A/N: WARNING! This chapter makes a few references towards the sexual encounters of our silly two, a reminder that Alistair is a red bloodied man and is once again near the object he desires. Not graphic and not smutty, I hope. Just be warned that the word 'rock' is used…dirty!

Thank you to the Followill boys and crew with songs about Milk and Rodeo Kings and all the new fans of this story. This chapter is dedicated to the word 'whilst'…I miss you old friend.

CHAPTER 10 - ANDRASTE

Alistair had left Elissa's chambers feeling like a huge weight had been heaved from his heart leaving it free and much more easy to beat. But something old craved its attention now urging its host to dust off the debris that had gathered pushing his desires too far, too early. He searched through his mind checking the events of the past few hours; eagerly searching to recall if he had said anything that would have offended her or more importantly if she showed any signs of forgiveness. Distant and hopeful signs that she still could look upon him as hers, a smile perhaps, a giggle or even the innocent tuck of a loose curl behind her ear that she did when she got nervous around him, blushing and moving away where he could not follow but allowing him to watch her silhouette through the canvas of her tent. Walking along the corridor he began to undo the leather belt at his waist, fumbling with the loops and clasps he gave up with a sigh, defeated by the simple task choosing instead to get to his rooms as fast as he could.

He had paced outside her door for an hour before he developed the courage to actually open it, pausing for what seemed like an eternity as he gripped at the door handle. He seemed glad if not nervous to be finally inside and past the strangely over angry and heavily scented mage that guarded the entrance all evening.

The final results of the evening became staggering to his will and morale and he felt a slight spring in his tired feet before he caught himself. He ran his hand through his short dirty blond hair as he made his way back to his own rooms, thankful that the rest of the household were all a slumber and had no sights of him pacing outside like an imbecile and then leaving her rooms looking so dishevelled. He was suddenly glad he had kept the belt on.

He paused and brought his hands down along his flushed cheeks stopping them to hover over his mouth. He toyed with the idea of turning around and returning to her for a few minutes and even grabbed the cold stone wall for support as he turned back to face the direction he had just come. The familiar voice inside him reasoned with his thoughts and wheeled him full circle and back now on a path to his own quarters. He continued onwards along the quiet corridors as the wall-mounted torches began to flicker with his movement aggravating the small gusts of wind the castle corridors pocketed at that time of year.

He walked along mournfully watching the flames flicker thinking about the way they had talked peacefully for hours with only the occasional awkward silence. They had even managed to watch the sunrise before she fell asleep gently and away from him closely tucked in by his feet. Alistair shuddered as he knew that her trust would have to be earned back again and although he had explained it all to her he would have to put in a few years of work even for him to be trusted as a friend. He sighed loudly.

Idiot

Trust…building trust again felt like being back at square one and the sudden realisation of the long road ahead for him stung in his chest, it seemed presumptuous to consider that she would give him a road that he might follow and it could still yet be one in a very different direction.

With each blink of his eye upon her she grew more beautiful as she slept. She was a little paler and thinner but she was still the Elissa he knew and worshipped from afar. Her hair was longer and darker, naturally curling around her shoulders sculpting the outline of her face like a feathered blanket, shielding her from his wanting glare and intentions. He watched her breathing steadily as his own slowed; the rise of her frame peacefully goading his eyes to travel down her arms and take in the sight of her cushioned hips and toned stomach. The nightgown she wore did little to hide her, as he knew all too well what lay underneath it. The time continued to race away as he pulled his stare from its pathway to where her breasts were hidden.

His mouth felt so dry…

He cursed himself and tried to get up and leave but found that he was far too attached to the idea that she had allowed him to be here, what if he left now and he never got another chance to be this close to her? He had relaxed into a familiar peace with her and he relished in it but he gently shook himself to the thought that she wasn't by his side but simply less threatening then when they found her a week before. He tried to balance in his favour the fact that as the truth was finally out there in its painful entirety she hadn't wanted him to leave but could he afford to hold on to that small hope? Was it hope? Maybe it was his own needing to be asleep beside her and not at the opposite end of a stranger's bed? His mind raced with questions and scenarios and he found his hand gripping onto his loose laced collar as his heart shot pangs of pain through his chest, he knew he had no rights to her and when he started this quest he knew she would never be his again...but he still could not shake the feeling that she looked at him like she used to, a twinkle of embarrassment and shyness wrapped up with a smile that knew he would do anything for her…even leave her.

That terrible decision will always outweigh anything good.

