AN: I don't own twilight
Thank you for all of you who have added my story to alerts and favorites, and those of you who write me such encouraging reviews, they make me happy.
For any of you who have wondered why I haven't switched off to Bella's point of view, I have a reason for that. I started off in Edward's point of view, you know how he's feeling about the situation and hopefully want to find out the truth as much as he does, if I switched off to Bella's, then you would know more than him, which wouldn't coincide with my goal of the audience finding out with him. Plus, I think you all know where this will eventually go.
Chapter 10
At seven thirty I drove to the house I grew up in. I noticed all the cars were in the driveway, meaning I was the last to arrive, as usual. When I entered the house, I noted the sounds of the Seattle Mariners game coming from the living room. Esme, Alice, and Rosalie were talking animatedly about various things, none of them being the wedding. I also realized that Jasper wasn't asleep, like I expected, instead he was watching the game attentively with Emmett.
I sat down silently next to Alice who acknowledged me with an enthusiastic "Hi Edward!" She always was the happiest, even when she wasn't exactly happy.
There was relatively no conversation, unless Jasper and Emmett didn't agree with a call made in the baseball game. Although, the words began flowing freely when we were all seated at the dinner table. Alice and Rosalie began talking about the wedding, but they quickly stopped when Esme gave them a look we all knew too well.
"Edward, how was your night with Bella?" Carlisle asked after a few silent moments.
"Good." It seemed extremely inadequate for the time I spent with Bella, but that was all I could muster at the moment.
"You went out with her?" Emmett suddenly piped in with a strong amount of surprise in his voice.
"Yes," I said, not wanting to admit I knew the reason for Emmett's tone.
"Oh...that's good I guess," he shrugged and Rosalie gave him a tentative look. It seemed as though the conversation was being carefully controlled for my benefit.
"Esme, is there any way you could watch Ashley again tomorrow?" I asked, looking directly at my mother and trying to ignore the other eyes on me.
"Of course, were you two planning on doing something then?" She asked, wearing a warm smile that seemed to radiate off of her. She also seemed a little smug; if not for her push I wouldn't have this relationship with Bella.
"Yes, we're planning on going on a picnic actually," I replied, taking a bite of the barbecue chicken sitting on my plate.
Instead of saying anything, Esme smiled wider, giving off obvious hope and happiness as to the turn my life abruptly took.
"So, how long is it until the school year's over, Jasper?" Carlisle asked.
Jasper worked at our old high school and once school ended for the summer he focused on the pub he co-owned with Emmett. The two positions still made me laugh silently, there was extreme contrast.
"Three weeks, but it's going to be really tough. We still have finals coming up and we have to review for those, the hardest part is getting them to stay concentrated." Jasper taught history for the sophomore class, even though the end for them wasn't a special milestone, it can still be hard to concentrate. I remember attempting to study for finals with Bella, that wasn't the easiest thing to do when any little movement from her would immediately grab my attention. She didn't mean to be a road block; according to her I was just as big of a distraction to her as she was to me. Unfortunately that meant we were forced to study separately, or else our grades would suffer.
I quickly snapped myself out of the past and focused on the present. Every now and then it gets hard to accept your happiest time is in your past.
The dinner conversation continued on light topics. We spoke of the hospital, Alice and Rosalie's clothing store, Future of Fashion, and Emmett and Jasper's pub, True Blood (AN: Thank you Brianna's mom). The conversations soon faded and we excused ourselves and said goodbye to our parents, but Alice, Jasper, and I were planning on meeting at Rosalie and Emmett's condo to talk more. Their place was about twenty minutes inside Port Angeles, so we arrived by nine.
When we got inside, Emmett immediately went to the bar to start making drinks. It was easy to tell why Emmett convinced Jasper to open a bar, he certainly didn't mind drinking often, which was clear by the fully stocked bar located in the kitchen.
Everyone but Alice and Emmett passed on the drinking, I especially didn't want to be caught up in DUI, and the other doctors at the hospital would lose all respect for me. Plus, I didn't want to have a hangover on my date, that wouldn't be the wisest decision.
We all gathered in their crème and red patterned living room- Rosalie said that color needed to be brought into the usual color scheme- taking seats on the overstuffed leather couches and chairs.
