The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud - Coco Chanel

October 1st 1976

12:16 PM

'Pinch, punch, first day of the month!'

Brant turns slowly to glare at me, his dark brow cocked and his brown eyes exasperated. I grin at him widely, drawing my hand away from his arm, having just given him a hilarious pinch and punch. 'Don't look at me like that, moody. Crazy it's October already though, right?'

He leans back against his seat in the library, books spread out in front of him, as I sit in the seat to his left. Sixth year, after the first two weeks, had hit all of us like a train. Coming into the library, I'd seen even the Marauders and a few other Gryffindors leaning over a rolls of parchment and thick text books with worried looks on their faces. After that day at Hogsmeade (in which I had found out that Edith had walked into a shelf and broken her nose, the reason for everyone's disappearance), my interaction with the boys had flagged a little bit.

There was no time to socialise. Sixth year sucked. There had, of course, been comments from Black here and there. Still, my snappy comment to Lupin must have worked, because he seemed to be just a little less friendly with me than usual. Well done, Lola. You scared him off with your bitchy ways.

Sighing and stretching his arms above his head, Brant yawns and clicks the bones in his fingers. 'Crazy indeed, my dear. I was so excited to have free periods this year, but all we seem to be doing is studying'. He looked miserably down at his roll of parchment, shoulders sagging. 'Have you started the Potions essay yet?'

I nod and throw my quill onto the table and dump my bag onto the floor. With a sigh, I lean back into my chair and look at him. 'Yeah. So fucking hard. I have an Astronomy one due the same day. Sinistra, the sadist, wants five feet of parchment on the diameter, density and surface gravity of Jupiter. Like, what the fuck? How am I supposed to know that?'

With that, Brant plonks his forehead onto the table before him and groans. Somewhere in the depths of the library, I could have sworn I heard Pince snap, 'Shush!' Weird woman. Her relationship with the books in the Hogwarts library was both weird and worrying. 'I just can't be bothered,' Brant said, lifting his head slightly. 'Do you know that I haven't smoked since that Gryffindor party, or drank?'

At that, I give him a mildly horrified look. 'Oh my God. Same'. I shake my head. 'What has become of us? All we bloody do is study. I haven't seen Edith in three days outside of classes, you know. And Endrew looks close to having a mental breakdown. I heard Alice Lavier actually started crying from stress in Muggle Studies yesterday. They had to pull Longbottom out of Herbology to calm her down. That's child cruelty'.

Brant nodded in understanding, a dead serious look on his face. 'I thought the O.W.L's were bad. Mum wasn't wrong...N.E.W.T's are going to kill us'.

I nod and sigh. 'Oh, your sister passed me on the staircase earlier, actually. She stepped aside and let me pass first. I almost thought she was going to push me down the stairs when I wasn't looking'.

Brant snorts and flashes white teeth. 'Wouldn't surprise me, y'know'.

I scoff and sigh, resting my head in my hand as I stare lazily at him. Brant does the same, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. 'Tell you what,' I say slowly. 'If we do a bunch of work today and go to Potions later, why don't we sneak out after curfew and get drunk by the Black Lake? I have a bottle of Firewhiskey that dad snuck into my bag before I left-'

'How is your dad so cool? Mum would end me if she saw me drinking anything like that with her knowing'.

I scoff. 'My dad is the furthest thing from cool. I swear he just does it to piss off mum, to be honest. Anyway, what d'you say, Zaveri?' It doesn't take a lot of convincing, of course. He looks at me with a blank look that says 'what the fuck do you think?' before grinning and brandishing his black quill once again. 'Solid day of work, then drinking by the Black Lake and trying to befriend the squid'.

'It's going to eat you one of these days,' says Brant, eyes now fixed on the parchment before him.

I scoff and accio a Potions book from his own pile with my brandished wand, grinning at his affronted look. 'I'll have you know, I saw it swim past the windows in the Common Room yesterday. Could have sworn that it winked at me'. He snorts and I smile, settling back into flipping open the thick Potions textbook and revising the method for, well, whatever the fuck the essay Slughorn had set us what about.

