Sounds of gagging and hysterical laughter echoed from the living room, and I knew his son was giving him the full treatment. I heard the comment from him, 'Like father like son" and I knew he
fixing to get peed on, and sure enough I heard gales of laughter followed by howls from both father and son as he got pee all over his clean shirt and face. Spence was deadly with his aim and he had
drenched all who failed to cover his bits with a wipe before beginning the clean up process. I got the laundry swapped around and walked back in to watch the boys finish up the job, and I knew that
he was going to be a quick study when it came to dealing with the messier parts of being a father. He got Spence redressed and bundled up and leaned back against the couch with him cuddled up in
his arms, smelling his head and just absorbing the wonder that is baby. J.D. said, "Hey, you wanna see him get born, I videoed it and you can see it all go down." Young rock star was down with that
, so the guys set up the video and I got to relive all that trauma, though it was funny to see the young rock stars eyes about pop out of his head as they pulled my uterus out and laid it up on my
abdomen so they could cut the baby out. I have to give it to J.D., he was great with the camera and got in there and got all the gory details in super high definition. Young rock star reached over and
squeezed my hand as Spences first cries were captured by the camera, and I could see he was deeply affected. "We will make you a copy so you will have it, I also have an entire dvd load of pictures
you can have.
I got him to follow me into Spences room and he was surprised to see it was monkey themed, and the wall hanging about the crib stunned him. He turned to me and said, " You didn't just erase me?
You were making me part of his life even though I wasn't around?" I told him that if he hadn't come around, I would have gradually started fazing him out, in order to prevent any questions that would
have been painful or hard to answer and J.D. would have simply stepped up and claimed him as his. I told him that as things stood, his birth certificate was blank with his father unnamed to protect him
from being rejected or from media attention, but that was simple to fix if he was wanting to be involved, though we had to figure out how that was going to work. "My home is here in Portland. My
career, my family, my friends and everything I know is here, there is stability and sanity here and I can tell you that those things are pretty damn important for a child. I don't want him to have the kind
of life like that poor kid that was in those movies has, where he cant even go outside without being stalked by those paparazzi freaks, you know how I would handle that kinda stuff." He ruefully
laughed and agreed that the media circus would be a potential powder keg all the way around, "But I am not there yet, by a long shot, I am still just me." I agreed, but I also had been paying attention
and I knew the buzz was predicting that the coming year was going to be a big year for him, with a lot of big projects and a new album and videos that would but him in the media glare like never
before and I told him that I had seen those reports. He blushed and said, "Its true I have a lot coming up in the next year, but they could all turn out to be duds too." I just rolled my eyes at him. "Yeah,
right. Look, you are on tour or traveling around the world constantly, so what I am saying is that what you need to see is that him staying here with me is going to be the best for him, and when you
are in town, you come here, are you willing to concede that?" I knew he didn't really have a stable home life, and did tend to wander about the country, so I hoped he would be willing to listen to
reason on that point, and surprisingly he was, " Yeah, this is his home and you are his mom, so I could see that this would be the best for him." The next thing we needed to figure out was whether or
not he was going to give him his last name. " Do you want him to have your last name? I had left you off the birth certificate and left his last name as Swan in order to prevent any questions from
popping up and to keep any unwanted attention off of him but if you are going to claim him, how much are you going to claim him?" I wanted to know if he was planning on admitting publicly he had a
child, because if he did, that could complicate things here, but we would make adjustments either way, I had to allow him to have some control and to feel like he had some say in things so that he
wouldn't feel like all the decisions had been made for him. " I would really like for him to have my last name, and I want to be on the birth certificate. I intend to live up to my obligations and pay support
for him and provide for him." I kinda laughed at that last bit because the child wanted for nothing and I told him that. "He has more than enough at this point, he is fully covered by my insurance, he has
more clothes and toys than he will ever play with or wear, so he doesn't need your money. He needs to know you. If you want to pay support, start him a college fund and put it in there, or when he
starts school, you can pay for his extra-curriculars, but for now he has more than enough and what I can handle, his grandparents and his two uncles take care of." His family. That was something that
we hadn't really discussed. They had a grandson that they had never seen and that wasn't exactly fair and I reminded him of that. "You need to send them a picture before some media outlet gets a
hold of this and breaks the news to them on TMZ or something." We walked back into the living room where the Captain was sitting on the couch with Spence asleep on his chest. "Have you two got it
hashed out enough to realize you aren't going to kill each other?" We both laughed and nodded, he said, "Good! Can we eat then? Im starved!"
