Just Need Someone: A Future Worth Fighting For Chapter 10
AN: Sorry for the delay was busy with work and my mom's chemo plus some other things. As I noted previously this chapter entails events that happened at the same time as Aura and company were chatting up Wrex, and Milra almost got jumped in the alley.
==Several Hours Previously – Normandy Crew Deck==
Samara and Sunra spent much of the time before the 1730 briefing in silence, simply meditating and focusing upon her biotic training. The hour before the meeting was then spent putting to practice that mediating into practical uses. After the meeting though and everyone had left Sunra found herself in her quarters, formerly the Starboard Observation lounge, now remade for her own use.
She was presently alone while Samara checked in on Falere, and delivered her the evening meal, as well as assignments for study and meditations. The feelings of hours before on her years ago relationship with Maltow came back in full force by this time.
She sighed staring out the now smaller panes of windows. Below, the slowly regrowing world of Tuchunka came into view lit by the local systems solar body. Sunra laid her hand on the cool glass, "..You would have liked this view.." She thought as if speaking to the now long dead Maltow. "..I wish you were here, or that we had least had more time together.." she further thought with sad regret.
She was disrupted from her thoughts as the sound of the door's chime came to her ears. She realized with a start that it was the third time it was being rung. "..Oh sorry! Come in!" She said turning to find the door opening, then and a brief flash of worry which soon cooled over Samara's contemplative older features.
"..Is everything ok Sunra?" She asked entering as the door shut, the elder asari taking a moment to look around the room. To the left side the room held a small book shelf of oak and brown swirling metals, a few books and thick data pads were held on it. Small trinkets from likely Sunra's earlier child hood with Ashley growing up on display here and there. A full size bed was next to it, plush but simple covers of silver and gray tones covering up a single large body sized pillow. A small table was near the now far smaller circular windows with three wooden chairs. The left side of the room held a small three person couch with a knee high table with a simple hand made piece of art work that had swirl arcing patterns to it with a myriad of colors.
"..I...I was just lost in thought. I'm sorry Mother if I made you worry." Sunra finally replied with a faint hint of a timid tone glancing down at her feet and the floor.
Samara felt the swirls of trouble coming off her daughter's body posture, "..It is quite alright. Had I been truly worried for your safety I would have been able to force the door." She stated with confidence, then moved over to the small table and eyed the strange hand crafted piece of art, carefully picking it up she turned to Sunra. "..Did you make this?" she asked.
A saddened look passed Sunra's eyes and she shook her head, "..N..no that was made by...by Maltow. The Salarian friend I mentioned earlier, she wasn't much of an artist but I convinced her to make me something that just came to her, that was the result after a month of work. She...gave it to me the last time we met, something to remember her by and our time together over the past years. She...was having an arranged marriage within the next week and...her parents had forbid me from attending." She said coming over as she spoke and gently touching the art piece.
Sunra sighed taking it gently and setting it back down, "..I was so angry that they denied me that. While I...I cared for Maltow I was willing to understand that her duty to her family and the arrangements and contracts were what were equally important to her as well. Milra offered to sneak me in since it was on the Citadel but...I didn't accept." She said taking a seat on the couch.
"..Maltow sounds like she meant a lot to you at that stage of your life. Did you ever get to see her later on?" Samara asked sitting on the couch as well and crossing her left leg over her right and resting her hands on her lap.
Sadly Sunra shook her head, "..Not in person no, she sent me a few messages for a year or so. I replied too in kind, but her parents soon caught on and her husband was...a bit of a influential figure with business deals. Once we got found out he threatened to slap a restraining order on me if I did not stop our conversing. He also stated that if Maltow did not cease things he would find their marriage and mating contracts void, which her family could not afford. Maltow was ready to cut ties but...I met with her in secret and begged her not to, because it would destroy her family and her two children's lives. I...I don't' know even now thinking back on it if I did the right thing." She said softly
"..It is hard to say if you did the right thing, depending upon one's perspective." Samara stated, "..on one hand you did what was right for the majority of those you knew and who were associated with them. On the other your choice likely left Maltow feeling frustrated and trapped in a relationship which seemed without care or love." she explained about to go on when Sunra interrupted.
Sunra looked at Samara, "..That...that makes me feel even worse Mother!" She said clutching at her hands and looking down at the art piece again even more sadly as if on the verge of tears.
"..Let me finish please Sunra.." She gently chided, "..your Father would have argued for you to find a way to have taken a middle ground that would have had your own happiness satisfied, and Maltows while at the same time ensuring that the influence and threats that this husband of hers had would be nullified." Samara went on, but was yet again interrupted but Sunra.
"..But what of your thoughts?" She asked.
Samara pursed her lips in thought a moment, "..Were I involved and not bound to Aura at the time these events occurred, given you indicate this man likely had shady business deals and corrupt influence. His actions would likely have violated the Code in any number of ways, many of which could have ended in...less then pleasant ways." She stated.
Sunra considered this looking down at the art piece. "..I guess it does not matter now. She is gone, as are her children for that matter, and her shitty husband." She said.
