Sorry for the long wait!
"I know most of you are still excited from our minor victory on Saturday, but I am here to let you know that the battle has just begun." Haymitch declares, circling around the large round table. Interns are scribbling furiously to document every word he's saying, while the rest of us wait for him to continue his speech. "The Alma Coin and the republicans have carried this district for the past 6 years. While Pennsylvania in itself is usually blue, she was first elected in the years following a big democratic scandal and has not had a formidable opponent yet." Haymitch emphasizes the word "yet", and everyone turns their eyes to Peeta.
He goes on. "If you thought Enobaria was bad, wait until you see Alma Coin. With her campaign manager Cornelius Snow, they are prepared to do anything and everything to win. Anything bad that you have ever done in your life, they know about it and they are not afraid to use it against you." Haymitch looks at all of us sternly, his eye lingering on me for a split second too long. "They are good, but overconfident. And that may be her downfall." Nobody in the room takes Haymitch's words lightly, everyone nodding slightly. "Now everyone get to work. We've got a long six months."
Peeta winning the primary did more than just inflate his ego. Everywhere we go now people recognize us -our waiter at dinner, an employee at Home Depot, and even the lady ringing up Peeta's razors at CVS. Most of the time they just squint, and ask him if he was an actor or something, but occasionally people are very willing to share exactly what they think about him and his politics.
He's great in all situations, but I as I go apartment hunting I immediately regret bringing him along. He shares his opinion about every place we visit and I'm ready to rip his head off by the end of the day.
"Katniss you can't move to Belmont, I'm not going to let you get shot on your way to work," he over exaggerates on our way home.
I roll my eyes, tired of listening to him complain. "Don't be ridiculous Peeta, I'm not going to get shot. I'm trying to be economically smart about this, thats all." I explain, taking my eyes off the road for a second to glance at him in the passenger seat of my Jeep. He's still in full business attire, with the sleeves of his button down rolled up to his forearms the way I like them.
"Well if you really wanted to be economically smart about it, you'd move in with me." His words hang heavy in the air, and I'm too afraid to look him in the eye.
"I didn't know that offer was on the table," I say slowly, eyebrows raised in surprise.
"It is now," Peeta retorts back, his voice steady.
I sigh, thankful for the red light as I turn to look at him. He looks serious and unhesitant, which compels me to seriously contemplate his idea. "And how would I pay you? I mean I'm looking at apartments in Belmont for a reason, I honestly can't afford to split your mortgage." Talking about money is always hard with Peeta - while his family has had rough times, they were fairly well off for Bakersfield. Even after college, he's never really has to stretch a dollar.
"Just pay whatever you think you can right now, and thats fine with me. I just sleep better knowing you're safe is all." He flashes me a loving smile, which only makes me feel guilty before asking my next question.
"But are we here in our relationship?" I ask, my voice small. I hear Peeta sigh and I avoid looking at him, afraid to see his reaction. "I mean, you know that I love you, it's just it is a big step," I back track.
This is the first time I've really questioned anything about our relationship, and it gives me a bad feeling. Judging from his dejected tone, Peeta feels it too. "I mean, you can do whatever you think is right for yourself, I just wanted to let you know what my house is an option. Plus with the ridiculous hours we both work, I barely get to see you anymore."
"I know," I sigh, taking one hand off the wheel to hold his. "I'm sorry," I apologize. "I'm over thinking it. I guess it beats having to buy a bunch of new furniture, and getting locked into lease, and dealing with landlords," I go on, the idea of moving sounding more and more unattractive.
"You guess it beats all of that?" Peeta asks incredulously, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "Wow, I didn't know there could be things better than waking up next to your attractive boyfriend every day."
I laugh, glad the tense moment has passed. "I love you," I get out, a smile still on my face.
"I know."
"I swear, if someone asks me my personal opinions on Obamacare one more time, I'm dropping out of the election." I don't even look up from my iPad as Peeta continues to go on his rant, only sighing and shaking my head to myself.
