) Lunch in Luigi's, 3:00 pm
Drinking cappuccinos and eating cupcakes topped in whip cream.
1 minute later
Laughing like loons.
We all have milky moustaches and Jazzy's got whip cream on her nose.
'So, Jools... Did you and Rollo make up?' Jools smiled.
'We're marvy: he said he'd wait for me.'
A group 'awww' from the rest of the Ace Gang, made Jools go bright red.
'Tom and I are waiting until our wedding night. It's so tres romantic.'
1 minute later
Choking on my cappuccino.
'Gee... Are you alright?'
1 minute later
The Viking bride-to-be just wacked me around the back.
It didn't help.
'I'm fine; it just went down the whole oley.'
3 minutes later
I can't believe, that I can't tell Jas about Tom.
She's dithering on and on about her perfect little relationship. It wasn't perfect. It would all end in tears.
1 minute later
'Jas... Has Tom actually said that he wants to wait?' Jas looked at me.
'Yeah... He said it was fine.'
'Well, yeah... But have you actually asked him, what he wants.'
'Yes... He wants me to be happy.'
'Don't you want him to be happy?'
'He is happy?' Her tone turned her statement into a question.
1 minute later
RoRo decided to start with the integration.
14 minutes later
Saved by the Barmy Army.
Dave crept up on me. I screamed.
'Chill Kittykat... It's just me.'
1 minute later
Sitting on Dave's lap.
1 minute later
Cheeky Cat. He just took a bite out of my cupcake.
'Dave that's mine.'
'What has Kittykat been buying?'
1 minute later
Dave's nosing in my shopping bag. There's nothing interesting in there: some new makeup, wax strips, a new pair of jeans and a cute dress which Jas persuaded me to buy.
3:32 pm
RoRo and Sven have gone shopping for fake fur.
Ed and Rollo have taken Mabs and Jools to the movies.
Ellen was dithering to Dec.
And the Voley couple are silent, which filled me with confusiosity. They should be talking about fox poo and newts. Not giving each other the cold shoulder.
2 minutes later
Staring at Hunky and Po.
1 minute later
'Sex Kitten?'
1 minute later
Snogging Dave. Number 6.
I may have caught him slightly off guard. Woopies...
5 minutes later
Dave does want to go trick or treating; but I had to promise to let him pick the costume. This should be interesting.
6 minute later, The Fancy Dress Shop
Why do they even call it fancy dress? There is nothing fancy, about being the head end, of a naff horse costume.
'Dave do I have to be the head end?'
'Kittykat, as I've shown you. The Biscuit is too big to fit in that end.'
'Yeah, but how we supposed to collect candy dressed as a horse.'
'We shall tie a bucket around your neck.' Fabulous. I wasn't going to get out of this one.
2 minutes later
Dave brought the horse costume, but refused to take his half off.
'Kittykat, I need to wear it in.' He's seriously worse than Libs.
'Dave, you are worse than Libby.'
'Am not... I don't give Kitty Cat haircuts.'
1 minute later
'So, what's up with the Voley couple? They were very Un-Voley-ish.'
'Erm... We were talking about Jools and Rollo. Rollo's said he'd wait until Jools is ready...' Dave interrupted me.
'Strange boy. He doesn't know what he's missing.'
'Dave, do you mind?'
'No not at all, Kittykat. Please continue.'
'Well. It's really cute... Anyhow, Jas started blabbering on, about how perfect she and Hunky are. I started choking on my drink. Then RoRo hit me around the back and I asked Jas, if she'd asked Tom, what he wanted. I think it really phased her.'
1 minute later
Dave looks really gorgey, when he's deep in thought.
6:49 pm, My Bedroom
Dave thinks Hunky and Po will sort it out.
But I'm expecting a tearful call from Jas.
7:00 pm
What kind of makeup does a horse wear?
1 minute later
Mutti's just wondered into my room.
'Georgia Darling...' Marvy. She wants something.
'Yes, dearest Mutti of mine.' She raised her eyebrows.
'Can I borrow your jeans? Mine are in the wash.'
She means her jeans are in Mount To-Be-Washed. Why can't she be a normal Mutti and actually do the washing? Like Jas' Mutti: Jas' Mutti does the washing and cleaning all the time.
2 minute later
Let Mutti have an old pair of jeans.
Don't know how she expects to fit in them.
9:00 pm
Tucked up in bed.
1 minute later
Libby's just came into my room.
'BAD BOY! MOVE OVER! MY FRWENDS NEED ROOM!'
Fab. She's brought all her frwends with her.
9:30 pm
Have Libs cold botty pressed against my thigh and I'm laying on her mouldy Potato frwend.
Sunday, October 30
11:00 am
My mobile's ringing.
'GINGEY! TURN ALARM OFF!'
1 minute later
It's Jas... Oh no.
'Hey Jas.'
'Gee...' She sounds happy.
'Jas, are you okay?'
'Yeah... I'm fab. Why wouldn't I be?'
'Oh, didn't you hear about the webbed footed newt... It may...'
Jas interrupted me.
'Gee... I didn't phone you to talk about newts.'
Okay, now I know something's wrong.
'What did you phone me for then?'
'Hunky and I got to number 10 last night. You were right, he didn't want to wait.'
1 minute later
Wow... That was unexpected.
'... And he was so gently. Did you bleed after you and Dave did it? My Mum said it's common the first time, but I'm a little scared...'
Jas went on and on.
'Jas!'
'Yeah...'
'Stop having a nervy b.'
'I'm not. I'm just so happy.'
'Hmmm... I can hear that. So, what did Hunky say?'
'Ooo. It was so sweet. He said he loves me; that he didn't want to wait. He said that he knew I wanted to wait, but he couldn't. Then we snogged and...'
You know, I'm kind of happy for her.
1 minute later
'So, what were you saying about the webbed footed newt?' Arr... Jas the Wise Woman of the Woods is back.
1 minute later
Hung up on Jas.
5:00 pm
Babysitting Libby.
The elder loons have gone to one of Uncle Eddie's shows. Tres tres gross.
6:45 pm
Text from Dave.
Miss you Kittykat xxx. That's really cute.
Didn't think you do phone sex? : P
7:00 pm
Took a while for Dave to text back.
I'll make an exception for you.
Well in that case... I love you xxx.
Lobe you too, Kittykat.
A.N. Dave's family will be starting to come into the picture over the next couple of chapters. I've decided to give everyone a quick preview of Dave's unusual family.
Rebecca and Amelia (Dave's older twin sisters- They're 20 years old)
- Rebecca is a doctoral student at Cambridge University. She got the brains in the family. She's married to Charles, who is rather posh and Dave likes to take the mick out of him. This annoys Rebecca.
- Amelia lives in London and is on the West End in the Sound of Music (She's Maria). Dave likes to annoy her with his tres amusant 'Sound of Pants' edition. She got the musical and acting talent in the family.
- His sisters both tease and pester him whenever they're around. They know how to push his buttons. Oh and they wouldn't be Dave's sisters without the family comedy gene.
Jane (Dave's Mutti)
- Jane is a doctor. She's very embarrassing around Dave and treats him like a baby, because he's her little boy.
Richard (Dave's Vati)
- He's the reason for the family comedy gene. He and Dave have an understanding. If Dave doesn't make fun of him; then he won't make fun of Dave. Dave and he are vair good friends.
So, that's Dave's family. Please review and tell me what you think.