He tried in vain to rid himself of the bad feelings creeping over his gut and willed himself back to focus on his suspicions in her facial expressions and mannerisms towards him in her room, the tone of her voice the position of her hands… If she hated him all these years for spurning her so…then she must still carry around her the love that bore it surely?

He reprimanded himself, just the thought made him dizzy. She had awakened this yearning inside him when they had first decided to lie with each other all those years ago and he still had not managed to switch it off. They both knew that there would be no going back or no others.

First and last…first and only. That was the plan.

They continued to explore and grow with each encounter, educating each other in desires and daylong fantasies, eager for nighttimes and the campsite they made a home. She had turned his shy and ignorant chantry boy into a man who would have needs for her until he took his last breath.

He was struggling with being so close; he never saw this coming and her earthly scent wafted past and over him as she slept, reminding him…taunting him. He felt like he couldn't afford to smile, too poor to attempt it and yet he tried to stop his mouth spreading into a fevered grin as she slept near him, his body trembling with the rekindled feelings and failing restraint to not reach out and touch the leg that was closest to him. He wondered if one kiss would be too much to ask and he pulled back his stuttering hand as his sinking heart answered the question for him.

A kiss on her lips never ended at that, he was always left with a longing and hungry need to swoop her up and carry her off. It was always made worse by her returning gestures granting him permission to take her as wildly as he would like. He could never remember a time when he had not caught her eyes across a room without wanting to stride across and claim her as his, marking his territory from all the other circling vultures. She was his little bit of nobility covered in dirt and armed with a pair of bloodied daggers charming all with her beautiful smile. People would look to her as he watched her grow from a Teyrns daughter to a mover of men. They would listen to her stirring words and he would feel the room light up with inspired confidence and determination, and all the time he should have been listening…he wanted only to silence her with his mouth.

That passion…

Passionate never quite covered how they used to be and even in the darkness of the deep roads he had wanted nothing more than to cradle her up and press her body against any rock that would support them as he took her. The heat between them always glistened, as they became one, panting and stifling moans with hands and lips trying to silence yells of sensual fulfilment before they echoed through the tense and lust saturated air. When they were done and their bodies could not take holding it off any longer they would succumb to the waiting white light of devotion and a life-promising climax. And he never tired of it.

I want her…

This same usual memory tortured him as well as comforted him in the past yet it became more real every time it visited. This was his punishment and one he would have taken gladly had he not laid eyes on her again. Now that he had, the burning need for her returned with a vengeance and any hope that he dangled in front of his soul could only be seen as more self-indulged pain. By telling himself that there was no chance he was protected from her rebuttal of his still warm and smouldering affections towards her.

After she left, Alistair tried his best to carry on as normal, saving his despair for his private rooms. To everyone else he would be the normal Alistair but his refection would always see that he was lonely and in pain. His heart was just as cracked as hers must have been but he had to remain strong. He did not have the luxury to take his frustration out on straggling Darkspawn and even when Vigils Keep was under siege three years ago he rushed from the battle back to where nothing could remind him of her so easily. He had half hoped to find her six months after they had parted but she was not there. She had gone to Orlais and a replacement had been fetched to take her place, a weak replacement he was found to be. Amaranthine was now lost and slowly starting to rebuild whilst the keep had taken an even worse battering than it had before he arrived. He learnt then how much his country needed her and that in comparison to her; a king was but a figurehead to wear on a coin. At his request the wardens returned to Highever as the last of the surrounding villagers moved further a-field to Denerim and Redcliffe. Elissa was sent back to take over her old role in her old home and five months after she arrived the people flocked back to their burnt out homes in the surrounding villages rebuilding with pride before the coming winter. Wasting no time Elissa had left for Orzammer two months after the winter past and no word had been heard from Highever of her whereabouts. Reports had ceased from the wardens completely and the officials Denerim had sent were frozen out. He would have feared the worst but Highever did not seem worried at all it seemed that she was still in contact with them at least. Five months flew past and a report from the kings own guard informed Denerim that a small army of men and wardens were spotted manoeuvring over the Imperial Huy and toward the Coastlands, without a moment to lose he mounted a small band of men and headed North.

A week later and she was now in Redcliffe, enlightened to the evil behind her last four years and sleeping peacefully in a room seven doors down from him…could it be that easy?

He opened the door to his rooms and hurriedly shut it behind him, gripping onto the wooden panels pushing it closed. He began to breath in the cooler chamber that was to hold him for the rest of that night and he fought with everything he had to not go back and tell her how he felt. Images of her broken and wrecked body in his arms outside the castle returned to pacify any positive encounters that going back to her room might end in.

