Hermione sighed at the sight of Rowle with sludge green hair. Little incidents like this had been happening quite often since the Quidditch match and it was sure to cause serious trouble if it didn't stop soon.
Hermione slipped into the only stop left, between Portia and Sirius. While she loved Portia and was relatively fond of Sirius when he wasn't turning her notes into paper ducks, it wasn't a place she felt entirely comfortable, similar to sitting between Fred and George, you just knew something was going to go wrong.
A small explosion sounded at the Slytherin table and Hermione turned on Portia with a glare. "Alright you've had your fun, enough is enough, this stops now Portia." She whispered furiously.
Portia looked between her and Rowle stunned. "I know what you're thinking, and I know what it looks like, but that was not me."
Hermione shook her head disappointed. "I can't believe you'd just lie to me like that. The proof is right there, that is identical to the one you pulled on Sirius."
"That was you?!" Sirius piped up gobsmacked.
"Oh. Sirius reverse engineered your spell." Hermione said flatly.
"Gee, do you think?" Portia drawled, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she slowly got up from the seat. "Now Black, see reason. That was months ago, surely you've gotten over it?" Portia gave a small smile as she backed away from Sirius who was advancing on her with a rather disconcerting grin.
"I was a rainbow for almost a month." He deadpanned with a soft growl.
"It looked good on you?" She offered weakly before bolting, Sirius following close behind.
"Harmen did that?" James asked perplexed. "He's been blaming me for months."
"We know," Peter snickered, "she thought it was hilarious."
"Wait you knew?" Remus and James echoed.
"Yea, remember when Sirius stirred up the Erklings? Well, they ruined her boots." He shrugged.
Hermione looked at Lily. "You may want to warn the Professors. I can see this turning ugly."
Remus snickered. "More like all out warfare," spotting the looks he received from Lily and Hermione he cleared his throat, "which is, of course, a horrible, bad, dangerous thing."
"Nice cover Remus." James laughed.
"Shut up James, if you aren't careful Lily will drop you faster than a hot potato," Remus muttered.
James gave an adoring look to Lily and winked. "Nah, I've got her now. She's stuck with me." He chuckled.
Hermione shared a look with Lily and they sighed.
Nearing the end of lunch, someone cleared their throat behind her. Turning around Hermione's eyes locked onto another set of brown orbs smiling at her. The owner of said brown orbs flicked the sandy blonde hair from them and grinned at her. "Hello. I'm Barty, I was wondering if I could be so honoured as to accompany you to Hogsmeade this weekend."
"Oh! I… Uh…" Hermione gnawed on her lips nervously, she could feel Remus' gaze burning into her back.
What are you waiting for? Say yes!
But, I wanted…
Remus isn't going to ask you, remember what you told Ginny?
Not to wait around. But this is different!
No, it's not. Just say yes.
A shoe collided with her shin and she winced, catching Lily's pointed look as she rubbed her shin.
"I uh, I'd love to Barty." She smiled a little hesitantly.
"Oh good. I'll meet you at the doors at eight then?" At her nod, she watched him walk away.
"Hermione and Barty sitting in the tree…" Lily sang teasingly as Remus left the hall quickly.
Hermione rolled her eyes and half-heartedly tossed a bread roll at Lily, but something was definitely bothering her about him.
"How much do you know about Barty?" She addressed to the table in general.
James was the one to answer. "Bartemius Crouch Jr. He's in the year below us in Ravenclaw and prefers to be called Barty. Not a bad bloke but he's got a chip on his shoulder about his dad." At the questioning looks, he clarified. "His Father works at the ministry with mine, we've been forced to socialise a few times."
Oh, bother.
Hermione was rushing through the castle searching for Portia. Checking the last broom closet, she slammed it shut in frustration. "Where in the name of Godric is she?!"
A second later the closet door came open and she was yanked in. Looking around she immediately noticed that this was not the space she had slammed the door on not five seconds before. The room was relatively big, with an empty desk in one corner and Portia occupying a hammock hanging in the other.
"You altered the castle?!" Hermione boggled.
"Technically, no, it was already here, you just need to know how to get to it and besides you didn't seem to mind when you found your balcony," Portia commented.
"You did that? You know what, never mind, I have bigger problems." Hermione sighed rubbing her eyes. "I was just asked on a date to Hogsmeade."
"So? It's not like Remus has gotten over his self-pity long enough to ask you out yet."
"Don't talk about him like that," Hermione snapped, taking a breath she continued, "you are my cousin, you're supposed to help me."
"Okay, One, I was born in 1214. Hello, arranged marriages! Two, I haven't been on a date in at least four hundred years. I'm fairly sure the rules of dating have changed since then. Thirdly and finally, if you wanted my help, then you should have thought of that before you blabbed about my jinx. If you'd had just a little faith in me then I wouldn't have Black running around the castle trying to curse me." Portia looked at her pointedly.
"You flipped her off in front of the entire school, how was I supposed to know it wasn't you?"
"Exactly, I got away with it and won the game, I was more than happy."
"Argh! This is beside the point, I need your help! I was asked out by Barty Crouch Jr! Future Death Eater? Is this ringing any bells?"