'I mean, I'm really starting to get this whole drag queen culture thing, y'know?' The both of us duck into the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, Brant yapping on about some muggle magazine he had read over the summer holidays. 'I reckon I would look really fit if I wore make up. This skin is flawless'. I crack up as Brant flourishes an elegant hand against his dark cheekbone and strikes a pose. 'I am built to be covered in glitter'.

I stop mid-laugh, noting that the table in which Edith and Endrew normally take up is oddly empty. 'Huh, that's weird'. Brant shrugs as we slide into our respective seats and slide our bags underneath the wooden table. Around us, the classroom fills up with the usual N.E.W.T students of the increasingly fucking difficult Potions class. I have half a mind to tell Charlie to just give up now. Mum and dad had already written to me asking me to help him with his Astronomy and Transfiguration homework. Meh, I'll send him Brant's way.

Kicking back and leaning against the table behind us, where the twins usually sat, Brant shrugs off his blue crested black robes. 'Edith's probably dragging Endrew from their study break, you know what he's like. I think Longbottom was tutoring them in Herbology or some shit. Melrin knows with those two. Edith's nose is always going to have a bump in it now, you know-'

'Oi, Frank!' The dark haired and round faced boy looks up from his place in front of the Marauders and beside some blonde haired Ravenclaw girl. Huh, the one who was sitting next to Brant a month ago...I really need to learn these peoples names. 'Have you seen Edith or Endrew anyway, dude?' I ask.

He blink his brown eyes over to me and shakes his head. 'No, sorry, Lola-'

'Need to keep a closer eye on your pets, you do,' says Sirius a cheeky grin on his handsome face as he leans lazily back in his seat. His dark hair is slicked back, and I have half a mind to walk over their mess the bloody locks up.

I roll my eyes at him, ignoring how annoyingly handsome he looks with his red and gold tie loose. Brant was probably frothing at the mouth behind me. 'Shut up, Black'.

'She called you Black, mate,' says James, shaking his head from beside Sirius. His quill is stuck behind is ear, making it look as if he has a fabulous feather sticking from his messy black hair. From the table to his left, Lily Evans is giving him a deadpan look. 'We've lost her again. The Ice Queen returtneth'.

I bite back a smile and shake my head. 'You're both idiots'. James holds his heart, whilst Black turns away from me in mock disgust. Briefly, my eyes flicker toward Lupin. He'd been so quiet lately; probably to do with what I'd said to him in Hogsmeade a month ago. I had scared him off, finally. Whatever. Like I care. His head was bowed toward the table as he scribbled something very slowly on a piece of parchment. Beside him, Pettigrew had his head buried in his arms and appeared to be sleeping.

In that split second, he turned to look over his shoulder at me as if he had been listening the whole time. The heavy bags under his eyes and paleness of his skin had me stumped for a moment. I mean, he was looking fucking knackered. Even his usually pristine uniformed seemed rumpled and sagging against his form. He blinked quickly away from my gaze, head snapping back round to stare hard at his writing.

Shaking my head, I turn my head back toward Brant. 'I wonder where they are-'

At that moment, Slughorn comes bursting into the classroom in a display of big smiles and a stack of papers. Ugh, the essays. I'd forgotten we'd be getting them back. Honestly, if I had fucked up on that one, there was no way I could do the one he had recently set for us to do. Maybe I could drop out of school and become a hermit in the Scottish wilderness...yeah...

You'll be happy to know that I nearly cry with relief when I see that I got an Exceeds Expectations. 'I love you, sir,' I tell him, ignoring Brant's smug smile at his own Outstanding mark. Slughorn goes a little red and huffs out a laugh from beneath his thick moustache before moving on to Black and Potter, both of whom high five and whoop.

The space behind Brant and I remains oddly empty, even as Slughorn informs us to turn to page 146 of Advanced Potion Making and prep to make the Hiccoughing Solution. Without quite meaning to, my eyes drift toward Remus as we heat up our cauldron with the basic ingredients Slughorn had presented us with, with a flick of his wand. His shoulders seem tense, and the air around him seems to buzz with energy with the way he holds himself. Every inch of his form seems stiff as he leans of the potion. I watch, probably not too subtly, as Peter pats his arm lightly goes about sprinkling some Mandrake Root into their potion. Odd. Pettigrew never does any work.

