Thank you for the reviews and favs!
I find it very strange that my two stories have the same number of reviews (or close to it) every week, even though different people are reviewing them. I think it's funny anyway XD
Disclaimer – Kishimoto is owned by Naruto
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Chapter 10 – Plot no Jutsu
The crowds grew larger and larger as the hours passed. Sakura watched them from the upper floor window. For the most part the civilians and shinobi gathered got along and there were no major disruptions. However, by the next morning it was clear that the city police weren't going to be able to clear the hotel's courtyard on their own. Lady Suzu did come up with a novel idea. A very profitable idea. And that was why Sakura now found herself with a new job.
A three sided tent with an air-conditioner was set up a hundred feet from the hotel's entrance. It had a table, several chairs, and several large posters of a swim-suit clad Sakura. All around the tent were shinobi from the village hidden in the Sand. Inside the tent Sakura sat nervously waiting and Kakashi sat next to her, frowning.
The hotel staff (with the help of more Sand shinobi) were placing ropes to mark a queue, while other's helped the throngs of admirers to get into a line. It was done very professionally and quickly. It seemed that when Lady Suzu gave an order, everyone jumped to it. Once again Kakashi and Sakura shook their heads in wonder.
"Sakura, we're ready to begin." Temari poked her head into the tent. "We will let the fans in one at a time and they can get your autograph. Try not to talk too long, there are a lot of people out there standing in the sun and they might get short tempered."
Sakura took a deep breath. The idea was a good one, she supposed, but there were now over five hundred people waiting to see her. What if she didn't measure up to what they wanted? What if they started another riot? What if someone came to cause trouble?
Kakashi reached over and put his hand over the top of Sakura's. "It'll be okay, Sakura. I'm right here."
She smiled. "Of course. I'm also ready Temari." Sakura took another deep breath. The first man to come in was a shinobi from one of the smaller countries. He nervously produced his bingo book and Sakura helped him turn the pages until her picture was found. Signing it she smiled at him and he blushed.
"Thank…thank-you Lady Sakura." He stuttered as he bowed and left the tent. Sakura breathed a sigh of relief. That wasn't so bad. And he was really sweet.
The next man, though, was the complete opposite. Rushing into the tent he produced his book quickly. "Man! I've been trying for hours to see you! You are the woman of my dreams! The answer to my prayers! The flower in my garden! The sun in my sky!"
"You are very poetic, aren't you? Here's your book back." Sakura smiled at the man's dramatics.
"Thank-you dear lady! I shall ride off into the sunset, but should we never meet again, know that you are always in my dreams!" The man walked out of the tent, head held high and book held proudly in the air.
Sakura and Kakashi laughed. The next several hours went quickly. Various vendors had shown up from around the city to cater to the beverage and food needs of the queued fans and Sakura was allowed several bathroom and food breaks whenever she asked for them.
Some industrious school kids had also started a business of standing in line for people who needed to use the restrooms. They were even provided with bright orange vests so they would be easy to find.
It was going way too smoothly. Sakura was relaxing and having fun, she easily made small talk with the men and answered questions about love and relationships for the women, and they gave her great advice in return as well. One elderly woman who was, at one time, a centerfold for a now defunct magazine gave her all kinds of advice on how to make her boyfriend feel wanted in the face of large numbers of fans who try to steal her attention.
"Now you must make time for him." The woman's old, shaky voice spoke weakly. "I didn't do that for my first boyfriend and he left me. I was decimated. My next boyfriend I was much more careful about. We always spent one day a week together. That's what you should do. Just forget everyone else exists and be together. Don't make the same mistake I did. You understand?"
Sakura assured the old woman that she did, but as soon as the women left the tent she sighed and looked at Kakashi. They hadn't spent any time alone – well, any extended time along since arriving a few months ago.
"We need a vacation, Kakashi. Just you and me." Sakura frowned.
"Yes." Kakashi answered, pre-occupied.
"Yes?" Sakura creased her brow. "What's wrong? You look like you're thinking very deeply. Did you hear what that old woman said?"
"Yes."
"Kakashi!" Sakura banged her hand on the table.
The silver haired man blinked and looked over at Sakura. "We need to talk later."
"Uh…Okay. About what?" He seemed to have a different train of thought going on and she wasn't sure what it was about.
"How much longer are you planning on staying down here?"
"I hadn't thought about it. There is still a lot of people outside."
Temari interrupted. "Everyone has been told that autographs will end at 6pm for the day, so you have one more hour, more or less."
"Thank-you Temari." Kakashi said seriously.
The next hour was a little less fun for Sakura. She was worried about what Kakashi wanted to talk to her about. Did that old woman make him realize how little time they spent together? Did he feel ignored? Was he questioning their relationship? He hadn't spoken much after lunch.
