Chapter Nine
Footsteps rang out on the ladder, causing both of them to look back until a small brown haired girl popped her head up over the rooftop and she stilled. Her gaze going from Carol to Daryl. Almost surprised to find another person up there before Daryl stood up to greet her.
"Needed a friend to get through this," he admitted, unsure of how much that made him feel like a coward and didn't particularly care at the moment. Avery didn't seem to either as she nodded her head and continued up.
"Glenn and Maggie are just waking up. Sounded like they would be up here in a moment." She dropped a bag onto ground and started ruffling through it. Daryl watched as she pulled out one single white candle sat ot on the small makeshift table in the middle of the roof. She looked up in time to see Daryl lifting an eyebrow at her and Carol's own confused expression before focusing on lighting the candles.
"A white candles represent light and goodness, a passage of purity of sorts," Avery explained, pulling out a thing of matches and placing them on the ground.
"Ain't never gonna get Merle to pass through anything pure," Daryl mumbled, rubbing at his jaw now as he watched the girl set up her little table. She pulled out a small bottle of virgin olive oil and poured a small amount on her hand before rubbing it down to the middle of the candle and the repeating the movement back up to the middle.
Daryl got quiet after that, watching the girl as she seemed to focus her attention all on that candle. Mouthing words that he couldn't hear and closing her eyes for a bit. Carol nudged him in the arm, pulling his attention from the moment in time to see her shrug. A 'what the hell' look plastered across her face. He answered her in kind and looked back at the girl to see her shoulders slump and say, "No, there isn't an ouija board anywhere around here."
"Be easier," Daryl mumbled, earning himself a slight glare from Avery.
"Well then one of you Dixon's run down to the store and buy me one." She glanced at Daryl first and then to a blank space across the roof and Daryl could only assume that Merle was standing over there. Possibly getting a good laugh at all of this. Thinking him nuts for even agreeing to this crap and half wondering if this might have been his idea. At least partially.
"The candles more for me. I can see them, talk to them. To bring them before you, I need a point of focus and lots of concentration." She held her hands up to emphasize the point. Giving Daryl a long hard look, compelling him to nod in agreement before looking away from him.
By now there was more footsteps ringing out on the ladder. Pulling their focus from the young girl kneeling before them to the couple coming up. Maggie and Glenn both froze as they stepped onto the roof and took in the sight before them. Daryl could only imagine what they saw. A strange girl, looking as if she's praying before a candle, an anxious man and a skeptic woman. Yeah, they made a great sight.
"You havin' a séance?" Glenn asked, nearly smiling as his own joke before he turned to Maggie. Expecting her to be smiling as well. Only Maggie wasn't looking at him. She was looking back and forth at Daryl and Avery. Meeting their heavy gazes with one of her own before she swallowed.
"You weren't lyin about a chance to say good-bye. To..." Her voice trailed off as Avery shook her head. Daryl could see her eyes growing watery with tears and realized Avery been working on her too. Telling her some of the same stories and making her believe.
Swallowing the lump in his throat he came around to Maggie. Grabbing her hands to hold tight in his own and stopping her from shaking her head. "We need this. Both of us."
"What if I can't let her go?" Maggie asked, the tears actually falling this time. Daryl gave her a long look. Knowing all to well what she was saying.
"She needs this. Needs you to be the stronger sister right now," Daryl whispers. Gripping her hand tighter for a moment as Maggie nods. Moving away from him to wipe at the tears and look toward Glenn.
"What's going on?" he asks, wrapping an arm around his wife's middle and pulling her close. Placing a hand on her face to get her attention and make her answer.
"A real chance to say good-bye, Glenn."
All three jump at the sound of the familiar voice. Turning toward Avery, who's now kneeling with her head bent and hands in Carol's as a small petite blonde stands on the other side of the candle. Her smile nearly lighting up the night and knocking the air out of Daryl's lungs.