'Can you stop eye-fucking Lupin and do some work please, Lola'. I snap back to Brant and glare at him. 'Your thirst is real, babe. You need to pounce on his dick already'.

'Can't,' I grumble. 'F...Feelings. Bad'.

Brant stops with stirring the potion and considers me with a concerned look. 'Are you part troll now?'

'Ha, ha'. I cast a glance up at the shut door and frown. 'Where the fuck are they, man? I'm...I'm worried'. Something of which does not happen very often, I assure you. I just can't imagine Edith ever being this late to class. Sure, she's an idiot sometimes, but she's a fucking punctual idiot. 'And they say I'm heartless'.

Brant snorts. 'Wait, you have a heart?'

I smack his arm. 'You're just a fucking barrel of laughs today, aren't you?' I peer into the Potion and frown. 'Huh. It's not turning the right colour. Book says we need more Salamander Blood if that happens. Shall I...?' Brant waves a hand dully in my general direction, to which I scoff at and take as a yes. His forehead is damp with sweat from the steaming potion, and as I vacate my seat I see the blonde girl working with Longbottom give Brant a sideways glance.

Huh, I'll have to report that to him later.

I pause before sliding from between tables, shrugging off my black robes and then my grey jumper. Sweaty. Gross. Why did the under shirts have to be white? As I start for the ingredients cupboard, I hear Black mutter something and Remus snap something in return. That sends my attention back toward the four of them, but not before once again catching Lupin's dark gaze.

Once again, he looks away quickly. Black merely catches my eye and winks before turning back to his and Potter's potion. I roll my eyes and walk lazily toward the cupboard, once again thinking how odd the group of boys could be. It wasn't a secret that they all looked after each other, often Lupin more than any of them. His Aunt always seemed to be sick if he wasn't, so I guess the boys took sympathy on him.

Kinda...cute, I guess.

Upon entering the empty closet, I begin searching among the array of small and large bottles slowly as the door swings half shut behind me. Spider legs...nope. And ew. Who the hell would want to be a Potions Master, they have to handle grossest shit. Huh, knowing Snape that's probably what he would want to be. The freak loved potion making. I'd seen his hooked nose sniffing at his own merrily bubbling potion just before. Shudder.

'Eyeball...fucking gross-'

The sudden rise and fall of the light student chatter from behind me alerts me that someone had entered the closet with me. I stand and turn, embarrassed that my butt had been sticking up. To both my elation and embarrassment, it's Remus bloody Lupin. Is it weird that I think the rumpled look suits him, and...oh. Oh, he's looking at me funny. He looks ill, but the look he's giving me...nah. He can't be. 'Talking to yourself?' he drawls, and his voice is lower somehow.

If this is what he sounds like every time he's ill, I am totally cool with that.

I blink and look down at the eyeball in a jar that I am holding, then back up to Lupin. His hair is messy - delightfully so. Plus, the bags under his eyes are worryingly worse, but still he holds himself with that stiffness. I'm struck by his boldness when I catch his gaze flicker down over my form briefly, before darting back up to my slowly reddening face. No! Merlin, why does this boy make me blush so much? Pathetic, Leola. Really.

He takes a single step into the closet, the door closing slowly with him. I cough and lower the bloody eyeball. 'Er. Yeah'.

He cocks a dark brow, amber eyes dark and amused. 'I haven't seen much of you lately'.

'Er. No'.

He chuckles lightly and reaches down to pluck the eyeball jar from my hand, stepping closer once again. I breath in deeply, feeling like a pile of very useless troll dung. Charm him! 'You probably won't need this, Lola. You'll kill whoever drinks your potion if you add this to it. Merlin, even Pete knows that'. He smiles a sideways smile at me as he places the potion back onto the shelf.

I glare at him and cross my arms. 'I know that, Remus. I was just looking at it'.

