A/N: I apologize for the wait, I've been busy!

Here's the chapter, and the plot really kicks off in the next one.

Thanks SOOOO MUCH for those of you who reviewed, it really means a lot to me.

What Did I Do?

Chapter Ten

BPOV

I tried futilely to roll over again, and sighed. Sleep was useless, and I knew it. I looked around at the dark silhouette of Edward's room once again, feeling yet another wave of guilt wash over me again. What was I thinking in trying to sleep in here?

What am I doing? I'm trying to fall asleep in my fiancé's room, while I'm laying awake thinking of his own brother. Not only that, but I've actually acted on my feelings for him.

Pushing the blanket off of myself, I walked over to the window. Squinting, I tried to see if I could make out Jasper somewhere in the trees, because I knew he was out hunting.

Instead of having a big meal like the rest of his family, he's stuck here with barely appetizing animals. What does he get to show for it? A horrible girl, wishing she could reign in her feelings, which is a feat much easier said than it is done.

I gave up of ever seeing him- hell, he could run out of Forks itself in no time at all. Why did I ever hope to see him right by his house? Even if by a long shot he was still nearby, no way I'd be able to see him. I walked into Edward's bathroom to start for the day. Since sleep was futile, might as well keep myself occupied with something other than feelings of my own guilt and confusion.

While I didn't feel nearly as guilty in here as I did in the actual room, I still felt like the worst person ever.

I payed too much attention to my actions as I undressed- anything to get my mind off my guilty conscience. When the process was all too soon finished, I stepped inside the shower and turned it on. It was scalding hot, but I didn't so much as bother changing the temperature. Hell, I was too busy thinking to even notice the temperature at all, despite my already red skin. That too, I hardly too notice of even as I started rubbing it raw with the soap which was being held hostage in my clenched fist.

If it wasn't for Edward, I wouldn't even be here right now. I'd still be thinking that the existence of my beloved vampires and werewolves was nothing more than a Hollywood myth. Something scary to watch in a movie, or dress as on Halloween.

He completely turned my whole world upside down, and I couldn't be happier for it. He's absolutely perfect, and I have loved him ever since I first talked to him. But he's so controlling it's unbearable. If it wasn't for that though, being with him would be 250% perfect. I mean, it's already like a dream come true, even with his controlling manner that frustrates me to no end. Of course, that's also my fault for being a durable, clumsy, danger magnet of a human.

But, with Jasper it's different. He's never even the slightest bit annoyingly worried of my health. If I'm having a bad day, he knows not to bother me. I also know I can probably talk to him about anything-even things I can't with Edward. I mean, there's a reason his sensitivity was enough to make him an empath in the first place. But with him, there's two major problems. Alice and Edward; we're both taken.

That last thought made me mad, however irrational I know it is. What am I doing? I know I love him, but he's married. It's my own fault that I fell for someone with a wedding band on their finger. Besides, I'm about to be married too, not too long from now.

Yet here I am, debating between my fiancé and his own brother.

I finished washing the shampoo out of my hair before I finally turned off the now noticeable hot water.

Whether I like it or not-which I definitely don't- there's really only one thing I can do.

I finished getting ready for the already too long day without much thought as to what I was actually doing. Instead, I was trying to figure out what it is I'm supposed to say. What exactly is a girl supposed to say when she's ending whatever is between her and an impossibly perfect guy? Especially when she just wants to kiss him and say, "I love you," over and over again.

I finished getting dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a lightweight blue sweater. I headed for downstairs, without even bothering to look at my still reddish skin in the mirror. It is obvious what I look like. Probably someone who's about to make a huge mistake.

I made my way over to the couch to wait, trying to talk some sense into myself all the while, without much success.

What am I even doing? I've met an incredibly caring guy that actually likes me back. If not for the fact that we're both spoken for, it would be like a dream come true. But this is so wrong....yet when I look into his eyes, I can't help how right it seems.

I felt my stomach knot itself when I heard the sound of the door knob turning. With a sinking feeling in my chest, I took a deep breath of courage to do what I already know has to be done.

"Jasper," I attempted to start when he stepped through the threshold. My voice cracked, great way to start out strong. Although it is step up courage wise from the silence I was tempted to try.

"Hmm?" Came a very worried sounding Jasper.

That snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked up at him, intending to have this conversation eye to eye, but instead I just felt the normal rush of feelings I get when I look into his eyes. Guiltily, I looked away at the thought of another golden pair of eyes. "I can't," was all I managed to get out.

"Can't what?" He prompted, taking a seat next to me and reached for my hand. I folded my hands together in my lap, making a look of hurt cross his face as he retracted his hand back to his own lap to mock my pose.

At that look, I wanted to take back every single thought of ending things with him. "I can't keep doing this-" I motioned between the two of us for lack of better words.

The look on his face was devastating enough to make the devil cry, although he quickly attempted to mask it from me.

"Oh...," was all he managed to get out.

"Jasper, I'm so sor-" I tried to say.

He just shook his head, "I get it, Bella."

I reached out to keep him from getting up, but he simply kissed the palm of my hand tenderly before gently placing it back in my lap.

"I'm sorry," I whispered again, trying to push back my own tears without much success.

I knew he must have heard me, but he didn't acknowledge it. "I'll be back later," was all he said.

What did I just do? I asked myself as I watched him leave.

A/N: Sorry for the short chapter, next one will be longer.

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