"Babe, I think you need to go to sleep," I recommend, looking at him. Between me moving in, back to back meetings, and appearances, Peeta has been more stressed than ever. He opens his mouth to argue about how he doesn't have time for sleep, but I hold my hand up to stop him. "I have an idea. Lie on your stomach and close your eyes," I command, jumping out of bed.
He gives me a confused look as I head into the bathroom, but obliges regardlessly. "I'd argue but chances are I wont win."
"You're right about that," I call, rummaging around in the drawers and cabinets for a small brown bottle I know I brought somewhere. I grab the bottle of massage oil, making a split second decision to rid myself of my clothes before reentering the bedroom. "Are your eyes closed?"
I can almost hear Peeta rolling his eyes, sighing before responding, "Yes." I hurry back into bed, straddling myself over his back. He tries to look up at me, but I lightly push his head back down. "Are you naked?" He chokes out, incredulous.
I lay my chest on his bare back and whisper in his ear. "What do you think?" I plant a kiss on his neck before nibbling on his ear, the moan he lets out is music to my ears.
Its nothing compared to what he lets out once I squirt a handful of massage oil in my hand and start rubbing out the knots in his back. "You are surprisingly good at this," he breathes midway.
"Just relax, and push everything out of your mind," I coo in an attempt to soothe him. "No spreadsheets, no voters, no polls. Just your naked girlfriend giving you a massage." For the first time in weeks I see him relax and be quiet for once.
When I finish with him I try to get out of bed, but Peeta is quick to grab my arm. "Where do you think you're going?" He asks playfully, flipping over in bed. I roll my eyes, but he pulls me in so that I collapse on top of him.
His boyish grin is infectious, and I dont hesitate to play along. Small pecks turn into open mouth kisses, and soon I'm clinging to him in desperation as I feel my body threaten to fall apart in pleasure. "Peeta, Peeta, Peeta," I repeat, over and over again, my moans filling the room. "Please don't stop," I beg as he pushes in and out of me, his head hanging in the crook of my neck.
I squeeze my eyes so tight that I begin to see stars dancing behind my eyelids as I feel the waves of pleasure overcome me. Peeta reaches his relief soon after, pressing light kisses all over my face before I push him off of me. "I love you," he whispers in my ear.
I don't respond, instead choosing to run a hand through the hair that's starting to hang on his forehead. "You need a haircut," I say softly before grasping his jaw in my left hand. Those may not be the words he was expecting in response, but he knows how I communicate.
"I need to clean up," he says to me before rolling out of bed, a post orgasm smile on his face. I silently nod before stretching out in his bed - our bed - while casually keeping an eye on his firm ass as he makes his way to the bathroom. I smile to myself, already feeling the effects of sleep deprivation overcome me, but I'm jolted awake when I hear Peeta call my name not even a minute later. "Katniss?" He sounds hesitant, and I sit up to look at him in bed.
"Yeah babe?" I question, my heart tightening when I see his expression. His face is pale, and he's looking like he's seen a ghost. Theres the used condom in his hand, and I freeze when I see it- a distinct tear in the latex. My mouth drops open as I look from Peeta to the condom, and my post orgasm comfort disappears completely.
I struggle to find the words to say, but Peeta beats me too it. "Katniss, I'm so sorry," he pleads like it's his fault, but it doesn't make me feel any better.
"No, no, it's ok," I insist, even though it's not really ok. I feel numb, but I will myself to keep my breathing even. "We're just going to go to a 24 hour CVS and get Plan B, because we're not having any accidents right?" I try to reassure him, but I know I'm reassuring myself. I hate the way hes looking at me like a wounded animal, so I avoid his gaze and focus my attention on the sheets.
"Ok," he agrees, slowly nodding his head. "Alright. I'm going to go clean up and I'll be out in a second."
We're back in his house in less than 20 minutes, and I sit at a bar stool while Peeta fills up a cup of water for me. I turn the box over in my hands, the green and pink coloring already making me nauseous. He places the glass in front of me, studying my face when I look up at him. I haven't said a word since we left for the drugstore, and I can tell he's worried. "Thanks," I offer meekly, ripping the box open and briefly glancing at the directions. I've never taken the morning after pill before, but I've been with Madge when she had to.
