EPOV

"Edward... will you sleep with me?"

I was speechless. Literally speechless. For the first time in over eighty years, my mind could not construct a single sentence, and nor could my lips form a single word. I didn't know where to look; I couldn't meet her eyes, and nor could I violate her by staring at her body. I tried looking away at the walls, but then I worried that I was insulting her by averting my gaze. Would she think I looked away because I found her unattractive, rather than seeing the truth; that I found it utterly impossible to reason with such perfection laid bare before me?

This was torture. This was hell. I didn't know what to say, or what to do, or what to think. She was offering herself to me, but also taking herself away. Had she asked in any other way, for any other reason, for me to make love to her, then I would have abandoned my romantic fantasies of weddings and honeymoons, and done whatever she wished, but... despite my promise to refuse her nothing, I couldn't do this. I couldn't let our first time be tainted by her conviction that I didn't love her.

I was still reeling from that. Not only the horror that despite everything she still did not believe I loved her, but the astonishing depths of her obsession with me. She had thought that all of this was nothing but a charade, a humiliating, insulting deception. She had believed that I was using her, manipulating her, lying to her, and she had decided that it was still worth it, if it was the only way to be with me. She had thought it was better to be mocked, deceived and degraded, rather than be without me. But she was still willing to leave, to be alone for eternity, for my sake.

Of course, I would have done this, all this and more for her, had the situations been reversed, but I owed her so much, I had taken so much from her, and I loved her with an inescapable devotion. I had been learning to accept the concept of her caring for me also, though it was near-impossible to believe that she could have forgiven me for everything I had done to her, but to learn that she harboured a love of such magnitude as to rival my own, was staggering.

And hearing that, not only did she forgive me for what I did, but that she was glad, that this was the life she would have chosen, that losing her family, her life, her humanity, was, to her, a small price to pay to be with me, even if my love was only a lie, even if she would only have me for a few short weeks...

Yes, I was utterly, completely speechless. Not only that, but her vulnerability, her lust, and her need, were calling to me in unfamiliar but demanding ways. I wanted to say yes. I wanted to take her, in every possible way. I wanted to claim her. I wanted to convince myself that it was not unconscionable to grant her request now, and deal with all of the misunderstandings later.

I desperately tried to calm my arousal, trying to remind myself that I wanted our first time to be pure of all doubt, not weighed down by the sorrow that still lurked in her crimson eyes. Eyes that were gradually cooling, losing their fire to be replaced by hurt and rejection. I could see her mentally and emotionally preparing herself for me to turn her down, getting ready to leave under a cloud of shame and regret. I had to act now, had to do something, but what? What could I do to make this right?

BPOV

As I waited for a reply that was distressingly slow in coming, I began to rethink the wisdom of what I had done. Edward's tenderness had been the final straw, the one thing that had finally caused my conscience to surface. During the too-short days when I had been anticipating this moment, trying to work out exactly what to say with him, the thought had occurred to me that there was one more thing I wanted to do before I left, and I had decided that this one thing, at least, I wanted to do honestly.

My plan had followed on from that. It had seemed so sensible at the time, but now? Well, maybe it hadn't been the best idea to try to have a serious conversation and seduce Edward at the same time. As the silence between us stretched and lengthened, I ached to retrieve the sheet and cover myself, but I decided that, on the off chance that my plan might still work, I would try to brazen it out. I stared at his face, hoping for some clue as to what he was thinking, and saw indecision. I hoped that was a good sign, that it meant he hadn't rejected my plea out of hand.

God, why wasn't he talking? I mean, I know I surprised him, but he's got a vampire brain! It's been nearly three minutes, even a human would have said something by now.

He's going to say no. He's just thinking how to let me down easy. That must be it.

The waiting is killing me though. If he's going to let me down, he could at least get it over with.

He opened his mouth and drew breath to speak. Here it comes, I thought.