Samara leaned over touching Sunra's right hand that was reaching for the art piece. "..Sunra, an asari's life span will find us seeing many of those we meet in our long lives pass away. Too few races live at the lengths we do, Krogran mainly and arguably the Geth these days as well. In your schooling were none of our culture's views on this matter explained?" She asked.
"..Well...yes but...it never made sense to me." She said now once more holding the small art piece as she sat back on the couch, giving a faint sigh of frustration.
"..What did not make sense to you?" Samara asked relaxing in the same fashion.
"..Well I mean...it sounded like we did not care. That the memories while inside us of those we meet, and bonded with lived on, did not matter. That they held little value, like two ships passing each other on an open ocean in a foggy storm.." Sunra tried to explain.
Samara privately sighed inside her mind, so much of both Milra and Sunra's lives had been corrupted and troubled simply due to what these Ancients had done. "..Sunra, do you believe this?" She asked.
"..Well, I guess some...maybe?" She replied with a considering look on her face.
"..If I believed as you do based on what you said. How do you think I might feel on my former bond mate with still having Falere, with loosing Rila and..." Samara paused, "..my point is how do you think such thoughts would cheapen the lives they had? The experiences that defined me and in turn others I met if my time with Telso, Falere's father, was as simple as two ships passing on an ocean?" She asked.
Sunra's contemplative look fell quickly, and her head looked downcast at Samara's frank words and the idea that she had likely insulted her Mother deeply came to her. "..I..I'm sorry Mother I...I had...not thought this..." She stammered then fell silent as Samara's gentle touch came on her shoulder.
"..Shh, I simply wished to make you think on this more carefully. I apologize for being so direct but it was the only way to break through to make this more clear. Do you understand?" She asked.
Sunra nodded then bit her lip as if she wanted to say something. Samara spoke once more, "..Speak your mind Sunra, we are here to discuss things, and hopefully to give you more a peace of mind." she stated.
"..Well...it is just...Father and you...um...have you...spoken of..well you know past uh relationships?" She said the last part in a hurried stammer.
Samara gave a faint smile, "..It was actually one of our largest hurdles to overcome after the Reaper War during my pregnancy with you and Milra, and shortly after." She said beginning to explain but yet again Sunra interrupted.
"..You were uncomfortable?" She asked curiously obviously a bit surprised at the idea.
Samara shook her head no, "..Not at all it was your Father who was unclear how to accept this fact. Especially when we at times visited Falere on Lessus after the war to aide in rebuilding when we could." Samara explained.
A faint smile came to Sunra's thoughtful face, "..I bet that was a bit awkward for Father, you and Falere, no?" She asked.
"..Not for myself really, and Falere was more uncomfortable with how Aura would treat her given her...condition rather then ever thinking I no longer cared for her or the memory of Telso and her sisters." Samara explained. "..In truth it was Aura's own awkward worries that had us visit so often and in turn then produced such 'awkwardness' as you say." She said a quirk of a smile passing her lips as if recalling a particular amusing memory or two.
Sunra relaxed some nodding in thought, "..So, given this sounds a bit like what I am dealing with now to understand, how did Father handle things?" She asked.
"..I did what many Asari in my situation like this have done. When conflicted with a bond mate that has these feelings. I shared with her the memories and experiences, so she could understand how I would cherish them but not let them ever be used to 'compare' with the relationship we had now. It may not have 100% fixed the issue but...before we were taken much of it was handled to a satisfactory way." Samara said.
Pursing her lips again in thought Sunra considered this some, "..Would it be ok if I talked more with Father on this particular topic when she has the time?" she asked.
"..I see no reason you could not, though I would caution that you should expect some unease once you first bring it up. A bond might be the best option for Aura to fully explain what she means and feels. Despite having the mysterious ability to talk two or more groups to go from strangling each other to death to holding friendly hands. She seems inept at more...family or more general matters outside of military life. Or else politics relating to a military theme.." She said with another amused quirk of her lips. "..A pity you likely do not recall your own first talents with Milra in showing biotic potential and she was left to feed you and care for you both for several days while I had a meeting on Thessia. She was quite unprepared for it." she said.
Sunra blinked, then let a soft laugh escape her lips, "..Is that what that one picture is from? Where there were those brown stains on the apartment wall? The one taken when we were about three or so I think?" She asked.
Samara nodded, "..Despite our best efforts we could not remove them all, I proposed having the painting stripped and repainted anew, but your Father said to leave the worse ones be as a reminder for herself to better herself. It is a human thing to remind oneself of weakness to then improve from it once lessons are learned." Samara explained.
Sunra nodded a bit, "..I guess, that is what makes humans so exotic and adaptable compared to the rest of us hmm?" She asked.
"..Indeed, though their lives are short, they can accomplish great or terrible things in that time. It was a realization that took me...some time to fully understand and not till I traveled with Aura did things make more sense." Samara explained.
"..I just don't know how she did so much, and...and with how she used to be and yet became who she now is. She showed me a lot of her life growing up and her early military career." Sunra said.