He takes a step back, unable to believe that she's there. Tangled blonde hair and gray sweater. The exact replica that he's pictured day after day since she was taken from him. The smile still spread on her face and those blue eyes that captured him that night they sat that trailer on fire.
Everything as he remembered, except the scars. The only signs of his failure, that and the simple fact that she wasn't there. It wasn't her father they were summoning to say good-bye to, or her mother and brother. None of the other people that they lost. Just her.
The shallow lump formed in his stomach again. The weight of his guilt planting his feet to the ground as Maggie makes the first move. Her gasp barely audible as she pulls from Glenn's embrace and rushes toward her little sister. Stopping just inches from her like she isn't sure about something. It's Beth that makes the first move, that looks to have grabbed her face and is smiling up at her sister.
'I tried to take care of her you know," another familiar voice says, ripping Daryl from the sight of the two sisters to the older man beside him. "Kind of grown fond of her. Like the little sister I never had."
Merle's smiling, his eyes turning up in a good old fashion grin that Daryl hadn't seen on the man's face for ages.
It's a shock to the system seeing his brother standing next to him. Bald head and one hand tucked inside belt loop. The other arm hanging down at his side with nothing attached to it. Merle notices his brother's gaze and holds up his arm, turning left and right to illustrate the missing hand.
"Don't get to bring any weapons with you when you die. Which fuckin sucks cause I sure do miss my blade."
Daryl closes his eyes. The image standing there warring with the memory of his brother turned walker. The sight of him eating the flesh off of another human being the worst thing he ever seen.
"You fuckin left me, again," he mutters, not meaning to get angry with the man but unable to keep the words from slipping out. He always hated him for leaving. Leaving him with his father, leaving him for some drug deal. Leaving him with the Quarry group, and then...
"Ahh don't get all butt hurt now lil' brother," Merle draws, waving him off like he hadn't just seen Daryl fight back another round of tears that wanted to spill from his face. "Gave you time, didn't I. Saved your fuckin asses, right?"
"Could have spared yours too if you had just listened!" Daryl hollers, not meaning to get loud and biting his tongue as he looks around the place. Carol's got her eyes closed, a small smirk on her face. Glenn's staring, shell shocked, between Beth and Merle and Daryl ignores them both. Lowering his voice this time as he continues. "Just one fuckin time, Merle. One time. But no! You had to get all stupid and... and...Merle like. Just like on that damn roof."
"Been holdin this in for a while haven't you?" Merle asks, a grin still spread on his face as he looks down at his baby brother.
"Fuck you," Daryl snaps, turning away from the man and pressing a palm to his eyes. Willing himself not to cry.
"That why you tore up my pretty face, baby brother? You that pissed?"
"Hell yeah, couldn't stand the sight of you like that. That's not how you were supposed to go." Daryl turns back to his brother, noticing the gloating smile lessen a bit as the older man nods.
"I know," he mumbles, raising his hand up to clap it on Daryl's shoulder. A chill runs through his body but he holds still. Taking in a deep breath as Merle mumbles again, "I know."
Daryl didn't need to tell Merle how much he missed him. How there were days where that just the thought of Merle kicking his ass for giving up was the only thing keeping him going.
Merle squeezed his shoulder a bit tighter for a moment before saying, "knew the moment ya were just another mouth to feed that I would do anything I could to shield ya. Failed more often then not, but I did try. I tried my best."
"I know," Daryl mumbled, looking at his brother. Finally taking a long hard look knowing this was going to be the last time he ever saw him. Wanted to commit this Merle to memory, not the animated dead Merle that he put down. This one. His big brother. The only blood that he ever gave a shit about and ever cared about him. Merle gave him a lopsided smile a small gleam in his own eyes before he looked out at the people around them.
Looked at some of the people that managed to come together in this shit world and called themselves a family. "You did good, baby brother. You did real good."
"Did my best, just like you."