He slowly released his grip from the door and took a step forward. He knew he would be staying there now and the look of terror on his face turned into relief, he had won a very small victory and a small part of him was proud. He made a beeline for his turned down bed and slumped down stretching his legs in front of him attempting to remove his boots by the heels of the opposite feet. He pulled his shirt up and over his head discarding it to the floor to rest with his now limp footwear.

He ran his hands over his stiff and tense neck feeling every inch as tired as he should be when his eyes suddenly caught his field bedroll upon a large wooden table decorated with various paperwork maps and books. He took a deep breath in and stood; stepping over his now drabbled clothing he made his way over to the large white roll of cotton and leather. He looked it over and saw that the tight wraps that held it strong and securely rolled had not been tampered with and his eyes closed lightly as if to pray that the quarry he always stashed there would still be so. He reached into the middle with an eager hand and searched out for a slight bump in the material.

With a sudden grasp upon a small cold item his eyes whipped open and he pulled his hand and wrist out clutching a small treasure that brought a waft of joy over his troubled features. No matter what happened, or what event would always tick away at him and remove an inch of his good nature, this item would always be there, tucked within his bedroll or bedside cabinet. Every night it would come out and every morning it would go back. He unrolled his fist and brought his other hand up to support a slight silver neck chain and its tattered locket. He traced the cracks of the delicate repairs and the original outlines of his mothers locket as he always did and walked intuitively back to his bed. He sat once more and played with the lockets clasp that he held so delicately in his hand, he opened its heart and was greeted by an aged women's smiling portrait proudly guarding a single tiny rose petal that sat loosely in the open space opposite it. The two symbols held so much power over him and as he glanced lovingly at his mother's image watching over a salvaged rose-petal, he shut the locket and blew the candle out next to his bed. Still gripping on to it carefully he laid his head on his pillow and closed his eyes. Whatever monster was creeping around inside him trying to pollute his chances at happiness once more, would not win tonight, not as long as he had the locket…and a symbol of what would never be broken. Dying memories of the evening now faded away as he fell slowly into the fade and to sleep.

As he moved to sit back down on the bed reassuring her that he was not leaving Redcliffe he watched as she manically tried to tuck a lose curl behind her ear, pushing herself backwards to the far end of the bed fighting not to blush…allowing him room to sit and keep her company.

"There it is!" he shouted as his eyes flew open

"There it is!"

U:U:U:U:U:U:

The dining room within Redcliffe castle was smaller than you would presume. When the Guerin's were not entertaining huge banquets or festivals the new Arlessa would move the dining room to one of the smaller back rooms that they now occupied. A large six seated carved wooden table stood in the middle and the serving trays and stands stood to the back by the doors and windows, flowers were in abundance but did nothing to hide the smell of the Arl's daily intake of smoked kipper. Leliana sat to the left of her husband who played with his dish and took the top seat, Alistair had no intentions of reworking the seating arrangements and whilst the seat was offered to him he declined and chose to sit opposite Leliana instead. A place was laid at the end of the table but not yet taken and Alistair stared at it with concern as Leliana probed the reasoning behind the sudden bizarre outing the king had planned for their captive that afternoon.

"Fishing? Alistair you plan to ask Elissa, to go fishing with you? Why on earth would any woman say yes to that?"Alistair prized his eyes from the far seat and grabbed at a piece of buttered toast that had gone cold before him.

"Yes. Don't look at me like I am insane, Leliana, I can feel your boggled eyes and they are indeed chilling. She needs normalcy and I hear that fishing is about as normal and peaceful as you can get"

"For a man, yes." She giggled in amazement.

"Could she skewer you with a fishing rod do you think?" Tegan's input silenced the room and a serving boy placing eggs upon the sideboard dropped the hot containers lid in astonishment to the outcome of his eavesdropping, the clang of its metal upon the stone floor rang out and highlighted the shock of the question.

Leliana and Alistair stopped eating their breakfast and stared at Teagan with disbelief.

"Oh do come on, you are all thinking it."

"I can assure you, dear husband I am not" Leliana replied, a tiny dot of rage bubbling beneath her calm surface. "I have warned you about listening to court gossip and will remind you that she is…calm. You know her more than any of those stuffy children at court; trust me, your concerns of fishing rod genocide are not warranted. Ask Alistair. Did she not seem fine when you left her this morning?"

