I'm really sorry I'm such a bad author. I hardly update and I feel so bad!! :(!!
Anyway, I hope the lateness will be redeem in this chapter. . . hehehe You'll see. xD
OMG JACOB'S POINT OF VIEW!
Disclaimer : I do not own NOTHING. If I was S.M this whole fiction would be bias about werewolves.
Chapter Ten : Dictionary
I never really thought of myself as a horse before, but after today I have considered it, with Bella Swan clinging onto my back with dear life. If I could laugh in hysteria in this form, I surely would, and I would do it for a rather long time. Maybe it's wrong to find Bella terrified over nothing hilarious, but I guess you could say I have an odd sense of humour. Embry followed along beside me; mimicking my sprinting legs, dodging the trees that would come our way. I felt Bella's face plant into my back every time she believed I'd just dive into the trees. I felt a little offended in her faith in me. She still thinks of me as the dork on the beach. Easily seduced. Starry eyed from Bella's attempt to flirt with me for answers. I knew the whole time what she was doing. Of course I did. All she needed was answers. So, I gave them to her.
I'm getting distracted. Must focus on destination. I took a large whiff of the air. Just the musky scent. No vampires in this area. I guess I should be thankful. In Bella's case at least. My body continued to flow in the rapid rhythm. Flowing along like the usual wave in an ocean. It was all too natural. Now, I'm use to this normal feeling. When I first found out . . . it was utterly tragic. I never felt so disgusted in myself. Right when I thought things were going great. Although the fact Embry was not allowed to even glance in my way. I had Isabella Swan. But just like the first visit, Bella Swan needed something. Bella needed answers before, the second time she came to visit me, She needed motorcycles repaired. Sure, I was being used once more. I was just a tool for her. I wasn't thinking about my skill of mechanics. When I stared at Bella's suddenly worn face, the only thing I thought about was Edward Cullen and his cruel deed. Billy told me about it first; after I got in from the party.
The jam was being held at first beach. I wasn't even sure why a random party was set but Sam and his mysterious crew put it together. It was a celebration of victory. The vampires finally fled. Sam, Paul, Jared could finally rest. I didn't know about it until I put all the pieces together a few weeks after I became the monster I am today. I wanted to visit her straight away after Billy told me. I didn't know why. I knew in the back of my mind, I was just forgotten in her thoughts. Dad commanded me not too anyway. His eyes were calm and teary when he found out the Cullen's had left. He looked at me with such relief. But, back to Bella, he told me something about how she doesn't need to be reminded. It wasn't like I was going to march into her house and screech about how Edward Cullen is the biggest idiot. But if it came up, I probably would have. So, I did what I was told. I continued on with my normal life.
"Jake, Are we there yet?" I heard the soft voice. She was basically pleading for my answer. I snapped back into reality and decided that I wouldn't go any further down memory lane. It's the present. Bella is here with me and not Edward Cullen. I should be soaking up these moments. They won't last long.
"Jake. I know you can't answer me properly but can you grunt if it's a no or bark if it's a yes?!" She screeched a bit at the end as she saw a large tree come into view. She once again, hid her face in my russet fur. Once again, Bella wanted answers. And again, I gave her one. I barked happily.
"Good. . ." She soothed into my back and gripped tighter. So, if I gave Bella everything she needed, I gave her the strong facts that Edward was a leech. I fixed her motorcycles and I taught her how to ride. What did she need now though? How am I being used this year? And why don't I mind? I was just happy to have her with me even if she'll never be mine. No matter how many deeds and favors I do for her.
"Jake. . ." Embry's voice cooed inside my head. Shit. I forgot. How could I possibly forget? Of course now, I don't think about this crap when I'm in my decent form but now I think about it so the whole world can hear. I'm such an idiot. And Here I am, still ranting on.
"Sorry for thinking." I grumbled inside. I hoped Bella didn't notice. I felt my grunt rip through my back and bounce between her thighs.
"I know how you feel, Jake. It's okay."
"You don't, Embry. Have you ever wanted something so bad but deep down you know that you aren't good enough ? That you don't deserve it?" I asked bitterly.
"I could imagine." He tried to convince me.
"No. You can't."
"Jacob, Bella punched Lauren today. Do you know why?" Embry asked in a demeaning tone.
"Because Lauren called Bella a slut." I answered simply.
"Well, when Lauren called Bella a slut, Bella laughed." Embry explained.
"Your point, Isaac Newton?" I mocked his lame attempt at stating.
"My point is that Bella only punched Lauren because Lauren told Bella that you deserved better than Bella." Embry answered. The answer seemed to echo inside the corner of my mind. So what? I don't deserve Bella. What's the big shocker. Bella should know I don't-
" She meant that Bella isn't enough for you." Embry corrected after hearing my rant.
"Oh, it's still bull." If anything I was certain of, the conclusion I came with made more sense.
