A/N: OhMyFreakingEdwardCullen! 130 Reviews?! Are you serious?! That is better than I could have ever thought! You guys are the best!

I know it took me a while. I'm sorry!

Happy reading!

Previously:

I walked slowly towards the front door. I exhaled when I got there, and hoped I looked presentable enough for the person on the other side.

I pulled the door open, and saw someone I least expected to see, and somebody I hadn't even seen or spoken too in almost 10 months.

"Jacob?"

Chapter Nine:

Bella's Point of View:

I blinked spastically. Jacob wasn't here. He wasn't stood at my front door. Not seeing me like this. Not like I was.

No. It wasn't happening.

"Bella?" Jacob looked at me, like it wasn't me he was actually looking at.

Did I look that bad?

"Hey, Jake." I smiled as best I could but it probably didn't work.

My mask had come back up, quicker than it ever had after a breakdown. I'd never been able to pull myself together this quickly after having one of my emotional breakdowns.

"Does that mean I can come in?"

"Oh." I moved out of the way. "Yeah, sure."

Jacob came in and I shut the front door. I turned back to him and Jacob had his arms folded, looking very seriously at me.

"So...How are you?"

Jake smiled briefly before going back to being serious. "I'm okay." He sighed. "I can't say the same for you, Bella. You're a mess."

What a nice way to start a conversation with somebody you haven't seen in 10 months.

"Thanks, Jacob. That was really nice." I walked away and more towards the living room.

Jacob caught up with me. "Aw, c'mon Bells." He smiled the familiar smile that I realised I'd missed.

Jacob and I had always gotten on well. There wasn't any getting away from that. But there was always a certain person that had gotten in the way.

I stopped right there before I could do anything that might threaten my mask falling down.

Although I got on well with Jacob, he could never see me break down. Ever. I could not bring another person into all my misery. It wasn't fair.

I sighed, which make Jacob smile again. "You know you can't stay mad at me."

"You are such a jerk!" (Seriously, I love that word!) My voice ending up sounding a lot lighter and almost happy. It caught me unawares.

Jacob laughed. "Thanks so much." He stepped forward and hugged me tightly. Something I wasn't expecting to happen. He'd grown a lot since I'd last seen him. I felt like an incredibly small child.

He pulled back and smiled at me again.

"You grew again. You know, you'll have to stop growing soon. It's not fair."

Jacob looked smug that the thought of being overly tall.

"How tall are you now?"

"6, 5''" Jacob grinned. (I don't care if that's wrong. Deal with it.) "It's not my fault you're so short Bells."

"Shut up!" I smiled weakly.

Jacob's face turned serious again, which scared me just a little bit.

I frowned, and then walked past him again making my way towards the living room.

Jacob followed closely behind me, and sat down next to me on the sofa.

I looked at my hands, not really wanting to look at him. I knew what I was coming; I didn't have to be a rocket scientist to figure it out.

"What happened Bella?"

I continued looking at my hands, whilst contemplating on my answer.

"What do you mean?" Well, that probably wasn't the answer I wanted to go for.

"Don't be stupid, Bells. You know what I mean." Jacob sounded almost mad.

I could feel my mask coming down already. It wasn't good that it was coming down already. I had to be able to keep intact more.

I would not break down in front of Jacob. I couldn't.

"Lots of things happened, Jacob. A lot of things." I sighed.

"I know, Bella. But what happened to you?" He sighed, and continued talking. "You're a mess. Not just on the outside. I don't like it, Bella."

I looked up at him. He was frowning but looked almost sad.

"What? You think I do?" I was suddenly angry, very angry. But this wasn't good. It meant that I was at more of a risk of breaking down. My mask was coming down, faster than I could do anything to stop it. "Do you think that I chose to do this to myself Jacob? That I chose to go through all of this?"

Jacob's eyes widened at my very sudden outburst. He hadn't been expecting it.

He wasn't the only one.

"No. Of course not, Bella. But I know that it's been hard -"

"No, Jacob. You don't know. People think they know, and they just don't. So don't think that you can know." My eyes began to fill up with tears and I blinked to make them go away, but only caused one tear to slip and fall down my cheek.

Jacob slid forward and wrapped me in a hug again. "I'm sorry, Bells." He pulled back and smiled at me. "I missed you, Bella."

I sniffed, although I was still at a lot of risk of falling apart after getting slightly emotional a minute ago. "I missed you too, Jake." I surprised myself but knowing that it was true.

Jacob had always been such a good friend, even if we'd not spent that much time together. I had missed him.

Jacob grinned. "I promise I won't bring anything up again."

I smiled weakly at him. "Thanks."

That was when I made a promise to myself. I would never let anybody see me in pain, ever again. I would always deal with it myself. Nobody else needed to ever know how broken I still was.

Not Charlie. People at school. Or Jacob.

I knew there was no getting away from the fact that I was still very broken, but I would deal with the pain myself and in the only way I knew possible.

Even if it wasn't the best way of doing it. It was the only way I knew how. It would always be the only way I would deal with my pain.

A/N: I know this chapter isn't great, but I wrote it in an hour and I needed to get one out.

I promise they won't be this bad after this. This chapter really is crappy. I'm sorry. :(

Review anyway? I can't believe we got 21 reviews for the last chapter?! Really?! AMAZING! :D

I know we won't get that again, since this chapter was awful. But can we at least get near?! Please?! Thank you!

"Cliiiiiiiick Meeeeeeeeeee!" Pheebo is mega pleased! Make him pleased again!

Right. I'm off to watch the X-Factor now. Review everyone!