Leliana winked at Alistair as his head whipped up in surprise at her question. Nothing ever got past her it would seem. A giggle was heard from a serving girl behind Teagan and Leliana put on her official face as her stunned and misunderstanding husband gave her a silent stare of restraint. She scrunched up her nose indicating that they would be fine to serve themselves from now and as the door closed behind the last servant, Leliana returned to her line of questioning. Always one for romantic kindling and gossip she quite clearly had made her mind up to fix the void in which her two close friends had fallen. Alistair looked at her with pity at first and then back to his breakfast before she could read that it would be hopeless to even try. He always thought her worldly and wise in the way of hurt and betrayal but now he wondered if she saw hope with the two of them, Then perhaps she was just naieve.

"She was asleep when I arrived and asleep when I left." He grunted.

"That's not what Jarin says"

"Jarin?"

"The Mage who saved her life"

"Yes...well he is weird and smells like a woman's laundry draw. Never trust a man who wears more jewellery than you do."

"Mature comeback as always Alistair"

The two grinned at each other across the table as children would whilst they teased each other and Teagan decided it was a good time to display his own feelings on the matter.

"So the waters have not yet been tested? Tread carefully Alistair"

"All is resolved Teagan, trust me there will be no bludgeoning with bait...just fishing." Alistair brushed his words off and carried on with his breakfast.

"If you say so, just…be careful" Teagan was not convinced.

"I saw her skewer a tainted rat with her toothbrush once...maybe we should make that item contraband too…fishing rods and toothbrushes" Alistair said stuffing his third round of toast into his mouth and dabbing it lightly with a napkin.

"Did she indeed, well the cook would love to see how she did that!"

Alistair smiled as Leliana joined the teasing. The red head folded her own napkin and placed it on her empty plate, folding her arms and locking her probing eyes on Alistair.

"So…would you like to be alone on this escapade or do you require company?"

Alistair smirked

"Now…are you asking for my safety, Arlessa? or are you worried that we will come back with grass stains? Maybe you are hoping perhaps? Hopeless romantic aren't you? Not everything can be fixed with a dashing smile and a white horse you know. And I should know my smile is the most dashing."

"Well, it definitely will not if you take her fishing Alistair! She may very well live on the road and camp with men but she is a woman after all. You never did capture seduction, I wager that she will not go fishing...try hunting or…"

"…What has romance or seduction to do with recuperation, my love?" Teagan interrupted eager to have this matter come to a close. He truly did wish she would not get so involved in what was now a matter of state. Alistair's betrothal was being bid on in the most noble houses of Ferelden and putting support behind a player that was in no way favoured would place the Guerins in a sticky situation indeed. "That is all it is, let us not get carried away. Alistair said he is taking her for some fresh air and peace and I for one think that a good idea. Leave the man alone my dear…have some more porridge"

Teagan watched the two as he pushed the smoked fish around on his plate pretending not to notice his wife silently fume as she glared at him. Teagan had to admit that Alistair did look better this morning he seemed almost free but he hoped it was not false hope that dwindled in his mind. Being in love is one thing but an attachment to Elissa was to be a battle for his official posting and anyone else who agreed. The court would not take the news of the king and Elissa being alone and at Redcliffe very well and he was sure that his name was mud already. He knew all too well what the fishing idea was all about. The lake beside the castle was secluded and empty after the morning rush for supplies, and its serene and picturesque surroundings were perfect for trying to get closer and gaining some lost ground. Alistair was king but still a man and Teagan grunted as he thought that he would have done exactly the same thing if it were he.

"How long do we have the pleasure of your company, Alistair?"

"As long as they like Teagan" Leliana answered rapidly.

"Do you mean my company Teagan or Elissa's?" Alistair could feel his agitation climbing up the hairs on the back of his neck. What had this woman done that would turn the ones she helped by laying down her life for them against her? He was sick of hearing this from the ones that he trusted.

Teagan dabbed at his mouth and leant back into his chair before looking Alistair straight in the eyes.

"Very well. Elissa's."

"Teagan!" Leliana was aghast. Had her husband forgotten so easily how close a friend she was to her?

"Please Leliana, you even felt the wrath of her anger last night. The staff are on edge and the king here is pining away over the wrong woman!"