Dinner was a happy affair, everybody talking and laughing and joking like life had not undergone dramatic changes over the last year. Spence slept through most of it amazingly and I actually got to eat
a hot meal for the first time in a long time. Young Rock Star and daughter chatted like fast friends and it was just a great bonding time for all of us. During dessert, Spence started fussing and before I
could even move, young Rock Star was up and over to him, giving him his binky and gently rocking him back to sleep. I was impressed that he seemed so earnest about being involved with his son, but
I was also concerned, because I hadn't had to really share the baby before, and now I was facing sharing one of the most precious things in my life with someone who was a virtual stranger, and who
lived a lifestyle vastly different than the one I lived. I hoped we could make it work without me having the desire to thrash the hide off of him or it ending up in the courts every step of the way, because
I had seen what had happened in those cases and it was never a good ending for the children or their families, so I was going to draw on the fact that we were adults and we needed to do what was
best for the baby, I just hoped he felt the same way.
After dinner we cleaned up the mess and the Captain and J.D. decided it was safe enough for them to head on home to their place for their private Christmas celebration and daughter headed off to
visit with her best friend and their family and to distribute gifts to them and collect her loot, with plans to spend the night. I told her to not say anything about what had happened until we figured out'
what we were going to do or say to people, and she gave me that typical teen, "Duh? As if I want all of them over here harassing you guys and mauling my baby brother." And with that she hugged the
young Rock Star again and left, with the warning, "Behave yourselves! Mom! Don't hurt him!"
We were alone with the baby for the first time and it was getting close to his bed time, and because I was working hard to keep him on some sort of a routine, I didn't want to deviate from that
because it would mean having to start over, so I told young rock star that we needed to get him changed for bed, and settled in. He looked disappointed to have to put him down, but I explained that
babies are creatures of habit and they do most of their growing when asleep, and since he was a preemie, he needed extra time to sleep and grow. 'Can I help get him ready and tuck him in?" I
handed him his son, and told him, "Not only can you help, you are going to do it and I am just going to tell you how, while I get you some pictures of you with him. Lets go make him a fresh bottle and
then you can feed him his night bottle while I get his jammies and stuff ready." He looked nervous about getting barfed on again, but I showed him how to slow the rate down and burp him
intermittently so the puke wasn't quite as bad. I got some nice pictures of them together with my camera and even with his phone so he could send them out to his family right away, and I could
imagine there was going to be quite a shock facing them when they got that little holiday surprise.
After we got him down to sleep, we went back out to the living room to talk about the rest of the things we were going to have to sort out. It was going to be complicated and I knew it. I don't think he
quite realized just how difficult things could get in the long term, but he was young and he had just had a bomb dropped on him in baby form, and instead of freaking out and running as far away as he
could, he was trying to do the right thing. I had to respect him for that. " So what do you think?" I asked him. He took a deep breath and shook his head, "He's beautiful. I never thought that I would
see something so perfect and wonderful and that I would want to just be right there with him so much." "What are you going to do about that, I mean, you are all over the place and hes not exactly
verbal right now, though he is getting better, he's graduated from coo to gah, and im sure da will be coming soon." I always thought it was God's sick sense of humor that that even though I was the
one that had handled all the poopy diapers and barf and sick and late nights with my daughter, her first very clear word was , "Dada" , and I held no illusions that Spence would be any different. We
just sat there on the couch for a few minutes unsure of what to say now that everyone was gone and the baby was asleep. "So who are you seeing now, does she like kids?" He looked at me, "Im not
seeing anyone, haven't seen anyone since I left here, ive been too busy with work and stuff ." Well, I saw some pictures with you and some little Hollywood hottie a few months back and you looked
pretty comfy with her so I thought you had finally found someone?" He laughed "That is all your fault! remember you said that people thought I was gay and coupled with best friend? Well I told him
that shit and he freaked the hell out worse than me, so we both got some friends to hang out with and take some pictures with so that we could get those rumors to die down." I laughed, "Ohh so you
got a couple of beards?" 'What! No! Well…ahh Crap!" I guess that you would say that but you KNOW I am not gay! You have the proof in you bedroom!" He was laughing as he reached over to tickle
me and as I tried to smack his hand away he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him,(oh good lord was he going to do what I think he was going to do?) YES! It seems that old habits die hard and we
were soon wrapped up in each other, even though I was still a bit pudgy and gross feeling, and I wasn't sure I wouldn't leak breast milk on him because that was taking forever to dry up! But it didn't
seem to matter as we fell together. I did stop him long enough to tell him that there was no hope for a repeat of the little miracle sleeping in the bedroom, that I had been fixed, and all he said was,
"Fine with me" as everything else was lost to groans and moans.
