Omigod, I am so sorry this took so long!

Struggled with this particular chapter since it contains so many events. I skip a lot of months here because I didn't want it to go too long.

But even so, it's now the longest chapter so far. I hope you guys don't mind how the chapters keep getting longer and longer lol

No nsfw warning for this chapter

I seriously hope you guys like this chapter!

Thank you all for the support! All of the views, comments, follows, and favourites, I swear they make my day!

So I should probably shut up now and let you guys read it huh? Yeah...

Chapter 10: Saudade

2025

"You know I don't have any problems with bringing up Soma on my own. But I really wish you could've been there to have that lecture with him, Hinata," Joichiro complained as he peeled an apple with his knife. "I'm not even sure I did it, right." He chuckles, recalling that particular night.

2018

"Soma, after you're done here, we need to talk," Joichiro said, heading to the storage room to grab a bottle of whiskey.

"Okay, dad," Soma replied, glancing up at his dad for a moment before wiping the counter with a washcloth. Moments later, he walked over to one of the tables where Joichiro sat, nursing a glass of whiskey. He flopped down on one of the stools.

"I know this is going to be extremely uncomfortable for both of us, Soma," Joichiro said, pausing for a moment to gulp down the rest of his drink. He let the smooth drink go all the way down before speaking up again. "But I promised your mom I'd do this. So, here goes…"

"Dad?" Soma said, staring at his dad who was silent for a few seconds.

Joichiro sighed, clearly uncomfortable. "Now that you're fifteen, you need to know about the birds…and bees." He paused, looking down at Soma who just stared at him, confused. "You know…when two people love each other, they may show their love for each other…physically…" he trailed off, pouring himself another drink, making it a little higher than his first.

Soma jumped up from his seat and covered his ears, shouting, "Dad! We are not having this talk!" He continued to shout random gibberish, avoiding his father's glare.

After watching Soma panic and word vomit to drown out his voice for a few seconds, Joichiro finally shouted, "Shut your trap and sit down!"

Hesitant, Soma slowly took off his hands and sat back down. "Dad…" he whined.

"Come on, Soma. I promised your mom. Don't make this more difficult than it already is," Joichiro said, wiping his face in frustration. Soma continued to mutter. "Okay, how about this, we have a shokugeki tomorrow and if you win, we don't have to have this talk. I'm sure you already know what happens if I win," Joichiro said.

"Deal!" Soma said, grinning.

The following night, they held a shokugeki when the afternoon regulars came pouring in. Joichiro won and they found themselves in the same situation as yesterday. Joichiro gulping down whiskey to get through the talk and Soma listening uncomfortably, wishing the ground would open up and swallow him whole.

2025

"But I guess, I must've done something since he made it this far without a hitch in that department," Joichiro said, throwing a piece of apple in his mouth. "I don't know if I explained it right or scared him to death, but I guess it worked," he said, shrugging.

He laughed for a while as the image of Soma's nauseous face flashed in his mind. Then his mind drifted back to their first time. "You know, while we were talking that night, I kept thinking of how lucky and happy I was. Of course, I had no idea you'd leave me when morning came."

A light breeze passed by, wafting his hair. "I told you I'm still mad about that day, Anata…" he whispered jokingly. The breeze returned, a little stronger this time. He laughed. "I'm just kidding. I know, I know. You were sorry. You kept telling me after all," Joichiro said, faintly smiling.

1996

Joichiro stared up at the ceiling. It's a little after midnight, everyone is already asleep and Polar Star is completely silent. After dinner, most of the residents went to one of the rooms to hang out.

"Joichiro, aren't you going to join us?" Gin asked as Joichiro diverted away from the crowd.

"Maybe next time," he said, shaking his head as he turned to head up to his room. He avoided Gin's concerned gaze and went up the stairs.

He absent-mindedly went down the corridor and entered a room. Joichiro took off his slippers and stopped just before sitting on the bed, noticing that it was completely empty. What? He thought, turning around. His heart skipped a beat. This is Hinata's room. Must've entered it out of habit, he thought.

Joichiro looked around the still, bare room. Hinata had left nothing behind, it was stripped clean. Before he could stop himself, he walked over to the desk and opened each drawer, hoping she left something that he could remember her by. Maybe a letter, some herbal tea, or a picture. He checked every drawer, cabinet, nook and cranny, and found nothing. Joichiro walked out of her room, more dejected than before he entered it. He quietly went across the hall and slipped into his room, hoping no one noticed that he had accidentally walked into hers.

Now here he is, hours later, staring at the ceiling because he couldn't fall asleep. A little while later, his mind drifted off to Hinata's letter which sits atop his desk. The creases have become prominent after numerous folding and unfolding.

"Dear Joichiro," he thought, capable of reciting the letter word for word after reading it more than a dozen times. "I'm sorry for leaving so suddenly. And I know this won't make a difference, but if I had a choice, I'd stay and be with you. Totsuki is just not where I need to be right now. Hopefully, you will understand that someday. I wouldn't know if I said goodbye properly. But however it happened; I assure you that saying goodbye to you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Possibly, the most difficult thing I'll ever have to do. My heart is forever yours, Joichiro. No matter what happens. With love, Hinata."

He squeezed his eyes shut, cursing everything in the world including whoever's up there for crossing their fates that day. Why in the world did I have to meet her? he screamed in his mind as he turned to lie on his stomach, burying his head in the pillow.

"Oh, screw it," he muttered, sitting up. I guess I'll just cook, he thought, walking over to his personal refrigerator to see what he could do. There were a couple of ingredients inside and it didn't take long before he could think of a recipe.

Joichiro ended up cooking throughout the night. His finished dishes were scattered around the room, almost untouched. The sun had risen an hour earlier but he paid it no mind as he went on to start working on his first dish, thinking it could use a couple of improvements. He was so engrossed in his task that he didn't hear someone walk into his room.

"Joichiro-kun," he heard someone call out. He turned and looked up, carrying a pan in his hand which he dropped upon seeing his visitor. The pan landed with a loud thud, its contents spilling all over the floor. "Saiba-kun!" Akiko shouted, rushing over to where he stood.

The crash, along with her scream, pushed him out of his daydream. For a moment he swore it was Hinata who stood in front of him and called out his name. I guess I need sleep now, he thought as he helped Akiko clean up. It took them a while to completely get rid of the mess, but the pan had left a permanent-looking burnt stain on the floor.

"Saiba-kun, have you slept?" Akiko asked as she looked around the room, noting the barely eaten dishes strewn around and the dark circles under his eyes. Joichiro shook his head, not seeing a point to lying. "You should get some rest. Don't worry, I'll take care of this."

"Thank you, Otsuka-san," he said, crashing into his bed. He fell asleep within seconds.

"What the hell happened here?" Gin whispered sharply as he walked inside a little while later. "Is this all his?" he asked Akiko, picking up one of his dishes.

"Yeah, looks like he's been cooking all night. He went as pale as a ghost when I walked in, even dropped a pan on the floor," she said, nodding to the dark mark on the floor.

