Day 7 of InspiredByOQ #inspiredbyOQ
Regina's first time by after Robin's death drabble.
Video by: EQChemistry
watch?v=fYdtWnIyHY0&t=0s&index=17&list=PLtQEMSq9jAL31DnSHjM1NyHGYH1ikMtze
TY to bolt41319 for the beta!
She hadn't been there since…
She hadn't dared. The gaping hole in her heart, the yearning need to have her emptiness filled would break her. She still didn't know how she had kept going, how she managed to keep the darkness at bay without him there. God, but it felt like he was always here - always.
She saw him everywhere. She remembered him everywhere. Felt him everywhere and yet, her mind kept telling her it wasn't real, that he wasn't there.
He was dead. He died, and he was just gone.
The silence in her office mourned him. She had stepped into her office a million times before, but this time it was different. She couldn't stand the sight, she couldn't stand the heartbreak.
She remembers it, as she steps over the place his body had fallen away from his soul, his glazed eyes, full of so much love, so much devotion and faith in her.
She saw it in his eyes, the shear fear, not of dying, but of knowing that it was his end – their end.
She feels it, the shiver in her spine, the memories shared in that office. Memories that now hold a bitterness at the end of them.
The picnic he'd made for her after her heart had been returned haunts her. They were happy, so blissfully happy and now all she wants to do is forget it all because the ache in her heart, knowing she will never have that again, won't go away.
She can't bare it, can't keep holding in the well of anger and loneliness.
It's the fact that she has to relive it what hurts the most, that every time she will come into this room, this place where her soulmate sacrificed himself for her, she will witness his loss all over again.
She'll relive all the beautiful moments, quick kisses and hurried sex against the walls of her office. The happiness, the heartbreak, the emptiness that will never go away, because he took half of herself with him, half of who she is and because of that she will never be whole again.
The knot at the pit of her stomach, mocks her. The constricting pressure in her throat fighting to hold in her shrieks heavy with pain that kills her every day, over and over.
But she needs to bare it… for him. She'll bare it every day until it becomes a routine, one that she'll grow fond of because it's the closest thing to him, to feel any semblance of him near her. She'll grow to love the pain as it brings her closer to his memory. And eventually, the pain won't hurt so much, won't mock her of everything she lost in seconds, of everything she will never have again.