Unhallowed

Part 10

On September first I found myself and the Grimmauld entourage on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters; Magically concealed behind the barrier between Muggle Platform Nine and Platform Ten, this Platform is where Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry students board the Hogwarts Express on 1 September, in order to attend school.

Standing before the large startlingly large red steam engine, I tried to stay close to Hermione. Nervousness was growing in the base of my neck, which I cracked methodically to try and ease the tension. The Weasleys pushed a few hand trolleys containing all of the trunks. I had my purse (which Molly had generously enchanted with an Undetectable Extension Charm) slung tightly over my shoulder. It contained a few essentials, my wand, school uniform, and my sweet Esper curled up atop all of it.

Luckily the day had been fairly stormy, so I had jacket with a hood thrown up over my head—it helped to reduce stares, though the same could not be said for Harry. I had glanced over the papers a few time through the summer and noticed the hysteria surrounding him and Dumbledore.

Things had started to get quite hectic in the Wizarding World- the death of Cedric Diggory, the Triwizard Tournament, Harry and Dumbledore's claims. Many people didn't believe what had happened last year…I probably wouldn't either, except I could look straight into Harry's eyes and see what was lingering beneath them…Not lately however—since the incident that night I had avoided Harry as much as possible. I took to barring my door when I did drink and made sure to let someone else know what I was going to do that night.

After a few minutes I was being herded with everyone else onto the train. I had originally intended on finding a cabin to myself and keeping it locked the entire ride, however I hadn't planned on arriving to the train only a few minutes before its departure. It was virtually impossible to find a vacant cabin. The train was overflowing with people bumping into each other in the narrow path. I tried to keep my purse tucked close to me to avoid knocking Esper into people as I kept my eyes glued to the ground. I was painfully aware of my proximity to so many people—it was inducing mild claustrophobia. I tried to pretend that it was just a dance club, where hearts were racing and everyone was pressed against each other in large confines…however that was failing—so I focused on the my uncomfortably soaked converse as we trudged to the back of the Hogwart's Express. Hermione was leading the pack, Ron in tow with her. Ginny and the twins had broken off to find friends. A shy, clumsy, introverted boy had noticed Harry and they were trailing closely behind us. I stood as straight as possible and followed Hermione's brisk pace, I thought of Esper, I focused on my waterlogged shoes…anything…anything to try to distract from his heartbeat.

There was something about Harry. It wasn't just that his wonderful fragrance burned my throat or boiled my blood. It wasn't that he kept quiet enough to keep me interested. It was his…his essence? Something made certain targets more appealing to vampires. Their blood, their company, their physical attractiveness- yes…but there was something more, an essence of sorts. Perhaps it could be defined as soul, but most vampires did not dabble in such thoughts, mostly because it was commonly believed that we did not have souls. I pushed that thought aside. I continued to follow Hermione to the back, and continued to ponder the effect Harry was having on me. I was drawn to him. Though it was difficult to be anywhere near him since I attacked him.

Shortly after I attacked him I was made aware of everyone's involvement in the Order of the Phoenix, though not everyone was directly involved. Basically, all of the adults were members, and none of the children were. Though the term "children" was an arbitrary label given to everyone that was still attending school, I did not mind. I had no intention of joining The Order. Members of the Order, however, made very obvious attempts to keep Harry away from me, or me away from Harry…semantics. In practice it was fairly effective. I learned nothing about him, we rarely talked, and I was still unsure whether he was fascinated by me or morbidly disgusted. I felt his eyes glued to me in painful silence whenever we were around each other—I responded with cold indifference. It was the only way to ignore that honey emanating from him: that wonderfully sweet smell that made my teeth ache and my body uncomfortable. Sometimes I wish I could dream, then I could blame my fantasies on an overactive subconscious rather than errant thoughts. Gravity seemed to pull towards him, in the short moments we were in the same room, and I found myself swept towards him—slowly, but very certainly.