Gin sighed. "This is not like him," he said, helping Akiko with the cleaning.

"I know, but we have to give him some space. It's not easy, but hopefully he'll figure it out on his own," she said, carrying multiple dishes in her arm. "I'm taking these downstairs. Waste not, want not," Akiko said, exiting the room.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, Joichiro?" Gin whispered as he picked up Hinata's letter, already fragile from excessive wear and tear. He opened a random drawer in his desk and placed the letter inside before cleaning up the rest of the mess.

Hinata paid the cab driver who helped her unload her things afterwards. She thanked him and he drove away, leaving her and her luggage in front of Yukihira Diner. She stared up at the sign, still unchanged after all these years. Moments later, she could hear the noise of the customers, the busy kitchen, and a particular voice standing out above the rest. Her father's. The familiarity of it all struck her like a hot knife going through butter as her knees went weak. How am I going to tell him I failed? She thought.

"Hinata?" someone called out from behind her. She turned around. It's her childhood friend, Osamu Aki.

"Hey, Osamu, how are you?" she said, smiling at him.

"I'm good," he said, smiling back. "Do you need help with your bags?" Before she could reply and tell him she needs more time to prepare herself, he already picked up her bags and pushed the door open, carrying them inside. "Aito-san! Look who's back!" he called out, making everyone in the diner look at her.

She walked over to the counter, her head bowed down as she avoided everyone's looks. "Dad," she said quietly, expecting the worst. When he kept quiet, she looked up at him. There was a knowing look in his eyes, but she couldn't pin down what he's thinking.

"Change into your uniform and help me out," he said, looking away as he poured a dish into a plate.

Hinata nodded and went back to her things. Osamu helped her carry her things into her room. "Thank you, Osamu," she said absent-mindedly as she looked around her room.

"No problem, Hinata-san. I'll see you out there," he said before leaving her alone.

Everything's exactly as I left it, she thought. Nothing's changed. She slid the door shut and started to unbutton her dress. Images from last night flashed in her mind. Hinata shook her head.

"Stop it, Hinata," she scolds herself as she slips out of her dress.

The Yukihira uniform rests inside her cabinet, folded and untouched. Her hand smoothed over the soft fabric. I'm back, she thought sadly. After changing into her uniform, she looked at herself in the mirror while she tied her hair up.

It's like the past year didn't happen, she thought, staring at the familiar look she wore day in and out all those years. But it did happen and it changed you.

"Not now," she whispered, her legs getting weak as she remembered Joichiro's face when she said goodbye. Squeezing her eyes shut, she breathed in and out slowly, trying not to cry for the third time that morning.

She opened her eyes slowly and took one last look at herself in the slightly stained mirror. Just get through today. Hinata grabbed her knives and headed for the kitchen. Her dad was still busy working on the orders and when he noticed her presence, he gave her some instructions.

For the rest of the day, they worked in relative silence, only her father's commands filled up the void every now and then. Even when they ate lunch and dinner in between services, they sat across each other and ate quietly. The tension put her on edge as she waited for the bomb to drop. Every time she'd hear him speak, Hinata would brace herself before realizing he was just telling her what to do. It was almost unbearable. It would be, if there weren't many customers that day, most of them childhood friends and former classmates of Hinata who had heard that she's back in their family diner.

She avoided their questions and just smiled at them politely. Eventually, they stopped asking and just filled her in on what she's missed since she left. Turns out a lot has changed around the shopping district and at school. What initially felt familiar to Hinata suddenly changed in the blink of an eye. She noticed that her friends look more mature and some of them are now dating. Her mind drifted back to her cab ride back home, recalling that her favourite sweets shop has already closed down. They said the old lady moved to her son's house in Osaka months ago.

Everything's changed, she thought. The crushing realization hit her like a bus and made her still for a moment. The smell of burning vegetables in her wok made her come back to her senses. Her friends continued to chat, unaware that she spaced out. Only half of her mind focused on them while the other half recalled her conversation with Senzaemon. This isn't going to be enough. Everything's changed. I've changed. Things can't just go back to the way they were.

Eventually, their last customer had left. Her friends left an hour ago, bidding her goodbye. She smiled to them over the counter, waving her hand. When the diner was empty, Aito locked the steel rolling gates up front and slid the door shut. Aside from the sound of dishwashing and piling of dishes, the diner was completely silent. Now the tension is unbearable, she thought as she continued to wash the pans.

Half an hour later and the kitchen is squeaky clean. Instead of heading for his room, Aito went over to one of the empty tables and sat down. Hinata followed directly behind him, preparing herself for the dressing-down she's about to get.

"I'm sorry I failed you, dad," she said, bowing her head.

"Were you happy?" He asked. Hinata abruptly looked up at him, speechless. "Did you make friends? Improved your skills?"

Still quite hesitant, Hinata eventually answered, "Uhm, yes, I made a lot of friends and Totsuki really challenges and pushes its students to improve. And I was happy…" She trailed off. Really happy, she thought as Joichiro's face popped into her mind. Aito nodded. "But I failed my classes and got expelled. I'm really sorry, father."

"As long as you were happy and felt like the experience was worth it, then I'm not mad," he said. Hinata found herself speechless once again. The conversation is heading towards the opposite direction of what she expected.

"But…don't you want me to be as successful as you were…?" she said, it sounded like a question because she was completely unsure of what to say anymore.

Aito smiled faintly. "It's true that I want you to become successful. But I didn't send you to that school to become a famous chef and achieve what I once had. I sent you there because I saw potential in you and I had heard this school from an old friend. He's one of the few people from my Ginza days who still recognize me," he said. "Personally, I didn't learn cooking in a school. Never got a certificate or diploma for it. I was just taught by my mother and became better over time. But my friend convinced me that it's a great school for budding chefs, so I figured you can try it out. It's not ideal that you got expelled, especially since we have to rethink your plans, but it's not the end of the world."

Hinata stared at her dad. He's never spoken to me like this before, she thought. "I thought you'd be disappointed in me," she whispered.

He shook his head lightly. "I'd never be disappointed in you, Hinata. I'm always proud of you," he said. After a second of silence, he sighed. "I've had a lot of time to think since you left for Totsuki and one of the things I've come to realize is that ever since your mother died, I've been a distant father. We're always working here, in the diner, but we've never sat down to talk like this."

"You're a great father, dad," she said.

He chuckled. "You got that from your mother, you know? She always saw the good in people, even when they prove her wrong," Aito said, looking out at nothing in particular. "You've had a rough childhood. It's not easy to take care of an alcoholic father. But you still grew up to be so kind," he said.

Hinata looked away, feeling a pang of guilt in her chest. "I'm not sure that's true anymore," she whispered, half hoping that her father wouldn't hear.

"Is there something you'd like to talk about?" Aito said, looking at her curiously.

She shook her head. "Maybe next time, dad. It's getting late," Hinata said.