They shared a lingering smile. One that stretched the silence until Maggie turned into Glenn. Her silent sniveling could be heard across the roof top and Daryl turned his attention there. Scared that he missed his chance to say good-bye to Beth. Noting something coming toward them. A cloud of some sort looming over their heads, dark and stormy like. Avery shifted, her body jerking for just a moment before taking in a deep breath.
Beth broke away from her sister then, shifting Daryl's attention to her as she walked around the two woman kneeling in the center of them to stand in front of him. Her soft smile still spread across her cheeks though her eyes were red and filled with tears.
"You say good-bye to Mags, " he asked, unsure of what he should say to her now. All the apologies and lost words drying up in his throat as he realized he didn't have as much time as he wished he had. Wished he had eternity to speak with her. Tell her all the things he didn't before.
"Yep, for now, " she said, looking saddened at their visit being cut short.
Daryl shifted on his feet while Beth rocked on her heels. The silence growing awkward and Daryl internally kicked himself. Knowing that they didn't have time for this. That whatever needed to be said needed to come out cause Avery coudln't hold his forever. Already her shoulders were slumping further and that damn dark cloud was growing closer.
"Wanted..." Beth started at the same time Daryl muttered "I just..." They both stopped from interrupting each other. Beth giggled. The sound resonating in Daryl's mind as he prayed that it would stay there. Forever in his unconscious mind.
"Sorry," she muttered, smiling up at him. "I Just wanted to let you know that I don't blame you. Whatever it is that you think you failed at, you didn't. I shouldn't have gone directly in the road. I should have been more alert and I never once blamed you for anything."
"Beth," he whispered, nearly a gasp as his heart ached at her words. At the easy way she forgave him like there was never anything to forgive.
"I shouldn't let have ya go out there alone. I ran after ya. All damn night until..." his words trailed off as she nodded.
Her gaze focused on Merle. "He told me. About all of it."
Daryl nodded. Almost turned to give his brother a brief nod of thanks for doing as much but stopped. Waiting instead to gather his thoughts. "Should have told you how much you meant to me at the table and ignored the damn dog."
Beth laughed, reaching up skim her fingers across his face. Another chill went down his spine, making him shake as she went to move her hand away and Daryl stopped her. His hand lingering over where the cold started like he was holding her hand to his face as he closed his eyes. He could almost smell her, that faint smell of lilac that seemed to be apart of her skin. He knew it was the lotion that she carried around. The home made stuff that her and Carol made one day with another Woodbury resident at the prison, but it seemed to infuse itself to her skin and he took in a deep breath. Hoping that same smell infused into his own skin so he'd never forget it. Her.
"You saved me Daryl," she muttered, stepping closer to him. He shook his head, unable to deny the truth in front of him as he closed his eyes. "Yes you did. You saved me until I couldn't be saved anymore, then you taught me to survive and I failed you."
"No," he whispered, wondering in what world she could believe that she was the one that failed.
"Yes I did. I left you and I shouldn't have and I'm sorry." Her other hand came up to grip the other side of his face and he could feel the tears running down his cheeks. He thought the lump that formed while talking to Merle was bad. This was worse. This pain felt like his whole heart was shattering and he didn't know if it could be repaired.
She shouldn't be apologizing. It wasn't her place. It wasn't her failure and all he wanted to do was grip her tight and keep her close but already he could feel his hand slipping through hers. That bite of reality telling him he would never hold her again cause of his own failures and here she was apologizing to him.
"Don't," he whispered, unable to take it. "Don't. It's not your fault. It's mine. I lose everything I love."
"No," she whispered, pulling herself up on tiptoes until their foreheads were nearly together. "You didn't lose me cause this isn't good-bye. Don't you dare say good-bye to me Daryl Dixon. You know how much I hate good-byes."
"I won't. I can't," he muttered, barely a whisper but Beth was so close that she heard anyways.
