A/N: Hey all! Okay, I'm back from the hospital, and back to writing. And, I thought I'd mention that the only reason I have Merry going to Bag End instead of Number 3 Bagshot Row, is because Frodo left Bag End to Sam and Rose after he left. Or, that's how I understand it anyways. Please inform me if I am wrong. Anyways, my beta thought I should probably change it, but I decided to be stubborn, and leave it the way it was. Mostly. Enjoy!

Chapter Nine: In the Dark

There were no stars and no moon to light his way tonight. The sky was covered under a thick layer of ominous black clouds, but it was better than being…in there. In there, where he could smell death, feel it seeping into his father. He felt badly for abandoning his mother like that, but he had to get away, if only for a moment. That moment turned into an hour, and that hour into an hour and a half. The snow would have made him uncomfortable if he'd been thinking enough to feel it. He was numb, completely numb, not feeling anything. When he became aware of his surroundings once again, he saw a light in a window. It was the front window of Bag End. He hadn't realized how far he had walked in his blind grief. All of a sudden, he was very cold. He ran to the front door and knocked. It was late, he knew, but he was freezing, and quite a long way from home. He didn't want to walk back now.

He was surprised to see Estella answer the door. She seemed equally surprised to see him.

"Merry! What are you doing out there? Come inside!"

"Thank you," he managed between his chattering teeth. He listened to her babbling about how he should not have been out so late and in such cold, and how he would have to stay for the night because he couldn't possibly walk back to Brandy Hall this late. She sounded like his mother. He liked that.

Once she had dragged him to a chair by the fire in the kitchen, he asked, "Why are you here?"

She ran out of the room for a moment, and came back with a blanket. "Take off your cloak, it's soaked!" Once he had removed it, she draped the blanket over his shoulders. "Sam and Rose asked me if I could stay and help out for the last few weeks of Rose's pregnancy. Everyone else is asleep, so we need to be quiet, but you are not going to bed till you're warmed up."

"Oh," was his only response. He had at last noticed that she was in naught but her nightgown, and it made him a bit uncomfortable. She shoved a hot cup of tea into his hands and commanded him to drink it. After it was gone, she asked,

"Why were you out there?"

Merry sighed, watching her hands as she took the cup from him and set it on the table. He loved her hands. They were so tiny and perfect. 'And so soft,' he thought, as he took one in his own, gently rubbing it with his thumb.

"Merry," she demanded. "Why were you out there?"

He didn't really want to discuss it. Apart from the fact that it was painful, he was ashamed that he had left. His poor mother! But this was Estella. He could tell her, couldn't he?

"Merry?"

He had never heard her use that tone before. She sounded genuinely worried, maybe even scared. He felt her hand gently brush his cheek, and only then did he realize that he had been crying.

"My father is dying," he whispered. "I…I had to…I just had to get out of there."

At that moment, she did the last thing he expected her to do. She came to him, sat on his lap, and hugged him.

"Cry," she said gently. "Just cry. You need to."

And with that gentle assurance from her, he let every bottled emotion out. He held her tightly and sobbed, and found that she was crying too. He hadn't the strength to ask why, and just held to her even tighter, and cried even harder, his salty tears soaking through her sleeve, and hers through his. There was something that felt right about having her be this near to him, so close that he could feel her heartbeat against his chest. There was something calming about it as well, and it helped him to gather his thoughts, and bring his emotions under control.

"Stell," he sniffed. "Why are you crying?"

She wiped her eyes and then wrapped her arms around his neck again. "Because I don't like seeing you hurting like this. It hurts me too."

Merry hadn't been expecting that answer from her, and didn't know what to say. He remained silent instead.

"Besides that," she said, wiping tears off his face as well as her own. "You're a lad, and whenever I see a lad cry, it makes me want to cry too."

"Only, you normally don't," he pointed out.

She smiled a little. "No, I normally don't."

They sat in silence for a moment, simply looking at each other. Estella could see his gaze darting from her eyes to her lips.

When he started to lean in towards her, she abruptly stood and said, "Well, we best get this mostly cleaned up before morning." She took both of their cups over to the sink, gently setting them down as to keep quiet as possible.

Merry followed suit, putting the chairs back, and folding up the blanket she had gotten for him. He took it back into the parlor and then quickly came back to the kitchen to thank Estella. She wasn't there. Where had she gone? He wanted to tell her goodnight! He was being silly, he knew, but he wanted to see her one more time before he went to bed.

"Estella?" he whispered.

"Yes?" she answered from the hallway. "What do you need?"

He quickly covered the distance of the kitchen floor, and saw her barely illuminated form in the hall holding clean sheets, presumably for his bed. "Nothing, I just…wanted to thank you."

Confused, but smiling, she shook her head. "For what?"

"For…for…I don't know. For just being there. And for just being you."

Seemingly pleased with this comment, she nodded. "You're welcome, Merry. Do you think you can make up your own bed? It's late, and I am very tired."

He nodded, and she held the sheets out to him. Instead of taking them from her, he grabbed her upper arms, and pushed her further back into the darkened hallway, pressing her up against the wall.

She was startled and struggling to get away, which he found adorable.

"Meriadoc Brandybuck, if you don't let me go this instant, I swear I shall kick you somewhere you don't want to be kicked!" she hissed venomously.

"No, you won't," he replied. "You told me you don't like to see me hurting."

"Let. Me. Go." She repeated.

He grinned. "Kiss me goodnight."

He heard the thump of her head hitting the wall, and an annoyed sigh. In the dark, he could barely make out the scowl on her face. "On one condition; you tell me what you wanted to say at your Yuletide party. I already know what you meant, but I want to hear you say it."

Merry was flabbergasted. His arms fell limp at his sides, no longer holding Estella captive, but she remained where he had kept her.

After the initial shock, he mumbled, "If I say it, will you say it back?"

"I don't know. You'll have to find out. Just say it!"

He took a deep breath and looked her in the eye. "Estella…I…"

"Say it!"

"I love you, Estella."

She rolled her eyes. "Finally! And perhaps if I told you I loved you too, it would be easier for you to say it in the future."

"It would," he agreed.

She let him pull her close. "Then, I love you, Merry." Standing on her tiptoes, she gave him a rather disappointing peck on the lips before pulling free of his grasp and heading down the hallway to her room.

"Wha…? That's it?" Merry cried, though in a whisper.

"Yes! Merry, it is late, no one else is awake, we're in a dark hallway, and I'm not wearing anything but my nightgown! I'm terrified to do more than that! Goodnight!"

He couldn't help but laugh. "You're terrified of something?"

"And if you tell anyone, I really will kick you." This statement was quite effective in both shutting Merry up, and making him content that he had gotten to kiss her at all.

He picked up the sheets that had been forgotten on the floor, and went to the room he usually slept in upon visits to the Gamgees' home. Quickly making the bed, he thought about how she had completely changed his mood. She had made an evening of despair and anticipation of death into an evening of…finally admitting he loved her.

"She is amazing," he whispered to himself as he slipped into bed. "And I love her for it."

A/N: Review please! I will no longer apologize for my infrequent updates, just assume I'm sorry! Also… I have a random little one-shot about Merry and Stella that doesn't have any reviews right now! *Hint hint*