Babies are not known for sleeping late. Young rock stars are. I was up with Spence in the kitchen, having already cleaned him up, changed him dressed him and fed him his breakfast and started my
coffee before his father even rolled over to the other side of the bed. The poor guy looked tired, and I decided to just leave him be for as long as he needed. His cell phone was on the couch and had
rang a few times, but I just let it be. It was his life, and I didn't own him, so it wasn't my business. I kinda considered him my personal alley cat and I liked it that way. I could feed him occasionally and
he would take care of business for me, he was good occasional company, but he didn't overstay his welcome. Spence was a nice reminder of him, and I loved my baby with all my heart, but I didn't want
the perfect little suburban family and I hoped young rock star didn't either. I didn't mind being a soft place for him to fall on occasion, but I was serious when I said I wasn't the marrying type to my doc,
I had been let down once to often to allow myself to trust in any man and I wasn't about to start with some overgrown kid.
I started cooking some a hearty breakfast that would hopefully put some ass back in the boys pants; eggs, bacon biscuits, gravy and grits would stick to him and give him a good place to start off from.
I heard the shower start and I knew he was up and about so I checked the dryer and put it on fluff to knock the worst of the wrinkles out of his clothes though by looking at some of the pictures I had
seen of him in the past, he wasn't too particular about that kinda thing.
I made sure Spence was napping in his carrier and I took the clothes back to the bedroom to that he didn't have to come wandering into the kitchen in the same grubby stuff he had worn all day
yesterday, and as I heard the shower shut off , I let him know I was setting his clothes and some coffee out on the dresser for him, and I went back to finish up cooking breakfast. I didn't know when
he was leaving, but I wanted him to feel at ease when he did it and truth is, I may not want him to stay around 24/7, but I was kinda protective of the kid and since he was my sons dad, that now
made him my kin, and I was obligated to look after him as best I could for Spence's sake. He came wandering into the kitchen and bent down and picked up Spence, cuddling him to his chest and taking
a deep sniff of the top of his head. I had to laugh at him just a little, I did the same thing about a million times a day. " You know, I think if they could bottle that smell and then spray it around
whenever folks are feeling like starting a war or fighting over something stupid, they would find it just makes people feel soo mellow and happy that they would never want to fight again." he said. I
told him, "You think that smell is powerful? Wait until you hear a baby giggle or taste baby toes! Oh man those are the cure for all kind of ills, including , worst days ever, bad traffic, mean bosses,
headaches, and just all kinds of bad stuff." He nodded, " Yup, I can totally see that being true." He just hugged Spence up closer and buried his face against him as I set a plate full of food in front of
him and warmed up his coffee. " Why don't you eat up and get some meat on your bones?" I patted his shoulder and he looked up at me, surprisingly with tears in his eyes. " I cant do it." he said. I
was a bit concerned, what couldn't he do? " I cant leave him again. I just met him and I want to hear him giggle and I want to be there when he smiles and cries and does all the amazing things that I
know he is going to do, and I cant do that if im not here." Oh…ohh shit, why did I have the sinking feeling that my alley cat was about to try and become a house cat?