"Bella, you asked me not to speak until you were finished speaking, and it was hard, but I did that for you. Would you do the same for me now, no matter what you think of what I say?"

I nodded, fairly sure I had a good idea of what he was going to tell me.

"Firstly though, could you answer me one question, please?"

I nodded again, not quite trusting my voice yet, wondering what more there was that I could say. Hadn't I told him everything already?

"You say that you've known all along that I was lying about loving you. What made you think that? How did you come to that conclusion Bella? I just can't understand what I could possibly have done to make you think I was lying."

Ah, now I understood. I had hurt his pride by seeing through his, admittedly flawless, acting, and he wanted to know how. Well, that at least was a question I could answer easily.

"Don't feel bad Edward, honestly, you have been flawlessly convincing. Really, I would have believed you, except, I'd already seen how you really felt about me, under circumstances when you didn't have the time, or the motivation, to hide your feelings. It was quite obvious that Alice and Jasper weren't going to leave me without a fight, and having read Jasper's mind, you must have known how I felt about you. Once I realised that, well, it was obvious what was really going on. After all, what is more plausible? You doing whatever it took to reunite your family, or you falling in love with me?" I couldn't help the way my voice cracked at the end there, so I took that opportunity to stop talking. I had explained, no point dwelling on things.

"I see..." he said, frowning. Probably disappointed in himself for not thinking things through that day in the forest. But it wasn't his fault, after all, who could have predicted that Jasper and Alice would feel such a strange obligation towards me that they would divide their own family for my sake?

"Is there anything else you want to say, Bella, before I take my chance to talk? I would really like it if you would listen to what I have to say without interrupting, but I don't want to censor you if you had anything else you wanted to tell me."

"No Edward, that's fine. I think I've said all there is to say. And yes, I will try not to interrupt you."

"And listen, please Bella. You have been remarkably honest with me, and I want to do the same for you. No editing." I nodded, wondering what he had to say, and hoping it wouldn't hurt too much.

He took a deep breath. "Here goes..." he seemed anxious, and I started to worry that he was going to tell me something that would hurt after all, something that would hurt quite a lot. I looked down at the floor, unable to meet his eyes.

"Bella, first, I need to explain exactly what was going through my head when I rejected you that way. I can see how it must have looked, and I really am sorry for not thinking before I acted, but I thought at the time that I was doing the right thing."

"What you have to understand is that, as newborns go, you are quite unique. You have amazing control over your thirst. But, there are other newborn traits that I had no idea you were equally resistant to. I never imagined, never even dared to hope, that you could ever forgive me enough to even consider me a friend, let alone...

"Well. Newborns are known for another hunger; they are known for their lust. Indiscriminate and uncontrollable lust. So you must see how that looked to me. Since there was no way that you could ever truly want me, the only other possibility was that you were so totally overcome by your physical hungers that you would deign to touch even me, loathsome creature that I am."

I was really struggling not to speak. It was practically impossible to restrain the urge to correct his woefully low opinion of himself. And I still couldn't see where he was going with all this. Was he trying to persuade me that my love for him was really just newborn-lust in disguise? Would he feel better thinking that it wasn't my heart he was breaking? Well, he could say what he liked. I knew what I felt.

"Bella, you have to see, I wasn't rejecting you. Really I wasn't. I just thought, you know, that it would be taking advantage of you. I didn't think you realised what you were doing. You don't know, you can't imagine, how much I wanted to give in to your advances, how much I wanted you in that moment. It took everything I had to stop you. You must have heard, in my voice, how tempted I was?"

He had phrased it as a question, so I took that to mean I could answer. I couldn't stand the way he was trying to rationalise things, trying to alter history. He had promised me honesty, after all.

"I heard how disgusted you were," I replied, icily, wishing that he didn't still feel the need to lie to me. How stupid did he think I was?

"Oh Bella," he said sadly, reaching out to stroke my hair, "My Bella. Is that really what you thought? Do you really think so little of yourself? If only you could see what the rest of us see when we look at you."