He cocks a brow tiredly. 'Looking at an eyeball?'

'...Yes. Shut up'. I grin as he smiles lazily, and I am suddenly struck by how I had, perhaps, missed talking to him. Had I ever had a feeling like that with a guy? No. No, I had not. 'You seem...wound up. Are you okay?' I don't mean for my voice to sound sarcastic, but I really don't think I have the ability to ask if someone is okay seriously. Just one of the many wonders of being shit at showing affection.

The air is thick with tension, and I fucking love it.

At that, his eyes dart to the right nervously. His body language, on the other hand, is a different story. He steps forward once again, eyes settling on my face as he licks his lips. He looks...worried. His brow is crinkled slightly, and at this proximity I can see the tightness in his pronounced jaw and the narrowing of his eyes. 'Fine. Just...tired'.

I breath in deeply and stare up at him, very aware of the dozen or so students just outside that wooden door. Still, that makes it even naughtier, right? Fabian and I had once done it in one of the broom closets. It was great. But even that rush...it just seems really fucking dumb compared to the heat and rush I feel when presented with a rumpled and tired looking Remus Lupin.

How fucking poetic.

I'm not sure whether he grabs my jaw with both of his warm hands and kisses me because I had pointed out it was his turn to make the move, but I am not complaining. As if my body had been waiting for him to pounce, my hands travel to bury themselves in his soft and thick hair as his lips moves slowly against mine, warm and wet and just...just fucking good.

The way he kisses me then reminds me so much of the last time we kissed, just a month ago, behind that tapestry. He lowers his hands from my bundle of curls to land on my waist, turning me around with a swift movement and pressing me against the rows of ingredients. They rattle behind me at the soft movement and I laugh into his mouth, breathing him in.

My heart thuds in my chest. I move from his lips, kissing the light blonde stumble along his jawline and breathing hard against his neck. He, apparently, wants none of that. Instead, he lowers his hands from my waist and presses both against my behind, pushing our lowers halves together with a kind of desperation. I press my mouth against his, swallowing the wonderful and so un-Remus-like groan.

He kisses hard and fast, hand lowering underneath the fabric of my dress to press against my bottom through my tights. Is this happening? What the fuck? What the fuck? This was the closest we'd been, and with this thoughts in my mind I reach between us, breaking out kiss to breath hotly against his mouth, and reach for him through the fabric of his trousers.

'Fuck, Lola...' he groans. I watch him, with his eyes screwed shut, as I palm him briefly. He's beautiful. How fucking dumb is that? But he is. And from what I can feel, from the hardness of him...he ain't too lacking either. My stomach pools with heat as he presses his mouth to mine once again, grinding against my fucking hand and-

A scrape of a chair from outside seems to remind the both of us exactly where we are, and when Remus leaps away from me he looks flushed, mortified and very horny. The look suits him.

He opens his mouth, pupils blown wide, but I cut over him. 'I know,' I gasp. 'You shouldn't have done that. Whatever. Fuck, when the hell did you undo my buttons?' I blink down at my half exposed black bra and do up the buttons of my white shirt quickly. 'That was...I'm gonna be blunt. That was super fucking hot. What brought that on?'

He looks pained. Huh, at least his hard on is going down. 'I don't know. You just...' he screws his eyes shut and breathes in deeply through his nose. 'You seem to have that affect on me, Lola Leola'. He opens his eyes and half smiles. 'That white shirt hides nothing, you know'.

I blush and grin. 'Fucking pervert'. I want to walk forward and kiss him again. I want to ask him why he looks so tired. I want to ask him why he's sick so often. I would have asked him this, maybe, if Brant hadn't thrown open the closet door and regarded the two of us with a momentarily judging look. Mentally brushing whatever he was thinking aside, he shakes his as Lupin jumps even further from me, before looking me hard in the eye.

'Slughorn says we've gotta go and see Dumbledore, Lo. It's about Edith and Endrew'.

Thought you guys deserved a treat after so long with no action! The reviews are amazing, I love you all so much! I hope you're like the direction of the story, not long now until out story takes some twists!