He has to leave! Didn't we talk about this last night? He has a career that takes him all over the damn place and in fact, I assumed he was leaving this very morning, but instead he was sitting at my
kitchen table holding onto his son like he was the very thing anchoring him to the Earth and sounding like he wasn't wanting to go anywhere. I had no idea how to proceed. I couldn't knock any sense
into him, he had the baby in his arms. I could try reasoning with him, but I was not known for my ability to be diplomatic, I was more of a , "Command Presence" kinda person and I was used to getting
people to do what I commanded without being argued with, but I had a feeling that this boy was one of those anti-authority types that would do the exact opposite of whatever the hell I tried to force
him to do. "What about Texas? Aren't you supposed to be there now?" I tried going with guilt, that always worked on my daughter because she has a really strong sense of obligation so I hoped he did
too. " It was just to see my family and hang out for a while, they will understand especially after I send them those pictures you took, could I please stay, just for a little while, I wont be in the way and
I will take care of him while you work." I was prepared to flat refuse him, to tell him that I couldn't cope with a man around my house constantly, getting in my way, mucking up things and messing with
my routine, but you see he has theses things, the very same things that his son has, and its those damned eyes with those lashes…dammit! I swear they are capable of causing the loss if I.q. points in
even the most hard hearted of women. He turned them on me, and he gave me , "The Look", that under the bangs, plaintive, please don't break my heart, Im part puppy/baby Harp seal, look that just
turns my knees to jelly and I heard myself saying "Okay" even though my mind was screaming ,"What the fuck are you thinking! You don't let the alley cat stay in the house it will sleep on your pillow
and piss all over your good jacket and hump things!" He jumped up and hugged me, and I just felt stunned. What the hell had I just agreed to? I not only had a baby in my house now, I had a barely
grown man-child eating machine that was going to turn my house and my life upside down once again. He was promising to help with all kinds of stuff and swearing he would stay out of my way, but I
just wandered off down the hallway to my room to take a shower and to try and figure out just what the hell I was going to do with a house full of kids.
After spending a half hour in the shower debating slitting my wrists or wondering if I could justify having the young rock star incarcerated for some reason, I finally realized I was going to have to come
out and face him and set down some ground rules for my new and hopefully temporary, houseguest. Daughter had arrived home and was sitting at the table with him chatting while he gave Spence a
bottle. He did look really adorable doing that, and my stone, cold heart twinged just a bit at the happy little sounds coming out of the baby as he ate, and at the absolutely enraptured expression on
young rock stars face as he looked at him. Daughter smirked at me, "So I hear we are going to have a guest for awhile, this should be pretty interesting, especially since Ali is supposed to be spending
the night this weekend when her parents go out of town." Oh boy! Interesting is not the word I would use. Ali would be on him like white on rice and she could not keep a secret to save her life. If she
spotted him and even remotely suspected he was who he was, then she would have it tweeted out complete with pictures before she even got all the way through the door. I was going to have to
figure out a contingency plan of where to stash him, or I was going to have to get the girls to go stay at the Captains, that should be fun for all involved.
I was a bit grumpy as I tried to start my day. It was the day after Christmas and I was still on a sort of half-assed leave, but I had been going to the gym already and working out with either the
Captain or J.D. everyday for at least a couple of weeks, and I didn't want to start messing with things already, so I told him that I needed to start my day and if had things to handle and stuff to go get
from the hotel, then he needed to go do that while I called up my gym partner and found out why the hell they were slacking off and daughter kept the baby. I found an extra key and gave it to him and
told him he could stow his gear in the baby's room, but once we got some time to sit down and talk, we would need to lay some ground rules about things so that he didn't end up getting inadvertently
smacked up by me or any of my cronies who would not be expecting a random young guy to be hanging around my place, and we would also need to figure out is security around daughters crazy-
assed , hormonally charged pack of friends. He looked a little worried at the prospect of that problem, but daughter ensured him that she would run interference for him so he would be able to live in
relative peace,(from them at least) while he stayed with us, though she laughed at him thinking living with a baby was going to be all rainbows and butterflies.
The Captain showed up just as I was getting ready to call him up and bitch him our for being a lazy, sand-bagging, fat body, and he gave me the raised eyebrow when he saw that I was leaving the
young Rock star in the house with the baby and daughter. "So what's the word Swan? Should I be expecting to get an invitation in the mail? Am I your best man or your maid of honor?" I debated
shooting him, but I was afraid that would make me even further off my work out schedule, so I settled for flipping him off. " Now I thought we had resolved that question, you are not my type, but your
little friend, Him? Him I would defiantly tap." Ewww! That just …ugh. I did punch him over that one. "I would neuter you if you ever cheated on J.D. and you damn well know it." He laughed, "But, damn,
it almost wouldn't be like cheating…" "WOULD YOU SHUT UP? You are not 'Tapping" him!, Jeesh!" He full on laughed at me then, " Well Swan, you seem to be just a little territorial over his young ass
, what are you going to do when he leaves like you want him to do and goes back to that little cutie in his band?" I laughed at comment, "Hes not gay, Cowboy, and just how do you know about him
and his band?" " Well, if he was going to be around you and your daughter, I needed to know more about him so that I could make sure you would be okay. He is the father of my Godson, and I
needed to know he was a decent guy, so I might have done a little research on him." Riiight, research. I am sure the research entailed watching all the homoerotic soft core porn fanfic vids floating
around the internet and spanking it to them as well as reading more than a few of those Fan fics as well. I laughed that the thought of the Captain reading fan sites and fan fiction and kinda wanted to
bleach my brain too. "So what makes you think him and any of his band have anything going on?" He looked over his glasses at me, " You are kidding me, Right?" "Well, I said something about it when I
first met him and he flat denied it, and in fact he freaked out just a little, so I don't think so." He snorted , "Okay Cleopatra, but I will hold it over you when I am proven right, the boy may not be full on,
but he has swung from both sides of the tree more than once." He was just messing with me…right?
