The meeting was over quickly after Solona left – Leliana was clearly eager to be done with it – and Cullen left the room feeling worried. From Solona's shocked expression, Cullen could tell that Leliana hadn't mentioned him in her letter. Cullen didn't know if he should be thankful for that. As he passed Josephine's office, his eyes fell to the mabari sitting on his haunches. Its intelligent eyes were focused onto him.
"Barkspawn! Were you waiting for me?" Cullen turned to see Leliana stepping lightly up behind him, her soft voice practically purring at the magnificent beast. The dog gave her an affirmative bark, and wagged its tail. "Alright then, lead on! Where did those two go?" Leliana laughed, but the dog didn't budge. Barkspawn was still pointedly looking at him. "I think," Leliana said, noticing the dog's attention. "That he wants you to follow him too."
"Me? What could he possibly want me for?" Leliana shrugged. "Solona probably told him to bring us both. You might as well follow willing now – Barkspawn will follow you to the Black Sea and drag you back if need be. You know how loyal mabari are." The dog gave another affirmative bark, and Cullen sighed. Might as well get this over with now. Following the dog – Barkspawn? Really? – Cullen left the main hall with Leliana. The mabari eventually led them to the abandoned room filled with rubble, broken bed, and chairs. Solona and Zevran were sitting together on the bed, a bottle held in each one's hand. Hawke and Varric was sitting on dusty chairs facing them. She had let her hair down – and Cullen realized that it was much shorter than it had been during her time at the Circle. Her wavy hair only reached to her shoulders.
They all turned to look as Cullen closed the door behind him. "Ah, the meeting is finally over then?" Hawke slurred out. Solona stood and crossed the room swiftly, once again embracing the Spymaster warmly. Zevran motioned for Cullen to sit in another chair next to Hawke. "Commander Cullen! Come, join us. We have excellent selection here – my dear Grey Warden is truly gifted at finding fine liquor. I myself prefer the Antivan Sip-Sip." Zevran shook the bottle he was holding, and smiled. Hawke pushed a different one into his hand. "I think that one was called Butterbile from 7:84. Where she found it, I don't want to know." Hawke drawled. "I've already claimed the Aqua Magus." Varric grinned and held up his own bottle. "I wanted to know how Dragon Piss tasted like. Not half bad, actually."
Solona was leading Leliana back to the bed, sitting her down next to herself. She passed Flames of Our Lady to the woman – where did she find all these liquor? – and picked up her own bottle. Her cheeks were flushed in lovely shade of pink. Barkspawn settled himself by her feet.
"Shall we get down to business?" Solona smirked as she took a long sip, leaning slightly against the elf for support. Cullen glanced down at the bottle he was holding – his hand was gripping it so tightly that it was a wonder the bottle didn't shatter – and struggled to keep calm. Maker, she was right there. As if there wasn't a decade long gap between them.
"Business." Cullen echoed, his voice rougher than he meant. Hawke and Varric snorted, disgusted at the prospect.
"Actually, shouldn't you be resting?" Leliana asked, placing her hand on Solona's thigh. "You've been traveling hard, haven't you? You look completely exhausted." The dog whined softly.
"Oh Leliana, you have no idea. It has been months since we've been able to relax so." Zevran complained, holding Solona with one arm. "My Warden is such a hard taskmaster, no? Months since we've had a chance to sit down and take a sip of fine wine." The way the elf said 'my warden' picked at Cullen's attention. The way the slender elf's velvety voice caressed those words made it clear to anybody with half a brain that he was truly saying 'my love'. Cullen took a long swig from the bottle he was holding.
"Shush, you knew it would be hard travel when you decided to follow me." Solona patted him, and looked over at Cullen. "I truly did not expect you to be here, Commander. Thank you for sparing the time to come talk to me with my friends. I am in desperate need to be updated on current situations." Cullen tried not to be disappointed at her perfectly professional manner. I should be grateful she didn't attack me on sight, he berated himself. "It is no problem. May I ask how I should address you? I am quite uncertain, considering the numbers of title you hold." Cullen was proud of how his voice held steady, mirroring her professional manners. Hawke snickered.
"You can call me Solona for now. Since as far as the Inquisition is concerned, I am currently not here, there is no need to call me by title. Later on though, you can call me Warden General." Solona shot her cousin an irritated look. "Zevran and I have arrived ahead of schedule to have a chance to find out about what has been happening. Care to inform me?"