The conversations lead off simply, talking about usual things. Apparently Rosalie ran into Jessica the other day, you can only imagine how bad that could've been for Jessica. The only thing that stopped Rosalie was the knowledge that Jessica would go to the hospital and wait specifically for me to be her doctor, that's a thought I don't want to have.
Through the night, the alcohol began to take effect on Emmett and Alice. When Alice is drunk, she laughs hysterically at everything, and I do mean everything; she's not the best company if you have a headache. Emmett, on the other hand, is even more of a comedian, but seems to always focus on dirty jokes. There was one similarity between my two alcohol loving adopted siblings, they'll say whatever they want once they are thoroughly intoxicated.
I should've known that the topic of Bella would come up eventually, but it wasn't really something I was eager to get into. My reason was very rational: two people didn't like that I was having any kind of relationship with Bella.
"So, Edward, how's Bella?" Emmett staggered over the words and began laughing under his breath once he spit out Bella's name.
"Um...she's well," I answered with uncertainty. I was unsure what Emmett's intentions were and I didn't want to add fuel to any beginning fire. After all, who knew what would come from a drunken Emmett?
"I don't see why you're going after Bella, but then you've always been Ed-weird," Alice chimed in and then began laughing like a hyena at her mention at my immature childhood nickname. I rolled my eyes; this was going to be a very long night and a very bad headache.
"Alice," Jasper reprimanded her, but she just rolled her eyes and pushed his chest lightly, not stopping her loud, wind chime laugh.
"Seriously, she left you once, she'll leave you again. Then you'll turn back into zombie Eddie, creature of the dark and depressed moods. But I'll be there waiting until you're better to tell you ' I told you so...'" Emmett said matter of factly while opening his sixth can of Becks beer.
I knew there might be some truth to his words, but I couldn't face those facts, not when I knew that could be a real possibility. I shook that thought; Bella was my friend now, nothing more no matter what history we have together. Only because it is her, that's the only reason why I'm doing this. I needed to know the whole truth, why did everything change for the worst in such little time? It hurts to think of what we could've had, if not for that faithful day.
*Flashback*
I had my books sprawled out on the kitchen table of my and Bella's apartment, I had a big test tomorrow and I hadn't been studying as hard as I should have been, instead I was hanging out with my two adopted brothers. I did feel bad for neglecting Bella, but I planned to make it up to her this weekend- all weekend actually.
I was engrossed in my studies when I heard a careful and quiet open and close of the front door. I waited for a few minutes, expecting her to come and find me to talk about her day and get started on her own work. She just got back from her shift at the college book store, a place Bella seemed to fit in really well. However, it remained quiet and empty throughout our apartment. I was beginning to worry, so I decided to investigate.
I entered our bedroom, the place I spent the most time with my love, and saw something that surprised me. What was she doing? Bella was moving around our room quietly, taking everything that belonged to her and put the items into her large suitcase sitting on the bed. She didn't notice that I stood in silent shock in the doorway and she continued on her gathering rampage. Bella finally caught sight of me when she walked by the one mirror we had in the room, and saw my reflection. She only stopped momentarily and then continued collecting her books sitting on our shared bookshelf.
"Bella?" I called out. What was going on? Why was this happening?
Bella only stopped momentarily, collecting her own personal library more slowly than before. Her back was facing me, but I saw her shoulders slump and her head slightly drop; she was deep in thought. She finally turned to face me with a sigh.
I studied Bella carefully; this was potentially the last time I could really look at her. I noted that her eyes were watering; she had darker circles under her tearing eyes than I've ever seen since I met her, and she was fidgeting, clearly nervous. She was looking down at her worn copy of Wuthering Heights, playing with the tassel attached to the bookmark that was inside.
"Bella, what's going on?" I asked cautiously, moving slowly to stand in front of her. I carefully put my hands on her shoulders, making my presence more prominent. "Bella?"
She sighed and finally looked up from her tattered book to me. "I'm leaving Edward. I have to go," She said in a finalizing tone, but I wasn't going to give up so easily. She jerked her shoulders out of my grasp and went back to packing.
"Bella, why are you leaving?" I asked, following closely behind her. "Is it because of school? You don't have to leave because you're dropping out. I can take care of the both of us, Bella; we can still be a family. Please, don't go." I noted that she flinched slightly when I said the word 'family', maybe I was choosing the wrong word choices.