"And what is that?" I asked, archly, abandoning all attempts at silence. I had thought that there was nothing more that Edward Cullen could do to hurt me, I had thought myself immune to him. Surely nothing could be worse than realising that he would never love me? But evidently I hadn't realised just how much I valued his friendship as well, the honest friendship that I had truly thought we shared. That he would continue to lie to me, even now, was an agonising betrayal of that friendship.

"You are so many things to us Bella; a sister, a daughter, a friend. There is not a single person in this house that would not try to stop you leaving us. You truly are part of our family, whether you will it or no. You have been with us such a short time, but you have wrought such changes on us.

"So young, so new, so vulnerable," he reached out to stroke my face softly, "I don't think Alice ever really understood the way that Rosalie longed so desperately for children, the way Esme needed her family so utterly, until you came along. You should see the way she looks at you, like a lioness with her cubs. She loved you enough to turn her back on her whole family, even Jasper, for your sake. And don't mistake me, I mean what I say when I use the word 'love'. She loves you Bella, we all do. And even more than that, though her love may have divided us before, now it only brings us closer. She is so much more in tune with Esme and Rosalie, now that she understands them more. And it is not just Alice. I do not think there is a single one of us that is not a better person for having you in our lives. You never knew me before, but I don't think you could imagine how utterly different my life is now that I have found you. I know that I would choose in an instant, to die rather than to live a single moment without you."

I realised that I was shaking, trembling under the force of his words. It can't be true, I thought, not allowing myself to hope. But my detached cynicism was becoming harder and harder to maintain. I had told the truth, laid my cards on the table, promised that I would not do anything to harm his family. So why was he saying all this to me? I couldn't take it.

"Stop lying to me Edward, please just stop. I can't bear it!" I pulled away from him, desperately trying to quash the hope that was building in me, bringing with it such risks of despair. In my efforts to distance myself from him, physically and emotionally, I ended up kneeling on the floor, pressed against the far wall of his room.

I heard a fumbling on the other side of the room, and then he was kneeling beside me, with something cupped in his hands.

"Bella, please believe me when I say that every word I have told you is true. I love you, I have always loved you, and I always will. And if everything I have said so far tonight is not enough to convince you, then believe this – what I am asking you now is too important to ever be asked in anything but perfect truth. What I am doing now is something I would never do for any reason but love, no matter the stakes."

He opened his cupped hands then, and it wasn't until I absorbed the implications of what he was holding that I realised exactly what position he had adopted. He was kneeling next to me, yes, but not kneeling the way I was, for where I was sitting back on my heels, he was down on one knee...

He took my left hand in one of his, and gazed at me imploringly as he whispered to me in an impassioned tone.

"Bella, my Bella, my love. I promise to be yours forever, if you would give me just one thing. Isabella Marie Swan, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

EPOV

I held my breath, waiting for Bella's response, and noticed absently that six other breaths had stopped in the same instant as mine, as my family listened avidly for a reply. Bella, however, was breathing rapidly, eyes darting anxiously from the ring in my outstretched hand to my face, and back again.

"I... I can't Edward." my spirits fell, though they were bolstered slightly when Alice mentally whispered to me, don't worry, everything will still be ok. Look... and then more so when she showed me, finally, the vision she had been hiding from me for months, the one which she told me had never disappeared, through all the mistakes and misunderstandings, the one that still did not fade, despite Bella's rejection. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but someday Bella would wear the ring that was waiting for her.

I turned my attention back to Bella, as she continued speaking. "I'm sorry Edward, but I just can't believe what you're telling me, what you're offering me." She put her hand to my lips again as I opened my mouth to protest, "I am beginning to accept, I think, that maybe I should believe you, but I just keep looking for the catch. It's too good to be true, so it can't be, you know? But... I'll try. That's all I can offer you. That I will stay, and I will try to believe you. Maybe one day I will be secure enough to give another answer to the question you just asked, but let's take it slow. Call it, an engagement to be engaged?" She laughed a little then, and I did too, relieved that her mood seemed to be lightening.