"Jake, would you stop beating yourself up?" Embry begged.
"Right." Stupid werewolf mind reading thing!
"I can still hear you." Embry reminded.
"Well, good! I hate it and everyone should know!" Then I heard Embry start laughing loudly.
"That sounds more like the Jake I know. Anyways, we're here now. I'm going to take off. Give you and Bella some alone time." Embry sang in my head. My wolf form even rolled my eyes. He really was a jerk.
"Ay, heard that." Embry chuckled and before I could tell him that he was suppose too he cut the other direction. All I could see was his tail whipping at his back legs. Bella gripped tighter now to get my attention.
"Jake, where is Embry going?!" She hollered past the blaring winds. How was I supposed to answer? I sped up and then soon enough I saw my little home. The roof was glazed with frost and I noticed that there were two lines in Billy's wheelchair ramp. I guess he went out. I came to a halt at the back of the house and adjusted my back in a motion to translate Bella to hop off. She understood. Bella swung her legs over me and it still made a lot like a horse. I opened my mouth and waited for her to give me my clothes. Her crossed arms untied and she placed my jeans and then my shirt.
"Should I give you your shoes too?" Bella asked. I nodded. So, she obeyed. It was awkward to hold two shoes, a pair of jeans, and a shirt all in my mouth at once but I managed and jogged to a tree.
My body tremble and shook violently. There was so much pain but it also had a strange pleasure to it. Making my muscles ache in such a rhythm. The fur was decreasing and thinning off. My legs posturing properly. My paws now moulding into fingers. I was back as the lanky teenager. I stood in the snow in nothing but my birthday suit. I didn't even shiver.
After I put my shoes and jeans on, I waltzed back to my house. Bella leaned against my house with her arms crossed. Stroking her arms rapidly. I wish I knew what it was like to be cold again.
"Hello." I greet happily. Bella gazed up. Her teeth were chattering. Bella's eyebrow furrowed tightly.
"Holy crow, Jake. Put your shirt on. You'll get frost bite." Bella marched over and snatched my shirt from my shoulder.
"Arms up." She ordered. If I could feel any warmer, my cheeks would be hot as hell. I lifted my arms like she asked. She opened the bottom of the shirt with two fingers. She got on her toes and pulled it over my head.
"I'm not a child, Bella." I muttered while putting my arms through the sleeves.
"Could have fooled me." Bella said under her breath.
"Let's go inside before you freeze, unless you want me to hold you we can stay out here." I suggested with a tint of hope leaking in my voice. Bella smirked.
"I think we should go inside."
"Party pooper." I added childishly.
"Sheesh, The temperature has died since last week." Bella pulled off her coat and placed it on my bed.
Yes, we were in my bedroom. How much of a tease could this girl be?
So, unfair.
"Well, it is winter." I cased rather clearly. I fell apart and landed on my bed. My back soothing into the mattress. I stared at the ceiling. It wasn't exactly the best distraction but it was the best I could. Bella in my bedroom. This was a fantasy that was too played out. I heard a soft rustle and Bella was sitting on the bed glaring at me.
"Can I help you?" I asked within a large yawn.
"You could elaborate on this whole eclipse business." Bella drummed her fingers on my soft red quilt. She was impatient, for sure. I was so relaxed too.
"What's there to know? It's a werewolf thing. The vampire allies wouldn't understand." I summarized bitterly. I really didn't want her to know. It was just something I was ashamed of. Something I was petrified of. If Bella knew I was afraid it would only cause her to be scared.
"Excuse me, if you haven't noticed I'm breaking a lot of rules just sitting here, Jacob Black." Bella crawled forward to me.
"Sitting, oh my, oh my, you are such a rebel. Teach me your ways, oh great one. Teach me to be you." I snapped in an outrage. Bella frowned deeply.
"Shut up, Jake. Just tell me."
"So, you want me to shut up . . . but tell you?" I asked in complete displeasure.
"Jake, why can't you tell me? You told me everything before. Even Embry wants you to tell me so you can't say the pack is against this." Bella's voice cracked in too many emotions. I hate this part, the tears.
"Sorry I want to keep something to myself?" I retorted in a snarl.
"Jacob, Stop being so annoying and just tell me!" Bella flared.
"Bella, why do you even care!?!" I roared. Bella gasped right after I finished with the volume. She stared at me for about a second, and then two of her hands grasped my face tightly. She gazed at me within her hold. Bella lurched downward at me and pressed her lips against mine.
I couldn't move for a second. Her action had made me paralyzed. Bella Swan was on top of me on my bed kissing me like the world is about to end. She was using so much force now. Passion. My body came back to life and my hands and lips were quick to react. My hands gripped around her waist and my lips pushed with hers. My head swivelled to the side and I grew attached to noises of our lips parting every few seconds. I nipped at her bottom lip softly, begging for an entry. She accepted and I swear to god I never felt so infinite.
