Meyer owns Twilight, I'm just playing with it. I'll put it back when I'm done. Promise :)
Song for chapter: "Imaginary" by Evanescence
-The Dare-
Chapter Ten
"I want you to do me." Bella was sitting on her bed in her PJ's. They were purple, grey and black and had tiny skulls and roses on them. They were her favorite set but it still made her feel like she was meeting the Queen of England in sweats or something.
"I beg your pardon?" Edward was pretty sure vampires couldn't actually have strokes, but hearing Bella say,in her bed no less, that she wanted him to 'do her' was sending his body into a tailspin. His mind raced with possibilities.
"The dreamwalking. I want you to .. do that to me." She looked down at her white bedding thinking about how weird it was to have him here- In her bedroom while her father was asleep in his bedroom. Ballsy move, too. Charlie was the kind of man to shoot first and ask the questions later. If he ever found out Edward, the boy he had yet to meet, was with Bella in her bedroom, at night, all alone, he would shoot Edward faster than you could blink.
"Little human, you don't want that. It would mean I would have access to all your private thoughts. Whatever was in your subconscious, I too would see." Edward was layed out on Bella's bedroom floor with a pillow under his head. Her ceiling had stars on it and he was transfixed on those tiny plastic stickers. Bella had blushed a bright red when he pointed them out. She said they were done when she was 13 and that she just hadn't bothered to take them down yet. Edward didn't see a reason to. They were relaxing, soothing to look up and see the tiny greenish blue glow up above.
Laying back down, Bella let her heart take a leap of faith her head never could. "I want you to know." Not even a heartbeat later she felt the bed dip down next to her and felt the rush of wind from his fast movement. She looked over into a very handsome face. The light from her bathroom cast shadows upon him making the lines of his cheekbones, brows and eyes stand out even more. His face was perfection and it wasn't blind love making her think that or teenage hormones. Edward was the kind of handsome that hurt to look at. He walked the fine line at being too beautiful. His scent wafted over and filled Bella's head with silly thoughts. Like how she could just lean over across the ocean of pillows between them and kiss him. She could start this, whatever it was with them, because dear God things needed to start soon. Very soon before she blew up taking the neighborhood with her as her emotions overwhelmed her. And surely his daughter blowing up would wake Charlie.
"You want me to know what, Bella?" His whisper seemed so erotic. His scent was sinful and she felt like she was going to pass out. His eyes roamed her face searching for the truth. He seemed almost .. hopeful.
Blowing the bangs out of her eyes, Bella said, "I want you to know what I think inside. The personal things. The things I can't say, but I can show you. I want to feel what it's like to have you there." Because you're already in my heart, she thought.
God, what Edward wouldn't give to hold her and kiss her right now. That was a bad idea on so many levels, not just because they were lying in her bed alone while the darkness covered them. Here alone in the night they could do anything with one another and no one would know and no one would stop them. He could so easily reach over and feel her skin. So easy. It was a bad idea to get inside her mind, but Jesus an ever worse one to be inside of her. And he wanted to do both. Badly. He went with the safer one of the two desires.. Only he didn't know that both pathes would lead to the same road.
"Okay little human. But if at any point you're not feeling it, tell me to leave and I will."
"How can I do that?" He wanted to smooth the frown from her forehead.
"We will be talking just like we are now. So if you feel like it's too much, I will go. Easy as that. Close your eyes."
Bella closed her eyes all the while fully trusting Edward as he lead her into a world she knew nothing about: just as he had since the first time they met.
Quietly he said, "Relax. Let your body feel the smooth cotton under you, the warm sheets against your legs. Feel the soft feathers under your head and melt into the bed." His voice was always soothing and calming, but more so now. He was her guide as she fell into a deep sleep. "Let yourself drift off and I will meet you there my sweet.." Bella fell into that deep sleep before she could hear the rest of what he said.