They all filled in Solona and Zevran over the hour. She often stopped them to ask her questions, trying to understand the disaster the world has fallen into while she was absent. Hawke and Varric started off - explaining the details of the events that transpired at Kirkwall. Then while Leliana provided her with the information on the events that have transpired, Cullen provided her with the military presence of Inquisition in Thedas trying to bring stability to the land. The candles burned lower and more liquor was consumed as the evening progressed. Finally, Solona nodded her head in satisfaction. "I believe that should be enough for tonight – good to see you're stuck in the middle of this mess Leliana. You have knack for getting caught up in major catastrophes, don't you?" She grinned widely at her friend. "But truly, a hole in the sky? You should consider getting a hobby that is less lethal."
Zevran snorted amusedly. "Ah, my dear Warden. Perhaps you should listen to your own advice. It has been ten long years since we've had a full week where no one's tried to kill us. Truly, I've been keeping track. Over a decade!" Solona laughed out loud at that, her musical voice ringing like a bell. She didn't hold back when she laughed, the way the nobles such as Trevelyan did. She laughed with pure delight, her joy lighting up everything around her.
"Oh Zev, you know that's why you follow me around everywhere. There's excitement no matter where I go." Solona winked at the elf, and picked up another bottle. "Now that the grim business is out of the way, shall we enjoy ourselves?" Her deep eyes held a mischievous glint that made him swallow hard.
"If you will excuse me Lady Amell, I must return to my duties." Cullen made to stand, but the dog was suddenly pressing down on top of him, keeping him still. Solona's eyes slowly swept over him, going over every inch of his body. Cullen couldn't help the light shivers that ran through his body under her sharp gaze. "I'm sorry Commander, but it seems Barkspawn is enjoying your company too much. We won't be here for long – Zevran and I are quite exhausted and will retire soon. Please indulge us for a little while longer." Barkspawn didn't move off of him until Cullen nodded.
True to her words, Zevran and Solona did not stay for long. After listening to Varric and Hawke's few short, wild tales they both excused themselves to go rest. Looking at the slumped shoulders and the lethargic movements, Cullen could tell that they were both weary. As the small gathering broke, Cullen pulled the unfamiliar elf to the side quickly earning a quizzical look.
"Is there something I can help you with, Commander?" The elf's voice and his wiggling eyebrows were somehow so very suggestive, despite the fatigue present on his face. Cullen fought the heat that crept up to his cheeks.
"Ser Arainai." He started, determined to get the words out while he had the chance. The elf simply waived his hand. "Zevran will do. There is no need for formality. It helps to lessen the distance." Maker, how did he manage to sound so… salacious no matter what he said?
"Zevran, then. I wished to thank you for stopping me earlier in the war room today." Cullen knew he would have drawn his sword at Solona if Zevran hadn't stopped him. He grimaced at the thought, dreading the prospect. "You do not know what a huge favor you have done for me. Thank you." Zevran stared him for a moment thoughtfully before nodding, accepting his gratitude. He looked as if he wanted to say something but then decided against it. And then they were gone, retiring for the remainder of the day. Cullen slowly trudged back to his own office, his mind never quite leaving the Warden.
"*~*"
He didn't see Solona again until the day after. Despite that, her physical presence within the Skyhold distracted him to no end. He was just glad Skyhold wasn't aware of Solona's early arrival – Josephine and Leliana were already teasing him plenty. By the time he finally managed to wrench his mind back to work, it was hours after sundown. And then a quiet knock sounded on his door.
"Enter." Cullen called out, his eyes still on the map, assuming it was his messenger. It was too late to be soldiers passing through his office. "Do you have the report on the supply routes for Adamant yet?"
"No ser. I'm afraid you'll have to wait a while longer." Her amused voice makes Cullen nearly jump out of his skin.
"Solona! I didn't… I wasn't… I mean, what are you doing here?" His eyes finds hers immediately, so familiar to him. Too familiar.
"I was wondering if you had a moment to talk. I didn't want to disturb you so late at night, but you were surrounded by soldiers all throughout the day." Cullen just stared at her blankly. Solona Amell was in his office.
"I have to leave soon to meet up with Oghren and others, and I wanted to… clear some things out between us before I was announced to the Inquisition formally." Wincing, Cullen nodded.
"May we go somewhere more private? I'd rather not get caught by your messengers."
"Right, of course." Moving slowly, Cullen led her out to the room above the taverns. It was still filled with rubble, but nobody would disturb them there. Solona leaned heavily against the wall before looking over to him and smiled.