"I understand Bella. We can take things as slowly as you like." I placed the ring tenderly back in its box, "this will be waiting for you, whenever you're ready. We have forever, my love."

As much as I wished that she had said yes, and fallen into my arms then and there, I acknowledged that this was probably the best outcome I could hope for. She was giving me time to convince her, and after all, I had eternity on my side.

Another part of me suggested, quietly, that as well as being the best outcome I could expect, this may even be the best outcome possible. We had travelled a rocky road together, and mistakes had been made on both sides. We needed this time, to rebuild trust, to learn to just be together, without all the baggage we were rapidly accumulating. Yes, we would take things slowly, and be the stronger for it.

My family's thoughts were as congratulatory as if I had just got engaged after all, but I understood that they had all been anxious, as soon as they had heard the direction our conversation was travelling in. They would all have fought to keep her, would all have done whatever they could to stop her leaving, short of actually forcing her to stay, but they all sensed that it was this conversation that everything had hinged on.

I knew you could do it Edward. You did everything just right.

Alice's thoughts were a gift, a confirmation of her love for me, a balm to soothe my fears. Then I heard movement as the family assembled in the main room.

If you don't mind, Alice told us all what would happen tonight, and we decided together that we would like to speak to Bella ourselves, to assure her that she has a place in this family as more than just your mate. After all, it was not just you she was planning on leaving.

Carlisle's tone was eminently reasonable, and though I did not want to share Bella just yet, now that we had finally come out from behind all our secrets and barriers and connected with each other, I knew that she did not belong to me, and it was true that she needed to hear what the rest of my – our – family had to say. I decided that it should be her choice whether or not to join them downstairs.

After a soft and lingering embrace, in which I tried very hard to suppress my natural reaction to the proximity of her naked form, she smiled up at me, her smile so open and free now that I wondered how I could possibly have missed the sadness and tension which were now obvious in their glaring absence, but which I had utterly failed to notice prior to this. I contented myself with the knowledge that now, at least, her eyes were unshadowed, and that together – together – we would work to keep them that way.

She said then that she would like to go downstairs with the others, so I let her go and she walked over to the bed to retrieve her clothes. She laughed wickedly when I averted my gaze from her nakedness, and before I knew it she was kissing me, pressing her body up against mine so that I could feel every inch of her. I kept my hands chastely around her waist, and was moderately surprised to find her skin still slick with oil. The massage had felt like a century ago; so much had changed since then.

"Shy now, are we?" she asked, with mirth glowing in her eyes, as she broke away from me and finally dressed herself.

"What happened to taking it slow?" I asked, with similar amusement in my voice. It was comforting, and also something of an ego boost, to know that even in her confusion she still could not resist me physically.

"There's a difference between going slowly, and going backwards Edward," she walked back towards me now until we stood scant inches apart, "And I seem to remember that this," she ran her hands over me in a way that made me shiver with pleasure, "is territory we have already covered." she chuckled with triumph as I submitted wholeheartedly to her caresses, melting beneath her hands.

Just as I felt that I could no longer stand up beneath the onslaught of her attentions, she pulled away and chidingly said "aren't they expecting us downstairs Edward?" She was toying with me mercilessly, but I knew that after fearing my rejection for so long, she needed to redress the balance of power – and desire – between us. Besides, if she really felt the need to take revenge on me in this particular way, well... I wasn't complaining!

I straightened my clothes, and rearranged my hair – though I am entirely unsure why I bothered, since it always looked somewhat tousled anyway – and we proceeded downstairs. Or at least, we tried to, but Alice is not known for her patience, and she met us halfway up, gripping Bella in what would have been a bone-shattering hug to a human, but to us was merely enthusiastic.