"Wrong woman? Please do tell us who the right woman for me is. Do you have a stake on the poor brats they have lined up for me back at Denerim? What have you to lose by allowing me to do with my own life what I please? Eamon was fine with my wishes so why not you?" Alistair had now risen from his seat and was leaning towards a seated and regretful Teagan, fury pouring out of him and upon the seated Arl who listened to the words with shame "The staff are on edge because their 'Hero of Ferelden' was at deaths door in their own home after they themselves dragged her in to it! She had ordered them to stand down and they did not…for her own good! What? You think so little of her that you conclude they are frightened of her? Teagan…what has happened to you? Who has rattled from my eyes the man I sought out to help me?"

Teagen gripped at the chairs arms regretting having started the conversation, he thought of all the names listed on the courting registrar but even he could not find one that wasn't selfish, spoilt or rotten. Alistair was right, again and as he played with apologies in his head the dining room door shot open and slammed backwards into the tea chest that used to sit so prettily as an ornamental piece of furniture beside it.

"My…L-Liege and L-Lord…"

A portly man dressed in green grabbed at his heavy chest trying to grab the breaths that would relay the message he was so desperate to deliver.

"Good grief Barrett…spit it out man!" Teagan leaped from his chair and raced to the messenger in obvious distress. Alistair moved towards them and Leliana grabbed at her skirt folds ready to jump into the action she was sure accompanied this interruption.

"Grey Wardens…a company of Grey Wardens... is r-riding towards us. They have sent word ahead to get things ready for their arrival Sire and with it this message for the King…oh I f-forgot to b-bow" The overweight messenger tried in vain to bow and ended up collapsing with the effort. Alistair rushed forward before the portly herald got himself into further medical trouble and relieved the scroll that was being waved manically towards him.

"Don't worry about that man, rest. A company of Grey Wardens, how many exactly?"

Alistair's mind was working overtime what on earth was a gathering of wardens doing in Ferelden; maybe they were Highever greys in search of their old leader? He hoped so. He unwound the parchment and read the short message within.

The Second Warden of Orlais and Seneschal to Orlais Tahret Fregain

Requests an audience with the peoples king of Ferelden and Grey Warden Alistair Theirin. Please note that the presence of Warden Commander Elissa Cousland is also demanded and the issue is forced upon

her by any means should she decline.

"Fifteen your highness including the second warden from Orlais."

"Orlais? Alistair what does this mean?" Teagan sounded wary of an Orlesian army travelling so freely on Ferelden soil.

"I do not know Teagan, this troubles me as much as you. Leliana…wake Elissa and ready her. Tell her what and who is coming and show her this, she will understand. Teagan…we have some arrangements to make and I truly do need to know now whose side you are on."

Leliana did not wait to hear the conversation between her husband and Alistair. She jumped over the exhausted messenger and straight up the hallway to the stairwell and second floor.

"My king? I am wounded that you need to ask, forgive my intrusions they are born only out of concern for you."

Alistair placed a hand on Teagan's shoulder as he reassured him that this new news brought forgiveness and an end to their earlier disputes, this should have made Teagan happy yet it left a foreboding sensation in his gut.

"I know that Teagan but I need you to uphold her claim on her role in Denerim. Side with her if I ...if I am not here and keep her focused guiding her as an Arlessa, you will find the documents in my saddle bags upstairs…swear it to me, as a friend and not your king."

"I swear it, but Alistair I do not understand, why would you leave?"

"Before King, Teagan, I am first a Warden and one who does not defy a second warden…which I feel I may be about to do. Let us just hope that I don't drag Ferelden down with me, remember her for what she did here four years ago…what she would do again for you even if you kicked out after I was gone."

"All for a woman? Alistair…no"

"No, not for a woman…for her! She is Ferelden! do you not see it Teagan? A noble born who shed her roots and dug in with the very poorest of us! Every Dwarf, Elf, Mage man and woman owe her something and they depend on her so much that they look to her to show them the way. If I died tomorrow they would move someone else in and only record my name in a history book but if you take her away…they would crumble, build statues to her and mourn her yearly. Ferelden is not done with her yet…and you know it, she is their Andraste, Teagan!"

The words began to sink in and Teagan stuttered in confidence but a sudden understanding gripped at his instructions." I do not know why they are coming here, Alistair, but I feel as you do that she will not want to go with them… and if she does not...I will not make her"

Alistair beamed at Teagan and they laughed nervously each grabbing a struggling arm of the collapsing messenger so as to pull him back to his panting feet.

"I swear it" Teagan finally uttered as Alistair nodded his approval back at him in a silent thank you.

"Good…now, lets get this man and me some morning mead, Maker knows I am going to need it"