Samara gave a slight nod, "..It is fortunate for your Father that the Code bids me to judge her upon her actions when I meet her, and traveled with her. Things may not have been..." Samara pursed her lips trailing off.
Sunra nodded after a moment, "..I guess not, especially given her deals with black arm traders." She said.
"..Indeed, your father deeply regrets those times in her life. But yet they did have a benefit for her as well. It gave her an iron edge that she sometimes uses in various ways that had she not been as such she would not be so strong willed as we know her now." Samara stated, "...and she clearly in my view has atoned for her darker past. Even if she will not fully allow herself to admit to that.." She said.
Sunra gave another nod, going quiet as she digested all this, nearly five minutes passed before Samara rose and strode over to the smaller lounge windows. "..A pity the Geth deemed fit to reduce the overall window's sizes. I quite enjoyed meditating and being able to view the stars while sitting.." She stated.
Sunra soon joined her leaning slightly on her mother's left side and resting her cheek on the cool leathers and cloth Samara wore. "..Mother?" Sunra asked then fell silent.
Samara put an arm about Sunra's waist reassuringly after a moment, "..What is it Sunra? Speak your mind. I can already yet again sense your nervousness." She stated.
Sighing Sunra nodded a bit then continued to stare ahead out the window, "..When did you know Father loved you?.." She asked.
"..That is hare to exactly give one point in time, Sunra. If you are asking when Aura first stated her affections to me then that would have been shortly after she assisted Admiral Hackett in...confirming a possible threat by the Reapers." She said.
"..What did you do?" Sunra asked tilting her head up as she stood up fully then curiously.
"..I...I declined Aura's attentions and affections at that time. Things were too complicated with the threat of the Reapers looming. It was not till during the war that with the very real possibility that all our lives could end tomorrow and that I saw that were I too once more turn down Aura's declarations for affections once more I would …..destroy her. That I gave her my promise that were we to survive we would see where things led." Samara said.
"..So you did not feel anything for her before that? I mean...I am sorry Mother but it seems like you simply gave into Father's affections only to save everyone." She said.
Samara turned and raised an eyebrow at her daughter, "..There was far more to it then simply that at the time Sunra." Samara stated frankly, "..but to answer your question yes. Before Aura first stated her affections for me. I had felt stirrings of...affection for her as well. Feelings I had long thought buried, I had not felt the need however to act or state them. Due to the fact that my realization on recognizing them was shortly an hour or so before we were to attack the Collector Base. The feelings I felt were confirmed when I had thought I would die from a fall after defeating the Reaper larva with your Father. A.." Samara said but Sunra interrupted.
"..Father showed me that, she dove after you and caught you just as you fell off the edge. I..I think that was her own realization too. She almost told you then and there as you fell how she felt." Sunra said.
"..I am aware Sunra, perhaps had the fall been longer she very well may have said it.." Samara stated, then tilted her head slightly as Sunra once more nervously looked at the floor. "..Is there something else Sunra?" she asked.
"..Well, how is it do you know when the feelings you got for someone is...love vs say simple lust?" She asked awkwardly
Samara gave a quirk of a smile, "..That is a question many young maidens like you ask at some point Sunra. It is rarely a question that can be simply answered. The best words I can say is what my own Mother said to me once when I asked her similarly." Samara said.
Sunra looked up with intense curiosity in her eyes awaiting Samara's words, "..When you meet that person who makes you feel safe, who makes you feel cared for, who makes you feel content, who either solely or together can provide for you both. Who makes your very body spark from a passing touch or compliment. You will know that it is love vs say simple lust. Though there is nothing wrong with the second so long as you are careful that you do not allow your more primal urges to...allow unprepared events to occur." Samara said
"..Huh?" Sunra said tilting her head.
Samara sighed, "..I mean to the last part Sunra, that sometimes if you imbibe in more lustful bonding and moments you may allow your body's instinctive urges to map your partner's genetic memories and markers without realizing it. Causing you to possible be with child before you wish too." Samara explained.
Sunra's blush and shifting feet showed she had not fully thought that out. "..Oh right, sorry.." She muttered. "..I guess Milra figured that out better then I did huh?" she said.
"..Most likely yes, but it is still something good to hear for both of you. In either case is there any other questions you may have?" Samara asked the two now back on the couch, Sunra after a moment laying her head onto Samara's lap and wrapping her arms around her waist.
"..Not really at the moment, unless...unless you got something else to do at present could you just hold me for now? Stroke my crest?" she asked glancing up.
Samara nodded resting her left hand gently on Sunra's crest and softly stroking it soothingly. Sunra soon quieted and relaxed, going further once Samara began to softly sing an old asari lullaby that she knew Sunra would enjoy from the memories. It was near on 30 minutes later that feeling relaxed herself Samara forged a gentle bond between them both as her daughter drifted off into a comforting sleep.
AN2: Well ok I had thought of having Aria's scene here with Sunra in this chapter but its getting a little long now. So I'll tag it into the next chapter. R&R please!