Aito nodded and they headed for their rooms. Hinata stared up at the ceiling for a long time, her thoughts consuming her. The events of that morning ran through her mind endlessly, Joichiro's face etched in like a tattoo as she pictured other ways their conversation could've ended. And they all ended the same way. Her, rushing out of the barn as fast as she could and his heart breaking right in front of her eyes. What if I had left before he even came home? She thought. Would it have been better? Would it have made a difference? Cursing inwardly, she tried to shut down her tired mind. What's done is done. You can't unring a bell, Hinata. All this over-thinking is pointless.

Two days later, Hinata went to retrieve their mail. She flipped through, expecting the usual. One particular letter made her freeze in the middle of the diner. The envelope only had her name in front, but she recognized the handwriting.

"Got the mail," she announced to Aito who only nodded, his attention on the newly delivered supplies. Throwing the rest of the mail onto the counter, she took her letter and rushed inside her room.

She stared at the envelope for a while, her heart racing in anticipation. Eventually, she slowly opened it and took out the letter. "Dear Hinata," the letter read. "How are you? I hope you are doing well. I miss you immensely. There's nothing much else for me to say, except I sincerely wish you are still here. Totsuki is not the same without you. Everything is not the same without you," Hinata paused, closing her eyes as she felt tears rising. After a while, she continued reading. "Will you be visiting Polar Star anytime soon? I know you probably have different plans. But I sincerely hope you consider visiting. Maybe someday when I get the time I can go to your diner and visit you. Nothing else would make me happier than seeing you again. Yours, Joichiro."

Hinata could hear her heart beating loudly as she folded the letter and stuffed it back inside the envelope. Can things really go back to the way they were? She entertained the fantasy for a moment until the memories of her fainting in the shokugeki resurfaced.

The bright lights of the hospital blinding her vision as she heard doctors and nurses talking to each other and shouting orders. She couldn't understand what they were saying. For a moment their voices were muffled as if she was on the other side of a glass wall, listening in. Briefly, she could see Joichiro's terrified face as she struggled to sit up, calling out his name. They kept pushing her down and sticking things into and on her body. The sound of machines beeped wildly around her. She couldn't even tell what they were for. Is that my heartbeat? She thought, looking up at the monitor beside her. Everything in her vision kept fading in and out of focus. It's like someone keeps dimming and turning up the lights. She could barely move; her whole body felt weak. Resigned, she allowed the shadow to embrace her again. The only thing she could see on a grotesque repeat is Joichiro's pale, frightened face as he stood frozen, a distance away from her.

Hinata opened her eyes slowly. Tears had fallen from her eyes. Some had landed on the envelope in her hands; the 'H' in her name had become disfigured. I can't put him through that again, she thought. I'd rather die than see him hurt like that. He deserves better. He always has…I just foolishly thought that I did too. She hides the letter and wipes her face. Just get through today, Hinata.

"Hinata!" Her father called out from the kitchen.

"Yes, father," she said, closing the door behind her.

...

"Dear Joichiro," she wrote down on a blank piece of paper. The rejected drafts were crumpled up and scattered around the desk. "Things are exactly the way they were here in the diner. I've been helping around. It's not the same as Totsuki and I kind of miss the challenging classes. I also miss you and Polar Star, but I'm afraid I can't come around to visit. I'm leaving soon and—"

Hinata crumpled up the draft again and threw it without direction. It bounced off the desk and landed on the floor, along with the other crumpled paper balls. "No, no, that's not—" She sighed, raking her fingers through her hair. "I can't do this. If I write him back, I'll be waiting for an answer and it'll go on forever and I'll never leave," she muttered. "It's going to be a cycle and I'll be stuck here. I can't—"

She stood up from her seat, breathing heavily. Her head started to feel light. Ignoring it, she hastily gathered all of the rejected letters and threw them to the trash bin outside. For good measure, she grabbed the plastic and stuffed the entire bag into the main garbage bin located outside their supply room. It was extremely dark and cold outside. The dawn is about to break in a while. She went back inside, hurriedly making her way back into her room, closing the lights as she walked past the switches.

Am I really doing this? Am I really leaving? She kept asking herself as she packed her things. When should I tell dad? Should I tell him this morning? Am I leaving this morning? A zillion more questions rushed through her mind as she continued packing. Eventually, Hinata decided she'll tell her father at dinner and she'll leave tomorrow morning. That should give me enough time to think of what to say, she thought. Just get through today. Her anti-climactic motivational line seemed to work somehow.

...

"Dad, there's something we need to talk about…" Hinata said just as they were finishing up in the kitchen.

"Sounds serious," Aito said, looking up at her as he wiped the counter.

Hinata merely smiled back. When the kitchen was already clean, they sat down on the same table as the other night. Aito looked at her intently while Hinata composed herself. A few times, she'd open her mouth to speak but the silence continued to stretch.

"Okay," Aito said, sensing his daughter's distress. "Does this have to do with the crumpled up letters in the trash can?" Her eyes flew wide open as she stared at him. "Saw it earlier."

Hinata sighed. "I think I've figured out what my plan is," she said, pausing for a moment. "If it's okay with you, dad, I'd like to go away for now. I want to learn more about medicinal cuisine and I can't do that if I stay here." Aito nodded, contemplating. "I'll take over the diner someday, don't worry. But for now, I think, it's best if I travel and learn as much as I can."

This time, Aito sighed. "Are you sure you can do this, Hinata?"

She nodded. "I mean, I'm not sure that I have what it takes. But I guess it's another thing I'll learn." They stared at each other for a beat. "You and this diner mean the world to me, dad. But—"

"It's not enough," he said, smiling sadly. Hinata looked down, ashamed. Aito chuckled. "Well, you definitely got that ambition from me." He took a deep breath, looking up as he mulled things over. "I can't give you much, so you'll have to work on the side…"

"Don't worry about me, dad. I'll figure it out," Hinata said, a smile appearing on her lips.

"Oh, right," he said, smiling back at her. "You want to learn how to be on your own." She nodded. "Well…are you going to tell me what brought this on?"

Hinata stopped smiling and cursed inwardly. I kind of hoped you'd forget about that, she thought. "You might not want to let me go if I tell you the truth…" she said.

"Well, I can't promise anything. But tell me anyway," Aito said, turning serious as her.

"I didn't actually get expelled from Totsuki." She paused, watching as her father looked at her with concern. "When I fainted a few days ago, it's not as simple as you think. The doctor said there could be a serious underlying cause and that I should get checked at a hospital."

"Yes, I remember him telling me that," he said. Hinata nodded. "Well, if you go, are you going to find out what it is?"

For a split second, Hinata weighed over the pros and cons of lying to her father. "I will, dad. I have a friend and his father's a doctor. They'll help me."

Aito nodded. "Something tells me I can't make you stay. And that something is the fact that you're as stubborn as your mother." Hinata couldn't help but smile. "Just promise me that you will take care of yourself. And if you get worse, you will come home, okay? Promise me…for my peace of mind."

"I promise, dad," she said. He smiled sadly at her. "I just need to do this. You have to trust me."

"Oh, Hinata. I have complete faith in you. I just want to make sure you're sure and happy with this decision," he said.

"I'm sure and I think this will make me happy," Hinata said confidently.