I shook my head and took a deep breath. Hermione had finally found a compartment; she slid open the door and plopped onto the bench closest to the window—Ron quickly sat down next to her in what, I'm assuming, was an attempt at nonchalance. I followed suit of Hermione and took up residence across next to a window across from her. It would give me a distraction for the trip.

" 'Ey, Neville, I didn't notice you," Ron seemed to brighten up as he noticed the boy named Neville. Neville, glancing tensely at me, seemed relieved to take a seat next to Ron. They began to talk about Quidditch amongst themselves; something I had yet to try. A few moments later, however, my attention was rerouted. It was my turn to tense.

Harry was the last into the compartment and he slid the door closed as he entered. I snapped my head back out the window. I heard him sit down next to me on the bench seats. I let my face rest against the glass; it was cold; it was comforting. I gambled a glance towards Neville and Ron and noticed a toad sneaking its way out of his lap. I also noted the Crookshanks seemed undividedly interested in the toad's movements. Speaking of comfort. I remembered my purse that was tucked snuggly between me and the wall of the train. I slid it onto my lap and snapped it open. Esper lazily crawled out of the bag. She was so warm: it was so odd that I found something so warm so comforting; generally I associated warmth with that claustrophobic feeling that began to awake that burning in my throat, but not with Esper.

She stretched out like a cat and beat her wings a few times and began to hover. She brought herself over to Hermione and then dropped herself onto Crookshanks. It snuggled into Crookshanks' long fur and made a half-hearted bat at his nose. Crookshanks, however, was having none of it, and so Esper clumsily took flight again and this time, swept over towards Harry. While I was interested in watching what would happen, staring at Harry for any period longer than an instant lended itself to making my entire body uncomfortable. I became painfully aware of his presence.

Esper dropped herself onto his shoulder and nuzzled at his hair. I watched his eyes widen in surprise.

His hand reached up to reposition his hair, however in readjusting it I became aware of his fragrance wafting through the compartment. This is going to be a long ride. I pressed my body more firmly against the train, away from Harry, but I continued to stare. I noticed Esper make a contented purring noise as she began to bat playfully through his hair and at his glasses. He didn't make any move to stop her, and it wasn't long before Esper was gnawing contentedly on the glasses. He let out a small laugh. My breath hitched in my throat, as it always did when I heard his voice. It was an overwhelming representation of his pure and tempting essence, and it echoed in my ears. I now realized how much I wished I was able to be close to him. Wish that I was able to run my fingers through his hair, or nuzzle myself against his neck; to allow my hands to glide up his jaw and cheekbone and remove his glasses with one hand while absentmindedly running my fingers across his shoulders, or arms, or chest, or lips. Perhaps in that order. I tightened my lips into a straight line to prevent my teeth from baring. I tried to keep my eyes focused on Esper and what she was doing, but I my eyes kept pulling themselves to stare at his bare neck: pale, uncovered, and inviting. I imagined my lips touching it ever so gently and the quiet, wonderful noises he would make. I imagined him pressed up against the wall and—

A loud whistle rang from the front of the train and the Hogwart's Express lurched forward. Bugger, only what…3 minutes? How am I supposed to make it through till evening?

I tried to bring my mind to focus on the night when I did have him pressed against the wall, when I could feel his blood pumping beneath my body. How soft his hair felt against my cheek and how amazing it smelled. My body began to grow tense and somewhat achy. I continued to think about that soft milky skin, how easy it would be to tear through. I allowed my stomach to turn over. That's what it had been like to have him nervously beneath me. Ungodly tempting…and the only way to satisfy it was to…I grimaced in disgust at myself.

Then I glanced back at Harry. He was slouched over, his arms resting on his knees, and his head resting in the palm of his hands. Esper had curled herself up on the back of his neck. I checked my restraint, and then slid over and removed my purring lump of fluff from his neck. He slowly eased straight. I brought my legs up onto the bench and leaned my back against the window. I crossed my legs, plopped Esper in my lap and stared at the compartment door.