Bella had never been in such a place. The beauty before her struck a cord of longing and awe within her heart. At first sight of this place she thought she was in heaven. Never had she dreamed up something like this. She stood in a round meadow full of wild flowers of every color and even some colors she didn't have names for. The smell from the botanical wonder around her was so sweet, so filling. A purple and blue butterfly floated by her face and made Bella laugh as she could feel the wind made by its tiny wings. This was the kind of place shadows never dwelled. There was no such thing as pain or loss here. Fear could never be found within this world. It gave her a feeling of peace of mind and joy in her body. The very air she breathed was a medicine to her soul. The meadow was a perfect circle true, but in the center there was a garden with waterfalls, stone statues of glorious greek gods and goddesses who looked to the sky. Bella looked up as well and there was what all the wonder was about: The stars were out in all their beauty, but so was the sun. It was as if they shared the sky and showed off for each other. It was neither dark nor light. Something inbetween, and it was lovely. There were stone benches to sit at and even more flowers while butterflies fluttered around. She could hear the rushing of the waterfalls. Feel the sweet breeze on her face
Magical.
"I hope I didn't go overboard with all the sweet and pretty. I just thought maybe your inner five year old girl would like a place fit for a Princess."
Bella turned to see Edward standing there beside the small pond full of fish of all colors. He was dressed in white silk pants. The shirt he wore was also white and it was a button down made of the same silk. She looked down to see what she had on: white silk sundress. It had tiny crystals around the hem and a dark blue ribbon at the waist. Both of them were barefoot. Her bright green nail polish seemed dull in the dream's world.
"I feel like I'm in a fairytale." She laughed and it caused more butterflies to come as if drawn by happiness.
"So you approve?" He asked while sitting down.
"Yes, I do. I mean, it kind of makes me feel as though I were inside a puff of cotton candy with all the sweetness, but for some reason it feels like it's exactly what I need." She looked around taking it all in; breathing it in and letting in consume her. "How do you do that? You just always seem to know what to say or do to help me in ways no one else ever has." Bella sat down beside Edward.
"Well, now that you're here and I'm here you can make this place anything you want it to be. After all it is your mind we're in. I must say I'm shocked there are no cobwebs!" He laughed and dodged the smack Bella tried to lay upon his arm.
"You know my dreams as of late have been.. dark." Her voice was nothing but a whisper on the wind.
"What are they about? What about them are dark?" Edward took hold of Bella's hand- the tempature was like everything else in this cocoon of perfection he created for her, just right.
"I dream the wolf comes, but before that it's as if a shadow passes over my dreams. Like a forwarning of his coming. I .. ." Bella was worried to say any more.
"What?"
"I was afraid. I'm still afraid." She spoke the words as if she were shocked to hear them coming out of her own mouth. "Even now, here with you, I worry talking about it will bring it forth. Like if I speak about my fears, not just about the wolf, but life as a whole, I give it power over me. Edward, I've never been truly afraid not even as a little girl when my mother died. I became the strength my father lost. I became this wild child because I wanted to feel every inch of life that I could. I wanted to show death that he couldn't touch Bella Swan. I wanted to tell him to piss off and that I was the master of my own fate. And I thought if I did all those things, the dares, the tests, that I would be doing it for my mother. Some kind of screwed up, misplaced way to honor her memory. Even more messed up.. I thought if I gave Dad something else to focus on-other than being without my Mom- it would be for the better." I single tear fell from her eye. Bella watched as Edward captured it on his finger tip and looked on as it turned purple and became a butterfly.
"Bella, look at me." His voice was so sweet and soft, but she couldn't. "Please."
Her eyes met his, "Show me what your world is like, okay? Let's just not worry about anything: no wolves, no losses, no bad things. Just you and me. Here. Can we do that? Can you show me you, Bella? Please drop your shield and let me in. I will keep you and your heart safe." He said it with the tone of truth. They both knew he would hold her heart, her world in his arms and keep them safe.
{}
Edward watched the little girl with big brown eyes and freckles on her tiny nose run, laugh and play in the large back yard. Her father chased her until she leapt up onto the yellow and white gingham blanket that her mother lay upon. Renee looked like an older verson of Bella: Beauitful and full of happiness. She held much love in her blue eyes. As Bella ran into her mother's waitng arms, her father pretened to fall down of exhaustion, which he was sure wasn't too far off the mark thanks to the very hyper girl. Looking over he watched Bella stand beside him with a sad smile on her face as she too watched a ghost of memories from a lifetime gone forever play out.
"How old were you here?" He spoke gentle as if to not disturb the happy family.
His question seem to catch her off gaurd. "Oh. Well, I was almost four, I believe. Yes, I was just about to turn four." They said no more as little Bella started to ask questions. The kind of questions that most children ask, but Bella proved most precocious with hers.
