Chapter Ten
The small restaurant was more like a ramen bar than anything else. Minimal decorations, the chairs were stools sitting in front of a bar where the chefs made the meals and even the chef was unruly looking, no wonder why this restaurant is so inexpensive. The smells of simple meals wafted up to the seat I tried to relax in. And even in the relaxed calmness of all of this, I couldn't help but be worried. After all, even though I may have seemed calm on the outside, my mind was like a huge storm crashing about. This is my first time in a regular town since becoming an Akatsuki member and all I can think about is how nobody knows. My eyes flicker onto the mans face, checking to make sure that when he looks at us, there is no worry in his work worn eyes.
Sasori was relaxed and calm sitting next to me perched in his chair thumping his fingers against the smooth countertop with a bored expression playing on his features. He does this so often, going to town when he's so easily able to get arrested, that it doesn't faze him anymore. I again, find myself envying his careless mood, how did he get that way? What did he have to go through to care so little? I play with the thin straw that sits in my cup and watch as the water swirls around it slowly, like a small whorl pool.
Sighing, I stair into the kitchen as the one chef on duty rushes about. Sasori's water remains untouched sitting in front of him and he wouldn't order anything. I feel a pang of worry go off, but I ignore it. Remember who he is Sakura. I push away any thoughts of Sasori the only way I know how to; by torturing myself by thinking of Itachi's last moments. The memories burst in like a thousand waves and in m mind, I see his dull, piercing eyes and can hear his hand as it falls against his chest lifelessly. Glancing down at my ring, I feel a hot tear try to slip, but I try to hold it back and breathe in deeply, almost in a sob. Quickly, I make sure no one notices.
Sasori glances over at me, and then looks down at his hand as he continues to tap away. Embarrassed of my cruel emotions, I begin to get up to leave for the bathroom. Quietly, I walk to the back of the small restaurant, leaving my pack in the chair next to Sasori. Slowly, I push aside the fabric that concealed a toilet, sink, and mirror area. The smell wasn't as bad as I expected, but still, I should have picked a better restaurant. I stand in front of the large mirror, hardly recognizing myself.
My face was tanned from being in the sun so much, and my hair is lighter than I'm used to. Brushing away some of it, I look into my eyes and stair in shock. What happened? My once bright green, spirited eyes now lay dull and hateful in my face. I look away, scornful. I should get used to it. I slowly put my sight back on the mirror, and stair at my face. I can tell I've cried. I run some hot water and splash my face, trying to make the sadness not so apparent. Wake up Sakura! What is my problem?! I say, 'to kill Sasuke, that is my goal', yet I have done nothing to prove it! I had the perfect chance to kill him, but I let him slip away, and now I've sold my life to the Akatsuki. Everything I've done is just getting in the way! I dab my face dry and see color flush my face from the realization of my holding back. Don't I want to kill him? Don't I want for him to wish that he had never even heard of the Akatsuki? My mind riddles with questions, but I don't find this to be a reasonable time to figure them all out.
Slowly, I leave the bathroom, making sure my face was completely dry. Returning to where I was sitting, a bento box sits on the bar ahead of me and I sit in front of it, not really wanting to open it, but knowing that I have to eat. Slowly, I open it, retrieving my chopsticks, but no longer having an appetite. I've been wasting my time here. If I want to achieve my goal, I have to do so before my emotions have time to get in the way and ruin this! And before I can even do that- I have to complete this mission, which, at this pace of time, is going to take forever. Quickly I set down the chopsticks and place some money on the counter I had set aside, putting the lid on the meal; I leave it on the bar. Nodding to Sasori, I begin to leave towards the door.
"Sakura, you need to eat, you have to have energy for the rest of our travel and for our mission," Sasori says, not stating clearly what our mission was in case of anyone being close enough to understand. I shake my head like a stubborn child, my eyes tightly closed, pushing the tears as far back as possible; I will not cry.
"I have no appetite, besides, we have to star traveling now," I say, trying to convince him to let me get off without eating and without questioning. He looks at me with a thoughtful look in his eyes for a moment, then nods and begins to follow me.
"Hey, young man," the chef says, walking over to the counter and looking at Sasori. "You aren't really going to let your young lady friend have to pay for her own meal, will you?" he asks, shaking his head like he couldn't believe it. Sasori's facial expression remains blank and I stair at him curiously. What does he say to that? Although, I must admit to the strangeness of him calling me Sasori's "lady friend". Sasori nods to the request and steps towards the counter, pulling out some money and setting it on the smooth, flat surface. Picking up the money I had left, he walks over and hands it to me.
"I'm sorry for being disrespectful," he lies to me, to keep the chef happy. I nod.
"I forgive you, and thank you chef," I say, forcing a smile on my face. Sasori and I turn and he holds the door for me to exit. As soon as we are out of sight of the restaurant, I hold out the money to Sasori. "Here, sorry about the trouble," I say, not sure if I was lying or not. Sasori shakes his head.
"Its fine, keep the money, you can spend it on your supplies," he turns and begins to walk again. I look down at the money, now feeling guilty for not even eating a bite of the bento meal. Walking along the street, I gaze into the windows of stores, not sure what I was looking for, but knowing that I needed to find it quickly, so that we can leave. Touching my kunai holder that is concealed under my skirt, I realize that I should find a weaponry shop. I can't risk running out when I only need one more. I reach to my back to see how much money I have for this then realize- I left my pack at the restaurant!