"Well, if that's the case, then I can't hold you back. When will you be leaving?" Hinata told him her plan of leaving tomorrow morning and taking the train to head for Osaka. "It seems you have everything planned out already. Why don't we get some sleep?"

They stood up from their seats and went to their rooms. For the first time in weeks, she fell asleep immediately.

Hinata opened her eyes and noticed the light streaming in through the window. She sat up and was greeted by the sight of her packed luggage. Today's the day, she thought. Am I really doing this? Her panicked thoughts were silenced by the smell of breakfast. She rushed to the kitchen where her father had already finished cooking their meals.

He smiled at her. "Let's have breakfast before you go, eh?" Hinata only smiled and helped prepare the table. They ate breakfast in surprisingly comfortable silence. The diner glowed differently this morning. She couldn't tell if it's because of the nostalgia or knowing that she won't see it for a long time or perhaps both. Either way, the diner felt more like home as they sat, eating oyakodon and miso soup.

"This isn't much but I hope it's enough," Aito said, handing over an envelope filled with cash. "Deposit it right away, okay?"

"Dad, I still have some money saved up—"

"Just take it, Hinata. For your old man's peace of mind," he said, shoving the envelope towards her.

Hinata took the envelope reluctantly. "Thank you, dad. This all means a lot to me and I know it's not easy for you," she said, smiling. The taxi arrived just in time. They loaded her suitcase in the trunk.

"Well," Aito said, not sure about what he's feeling. Hinata chuckled before hugging him for the first time in a long time. He froze and then shamelessly cried as he hugged his daughter back. "Oh, I will miss you so, my daughter."

"I will miss you too, dad. Take care of yourself, okay?" she said, smiling up at him with a tear-stained face.

Aito simply nodded. He could barely speak from crying. "Don't worry about me. Go," he said, pulling apart from their embrace. "You'll miss the train."

Hinata smiled at him one more time before climbing aboard the cab. She waved at him through the window. He waved back as he watched the car speed away. Hinata remained silent throughout the ride, mostly wiping tears off her face as she couldn't stop herself from crying buckets. Thankfully, the cab driver wasn't much up for a conversation either as he just continued driving to the train station.

There was no traffic as they sped through the streets. It didn't take long before they arrived. The driver helped her with the suitcase before driving away. There were a lot of people going in and out, rushing to get to work, school, or wherever they needed to be. Hinata took her time as she went inside. The board with all of the schedules loomed over her as she looked up at it.

"One ticket to Osaka," she said to the lady behind the counter when it was her turn. Half an hour later, she was already inside the shinkansen. Goodbye, for now, she thought as she looked out of the window.

For Joichiro, the rest of the month passed by in a blur. It's not that he was on auto-pilot or something, going through the motions in a daze. But rather, he felt fuelled by something but he couldn't put his finger on it. After that all-nighter he pulled, he slept for an astounding twelve hours, waking up when the sun had already set. Gin called him down for dinner and he avoided hanging out with the rest again that night.

When he went inside his room after eating, the first thing he noticed was Hinata's letter or rather, its absence from his desk. Rather than rushing over to the desk to look for it, he sat down on his bed. I need to get my mind focused on something else, he thought, suddenly determined. To move on? To keep his feelings in a lid? He didn't know, even after a few minutes of deep contemplation.

I don't know what I want to do with her or with what happened. And I don't know why I have this sudden urge to make myself busy. But I guess this beats sulking around in here or randomly creating dishes because I couldn't sleep.

Surprisingly, he found himself falling asleep a lot faster than yesterday. When he woke up, the sun was just about to rise. Joichiro went over to the pile of shokugeki letters addressed to him. He had completely ignored them since Hinata left, thinking he wasn't quite up for it. Now, refreshed and suddenly resolute to attain a goal he hasn't quite figured out yet, he called up the shokugeki department to confirm that he will accept them all.

Still, every now and then, he'd find his resolve slipping as he writes a letter to Hinata. When his first letter went unanswered, he told himself he'd never send another one. But whenever he found himself in a bind about a particular shokugeki or just remembering her all of a sudden, he'd send another one. Then the cycle would start all over again when he finds no letter from her in the mail.

"The victor for this shokugeki is Saiba Joichiro!" one of the judges announced and his name appeared onscreen along with the landslide score of 3 – 0 in his favour.

His opponent, whose name he didn't even bother to remember, rushed out of the arena. Gin met him as he headed for the changing room. He was saying something, but Joichiro couldn't register his words. I won again. Why am I not happy? Shaking his head, Joichiro changed out of his cooking uniform in silence as he simmered in his anger and frustration. He could hear his opponent talking with his friend on the other side of the locker behind him but their conversation was muffled.

"I'm saying it's not fair!" he could hear someone shout. Joichiro was almost certain it's his opponent. He listened closely, even Gin stopped speaking to eavesdrop.

"Yeah," his friend said, scoffing. "Of all the people you go up against. I mean, he's a genius. No one should even be going up against him anymore."

Seething, he slammed the locker door shut before rushing around the locker separating them. Gin followed him, concerned.

"Oy! What the hell were you saying?" Joichiro shouted. The two jumped up in shock, backing away from him. "You're actually surprised that you lost? Did you even do anything to stop that from happening?" he continued to shout, advancing towards them slowly. They shrunk back, pale and frightened. "Well? I'll answer for you two geniuses. No, you fucking didn't!" he screamed, emphasizing each word. "You didn't even try; you didn't give it your best! So it shouldn't be a surprise to anyone in that arena that you lost! You just fucking gave up! And there was nothing I could do about it!" The room fell completely silent for a split second. "You just…gave up on me…" Joichiro trailed off breathlessly as what he's been saying dawned on him. The two were practically glued against the wall as they cowered from him. Joichiro backed away slowly and sat down on the bench, looking down at the floor.

Gin sighed. "You should go," he said to the two. They tiptoed around Joichiro, eyeing him warily.

"You better get your friend checked. He's crazy," Joichiro's opponent whispered to him as they walked past. Gin glares at them. They run out of the changing room. When their footsteps had faded, Gin went over to Joichiro's side.

"Okay, you're crazy," Gin said, leaning on the locker. "What the hell was that?"

"I don't want to talk about it, Gin," Joichiro muttered, his head buried on his hands.

Gin shook his head. "No, you know what? No. We've been 'not talking about it' for over a month now. So no, we have to talk about this cause clearly Hinata leaving is affecting you more than you realize."

"I'm dealing with it, okay?"

"Sure, if you call exhausting yourself to death by cooking and battling day in and day out 'dealing with it'" Gin said. Joichiro looked up at him pointedly, clearly not in the mood for his sarcasm.

"How about we call it 'keeping myself busy'?" He retorted.

"Call it whatever you want, it's obviously not helping," Gin said. Joichiro looked away. "So why don't you just say it, okay? We both know you hate that she's gone so just say it…"

"Of course I hate it that she's gone," Joichiro said quietly. Gin stared at him in surprise before sitting down behind him. "I love her, Gin. I didn't even get the chance to tell her that. She just left. One minute we were happy and the next..." Joichiro shook his head as the memory of her leaving resurfaced in his mind. He decided to look out of the window instead.