"Apologies for coming by so late – I would have come sooner, but I'm still recovering from the hard travel. I must admit I spent the better part of the day in bed."
"Is that why your magic feels so… off?" Cullen struggled with the words, hoping not to offend her. "You feel powerful, but somehow not complete."
Solona didn't bother hiding her surprise. "You can tell? Well, you always were an excellent templar." Cullen didn't mention it was only her magic that he was so attuned to.
"I was far away. Really far away. I left before the mage rebellion in Kirkwall, you know. I used up most of my mana to get back so quickly. Zev and Barkspawn clearly didn't enjoy the trip back. I have gained an unusually large mana capacity compared to other mages over the years, but still. It was difficult. My mana is still only at about quarter of its usual size." Cullen's mouth fell open at that.
"Quarter? You're practically radiating magic, it's a wonder my templars didn't notice!" Solona looked amused.
"Why do you think you didn't notice when I walked in to your office? I would be a poor Warden indeed if I didn't know how to hide myself. But this is not what we are here to talk about." Cullen felt himself stiffen, wary of the powerful mage standing before him. One he had treated with unfair contempt. He couldn't meet her eyes.
"Cullen." Solona moved to stand right in front of him. She was so close. "I am sorry." What? Cullen looked at her in bewilderment. "What could you possibly be sorry for?" Her hand came up his face, hesitant. Momentarily, he saw the young shy girl back in the Circle.
"Ten years ago, when I… found you. In the tower. I didn't treat you fairly." Dumbfounded at the way the conversation was moving, Cullen simply stared. "You were delusional, tortured for days. And I threw my anger at you. I should have handled it better, for Maker's sake, you were tortured! You had every right to be angry at the mages. But I was too young, and I didn't." Her hand was warm on his, her eyes brimming with tears as she looked up to him. "I am sorry, Cullen. I am so sorry."
Slowly, his hand came up to her soft cheek. Mirroring her, Cullen cupped her small face with his hand. Her face was inches away from his face, her warm breath washing over him. "Solona, I should be the one apologizing. I said horrible things to you back then that you did not deserve. The anger blinded me, and I lashed out at you. It was unworthy of me. I hope… I hope you can forgive me. Maker knows I don't deserve it, but I am sorry. I wanted to tell you for a long time how sorry I was." His thumb stroked her cheeks, his fingers brushing against her sharp jaw. He looked into her eyes with every ounce of sincerity he could muster. He was never good with words, and he willed for her to see the apology he yearned to give her.
Solona smiled so brilliantly, Cullen was dazzled. Laughing, she hugged him tightly. "Of course I forgive you! I forgave you years ago." Awkwardly, Cullen patted her back. "And Cullen, thank you. Thank you for surviving. Thank you for living through that nightmare. I don't think I would have made it through the Blight if you have died." She sounded muffled, with her face buried in his furred pauldron.
At that, Cullen couldn't help himself anymore. Throwing his reservation to the wind, his arms wrapped around her, crushing her into his body in a desperate embrace. She molded into him, fitting perfectly. "Solona, Solona." He chanted her name, slightly broken by sobs that threatened to break through. "I've missed you. You have no idea how much I've missed you. For ten long years." He buried his face in the crook of her neck, inhaling her citric scent. She was so warm, so soft. For the first time, Cullen felt her hair rubbing into his face. It was thick and silky. Her familiar magic sang to him, confirming that she was there, and she was real.
They stood in silence for a long time, holding each other in a tight embrace in the darkness. Cullen savored every second of it until she broke apart, gasping "Cullen, I need to breathe!" Chuckling, he loosened his grip on her slightly and smirked. He felt so happy and playful. How she managed to bring out such emotions from him so easily, he would never know. He ruffled her hair as she panted, trying to catch her breath and laughed when she shot him an irritated look.
Maker, he felt so free! The worry and guilt Cullen had carried for years were gone. Simply melted away in her easy acceptance of him. Cullen felt giddy with relief, and recognized the same in the exultant look her soft eyes gave him. She gently disentangled from him.
"I need to go, Cullen. My men are waiting for me. We can catch up after I 'arrive' at Skyhold." Reluctantly he let her step away from him, his fingers lingering for a moment too long on her hand. Noticing, she gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
"I'll see you again later today, Cullen." And she was gone. Despite the traces of her magic left in the air plucking at his senses, Cullen felt as if he had dreamed up the entire encounter. Shaking his head, he headed back to his office.
For the first time in a decade, he did not wake up screaming when the morning came.