We worked out in the gym for a couple of hours, until I was to the point of feeling like I had beaten the heavy bag into submission and kicked the Captain around the sparring ring until he was ready to
cry, so we got cleaned up and headed out to grab some lunch while I called the house and checked on daughter and Spence. Things were calm and collected at the house, daughter said that the young
Rock Star had returned with one ratty bag of wrinkly clothes that she had throw into the washer, and his guitar, and he was asleep on the floor beside Spence. "I have totally been taking a million
pictures because they are soo cute together! How long is he staying? Can he stay forever? Can we keep him, mom Huh? can we keep him?" she asked laughing. Even daughter saw him as a bit of a
stray and I just told her that we would talk when I got home, but I was going to eat lunch with the Captain after we picked up J.D. She was okay with hanging out for a while longer and I needed to run
the situation past a couple of people that I trusted to give me good advice.
After we got J.D., we went to a restaurant close by the apartment in case all hell broke loose and we needed to go rescue someone, and I decided to cut to the chase, " My alley cat is trying to become
a house cat and I don't know what the hell to do about it. He wants to stay for awhile, the, "awhile" being undetermined so he can bond with Spence and get some experience being a father. He is
essentially blowing off his career and everything he has worked for to this point in his life to just hang out in my house. I do not know what to do about this. I am not used to having permanent
company and I was not wanting permanent company. I understand he wants to be with his son, but I did not want to have him to raise as well. We are going to have to worry about daughters friends
finding out about him because they would be all over him and I would be in the middle of a tween feeding frenzy with my baby as the chum. What the hell should I do?" They both looked at me and
laughed. Not a nice laugh either, but full on, we are making fun of your ass, laughs. I wanted to kick them both, but I kinda hoped they would have something to say after they got the worst of it out of
their systems.
J.D. was the first to get himself under control, (he always was the more civilized), and he said, "You are waay over-thinking things. Did he say he was planning on staying forever?" "No" "Did he say he
was quitting everything? "No", He merely said he wants to spend some time getting to know his son and bonding. I would be willing to bet he wont last more that 2 weeks to a month before he heads
back out on the road, that boy is a rambler and he might love that baby, but he loves his freedom more and he will put them boots to the ground before you have time to want to throw them out the
door and then we will be sitting here listening to you whine about how much you miss him." Well that just pissed me off! "That is not true! You know I don't like extended company and I get all anxious
and irritable if a guy tries to get all clingy and stuff, remember what happened with that damn paramedic?" The both cringed and cradled their packages, yeah…they remembered. That jackass had
thought that going out a few times had given him the right to show up at my house unannounced and try to force his way in for a midnight romance. Did you know that it is possible to not only rupture
a testicle, that there is such a thing as testicular torsion and it can be caused by severe twisting injuries? Paramedic couldn't heal hisself, and in fact he had to be sedated before they could even unroll
him enough to strap him to a gurney for transport. I only prosecuted him for trespassing, not breaking and entering and assault, though I had all the proof I needed, and he never bothered me again. "
I do not play well with others and I have already smacked him up a couple of times on accident, so the poor kid is already skating on thin ice, so when he does, ramble on down the road I wont be
whining about how much I miss him, I will be breathing a sigh of relief that he escaped unscathed so my son will have his biological father around in small doses."
They didn't believe me, but they were at least willing to offer to suggestions such as enlisting my female friend to take the girls on a shopping trip to Seattle for the weekend so that we could avoid Ali
until he left, but we were going to have to prepare for the inevitable, because once he was on the birth certificate and Spence had his last name, she was going to know and she was going to be upset
we didn't clue her in. Life was soo damned complicated, if I had just neutered the alley cat from the get go, none of us would be in this situation.