Our tongues met and it felt like a magnificent reunite. My lids were shut gently but all I could see was Bella's smiling face. My heart was hammering and I thought at this rate I'd die of a heart attack, at least I'd die a happy man. I lifted Bella carefully-without unlocking our lips-and I positioned her under me. Her hands then let go of my face and wrapped around my neck. Every cool touch from her made my body shiver. It was an extraordinary sensuality.
"J-Jake." She moaned my name in such a sweet sound. This feeling was indescribable. The only way I could explain it was like fulfilling a life goal; climbing the largest mountain, finishing the masterpiece, seeing the sun for the first time, a mother giving birth for the first time, or finding your soul mate.
Everything just seemed to click at this moment. Bella removed one arm from my neck and her hand slid under my shirt, which I found ironic since she was so eager to dress me outside. She traced around my firm abs.
"I love you." I whispered into her ear.
"I love you too-"But then after she uttered the words I've been dying to hear, she quickly sat up. I was on my knees in confusion. Wondering what I did wrong. Her fingers grazed her lips. She wasn't even looking at me anymore.
"I'm sorry." She mumbled through pressed lips. I smirked a little and rubbed my jaw.
"Don't be . . ." I mumbled back. I don't care if we did stop; Bella just told me she loved me.
"I don't know why I did that . . ."Bella had tears forming in her hazel eyes.
"Why you kissed me or why you told me you loved me?" I asked half concerned. Most of my thoughts were living up the moment and partying.
"Why I said, err . . . Why I did . . . both I guess." She sniffed. I rested on my side and stared at her.
"You kissed me because you love me, and you love me because that is how we are." I explained trying to get her to make contact with me. It worked. She turned her head slightly.
"Jake, I . . . I can't do this to you. I'm just toying with you over and over and I'm unsure what I'm doing even now . . . I just . . . I don't want to hurt you."
"Bella, what do I have to do for you to realize that I'm the one you need. How many more kisses? How many more pointless conversations? What words do I have to say to convince you?!" Bella flinched as I yelled.
"This was about the . . . the eclipse." Her attempt at distracting me was lame.
"Tell me, Bella. Tell me what words do I have to say?" I basically begged her. Bella swallowed and now all the tears created came in a river down her cheeks. She heaved and desperately tried to wipe up the mess. I stood up from the bed and watched her carefully.
"What words? Because I'll say them all, Bella." I cased. Bella whimpered loudly and look to the left wall, refusing my contact now. I grabbed her chin, lightly. Our eyes met. They swam in her tears and all I wanted to do was dry every single droplet.
"Give me a dictionary, I'll read it out if that's what you need. Just give us a chance." I pleaded and I never felt so pathetic.
"I have to leave. Now." She informed sharply. She slowly slid off the bed and snatched her jacket. I stood frozen. There was really nothing else I could even think to say. She marched out of the room and gave the door a hard slam. Even behind the thin walls I could hear Bella sobbing hopelessly. Tonight she would compare Edward to me now. There was a beacon of hope like a candle telling me I might of convinced her. I didn't know what else to say but all I could think of
"Take that, leech."
I don't know if everyone will like the last line, just something I kept thinking of when the kiss happened xD
Stupid Bella ruined the ending of the chapter.
ANYWHOO. If you are a fellow author, you might notice when you are editing up a chapter and your all finished, a pop up takes control of your site and then when you go back EVERYTHING IS WELL I JUST WROTE EVERY SINGLE USER WHO REVIEWED AND THEN A DAMN POP UP RAPED MY SCREEN!!!! GAH!!
So now, Aly-Cat101 is angry. And is too lazy to do it all over again. So I just want to thank everyone who reviewed and next chapter I'll decide on the best one again xD
I'll just put the users of who reviewed for chapter nine.
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I think everyone deserves a preview for who scrolled down to see me type review xD
[PREVIEW]
"Bella, you can't avoid me." Edward snarled as he leaned on the next locker. Bella heaved a sigh. She really didn't need to see Edward right now. She had just enough on her mind, thank you very much. "I'm allowing you to see Jacob now, are you satisfied? You got your way." He informed in snap. "I saw Jacob without your permission." Bella answered putting her math text book in her locker. "I'm well aware." Edwar injected. "What?" Bella asked in a ton full of annoyance."I followed you the day after we stopped talking. How you dived into Jacob's arms and were giggling like a fool." His jaw locked, yet Bella wasn't afraid in the least. She was surprised. "You stalked me?" Edward didn't mind the choice of words. He nodded. Bella groaned and slammed her locker door. "Edward, I really need to be alone." "For now? For the next week? How long, Bella?" "I don't know!" "Well, I need to know!" "Why?!" "The eclipse-" Edward yelled then bit his lip. Realizing he said something he obviously shouldn't of. (Not edited.)