She nodded her head as he opened her eyes to meet hers. "Good cause this isn't good-bye. You'll hold on and fight, cause that's what you do, and when you can't fight no more I'll be there. Waiting. And all those moments that you think are lost will be there. Waiting for us to be together, so this isn't good-bye. We don't say good-bye here."
Daryl nodded, closing his eye tighter for a moment. "I won't."
It seemed like the only thing he could say as he took in a deep breath. Her hand chilled the back of his neck for an instant before his whole body filled with goosebumps as her lips lingered on his cheek.
He looked up, that storm cloud right above their heads now though it looked as if the sun was starting to filter down through it. He could feel the seconds ticking by. Their shortening even more as he looked down at her. His unshed tears nearly blurring her image before he blinked them away cause he wanted to see her. Remember as he was.
"I love you, Beth," he whispered, staring her straight in the eyes so she wouldn't have a doubt in her mind. "Have for a long time. Just didn't know it."
A smile spread across Beth's face. "Love you too."
A shadow appeared on the roof with them, slowly taking form until Daryl could make out Hershel standing on the roof with them. Standing there on both legs as he clasped his hands together in front of him. Expectantly waiting for something and Daryl looked down at Beth to see the tears in her eyes for a moment before turning to face him.
"I'll be seeing ya, Greene."
That mischievous smile spread across her face as he smiled down at her. Nodding in agreement. "I'll be waitin, Mr. Dixon."
Beth pulled away from him, that smile lingering for a moment before she turned away. The first tear she been holding back falling down her cheek as walked away from him. Daryl sucked in a deep breath. Wondering what the price would be to follow her now. If he even could.
His foot moved, feeling like it was going to try when he felt another clap on his shoulder and a brief squeeze while he turned to face his brother one more time.
"You take care, Darlina. Don't be doing anything stupid now."
With a final squeeze of his shoulder Merle followed after Beth. Stopping long enough to stare at Hershel as the older man face him before nodding his head to follow along. Beth stayed wrapped in her father's embrace as the trio disappeared. The small bit of light from the cloud vanishing with it until the storm cloud itself was gone and nothing but the clear night sky with all it's stars shone over them.
Time seemed to start ticking again as Maggie fell down, Glenn gripping her tight to keep her from hurting herself While Avery and Carol seemed to slump to the side. Carol caught herself. Whatever daze she seemed to be in was quickly over turned as she blinked a few times and held on to her head.
Avery on the other hand kept falling, nearly hitting her head if Daryl hadn't moved quick enough. Grabbing the young girl at the last moment and easing her onto his lap.
The girl was pale. Paler then normal and he had to bend over to make sure she was still alive. He wasn't sure how long those conversation drew on. Could have been minutes or hours and he could never tell.
However long it took, it drained the young girl. To the point that barely a breath escaped her lips to indicate that she was still part of the living. Carol looked over in time to see Daryl grabbing her hand for a pulse point and quickly rushed over, placing two fingers on the girls neck and meeting his gaze when they both found a pulse. Barely there, but still beating
"She shouldn't have done that," Carol whispered, her own eyes filled with tears as she looked down at the girl.
Daryl nodded in agreement as he heaved the girl up some more. Drawing his vest off the table to wrap it around her. "Won't let her do it again," he mumbled.
He looked up in time to see something akin to aww resting upon Carol's face as she looked upon the girl. A light in her eyes that hadn't been there in a really long time and Daryl must have shown some hint of confusion on his face as Carol looked up at her.
A smile spread across her lips ."Got to see my girls."
Realize this isn't really an ending, cause it's not. There will be another chapter. One more that shows the aftermath of saying good-bye and what not. This chapter was just so draining. Not even going to lie. I cried just thinking about what Daryl would say to both Merle and Beth and how they would actually say good-bye. We all know they hate good-byes.
So I hope you enjoyed it. Hope it was everything that you wanted. I know some of you wanted to have away to bring her back, but that wasn't ever part of the plan. My apologizes for breaking your hearts all over again.