"She didn't exactly have a choice. She got expelled," Gin said, staring at the lockers in front of him.

"No, I know that, okay?" Joichiro said, turning around to look at Gin who returned his gaze. "I'm not stupid or delirious. It's just—she didn't give me enough time."

"Time for you to convince her to stay?"

"Time for…" Joichiro paused, speechless. "I don't know," he said, throwing up his hands. "I just don't feel we were given enough time." He looked down at the floor, staring through his arms resting on his thighs.

Gin sighed. "Life's unfair," he said, unsure of what else to say.

"Life's a b—"

"Okay, okay," Gin interrupted.

They became silent for a while. "I sent her a letter, you know?" Joichiro said quietly, still staring at the floor. Gin looked at him, noting the despair in his voice. "Three letters, in fact. And she hasn't replied to any one of them. Kind of makes me wonder sometimes if she really loved me."

"Of course she did," Gin said. Joichiro chuckled darkly. "She does," he continued, more forcefully this time. "Look, do you really think that if you followed her she'd be happy? Think about it, why didn't she convince you to leave with her?" Joichiro remained silent. "She didn't want you to come with her because she wants you to be here, in Totsuki, working on being the best chef in the planet, not trailing after her like some lovesick puppy," Gin paused, gauging his friend's reaction. "She loves you enough to let you go," He continued. Joichiro stood up from his seat and headed for the door. "Where are you going?"

"I just need to go for a walk. I'll see you back at the dorm," Joichiro said, not even looking behind him as he left Gin behind.

Joichiro strolled around aimlessly for a while, deep in thought. Maybe I got the wrong address in my letters? I mean, that's the only possible reason why she's not answering them, right? It's either that…or she really just doesn't care, he thought, pausing as he arrived at a field. It was empty and looking around, he noticed that there aren't any nearby buildings. He sat down in the middle, picking at the grass. Okay, that's ridiculous, Joichiro. Maybe she's just busy at the diner and can't answer your letters for now. I mean, if she doesn't care, she'd…

"She'd leave me," he whispered as the realization took his breath away. All of his thoughts in the past month clicked into place like a key fitting into a lock. "She's gone. And she's not coming back."

I've been in a massive state of denial. What have I been doing? Writing her letters even though she hasn't replied even once, competing left and right to keep my mind away from the fact that I'll never see her again, even when I'm in competitions out of Totsuki, I hope that I'd run into her somehow? I've been stalling. But she's not coming back. She left me. She really left me.

For the first time since she left, Joichiro didn't keep his emotions at bay and they all hit him at once. He felt tears streaming down his face and he wiped them off immediately but they wouldn't stop pouring. Frustrated with the tears and angry at everything, he kept crying.

"This wouldn't happen if she had just told me that she was failing. I could've helped her, been there for her!" he shouted, not caring one bit if anyone was around to see him talk to himself. "But no, ever since I've met her, she's been keeping things from me. She wouldn't tell me why we can't be together, not even when we already started dating. She hid her probation and her shokugeki with Azami. And even if what Gin is saying is true, I wouldn't know 'cause she never told me. It's like she never trusted me with anything. Damn it, even when she got expelled, she kept it from me until the last minute!" Joichiro shouted, throwing the rocks he'd pick up from the ground. The wind picked up and blew his hair away from his face. He ignored it as his anger heated up his entire being.

"Everyone freaking knew except for me! And that was supposed to be for my sake somehow? Damn it, Hinata!" His voice echoed throughout the field. Apart from a few birds chirping in the distance, no one seems to care. "My father was right. I never should've met you! You were a distraction and now instead of working on my dish for the competition, I'm screaming at the damn sky!" As if mocking him, the sky suddenly dimmed and poured rain. "I hate you! I hate you so much," he breathed out, his throat closing up as he felt hot tears and cold rain ran down his face.

Do you really mean that? He could hear Hinata's voice as him in his mind. Joichiro squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "We both know I don't," he whispered. He could feel his anger fading away fast. "I love you. I always have, always will." He paused. "But you're gone. There's nothing I could do about it." Yes, there is, his conscience returned, replacing her voice. Think about it.

"What?" Joichiro whispered as he stared at the sky. The rain continued to pour heavily and every inch of his uniform is already soaked. The answer came to him moments later. "I should leave Totsuki and be with her," he said, standing up. "That's it," he whispered. Can you really do that? "If that's what it takes, then yes, I can leave all this behind. Maybe I can even leave tonight."

Joichiro ran out of the field, hoping he's running in the right direction. The muddy ground made it difficult to run as he avoided the tree roots and branches. The cold February air made him shiver as he sprinted out of the forest. Hopping over the railing, Joichiro found himself in a paved road. He immediately realized where he ended up and ran again towards Polar Star.

It took him a while to arrive at the dorm. If the rain hadn't drenched his clothes, Joichiro was sure his sweat would've. Breathless, he rushed inside. I'll face Fumio-san's wrath later for walking in with muddy shoes, he thought as he went towards the kitchen, hoping he'll find Gin there.

"Gin," he called out, panting as he pushed open the door.

Inside the kitchen, Gin and Akiko were in the middle of a shokugeki. The man in question immediately looked up and smiled at him. "Oi, Joichiro! Where the hell have you been?" he asked, stepping towards him. "You should join us," Gin said, grinning. "I'm about to beat Akiko."

"Hey! That's not true!" Akiko shouted. Gin laughed.

Joichiro fell silent as he looked at their smiling faces. The smell of spices, seared meat, grilled vegetables, and seasoning filled the kitchen. I can't leave all of this, he thought. Gin was right. This is where I should be.

"Earth to Joichiro?" Gin asked, looking at him with concern. "Will you be joining us?"

"I think I left my knives at the hall," Joichiro said.

Gin chuckled. "They're in your room. I brought them home after you left," he said.

"Thanks, but maybe next time. I have to take a bath," Joichiro said, looking down at his dripping wet uniform.

"Sure," Gin said, giving him a knowing look. Joichiro started to walk away. "Oh, uhm, have you thought about…what we talked about?" he said, closing the door behind him.

Joichiro nodded. "I'm taking care of it. For real, this time," he said.

"That's good," Gin said. "Are you alright?"

"I am. But as a favour, can you promise me that we won't talk about her anymore? Not even mention her name," Joichiro said. He could see the hesitation in Gin's face. "Please," he added.

Gin sighed. "Okay, I promise. But are you sure you're okay?"

Joichiro smiled at Gin. "Never been better," he said.

For the few weeks after that day, Joichiro had been doing a pretty good job of moving on. No more letters, no more projected frustrations. He still participated in a lot of shokugekis and competitions, but he no longer did them to keep his mind in a constant state of denial or to keep his emotions at bay. If anything, the past few weeks started to feel like everything was back to normal again.

Until one morning, he woke up and for some reason; he could tell something was up. Joichiro tried to shake off the feeling while he prepared for class. It didn't hit him until he saw the calendar. Damn, he thought as he went inside the classroom. Much to Gin's surprise, Joichiro actually attended class on time. He was unusually silent, but Gin just chalked it up to morning lethargy. At least he's in class, Gin thought.