"Daddy, you're a boy, right?" She looked up into her father's face with such trust and innocent faith that anything Chief told her she would believe- even if he said the sky was green and the grass blue, Bella would have believed her father even when her own eyes could cleary see the truth and tell her different.
"Yes, Bells. I'm a boy or I was a boy. Now I'm a man."
Frowning, she turned to her Mother "And you wased a girl right Mommy? Now you're a lady!"
"Yes, my sweet Isabella. I am and someday you will be one, too." Renee Swan's voice was enchanting. It held a tune of ease. It was the voice of a loving mother. It reminded Edward of his own Mom, Elizabeth.
"Jake says boys don't like girls because they got cooties. But I told Jacob Black he was wrong because Daddy's a boy and he married you Mommy and you're a girl." Leaning over to whisper in her mother's ear, though it carried louder than if she had just spoke it normally, Bella said, "And I know my Mommy don't gots cooties. So that means Jacob Black is a big stupid head!" And then Bella giggled.
Charlie Swan tried not to laugh. He really did and he held it together for as long as he could. But then he joined in with his daughter's joy because Jacob Black was in fact a stupid head.
"Charles Swan, do not laugh at this! Isabella Marie, is that any way to treat your best friend? By calling him names?" Her tone was firm but Renee's face was full of love.
"No Mommy. I'm sayting a fact. Daddy said so!"
"You mean 'Stating' a fact, Isabella. And when did Daddy say so?" Now he was really in trouble it seemed.
"Renee, sweetheart I merely pointed out to our wonderful, smart daughter that boys like Jake were all stupid heads. As in a fact. That I would be stating."
{}
Bella stopped the memory there. "Dad just didn't like any boys around his babygirl. He was always so protective."
"So this is what I have to look forward to? Is that what you're telling me? I'll make sure to eat my wheaties that day."
"You're a vampire, Edward." Bella looked a million miles away as memories flashed by in front of them.
"Okay, I'll eat someone who has eaten their Wheaties. Better?" They shared a laugh but it felt hallow. He wanted her to feel happiness, not sadness. "Show me something that brings you joy."
As soon as he spoke it, a flash of Renee and Charlie kissing while opening presents on a early Christmas morning came upon them. Bella was missing her two front teeth and she was sitting in the middle of a pile of wrapping paper and boxes- toys strewed across the living room. "It looks as though a toy store blew up!" Edward laughed.
"They were so happy here. Dad had gotten Mom an emerald neckless. Her favorite color, and she was filled with such love that day. She was like our lighthouse- guided us, kept us safe from a cold, harsh sea. That morning even amidst the toy frenzy, I saw their love and I thrived on it."
Edward touched Bella's hand. "Now show me something that is just for you." An image of Bella writing popped up and she was adding images on paper next to words she had written as if it were cover art.
"You are truly something amazing Bella Swan." It was hard to drop her guard and allow him into this part of her world. Her writing, her art was precious to her.
"My mom used to write all the time when I was little. While other children were being told the same old fairytales over and over that parents had used for hundreds of years, my Mother wrote her own and allowed me to add in what I wanted. I loved every part of it." Bella sighed.
"She sounds like she was as an amazing person as her daughter is."
"She was the most caring, selfless person I ever had the honor of knowing and I miss her every second."
Whispering, Edward said, "I know that feeling well. Very, very well." This caused Bella to look at him. He really did understand. Because even though he had Esme, he still had lost his birth Mother. She watched as he walked over to the meadow and sat down in the center of it. Following his lead, she sat next to him.
"Now Isabella Swan, show me something you want. Show me your hearts true desire." He looked playful. Probably thinking She as a New York Times best seller would come or fame and riches would pop up in the form of Bella being a movie star. Neither happened.
An image of Edward and Bella wrapped in each other's arms came into focus. They were lying in bed together, naked. Kissing passionatly as a fire burned in a hearth. Though the fire between them out-burned the fire that ate away at the wood logs. As the scene grew in intensity, Edward felt his blood rush and pool in between his hips. He never thought Bella would desire him the way he wanted her. Trying to gain back some of his blood to get his brain working again, Edward looked away from the scene playing all round them.