Sakura remembered when they had returned from the apartment around 1pm. Kakashi had taken Kankuro aside and asked him several questions, after which Kankuro had dashed off. He had yet to return. Perhaps something else was worrying him then? However, she couldn't get the old woman's words out of her mind.
The line fizzled out around 6pm. The Sand shinobi had cut it off and the remained fans, while disgruntled at not getting their turn, were given numbered cards so they could go off and have fun in town during the night and come back in the morning and get their spots back. Sakura was escorted back to her apartment, then pulled into Kakashi's room as he asked Naruto (who was cooking that night) to hold the food for fifteen minutes.
Kakashi went straight to his desk and opened a scroll, reading it. His brow creased further and further as he read further into the document. Sakura started to fidget, then stood still when she realized what she was doing.
"Sakura, I suspected that something was going on here, and I was right." Kakashi's voice was serious.
"What is it?" Sakura said in a small voice.
"Missions have a completion rate of thirty percent below normal. Shinobi are diverting from their missions to collect autographs, trade bingo books, submit photo's, and come here to see you. That is a sizeable chunk of profit for the various villages. It is my honest opinion that Lady Suzu is not the harmless mad scientist she makes herself out to be. She is up to something, and using you as part of her plan."
Sakura smiled. So he wasn't concerned about their relationship. That was a relief.
"Sakura? Why are you smiling? I thought you would be mad." Kakashi was puzzled.
"I thought…I thought you were mad at me for not spending enough time with you." Sakura put her hands on Kakashi's chest as he wrapped his arms around her back.
"Enough time? We spent all day together today. Also, neither of us is co-dependent. If you were worried about what the old lady said, don't."
"I am worried, and we have to spend time together, alone. I don't want us to grow apart and then use the words 'independent personalities' to describe our separation. If we are that type of person then we need to learn to be more 'dependant'." Sakura was getting worried. If they started to drift apart because they were too independent to stay together, then how could she ever find love again?
Kakashi wasn't sure he understood. He had been in a couple relationships before, and they both ended because he and the women had realized they were too far apart to be together. He never regretted the breakups, although he sometimes looked back and wondered "what if". However, Sakura was the woman he was going to marry. She wasn't going to get away like that.
"Let's go have dinner. Then we'll find a quiet spot to talk. About you never leaving me, me never leaving you, and what Lady Suzu might be up to."
"Of course. Now, I wonder what flavor of ramen Naruto made for dinner tonight?" Sakura was relieved.
Walking into the dining area with Kakashi, the first thing they noticed was that Naruto was reading a book. That in and of itself was an oddity, but when they saw the title of the book they groaned. "5001 Ways to Cook Instant Ramen." They noticed that each place setting had a different preparation of Ramen.
"What are we, guinea pigs?" Kakashi asked, smiling at the strips of beef in his soup.
"Yes! Hinata sent me this great book. I was looking through it and I saw recipe's that matched everyone. So I made them for my turn as chef. Come on everyone dig in! You'll love it!" Naruto's enthusiasm made Sakura smile. He was always so cheerful.
The only one missing for dinner that night was Kabuto, who was working in the kitchen. Which was well and good since he refused to eat processed food. Becoming a chef had made him much more health conscious about what he put in his stomach. However, everyone else didn't care and, in fact, they loved the ramen recipes. It turned out that the man who couldn't hard boil an egg to save his life was a genius at cooking ramen.
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After dinner Naruto gave Sakura a letter that had arrived from Ino. Sakura was overjoyed to hear from her friend. In the letter Ino thanked her for the swim suits and went on to describe Ten Ten's and Hinata's embarrassment at having to wear them to a "beach" party Ino threw at the lake. Sakura laughed at that. Ten Ten was never girly and Hinata was very shy. She wished she could have seen it. On the other hand, Rock Lee had lost a bet with Shino and was forced to also don a bikini. Sakura was very glad she didn't have to see that…
"Oh, something fell out from between the pages." Sakura picked up the small paper and screamed.
"What is it!" Naruto ran over to the dining table where Sakura was still sitting, eyes wide open and gasping for air. Everyone else looked up from where they were.
Sakura handed the paper to Naruto who slammed it on the table and yelled, "You could have just told me about it! You didn't have to show me!"
Sasuke, Sai and Itachi wandered over. "What?" Sasuke asked, smiling. He enjoyed seeing Naruto in pain. Naruto held up the picture for all three guys to see. Sasuke and Itachi closed their eyes in pain and Sai covered his mouth, looking for the world like he was about to throw up.
Kakashi looked at the picture and sighed, closing his eyes. "I never thought I'd see the day that someone out-did Gai in stupidity. But today is that day."
Deidara and Kisame looked at the picture and laughed. "Hey, let's send this picture to the bingo book people." Kisame suggested.
Naruto gave an evil laugh. "Yeah. Let's."