"I'm so glad you're staying with us Bella!" Alice sighed into Bella's hair, and then reluctantly let her go so that we could finish descending the stairs into the living room.

"Of course I'm staying Alice, I love you all. Where else would I want to be but here?"

Everyone had heard enough of our conversation to know that the issue of Bella's continuing residence with us had not always been as certain as she made it out to be, but they all took her comment in the spirit it was intended in.

Carlisle stepped up to Bella first, once Alice had backed away far enough to allow him to.

"Bella, I would like to formally welcome you to our family. You have experienced hardships that would destroy a weaker person, and come through them with grace and dignity, and I could not be prouder of you if you were my own flesh and blood. Whatever name you wish to go by, you will always be a Cullen to me." He smiled warmly down at her, and gave her a paternal kiss on the forehead.

I did not need to read Bella's mind to know what his simple statement meant to her. She had doubted her place for so long, spent so much time worrying that she would have to spend her eternity alone, but now she would never have to fear again. No matter what happened between us, she had a place; one that she had earned for herself, one that had been freely and wholeheartedly given. She had seen us through some of our worst moments, so she knew that our family bonds were as strong and unconditional as blood ties.

Esme approached Bella next, and I could see in her thoughts that she was speechless with delight. "Bella, oh Bella," she crooned, folding Bella into her arms. Her voice was choked with emotion. She held on so long that Emmett started to chuckle, and I could see in his thoughts that he was contemplating making some form of tasteless lesbian joke, but thankfully he decided that even he could not spoil this moment. I smiled at him in gratitude at that decision and he had the grace to look sheepish.

Eventually Jasper stepped up with a polite but amused cough and tapped Esme on the shoulder, saying "may I cut in?" Esme let Bella go, but could not be entirely diverted from expressing her joy, so she turned to embrace me instead. I cradled her lovingly, absorbing all the happiness and pride from her thoughts.

Jasper held Bella gently by the shoulders and looked into her eyes. "I feel like I should say something deeply profound here, but I am afraid that words fail me. I, we," he put his arm around Alice, who took that opportunity to slip in between Jasper and Bella to resume hugging her, "care for you deeply, and I believe that I speak for both of us when I say what a gift you are to us. We love you Bella."

Jasper stepped away from Bella to make space for Rosalie, who prodded Alice, saying "you've already had your turn, shove over!" Alice glared, but stepped to one side, holding Bella's right hand tightly.

"Its about time we got another girl in this place," Rosalie began, her voice light and joking, "plus it's good that someone has finally come along who could beat my darling husband in a fight," both myself and Alice uttered wordless protestations, until Rosalie silenced us by saying, "ok, in a fair fight," - Alice and I grinned at each other - "so for the next few months while you're all super-newborn I give you absolute free reign to put Emmett in his place!" Bella chuckled, and nodded her agreement, then raised her eyes challengingly to meet Emmett's.

Rosalie had never been amazingly prone to physical – or verbal – displays of affection for anyone but Emmett, so she surprised me when she gave Bella a quick, but firm hug, before stepping away again.

Emmett, last in the queue, lifted Bella off the floor in a bear hug. "Welcome to the family, little sis," he said simply, and grinned his infectious smile at her.

"Thanks Emmett," she said, and kissed him lightly on the cheek before he set her back on her feet.

She turned to face each of us, one by one, as she spoke in a soft but sincere voice. "Thank you all, for taking me in, and looking after me, and for loving me. I love you all too." She seemed uncomfortable with the intensity of the adoring gazes fixed on her, so I rescued her by suggesting a game of scrabble.

The moment was broken, and everything returned to normal then, or, what I hoped would become normal. Esme was still holding my hand tightly, and as everyone settled themselves around the table, laughing, joking, completely content and at ease with each other, we stood back for a moment, just drinking in the happiness and unity in the room. Finally, I gave my mother's hand a quick squeeze, and then we took our seats with our family.