Severus

"Severus?" Hermione said, tugging at my hand.

"Hmm?" I asked, my eyes still following the fish in the aquarium.

"There are other fish to see here, you know that right?" She said, poking my side with her free hand.

I turned to look at her with a smile and squeezed her fingers slightly. "Is that you saying you would like to move on?"

Hermione only winked. With a light laugh we moved forward. The Saturday we were spending together had been remarkable. We had once again decided to tour the town she was in. However, it was colder than the last time we had done this, so we were bundled up more tightly. Hermione's hand in mine was keeping my blood pumping, though, and I was rather warm.

"Hermione?" I asked, my voice dry in the cold air. She turned a smile my way and continued to examine the different fish. "Do you think you'll be leaving for Christmas?" How I wished she wouldn't go.

Hermione shrugged. "That all depends."

"On what?" goodness, did that sound desperate?

Her lips turned up slightly at the corners. "On you." Her eyes turned towards me and we came to a stop.

"Oh." I said quietly. There was a crowd moving around us, but my heart was pounding so loudly I couldn't hear them and Hermione filled my mind so completely it was as if they weren't there at all. "I was actually wondering," Embarrassingly, I cleared my throat. "If you would come to the castle with me on Christmas. There will be barely any students there and we need not tour the castle. I would just like so much to see you there again." My face was red and it wasn't completely from the cold.

Hermione's eyes rested on me for a few moments, thinking, and I waited eagerly for her response. Slowly her head began to nod. "That sounds like a lovely idea to me." A small smile formed on her face and I let out the breath I had been holding. I smiled back.

"Have you heard from your friends, lately?" I asked, beginning our slow walk again.

She nodded. "We've shared several letters over the past few weeks. Things are going well. They're all working like crazy so that they can relax over Christmas and spend exuberant amounts of money on Christmas gifts." She laughed lightly. "They never change."

I shook my head in agreement. "They do seem very much the same."

Hermione smiled and nodded. "Yes." She quickly turned to me, her eyes wide. "You've never told me about your family! Why aren't you going to be with them?"

I took a deep breath and shrugged. "There's not much to tell. I have a father and a mother, no siblings and not that much love was afforded me as I grew." I shrugged again which occurred to me as a childish thing to do. "I have not spoken to them in years."

"Maybe you should." She said. "Maybe they're missing you."

I looked towards Hermione, in complete amazement. "How is it that you always see the world with hope?"

Hermione's lips twitched. "It's not easy, I'll tell you that much. Somebody has to do it, though, and I'd rather have a positive outlook on the world."

"But you know so much negative." I stated.

Hermione sighed. "I know. Yet I like to think that good will always overcome evil. That's been my entire life, so how can I disbelieve it?"

I nodded with a slight smile. "You amaze me, Hermione Granger."

She only smiled.

Hermione

The past few weeks had been perfect. There had been embarrassment and confessions of all sorts but there had been laughter and I had been filled with hope that maybe my future would be better.

This note destroyed all hope I had.

Miss Granger,
It has come to my attention that we are forming the most inappropriate relationship. I thank you for the conversation and the respite, yet I must call this relationship to a close.
I wish you luck in all your future endeavors.
Severus Snape

He had destroyed it all.

I had never experienced this kind of grief and pain before. My heart felt heavy and empty and I felt sick to my stomach. The tears never seemed to stop and my hair was an absolute mess. My life was a mess. Any hope I had for a better future had been killed in forty-five words. My throat was scratchy and irritated due the screams of pain that often erupted out of me.

I had gone and fallen in love with him. Barely a month I had spent with him, yet I loved him more than I had ever loved Ronald. He had made me feel loved as well, without ever even touching me any other way than holding my hand.

The note that had arrived on Sunday night sat on the desk beside my bed, reminding me of the horrors and the joy that I had felt with him. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it. I had closed the heavy blinds and turned off the lights. The remote was on the other side of the room and I couldn't get out of bed to retrieve it. When hunger would strike at me, I would order food and only get out of bed to retrieve it.

Memories of the last weeks haunted my restless sleep. Joy caressed me as I remembered the laughter we shared. Shame shook me as I thought of how foolish I was, striving for the impossible relationship I wanted. Regret filled me because I hadn't explained why I couldn't go back to Hogwarts the first time he asked. I needed to get away, and I didn't - couldn't - see the students. The only thing I needed was Severus Snape.

I didn't know how much time had passed and I didn't want to know. I knew Christmas was approaching, though, and the date we had planned only burned at my eyes and brought tears back rushing.