After the first class, Gin thought he'd disappear off to another shokugeki but was consistently surprised throughout the day as Joichiro attended all of the classes. The only different thing was that he became chattier and more annoying as the day progressed, but Gin was too happy for his progress to be pissed. Joichiro left at some point after lunch, ignoring Gin who was calling him and shouting about some important meeting.

Gin watched as Joichiro walked away. He could tell something was wrong with him, but he didn't know what it was. Later that day, as he left his last class, he bumped into Akiko who was putting things into her locker.

"Hey, Otsuka-san," he greeted her.

She smiled at him and closed her locker. "Hey, Dojima-kun! Is something bothering you?"

"It's that obvious, huh?" She nodded, chuckling. "I can't tell what's wrong with Joichiro today. He attended his classes in the morning but then he bolted after lunch. I mean, how could he forget that today's the final deliberation day for the Elite Ten Council? I've been reminding him for weeks. He seemed pretty excited about it until this morning," Gin said, his eyebrows furrowing.

Akiko gasped and reached into her bag to get her planner. "Oh I think I know what it is," she whispered, looking up at Gin who stared at her curiously. "It's her birthday today."

The stress on Gin's face melted away as he everything suddenly made sense. "Right. Damn it, where the hell is he anyway? Have you seen him? We're going to be late for the deliberations."

"Isn't he at the Grand Prix competition? It's not too far from here and it's I think it's almost finished—" Gin didn't even wait for her to finish as he cursed under his breath and sprinted out of the building. "Wait, Gin—!" Akiko shouted, running after him.

He continued to run and turned a corner, heading for Totsuki's main gate. Gin felt someone grab his arm and pull him towards a different direction. "I said, wait!" Akiko shouted, tightly gripping his arm. He skidded to a stop. "If you take the subway, you'll never make it back in time! Come on," she said, taking his hand as she dragged Gin towards the nearest telephone booth.

Gin was partly in a state of shock as Akiko held his hand while they ran. He had no idea where she was taking him, but he just decided to go with the flow and returned her grip on his hand. As they sped across the square, Gin found himself staring at Akiko. Her long, red-orange hair gracefully bounced behind her and her hazel eyes had a sparkle in them that made his heart race.

He shook his head. Now's not the time for this, he thought. Plus, Ayame and I had just parted ways. Well, we weren't exactly together. So does that—

His train of thought was cut off when they stopped in front of a telephone booth. She let go of his hand and rummaged for change in her bag. "I tried to tell you," she said breathlessly as she dialled. "It's faster if you call for a cab. Hello? Yes, thank you. The pickup location is at the Totsuki Academy in…"

Akiko's voice trailed off in Gin's ears as he walked away from the booth. He glanced down at his watch and felt the blood drain from his face. Damn it, Joichiro. If we don't make it to the deliberations, I will strangle you to death with my bare—

"Okay, the cab will meet you at the gate," Akiko said, walking over to where he stood. "Here's the address," she said, handing over a piece of paper. "I can't go with you, but you should really get moving if you want to make it back in time."

"Thank you, Akiko-san," he said, smiling at her.

He noticed her blush slightly. "Yeah, yeah, just go already, you baka!" she said, grinning.

Gin sprinted away, looking back over his shoulder at Akiko once. She waved at him. He found himself smiling despite everything. I hope everything works out, he thought. When he got to the gate, the cab was already there waiting for him. He jumped inside immediately and gave him the address. The car sped forward and rushed through the streets. Gin barely paid attention during the entire trip. His mind was torn between Joichiro plus thoughts of murdering him and the moment he shared with Akiko earlier.

"The winner of the Grand Prix is Saiba Joichiro from Totsuki Academy!" They announced and the room burst into applause. Joichiro smiled and for the briefest moment, he felt happy.

"Saiba-kun! Could we have a word?" One of the reporters said, holding out a recorder. "We're from monthly 'Cooking Empire' and would like an interview—"

"Joichiroooo!" Gin shouted, pushing through the crowd of reporters and onlookers. He was visibly sweating and going by the intense look in his eyes, he clearly wasn't pleased with Joichiro.

"Huh? Oh, hey, Gin! Look, look!" Joichiro said, pointing his thumb at the sign flashing his name. "I won!"

"I don't care that you won!" Gin screamed. What followed was an endless stream of scolding which Joichiro ignored steadfastly as he plugged his ears.

Right after they had awarded him with the trophy, Gin dragged him out of the building and shoved him into the cab which Gin had instructed to wait for him. They arrived at the confirmation by the skin of their teeth. Exhausted and still seething, Gin barely appreciated the entire event and was still drained when they got back to Polar Star.

When the celebration had died down, Joichiro immediately headed for the kitchen. Gin and Azami followed right behind him. "Alright…" Joichiro said, shrugging off his jacket. "Let's have our daily cooking match."

"What're we betting?" Gin asked, much more alive now that he was an hour ago.

"The loser's on bath cleaning duty tomorrow. How's that?" Joichiro asked, taking off his necktie.

"Sounds good," Gin said, taking off his jacket.

"I'll be declining," Azami said, leaning against the counter.

"Hm? Why?" Joichiro asked, rolling up his sleeves. "Oh, I know! You're still dwelling on that loss from the other day, aren't you? How dumb! What's that saying…sensitive people never achieve greatness?" He teased. Azami was clearly getting irritated but stayed silent instead.

"Joichiro, stop teasing him so much," Gin reprimanded Joichiro.

The match was a landslide in favour of Joichiro. Azami went upstairs after the match while Joichiro and Gin stayed behind to clean up.

"I didn't want to say anything," Gin said, leaning on the counter. "But are you okay?"

"Of course, I am. Why wouldn't I be?" Joichiro asked, wiping his hands dry with a clean towel.

"You think I don't see what you've been doing today? Going to class, the competition, forgetting the Elite Ten deliberations, teasing Azami?"

Joichiro stared at him with an unreadable look in his eyes. It disappeared in a blink and was replaced by his usual bright aura. "Come on, Gin. That just sounds like what I do all the time."

"Sensitive people never achieve greatness?" Gin asked. "I've never heard you say that before."

"It's a saying, Gin," Joichiro said, laughing. "It's not exactly a catchphrase."

"Whatever you say," Gin said, sighing. "But it's March 9. We both know what that means."

Joichiro just smiled. "It's just one day, Gin. Cut me some slack. I'm okay, really," he said before grabbing his jacket and necktie. "Let's have another battle tomorrow," Joichiro said as he headed out the door, slinging the jacket and tie over his shoulder.

Moments later, Joichiro found himself staring down an empty piece of paper. "Dear Hinata," he wrote. "I know you haven't replied to my previous letters and I haven't sent another in weeks. But I know it's your birthday today and I just want to wish you a happy birthday. I also wish you well and sincerely hope that you are happy. Yours, Joichiro."

...