"That kind of came out of nowhere. I- it's just I think about it. That. I mean, us. I think about us.. doing. Oh, shit. You saw what I thought.." Bella put her face in her hands. She wanted to hide forever. "Maybe we should stop-" Before she could say another word he was infront of her on his knees pulling her hands from her face.
"Bella." His stare was so intense. He looked at her as if he would never see her again. Bella really didn't like the look in his green eyes.
"What? Just say it, Edward. Whatever is on your mind. Please, please just say it."
"God, I'm losing it. You shouldn't want me little human. I am the last person you should want." He shook his head in disgust, not at her, but at himself. He shouldn't allow things to get so.. close between them. He wasn't the right man for her.
"It's not a choice. Wanting you, needing you. Sometimes you don't get to pick."
"Oh yeah? So who does then Bella? You tell me who the hell decides who or what we want?" He was frustrated and tired.
"Our hearts." Her voice was small and damn near broke his heart.
"Damn it! Don't you do that. Bella, I mean it don't you fucking do that little human!" His voice raised a bit louder.
"Don't do what? Care about you? Want you?"
"YES! Don't you do that shit!" He couldn't let her care about him. He was a vampire- what the fuck did he have to offer her? Lifetimes over of watching the world fade away and rot? Out-living every single person and thing she loved about the world?
Getting up on her knees as well so they were practically nose to nose, Bella said, "Too. late." And in the stillness around them, the air changed with their moods. It became charged with want and passion and tension. She stares at him, he stares right back at her. Neither one would back down. But someone has to admit defeat, didn't they? Slowly his eyes roamed her face, and her eyes ended up fixated on his lips. The urge to consume became almost like another person with them. Both wanting the other.
"Bella, I can't give you anything of worth. I can't .." He looks down as if his head was too heavy to hold up. His shoulders slump- this is not the man Bella knew. This was not the ever-confident Edward that she loved to flirt with. He was unraveling before her eyes.
"You are the only one who can give me anything. Edward? Edward, please look in my eyes."
His eyes, when he does as she asks and looks into hers, are full of every kind of emotion. Anger, fear, passion and loneiless. Such loneiless.
"Isabella, understand me. I'm afraid if I start touching you now, I won't ever stop. I want you to the point of madness." Leaning into her ear, his whisper of breath tickles the side of her neck, "I want to taste you, Bella. I want to taste your sweetness on my tongue, have it coat the back of my throat- I'm not talking about your blood. I think about what it would feel like to have you under me and I want to lay my hands on every inch of you. I want to feel the shape of your curves under my hands, feel the weight of you on top of me." He placed his face in the crook of her neck and Bella's eyes closed and her mouth opened as if that would help slow down her heart. "You are my only desire." As he said this his lips pressed against her collarbone.
"Please kiss me. I know it will be okay. We're safe. Just.. kiss me." Bella wanted to curse herself. She really did. She felt like she was begging him to touch her. Stubborn vampire! She could feel the want coming off him in waves- it matched her emotions perfectly. All she could feel was him around her. Smell him around her. She wanted more, wanted to taste him. To know what his arms felt like wrapped around her while they gave in. And the scene in her heart played out for them through her mind's eye. Flash after flash of kissing, touching, loving. It was too much for Edward. Nawing at his control.
"Shit!" And with that he jumped out of her dream world so abruptly that it pulled Bella out as well. Bring them back to her too warm room, lying in bed with him so close. But before she voiced her regrets or sorries, he was moving.
'Edward-"
"Damn it, I give. If I'm going to hell I might as well do it throughly! And if I'm going to kiss you, little human, it's damn well going to be while you're awake!" Edward pushed Bella back so she was lying down once more. He took her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers gently, but full of force. Dear God it was like opening the flood gates, or opening Pandora's box. Nothing was ever going to be the same, and this passion would never be forced to be locked up again. With a groan his let his tongue have a swipe at her bottom lip: So sweet. Surely nothing on God's earth was sweeter than this girl under him. An instint addict he became. He knew in his heart now that he had allowed himself a taste, he would take everything she offered like a true bastard and he would give her anything- even something he never wanted her to have: Himself.
A/N: My oh my. So they have kissed and things will be moving *wink* right along now. I think I used up all my sweet & girly on that dream! Lol Now, I offer you a two for one deal: Next chapter- go on click it- you know you want to!