Many thanks to Charlie Blue for pointing out my faux pas, of course Sam was a Lt Colonel. This chapter was sooo hard to write, I missed that detail.

ooooo

Kerry left Monday morning to meet with her superiors in DC. She would be gone for a few days, and was to call Jack when she got back. Instead she surprised him by showing up at his office on Friday morning.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"They made my assignment permanent."

"Really?"

"Really. I'm even getting an office upstairs in NORAD."

"So much for working in your PJs."

"Yeah well, I guess that's the down side."

"Well, congratulations."

"Thanks. You want to help me celebrate later?"

"Sure. That sound's great. There's not much going on here today, so I should be able to leave at a reasonable time. You want me to take you out?"

She beamed at him. "That's sweet. But let's just stay in. Your place?"

He nodded.

"Okay. I gotta run."

He showed her to the door, closing it behind her. As he turned around, he spotted Carter standing in the conference room, watching through his office window.

Doh!

Okay Jack, play it cool. He gestured her in.

He knew what she wanted to talk about—Daniel's memorial. But he was sure Daniel was not gone for good. Absolutely positive. After they went back and forth on it, he got her to drop the subject by changing it.

Waving a form at her, he asked "So why am I giving Shannahan clearance to come on base?"

ooooo

Kerry stretched out on the king size bed, luxuriating in the space, but wishing there were a little less. They had eaten in, as she had suggested, and spent a relaxing evening together. But Jack had gotten a phone call at the crack of dawn, calling him to come into the base. "Trouble in Jaffa-land" he had quipped. He showered, dressed and headed out, telling her once again that she could stay.

"I'll call you."

Deja vu all over again. Kerry wondered if she should be gassing up her car.

This time Jack did call.

"Hey, where are you?"

"Your place."

"Still?"

"It's Saturday. I didn't have anything else planned. I'm enjoying your deck."

"Well, I think I'll join you. How about I pick up some steaks? We can grill out."

It was a beautiful late spring afternoon. Jack was out on the deck, cremating the steaks. Kerry had gone inside to bring out the sidedishes. He had acted offended when she asked about steak sauce, but said he had some in one of the cupboards. She couldn't find it.

She was coming back out to tell him so when she discovered that they had company.

Colonel Carter. Crap.

Kerry wasn't sure who was most discomfited; Colonel Carter was a white as a sheet, Jack was jabbering like an idiot, and for her part, Kerry just wanted to find a deep hole to climb into. Nevertheless she made her best effort to be gracious, but seemed things were just heading further south when they were all saved by the ringing of the colonel's cell phone. Unfortunately, it was bad news of some kind, something to do with the colonel's father, Jacob Carter. The Tok'ra, Kerry mused.

Kerry watched as Colonel Carter disappeared around the corner of the house, and then looked up at Jack. He met her glance briefly before setting down the BBQ tools and stalking into the house. Kerry paused to take the steaks off the grill, lost cause though they were, and followed him in.

He was standing in the middle of the living room on his cell phone. "Okay, let me know if there's any change. Thank you, doctor."

"Jack?"

"Jacob collapsed. He's conscious now, but they're not sure what's wrong."

"Okay."

"They'll let me know when they know anything."

"I heard."

She waited for him to say anything else, or to move. But he just stood there, his jaw set. Finally he let out a long sigh, shaking his head. "Crap."

"What's going on, Jack?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean why are you acting like a man who just got caught cheating?" She didn't realize it was true until she said it.

"What?"

Kerry had not known him long, but she knew Jack well enough to know when she hit a nerve, and she had just hit a big one.

"You're not this upset because Jacob Carter is sick."

He didn't reply.

"And when she was here. I've never seen you flustered like that."

"I wasn't..."

"You were talking nonsense."

He didn't deny it. "It's just…I told you I didn't want anyone from the SGC to know about us."

"Anyone from the SGC?"

Again he set his jaw but did not answer.

"Jack."

"Kerry. It's okay. It's not the end of the world….In fact, maybe this is better. No more sneaking around."

She nodded; her gut telling her that he was skirting the real issue. There was way more going on here than Jack's inclination for privacy.

"Do you need to go to the base?"

"I… no. There's no point. They'll let me know if his condition worsens."

Jack stayed. Physically. The evening wore on and he made a valiant effort not to appear distracted, but Kerry knew his head, and his heart, were at the SGC. They made love, and it was good, but seemed almost perfunctory.

He was up before sunrise. "I'm going in. Can you lock up?"

"Sure."

"Okay. I'll see you later?'

"I'll come by."

"Okay."

She got up as soon as he had left, and went out and sat on his deck, watching the sky turn from black to orange. The events of the prior afternoon replayed in her mind until they revealed their significance with crystal clarity.

The last of the stars blinked out with the new dawn. She recalled that he had promised to take her up on his roof to look at the stars through his telescope, but they had not yet gotten around to it. Not yet, not ever, she thought wistfully. Damn. It was silly, but she had become attached to this house in the short time she had known him. She would miss it. She walked through it one last time, seeing Jack's personality in its furnishings, looking at the photos that he wouldn't talk about. Then she gathered her things and let herself out the front door, locking it behind her.