With shaky hands I unwrap the tablet, glancing at Peeta before popping it in my mouth and washing it down with water. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as I put down the glass.
"Are you ok? Do you want to talk?" I can tell he just wants to help and I know he hates when I shut him out, but I can't help but feel suffocated by his presence.
I hop off the stool, ready to make my escape. "I'm fine," I lie. "I just want to take a shower, and I'll meet you in bed." A look at the microwave tells me that it's almost 2 A.M., and I know Peeta is more than tired. He must believe my lie because he doesn't call after me as I start heading up the stairs, not even waiting for a response.
I lock the bathroom door behind me, staring at myself in the mirror before stripping off my clothes in a haste. For the first time since we've been dating, I cannot wait to shower away the feel of Peeta's hands on my body. They only remind me of how careless and reckless we were, and how our actions could bring another person into the world. The idea only makes me feel sick - I'm probably the last person qualified to have a child.
I feel angry with myself once I step into the shower and I feel tears behind my eyes threatening to fall. Why am I upset? I ask myself. We took care of the problem, and now it's done and over with. I have an amazing boyfriend who I'm sure is concerned about me, yet I'm in the bathroom alone, crying?
The tears come quicker and the shower stream can no longer hide the sound of my sobs. I feel even worse when I hear the sound of a knock on the door. "Katniss, are you ok?" Peeta asks, his voice full of worry.
I shut off the shower before responding. "I'm fine!" I try to yell, but the words become distorted by my sobs and sniffles.
"No you're not, Katniss. Please, open the door," he pleads. "I'll sit out here all night until you do." I know he's not kidding, even though we both have work tomorrow. So I cave, and unlock the door.
He sighs when he sees me, naked and dripping wet, with tears still running down my cheeks. For a split second I feel ashamed, afraid he's going to judge me, but instead, I find myself being tightly wrapped in his arms. My tears and wet hair soak through his shirt, but he continues to hold me until my whimpers even out. "It's ok Katniss, you're gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine," he repeats over and over again as we sit on the bathroom floor.
"I'm sorry," I apologize, and the tears threaten to fall again. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I repeat helplessly.
"You're sorry?" He asks me incredulously, pushing a strand of wet hair out of my face. "For what? You didn't do anything," he reassures me, but it doesn't do much to make me feel better.
"I'm so reckless not being on the pill, I could have ruined your life and mine," I heave.
He doesn't even pause to contemplate my words, brushing them off like the quiet insecurity he knows they are. "Katniss," he says, and I can tell he is searching for the right words. "You could never do anything to ruin my life, alright? This was an accident, as much my fault as it is yours. But it's handled, and everything is going to be ok. I promise."
If there is one thing Peeta Mellark does not do, it is make false promises.
And so I finally break down my walls, and we talk. We talk about our relationship fears, and goals, and wishes, and he reminds me that he's here for me, no matter what. I confess how much the idea of a happy future scares me, and how I've never pictured myself in a relationship that I feel is long term. We talk about what we're going to do after the election - if he wins or if he loses - and everything we come up with involves each other.
The last time I felt this safe and secure was before my dad died, when he used to sing me to sleep before starting his night shift at the mine. I fall asleep in his arms on the floor, and I don't wake up until I hear the ring of my alarm in the bedroom.
Despite the mug of coffee I clutch in my hand, I still feel like a zombie as I walk in to work the next day. I almost don't notice that Darius, the security guard, is calling my name until someone in front of me points in his direction. "Miss Everdeen, there was a package delivery for you early this morning. Intern offered to bring it to your office."
"Thank you Darius," I call behind me as I continue making my way to my office. I fiddle with my key, nearly dropping my coffee when I push the mahogany doors open. But when I walk in, my nostrils are immediately assaulted by the smell of roses and I fight the urge to gag.
I immediately find the source of the order sitting on my desk- a very ornate bouquet of white roses. My heart speeds up as I pick up the attached note, anger already bubbling for whoever delivered this gift. All the blood rushes out of my head as I read it to myself.
- Katniss Everdeen
It would be delightful to meet you tonight, my office, at 9:30 PM. Please come alone.
- Cornelius Snow