Portia tilted her head up and looked at her with a grin. "Perfect! While you're being wined and dined, work out if he's a daddy hating psychopath yet, would you? Maybe we'll catch a break and be able to stop him going to the dark side of the force."
"That joke was so inappropriate I don't even know where to begin." Hermione sighed exasperatedly.
"Well it's no fun now you've pointed it out." She frowned, eyes closed and laying back.
Hermione huffed irritated and headed towards the door, just before she slipping out she flicked her wand at the hammock causing it to spin and dump Portia unceremoniously on the floor. She closed the door happily on a rather inventive string of profanities.
Determined to get the goblins at Gringotts to release a cottage from the property portfolio in time for them to occupy it at Christmas, Portia trudged up the frozen staircase to the Owlery.
Reaching the top a shriek sounded and a flying torpedo of parchment flew at her, neatly dodging it her eyes darted to the steaming angry red head storming around and freaking the birds out.
"Uh, you okay Lil's?" Portia asked carefully.
"No! I am most certainly not alright! My utter cow of a sister ask asked me to forgo my own family Christmas traditions because and I quote 'I would hate for your freakish qualities to scare my future husband away.'" Lily shrieked stomping her foot, a tear slowly rolling down her cheek.
Portia blinked, given her track record, emotional family issues were not her forte, give her a war any day. "Well… Unless your Mother is as foolish as your sister then I doubt she even knows of the letter, why not write and tell her?"
Portia watched curiously as Lily deflated and slumped down onto a seat. "No, if I force my presence on Petunia, my sister," she clarified, "she'll hate me, and as horrible as she is at the moment, we used to be really close and…"
"She's your sister and you love her." Portia nodded understanding.
"Exactly. No, I'll just write mum and tell her that I'd like to stay at Hogwarts because it's my last year." Lily sighed.
"Or you could tell her that two sad little orphans asked you to stay at theirs to help fill the void." Portia gave her a small smile.
Lily looked up her horrified. "Oh, Merlin! Here I am complaining about family and you…"
"Lily! Stop! It's fine honestly. I'm fine, but I am a little worried for Hermione, I mean I lost my Mother years ago, but Hermione had her mum and step dad there for most of her life. If you came it would help ease my worries, I'm not so good with this… crying stuff." She shrugged awkwardly.
"I'd love to, but are you sure?"
"Course, I know you and I don't talk all that much, but you're a part of the family. That means loyalty, love, a place to crash when your sisters a butt and most importantly, awkward Christmas' with the Potter family, which you will have to suffer through with us, should you decide to stay. Oh and the New Year's Ball they hold." Portia grinned.
Lily hesitated, biting her lip.
"I'll take that as a yes. Now go write a letter to your Mother, I won't grant you asylum until you have permission, no matter how hard you beg!" Portia ended with a dramatic flourish.
Lily smiled fondly. "You really are something else."
Just as Lily got the steps, Portia's hair tie broke and her hair came tumbling down around her shoulders, picking a lock up and looking at it, she blinked. "Hey, Lil's!"
Lily looked back expectantly. "How long has my hair been purple?"
Lily blinked. "A few days now, you didn't know?"
A slow grin crept onto Portia's face. "I don't really look at it, I just kind of tie it up and move on with my day. Looks like I hadn't dodged Black at all. Interesting."
Lily smiled strangely. "I think it was an understatement when I said you were something else." Lily rolled her eyes fondly when Portia winked at her and continued her way down leaving Portia to her musings.
Barty looked at her defeated. "Well… That was an utter disaster. Friends?" He asked holding a hand out hopefully.
Hermione almost sighed with relief. "Friends." She nodded happily, shaking his hand.
"I really am sorry about that hot toffee." He winced.
"It's fine, really, it'll heal." She strained a smile as she started toward the common room.
Finally climbing through the portrait Hermione collapsed beside Lily on the sofa, luckily the common room was almost deserted, unluckily the almost included Portia.
"That good huh?"
"First he tripped and pushed me into the carriage, then he insisted on holding my hand and his hands were freezing, then he took me into look at the new stationary Tomes and Scrolls got in and accidently stabbed my hand with a quill, then spilled my Butterbeer all over the table at The Three Broomsticks, and lastly choked and spat a hot toffee lolly at me." Hermione sighed exasperatedly.
"That explains the red mark on your neck, that's an unfortunate position." Lily grimaced.
Portia grinned, "It looks like a hickey."
Remus hated today. He'd rushed through Hogsmeade, gathering the things he needed, never taking his eyes from the ground, just in case he came across them.
He knew he couldn't rightfully be annoyed with her, she wasn't his girlfriend, he'd never even asked her for a drink at the Three Broomsticks let alone for a whole day with her in Hogsmeade. Argh, what was wrong with him?
Climbing through the portrait he could hear Portia's voice.
"It looks like a hickey." She said grinning.
His eyes shot to Hermione and then to the red mark on her neck. Gritting his teeth he turned around and walked right back out the portrait.
"Well. that was horrible timing even for me." Portia grimaced. "All quips and witticism aside, I am genuinely sorry for that."
Hermione sighed and gave a gesture not to worry about it before climbing the girls' staircase and retiring to bed early.