Joichiro spent the next few months researching and discovering new cooking techniques, flavours, and recipes that won him numerous shokugekis and competitions. He read numerous books, tried out various dishes around Tokyo and nearby cities, and experimented as much as he could in the kitchen. Not all of them proved to be fruitful though and on the days he'd find himself in somewhat of a block, he'd make up some horrendous dish that was in no way fit for human consumption. His schoolmates in Polar Star would test them and weep, but they'd only laugh at him, thinking he was fooling around. If only they knew the storm brewing in his mind.

They don't understand, he thought as he grinned at them, apologizing for his mistake. No one would.

...

Second year started and he trudged on with his competitions and battles. Creating the winning recipe wasn't easy and it took all of his resolve to never give up. And yet at the end, his opponents would shrug off his win, saying he was a genius and they never stood a chance. That's not exactly fair, he thought as they walked away. But he knew there was nothing he could say to make them realize how much hard work he put into his dishes. They all dismissed him as a genius. And try as he could, Joichiro couldn't help but feel hurt every time. I'm not a genius. I just do my best.

After reading a book on African cuisine, Joichiro slumped on his seat, sighing in frustration. He took out a blank piece of paper and pen. I probably shouldn't, he thought. But he wrote anyway. "Dear Hinata," he wrote down in his letter. "You may not receive this and I know you've never replied. But I need you. More than anything, I need you. If you read this, please answer me. In the past, you were always the calm whenever I found myself in the middle of a storm. Well now I'm going through one and you're not here. I need you more than anything else. Yours, Joichiro."

Adjusting to living in a Buddhist temple wasn't easy for Hinata. But after a few months, she eventually got used to the strict schedule, meditation, rules, and above all, their way of eating. It was a little difficult to adapt to the food aspect, especially whenever she was tasked to cook. Hinata decided to look at the brighter side of things. It's limiting, but it's also forcing her to become more creative or resourceful. She believed that temple food doesn't have to be boring and the monks became fond of her cooking.

One day, instead of heading to the library like she always does, Hinata decided to walk around the mountain. The cold, December air was unforgiving. Thankfully, she wore many layers in anticipation. The streets were covered in snow and there were not a lot of people around. She walked into a temple and took out the incense sticks she had brought with her. Hinata lit the incense sticks and offered a prayer. She prayed for the temple, for her father, and for Joichiro.

The temple was mostly empty and Hinata took her time. When she was done praying, she kept exploring the mountain. Ten months ago, the freezing conditions would've rendered her immobile. But ever since staying at the temple, meditation had helped her immensely. It has also prepared her for situations such as this. Hinata strolled around calmly, thinking about how much her life had changed in the past few months.

I wonder how Joichiro is doing, she thought. She pictured Joichiro walking beside her. It took a while for her memory to process his image. At first, it had been easy to imagine having him around. But as the months passed, her memory would gradually fail her. What took mere seconds at first now took a full minute or two. Losing touch of how he looked, sounded, and felt like unnerved her endlessly and made her heart ache. Clinging to his memory would keep her up on some nights as she desperately tried to remember every inch of his face, how he smiled, talked, and the feel of his arms around her whenever they'd embrace. She found the daydream to be helpful; especially on the days she found it difficult to be somewhere so far from home. Or rather, they helped up until the point she snaps back to reality and realizes that he's not there with her.

As she walked on the snowy path, she could see him strolling casually to her right. His hands in his pockets and his hair loosely tied in a ponytail. I hope you're happy, she imagined telling him. You're probably even greater now. More famous than before. Hinata chuckled, recalling Joichiro's fan club. Oh, before I forget. Happy Birthday, Joichiro.

Hinata smiled, looking to her right. Instead of facing him, she found herself smiling up at a tree. And here's reality, she thought sadly. I should probably head back now.

1997

Joichiro came home to Polar Star one January day after a competition. He won, of course. And his opponents all looked at him with disdain. He tried to shrug it off, but still, he couldn't help but feel out-casted in some way. When he arrived at the living room, Joichiro found Azami, Gin, and Fumio already talking inside. He challenged Gin and Azami to a match which at that point, was already a nightly thing. Joichiro won the match and Gin cursed.

"Even though I lost today, there's still room for improvement next time," Gin said, huffing in frustration. Right, improvement, Joichiro thought, staring at Gin. They're still so eager, he thought, slightly jealous and frustrated. Have I lost that?

Gin looked at him and hummed. "What's wrong, Joichiro?"

He only laughed. "This dorm really is the best!" Joichiro returned to teasing Azami, hoping that Gin doesn't notice anything wrong with him.

The following morning, the participants for BLUE was announced. Joichiro expected a rush of excitement and happiness. But what came over him instead is a wave of dread. He walked with Gin to class and on their way, a bunch of schoolmates congratulated him and showered him with compliments and cheers. He thanked them absent-mindedly. Suddenly, he noticed they were surrounded by a circle of students and right in front of them is one particular student.

"Hey, Saiba, congrats on getting into Blue, but you know…" the guy said. Joichiro couldn't recall his name, but he definitely looked familiar. He could hear the others whisper that the student is a Sawatsubashi heir. I see, he thought as Joichiro listened to the guy ramble on about putting his participation up for grabs in a shokugeki. If you win it by seriously cooking, he thought, scoffing in his mind. The nerve of this guy. Ahh, there it is again. Genius. That name is really getting into my nerves now. Why do they think this all comes naturally for me? My dishes and everything I've achieved were borne out of hard work, blood, sweat, and tears. At times, literally. The gall these douches have to dismiss my achievements as a product of mere genius. I'll show them.

"Let's go, Joichiro. No need to face the likes of—" Gin said, looking away.

"Since he's already said that much, maybe I should show him my full abilities," Joichiro said. He could feel Gin staring at him. "Go and gather up as many people as you want. We'll be doing 'that,'" he paused. Everybody is staring at him now. "The regiment de cuisine!" The students murmured and whispered in shock.

"All right. Well then, go and gather all your friends from your dorm then," the guy said.

"No need," Joichiro said, feeling a deep-seated anger building up in him. "I alone am enough."

"You don't mean," they exclaimed. "He plans to defeat close to fifty opponents all on his own?!" Yes, Joichiro thought. Come at me with everything you've got. "Seriously cook" against me. Catch up, for the love of everything. Catch up to me.

"Joichiro, why are you…?" Gin asked.

"Hey, you mind not interfering?" Joichiro said, looking at Gin over his shoulder. "I'm just going to shut them up," he said.

Joichiro gave them a week to prepare for the match. He slaved in the kitchen the entire time. Everyone in Polar Star, especially Gin and Azami, tried to help him out but he shut them out completely. I know they mean well, he said. But I am desperate for someone to finally catch up to me. If it means losing that BLUE participation, then so be it. I can't keep going through this wasteland alone. Hinata, where are you now that I need you the most? He thought, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the kitchen counter. Joichiro was alone in the kitchen. It's already three in the morning. Dishes, pots, pans, and ingredients surrounded him. You promised me you'll always be here for me! He shouted in his mind, wiping away tears that had begun to fall.

