Here we go again, what the hell happened to Januari? All i can remember is a blur of driffrent frencing halls, fencers, trains and workouts...
Fray.
I looked over at my father, his hands were shaking and he looked… insecure… he didn't say anything but he took a sip from his coffee.
"I need a smoke." He said shortly and got up from his seat. "You can come out with me if you like…" I drank the last of the coke and followed him out.
We stood there and stared out in the air for some time and I didn't know what to say. I was scared, this was one of my true heroes but when I finally got to meet him I tell him that I love and hate him… at the same fucking time. Good job…
"I understand if you never want to see me again… but I want you to know that I always wanted to be there Fray. Every day. I thought of you and your mother every time I tried to write something, every time I was on the stage and every time I drank… But she didn't want me there…" I turned around.
"Mum… I want you to pick me up…" I called my mother.
"What's the matter darling?" she asked.
"Nothing is the fucking matter! Can you just come and pick me up?"
"Mind your language! And let me speak to Gerard."
"She wants you…" I turned back around and the man frowned, the same thing I did when I was worried, afraid or just stressed out. With my free hand I felt on my forehead… Well there was no doubt if I was his son or not…
I watched him as he spoke to mum.
"No… I don't know why he wants to leave."
Silence.
"Come on, I didn't say anything stupid."
Silence.
"Alex. Can we take this in person?"
I walked up to him, took the phone out of his hand and hit the speaker button.
"Now you both listen. It is just too much in one day. For the first time in over fourteen years I met my father and he is nothing but a person I admire. I need to decide if I'm going to keep hating him or if there is a point in starting to get to know him before he goes of to some other place. I just want to go home; to be alone so I can think… is that too much to ask for? Without you two fighting!" I said without taking one breath.
"Well then I can pick you up, or do you want me to send Mikey or Frank?" My mother asked.
"I want my… uncle Mikey and his friend Frank to pick me up!" I said angry.
Mikey.
I glared over at the kid, my brother's son and I smiled, I had somehow always known that I had a little nephew. But I didn't know what to say to the kid.
"I really do admire you, Mikey…" he said. "When I was younger I begged mum to get me a bass so I could grow up like you…" then he turned to Frank. "And I whish someone taught me the passion for music you have!"
"There is no need for teaching you that, I can't believe that the son of Gerard isn't born with the same passion Gerard has for music." Frank smiled.
"Did you get to play the bass then?" to my big disappointment Fray shock his head and looked sad.
"Mum never let me get involved in playing anything… but she couldn't stop me from loving music. And I swear that she loves your music as much as I do… Sometimes when she thinks I'm asleep she listens to mostly bullets and she cries…"
"Your mother had some rough teenage years, and she knows that most of those songs are written with her in mind." Frank told the kid.
Silence went by and just before we had reached home for both the kid and Frank I looked over at Fray.
"If Gee just could have been there for you, he would have been, but…" I lost the words before I could say them. "Just don't be too hard on him, I understand that you are full of hate… but he loves you, so much!"
Gerard.
It had been a hard day, and when I had walked home I climbed down the stairs, back to my teenage place and I hadn't left the sofa in two hours. I just lay there and smoked cigarette after cigarette. Mikey came home and gave me some coffee.
"Does he hate me?" I looked at my brother with tears in my eyes.
"I have a feeling that he will come around eventually." Mikey told me.
"And… her…? Alex?"
"You two belong together, you always have, and you always will. You know it; I know it and she knows it! So when Fray comes around I think you and her will end up together again."
"Thanks Mikey!" I left my position on the sofa and gave him a hug.
We never left the place filled with pure angst that evening; there was no point, where would we go?
One week later.
Alex.
Not much changed with my father; he was just lying there in the hospital bed and looked tiny and sick. I had just left the hospital when my phone rang.
"Hey, it's me." Gerard said in the phone when I answered, I passed by a black window and realized the smile on my face.
"Hello there."
"I was thinking if there was a chance that I, or really we could take our son to meet my parents?"
I held my breath for a minute. Then I replayed.
"I think we better straight some things out before we get involved in the heavy shit…"
"The Starbucks next to the school in thirty minutes?"
"Sounds good!" I said and hung up on him.
Ohh so what is going to happen at Starbucks? :o Darlings you just have to wait and see ^^ tell me what you think about the chapter! :)