Bella didn't turn around to answer me; she just took a deep breath and spoke her mind. "I have to leave, Edward. I can't stay here; it's not good for anyone. I have to leave you and everyone and everything else. Don't make this harder than it already is." She exhaled loudly and turned quickly, careful not to look and or touch me, and continued on to the closet.
"What about school?" I asked, following her once again. Truthfully, at the moment I didn't care much about her schooling, I was just trying to think of an excuse to keep her here. She couldn't leave me.
"I'll transfer, it's almost the end of this semester and I have decent grades, another school will accept me," Bella continued grabbing her items as she spoke, not paying attention to me like she usually would, how she always did when we spoke to one another. I noticed that her side of the closet was almost empty, she was going to gather the rest of the things of hers in this one trip and she didn't have anything left in our- soon to be my- room. I needed to do something, anything to get more information out of her.
When she turned to walk out of the closet, I stood in the middle of the doorway, blocking her exit. She was going to talk to me.
"Edward, let me through," she said, clearly frustrated that leaving me wasn't going to be as simple as she thought.
"No Bella. You're going to explain this," I gestured toward the massive pile of clothing in her hands and then folded my arms over my chest; I tried to keep from becoming angry by locking my fists securely together.
She sighed once again, but at the end a slight sob came through and she clamped her eyes together tightly, an action she usually performed to keep tears away. "I have nothing to explain to you," she spat in a vicious way I never heard from Bella before. She was speaking to me like I was a stranger who had just ran over her cast, rather than conversing with me in a way as to be expected from those in a relationship.
"Ha, that's absurd. I have every right to an explanation," I attempted to make my voice sound strong, but it sounded my more weak then I thought I was capable of.
"Why?" She challenged, maybe in an attempt at distracting me.
"Well, because one I'm your boyfriend, two I'm your roommate, four I'm your lover, and five because I love you," I felt very strong for being able to spit out that much. "Now, will you please tell me why you're leaving?"
"I can't do this," Bella began slowly. "I can't stay here with you and everyone else. It's too hard to be around such happy people when I'm nowhere near that. I need a change, this isn't me and I have to stop pretending. I'm sorry, Edward, but I'm leaving."
"You're... breaking up with me?" Those words felt wrong to say, they didn't seem to be accurate. A break up reminded me of an immature high school romance, clearly not a description accurate for Bella and me. If she left, I wasn't just losing my love, but also the future I thought was set in stone for the two of us.
She took in another breath that slightly sounded like a pant."I-I guess I am." Bella didn't look at me; instead she seemed suddenly interested in her old pair of Converse."Please, Edward, just...let me go," Bella strained for that final sentence. I was reminded of what Bella told me about what she remembered when her mother left her father, same basic words that she just used.
"Answer one more question for me," I already sounded defeated and my heart was already broken, this would drive a stake into it. I really was masochistic. "Do you still love me?" I whispered, fighting hard against my emotions to do anything rational at this moment.
"I don't know," she whispered, still looking down. That was it, the stake was through, my real meaning in life was over, all my dreams were gone. I stepped out of the closet and leaned against the wall furthest from the bed Bella was now at, finishing her packing.
She didn't say anything as she grabbed her bags and looked at me. Maybe she was waiting for me to go into a testosterone fueled rage, but if this was what Bella wanted, I wouldn't object. If Bella could no longer love me and wasn't happy, I would let her leave, like she wanted.
Bella began to walk out of the room and I followed closely behind, intending to dig myself deeper into the awaiting pit of despair. She stopped once she was at the door, she dug through her jean's pocket and revealed her key to our my apartment. She held the key out to me and I tried not to let everything hit me, because I knew when it did it would have the weight of a ton of bricks and would result to me being on my knees, begging.
"Take care of yourself, Bella," I whispered, looking at my new spare key.
"Okay," Bella was whispering too, maybe her departure was hard on her as well.
I looked up in time to see the only girl I ever loved walk out of my life. "I loved you," I whispered as the door slammed close.
That night, I couldn't bear to sleep to sleep in the bed, it still smelt like Bella. The next day, I failed my final and had to do an emergency extra credit assignment to manage a low B in that class.
Nothing was the same after Bella left, but after awhile I slowly gave up hope that she was coming back, and started living as if Bella was never the most important part of my life.