It's been a year since you left, he thought. And it's getting more difficult to keep going without you by my side. I know I promised you that I'll keep you in my heart and that it doesn't matter if you're not here physically. But I don't know where my heart is anymore. I don't know where I am anymore. Gin and the rest of them, they won't understand me like you did. But you just hung me out to dry.

Hinata stared out into the river that gushed in front of her. Travelling to Kumano Forest took her a while, but the peaceful environment was well worth the trip. One of the monks in the temple talked to her a week ago while they harvested leaves and vegetables from the garden.

"Something is holding you back," she said. Hinata looked up at the monk who had been silent since they started working. "You've been here for almost a year now. You know you have to let go of your ego in order to achieve peace." Hinata stayed silent. "What brought you here, Hinata?"

"I told you before, Obousan," she said, smiling politely at the monk who looked at her curiously. "I need to study medicinal cuisine…"

The monk only smiled at her. "What really brought you here?"

Hinata looked down at the damaged leaves. "There's someone I'm trying to forget in Tokyo," she confessed. "I loved him very much, but I had to leave and it hurt him."

"Have you apologized for what you've done?" Hinata nodded. "Then why are you still holding on to such an unhealthy guilt?"

"I don't think I deserve his forgiveness, obousan," Hinata said, looking away.

"Hmmm…so much 'I's," she said, pausing to look at her. Hinata continued to look down at the plants. "If you are truly sorry and have sought forgiveness, then there is no need to dwell on your mistake."

"But, obousan…" Hinata said, looking up at the monk.

"You are a good person, Hinata. One bad action does not make you an evil person." She said, smiling at her. "Let go and focus on the present. Move forward with your life, but be mindful to keep yourself from hurting someone again."

"And how about him?" She whispered.

The monk looked around at the plants in front of them. "Do you see these plants? Winter has not been so kind to them," she said, touching the damaged leaves. "But they still grew. And soon, winter will pass and they will grow even more." Hinata watched as the monk plucked the leaves. "Just have faith. Like these plants, he will be alright. And so will you."

The sound of the flowing river rushed back to her ears as she snapped back to the present. Sitting down on a wide rock, Hinata closed her eyes and began to imagine Joichiro in front of him. It took a little longer than usual but eventually, she could imagine him sitting in front of her. His long hair grazing his shoulders, that one strand hanging in front of his face which smiled up at her as he sat casually on the ground, unfazed by the dirt and bit of snow. The warm, morning sun streamed through the trees, casting a glow on his face.

"Hi, Joichiro," she imagined saying.

At the exact same moment, more than 500 kilometres away from where Hinata is, Joichiro stands in the middle of the shokugeki arena, facing down fifty students. The audience area is packed with students who eagerly await how the match will turn out. Even the professors, lecturers, and the headmaster are watching. There hasn't been a regiment de cuisine like this in Totsuki's entire history.

"Well, are you ready, Saiba-senpai?" Sawatsubashi-san asked him, mockingly. Forty plus chefs stood behind him and they all glared at Joichiro, eager to knock him down.

He merely chuckled. "I think the question is…" he said, tying up his hair into a ponytail. "Are you?" Joichiro said menacingly.

"It's been a month since I've last talked to you like this," Hinata thought, still imagining Joichiro in front of her. "And it's been a year and a week since I've last seen you. But I think I need to let go of you now."

"Why? I'm in your imagination," Joichiro said. "This can't hurt anyone."

"It's hurting me," Hinata said. "And I think, I've been letting this daydream hurt me for a long time because I couldn't forgive myself for what I've done to you. But they're right. I can't keep holding on to this guilt because it keeps me from moving forward with my life." Joichiro stares at her. "I'll always feel bad for what I did, but I can't let it swallow me whole anymore."

"So you're letting me go?" He asked.

"The winner is Saiba Joichiro!" Ayame Kanda announces through the speakers for the nth time.

"Hey," Joichiro calls out to the group of chefs he still hasn't faced. "Let's make this go along quicker. Come at me ten at a time. I'll take you all on." He said, beckoning them as he curled his finger threateningly.

This got them all riled up and ten chefs immediately ran towards the arena. "Don't underestimate us, asshole!" They shouted. He presented dish after dish and crushed them all consistently. They stared at him, a mix of fear and jealousy evident in their faces.

"This isn't any easier in my imagination, you know," Hinata said. "I can't keep imagining you like this. It isn't healthy. The thought of you haunts me wherever I go, but it's been a year. I have to—"

"Move on, I know," Joichiro said. "Well, why don't you already?"

"You know the answer to that…" Hinata whispered.

"Because this daydream is all that you have left of me," he said. She stayed silent. "But, Hinata, we both know you can't keep this going. This isn't living."

"No, it isn't," Hinata said, resigned. "So I guess, this is it…I'm saying goodbye again."

"I'm already gone, Hinata," Joichiro whispered. "You just have to let me go."

"Hey, you, send the next one out," Joichiro said, glaring at Sawatsubashi. "I'll take them on."

He shook his head. "No, I mean…I—After all…" He stuttered, cowering away from Joichiro. Sweat dripping down his face.

"Come on now," Joichiro said, sauntering closer to him. "That's not how this goes." He grabbed his shirt and pulled him close. "Despite having zero inkling of just how difficult it is, trailblazing new paths, you dare dismiss me as just a genius. Must be nice to be so carefree, huh?" Sawatsubashi looked at him with fear. "With that half-ass resolve, did you really shout at me to 'cook seriously,' huh?" He paused, scowling at him. "If you don't plan on putting out a plate, then just quit already." Joichiro let go of his jacket, staring him down instead. "I'll give you your last rites," he said, his low voice echoing throughout the silent arena.

"Goodbye, Joichiro," Hinata whispered. He smiled at her.

Hinata slowly opened her eyes. Joichiro was no longer in front of her. She waited for the excruciating pain that she expected to hit her like a gunshot. But as she watched the river, she only felt lightness in her entire being. Is this what it feels like? This is…

"Isn't this kinda…" one of the students whispered.

"Yeah, it was terrifying…"

"This isn't how you normally win…"

"This is different from the Saiba we knew…"

They all whispered in hushed tones, staring at the arena. All fifty chefs were sprawled across the floor, defeated. Joichiro stood above all of them, removing his hair tie as he looked down at them with disdain.

They had called him all sorts of names during the span of the shokugeki. At first, they called him a pioneer, a gourmet trailblazer, revolutionary, a true genius… But by the end of that historical regiment de cuisine, only one name can be heard across the entire hall…

"Asura," they called him.

"Peace," Hinata whispered, closing her eyes once more. "Finally."

So there's chapter 10!

I really hope you guys like it!

Please leave a comment if you have any question, complaint, suggestion, if you want to hug me or rip me to shreds. All welcome, seriously HAHA

Also, I hope the bit at the end where Hinata is in Kumano while Joichiro is in Tokyo at the same time isn't confusing. I didn't really know how to convey it much. I can see it from a film scene perspective, and I tried my best to relay that to writing.

Anyway, there, I'll do my best to upload the next chapter faster!