"I do adore it," Harry said. My eyes shot back to his, though I made no show of emotion. "Your…Esper I think you call it. It's amazing." He gave a crooked smile that reminded me of the conversation at the pet shop. I stared into those wonderfully emerald eyes. They twinkled with a small fire—nothing harsh, something akin to candlelight, just a small burning, enough to see; enough to draw a moth.

"About time," I smirked. I brought Esper up to my face and planted a kiss on her black little nose. I repositioned my legs so that my I brought my knees almost up to my chest, and then placed Esper in the space between. I was again aware of my wet shoes, so I removed them and let them flop to the floor. I let out an edgy breath before allowing my eyes to flutter closed. I can't sleep, but I can distract myself. I used all of my energy to pull my focus away from my senses into my mind. In my mind I allowed music to float across my conscious. I nicely paced Piano Sonata. After it ended I chose another classical piece, then a Big Band piece, then some stringed pieces, then back to Classical piano. It was a habit I helped to cultivate when I needed to calm down: it mostly numbed my outer senses and allowed me to trot through my conscious. However, this afternoon I decided not to allow errant thoughts to come to life, so I just focused on the music. This helped me disappear into myself for a few hours.

I realized a hand was shaking me out of the trance a whimsical violin held me in. My eyes quivered open as I took in my surrounding. It was substantially darker than before. The hand that clung to my shoulder belonged to Hermione. Ron and Neville had fallen asleep, mouths agape, and heads tilted to either side. Then I noticed the pressure against my knees.

"It's getting dark," she nodded outside, "that means we'll be arriving soon. We should get changed and tell them to do the same." I glanced down at my knees, which were very much asleep, though I could still feel Harry reclining against them. His back was facing me, but I assumed he was asleep. His hair lay messily against the jeans I was wearing. I turned back to Hermione and silently nodded my head. I pulled my dead legs out from under Harry's weight and replaced them with my hands. My feet hit the ground harder than expected and it caused a bit of a startle, but everyone remained asleep. I tried to get my hands a better hold on Harry's well-sized shoulders, but it was difficult: he was heavier than I anticipated, and he was unconscious. Though he's acting like he's dead- oh, for heaven's sake! As his head slumped to the side, his shoulder did too. Swiftly I slid my arm around his torso so that I could get a better hold to move him. I felt his sizeable hand grip my upper arm, which pulled my awkwardly down across his lap. I crooked my head towards Hermione. She looked thouroughly too bemused by my present state.

"I understand the hilarity of the situation," I loudly whispered, "but would you mind assisting me Miss Granger?" With a small smile on her face she acquiesced. After rearranging Harry, we grabbed our bags and headed for the door. My legs felt heavy, but pins pricked through them as they slowly started waking up. My feet felt cold, being bare against the floor. Hermione loudly cleared her throat. No response. She banged her foot loudly against the compartment. They started to stir…well except for Ron whose only response was to let out a snort.

"Honestly," She mumbled. "Wake up!" She screeched. It startled me a bit…and Esper wasn't too pleased either.

After finally waking up the boys, we headed to a lavatory to get changed. We were in separate stalls rustling out of and into clothing when she started, "That was cute."

"Hmm..?" I hummed back absentmindedly.

"Oh…just back there…with you and Harry…and well…" she began to become more flustered. I, however, was frozen in place.

"Excuse me?"

"Just..you know… you two…you're kinda… you're cute together, that's all."

Now generally statements like these are not made on their own. Girls do not ponder the cuteness of two people at random, well not usually. There has to be a basis for it—and my mind raced trying to identify that basis. Well I did attack him…but I quickly passed that thought and tried to recall any meaningful conversations or looks or action, but the more I tried to focus in on it, the further away it seemed to be.

"Elaborate," I commanded more than asked.

"It's just…oh you know…it's nothing…really," she sounded worried…and I wanted to know why.