Smiling up from the small sheet of paper was Rock Lee in a woman's two piece swim suit, standing in the "good guy" pose. His teeth even "pinged".
Kankuro and Temari kept their mouths shut. They personally thought that Rock Lee and Mite Gai should have been straight-jacketed and locked up years ago. This just proved it.
"Let's send this to Gaara." Kankuro laughed, he couldn't stay quiet for long.
"Yeah." Temari had a vision of the otherwise stoic Gaara loosing his composure at the daring of one his best friends. It would be priceless.
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Meanwhile, back at Konoha…
"Ah choo!"
"Lee! You have caught a cold!" Gai dramatically stretched his hand out in accusation at the young man wiping his nose.
"Yes Gai Sensai! I must now eat 100 cans of chicken soup! I am off to grocery to make the purchase!"
"And I will eat 200 to make sure your germs did not fall on me!" Gai gallantly declared.
The two men ran off into the sunset as great waves broke over cliffs, washing out the grocery store. The manager made them spend the next forty-eight hours cleaning everything up and then banned them from ever entering the premises again.
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"So you think Lady Suzu is trying to decimate the economies of the hidden villages by getting people addicted to porn?" Naruto broke down laughing. Kakashi was dead serious and very concerned. That made Naruto laugh even harder.
Sasuke frowned and shook his head. "Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds, Kakashi?"
"I…Now that you mention it. It does sound rather absurd." Kakashi rubbed his face with his hands. "But I am right about this."
"Okay." Sasuke nudged the laughing Naruto in the side, trying to get his to be quiet. "Thirty percent is a huge drop in missions. I'll admit that it can easily bankrupt the smaller nations. But I know what the economy of Konoha is and it wont hurt us or the other four big villages. What would she gain by destroying the smaller villages?"
"That is what we have to find out." Kakashi sighed. "On the surface we can say that it would give the big five shinobi villages more business. However, it would also create a lot of unemployed ninja, who would no doubt be roaming around looking for work and trouble. Not necessarily in that order."
"Which would give Konoha even more work as they took missions to stop unemployed troublesome ninjas." Sakura looked up at Kakashi. "Does she have some kind of link to Sand that we don't know about? Or any of the other villages? Could she be trying to increase profits for some reason?"
"Good point. Let's start with that. Find out Lady Suzu's financial situation as well as her fiscal goals. Also, let's get Temari to ask Gaara to come for a short visit. We need to talk."
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"Let me get this straight. You want me to submit this… 'photo' to the bingo book?" The owner of the photography shop in the hotel lobby had been busy all day snapping revealing pictures of ninja and kunoichi and was no longer in a good mood. It was 9pm. He wanted to go to bed. However, just as he pulled down the covers and fluffed his pillow his fellow "inmates" of the hotel's "rehabilitation" program had come knocking on his door.
"Yes." Kisame laughed.
"Why? Don't you think he'll get pissed off with you?" The man rubbed his forehead. He was getting a migraine. He was sure of it.
"That's the idea." Deidara laughed as well.
"What about you two?"
"Oh, we're just here to see if Kisame and Deidara were serious or not." Kabuto smirked. Itachi was standing next to him and smiling. Neither of them believed the photo could be submitted, but there was nothing else to do tonight so they decided to tag along.
The man raised his arms in surrender. "Okay. I'll submit it, but don't get your hopes up."
"Thanks. Can you make a copy of that before you send it off? We need the original for something." Kisame smiled. His sharp teeth were menacing and made the photographer shudder. Life was never this odd when he was a counterfeiter. Photographing artwork and jewelry for knockoffs was simple work. He wished he was in a nice comfy jail cell. How much happier he would be.
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For reviews –
Kakashi is naked except for a pair of low-cut tight briefs. The music picks up to a techno beat and he dances, clearly having a lot of fun. Sweat glistens as it drips down his perfectly formed abs. Grabbing towel he wipes his chest slowly and seductively, then throws it into the audience. They go wild, snatching for the towel. It no time it is ripped into a hundred pieces. Kakashi's strong, muscular legs flex as he shifts from one leg to the other. He loops his thumbs around his briefs and slowly begins to slide them down….SCREEECH!
"What's going on here!" The audience is shocked into silence as two very pale twenty-something men walk onto the stage. "This story is rated 'T'. As the moderators we cannot allow you to do any further."
A voice comes over the PA system. "Kakashi has a contract. He has to pull those briefs down! Readers have been waiting for it!"
"Too bad! Or do you want to be banned?" The moderators laugh evilly then disappear into thin air. They obviously spend too much time on the site if they know how to do that!
"Well, what now?" Kakashi says, pissed off.
"You signed the contract." The voice says, smirking.
"Okay! Private showing! I'll pull my briefs down but in one of the private rooms – but only if you review." Kakashi gives the "good guy" pose and the audience queues up for their turn.
The reviewers who leave the room are all smiling great big smiles.