Hi my lovely readers. Well I have two apologises to make here. One for how long it has taken me to get this out. Part of the reason is real life (namely work) is kicking my ass and the other part was I ended up redoing this chapter a few times as I wasn't happy with it. I think I have it sorted now though. (hope you all like it) Anyway this brings me to my second apology. I said that Chapter 10 would be the last chapter, and it was going to be but like I said before I ended up changing the chapter so much that it ended up being to long so I had to split the chapter in two.

I'm in meetings all day tomorrow and there are still a few bits of the next chapter to sort out so i'm going to say that I will post the final chapter Sunday. If I can get it up Saturday I will but I don't want to promise something that I might be able to deliver on.

Well enough of rambling I hope you enjoy this chapter xxx

Heavy In Your Arms

'I'm strong enough to stand protecting both

your heart and mine.

Who is the betrayer, who's the killer in the crowd,

the one who creeps

in corridors and doesn't make a sound

Breaking

Liv found herself alone again. It had become a pattern over the recent months. The past 10 months had been hard on the both them, but it was worse for Happy, he may have not openly admitted it but she could tell, he was lost without the Club.

Life as a civilian just wasn't Happy and he was struggling with it and it was finally starting to take it's toll on their relationship. She wasn't angry tough because this was all her fault. If she had just kept her mouth shut, found another way to deal with Clay then they wouldn't be hiding out in Vancouver, living under false alias. And struggling with a life neither of them wanted.

Liv looked up at the clock on the wall in the kitchen. 11.25pm. She pulled another smoke from her pack and lit it before taking a swig of her neat Vodka as she slumped further into the kitchen chair she was sat in.

He stayed out most nights now till gone midnight. She knew he wasn't working not matter what he told her. She knew because she could always smell the beer and Whisky mixed with the very familiar stench of strippers. It sounded weird that she could smell it, but after nearly 8 years of stripping you come to know the familiar smell of glitter and baby oil.

Liv was pretty sure he wasn't cheating on her, but she had a horrible feeling that it wouldn't be long especially since they hadn't had sex in a month. Again she found herself unable to get mad at him.

He had given up everything for her and now she thought that he was starting to resent her for it.

She didn't blame him.

Because of her he had lost everything, he had given that all up everything he loved, valued he even risked his life all to save hers.

And the worse part was she knew if he had to do it again he would.

She took another drink as she glanced at her phone. Nothing. She couldn't do this anymore. She had to do something.

Happy watched the fingers trail down his chest before she turned around and started grinding her peachy ass against his groin. Fuck he had a serious case of blue balls right now.

He hadn't fucked his girl in over a month which was like a life time for them, and there wasn't even a valued reason as to why, all he knew was that it was him not her, not really anyway.

This whole living life from one place to the next and constantly watching his back was nothing knew for him. That was pretty much his life as a Nomad. But this was different. This time it wasn't just his back he had to watch out for, it was Liv's as well. And he had to do it all without his cut.

It didn't really bother him a first, not having cut, but slowly as time passed and he had to start living life as a civilian he really fucking missed the club and everything that came with it. He missed the way the cut gave him instant respect from strangers, the way he knew that his brothers had his back. He missed the open the road, the runs. He just really missed being a Son.

But he gave it up for the right reasons. He gave it up to save the life of his wife and he would do it time and time again.

But recently he found himself resenting everything including her. And he hated himself for it which was why every night for the past month and a half he'd been coming here after his stint in the garage. He'd gotten work as a mechanic, being on call was the lie he spun to Liv when he didn't get home till late. It was just one of many lies he was telling her lately.

With that thought he drained the rest of his beer.

"Hey Sugar, I get off in 5 if you fancy taking this further." The petite brunette purred seductively into his ear as she turned back to face him, her perfect DD's pushing up in his face.

Happy looked straight into her eyes and could see the lust lingering there. She wanted him, and by the looking he wouldn't have to pay. Just like the when he was a Son. This girl was making him feel more like the man he once was, and Happy had to admit he was tempted.

She trailed her nails down his shirt, her eyes flashing with more lust at the feel of his chiseled chest. Her fingers were heading south but before her dainty hand could reach the buckle of his belt Happy's larger hand engulfed hers as he pulled it away and pulled her the extra few centimeters that lay between them.

"Where?"

"You drive that black pickup right?" Happy gave her a nod. "Give me 10 minutes and I'll meet you outside." She quickly glanced over her shoulder to check that her bosses weren't looking, once she was satisfied she turned back to him and pressed her lips against his. Happy didn't stop her. "See you in 10 Sugar." With a wink thrown over her shoulder she left the private dancing area through the deep purple curtains.

Happy rubbed the red lipstick he knew she had bound to left behind from his lips. He continued sitting there for a minute as he thought about everything. Another minute later he was on his feet heading for his truck.

Happy made sure he opened and closed the door as quietly as he could. The house was encased in darkness, unlike all the other nights he had been out to the bar, she had finally given up on waiting for him.

Walking into the kitchen he headed for a fridge and pulled out a bottle of water. The light from the fridge illuminating the kitchen allowing him to see the empty bottle of Vodka and the overflowing ashtray on the kitchen table. He knocked the fridge shut with his elbow as he took a swig of his water and made his way to the table.

The scene in front of was becoming a regular thing. Shit she was clearing nearly a bottle a night. And that lay at his feet.

He cleared up the mess and headed upstairs. He found Liv flat out on their bed. Placing the bottle of water on the dresser he walked over to the side of the bed she was at and crouched down in front of her.

"What the fucks happenin' to us girl." He spoke barely above a whisper as he moved a piece of her dirty blonde hair off her face.

She was beautiful, always had been and he had always loved her, even before he realised it himself. It was always her. She was just 15 when she told him that she loved him...shit she was the first person besides his Ma that had said that to him. He decided then that he was never going to let that go, never let her go. Which is why he didn't think twice about laying down his cut for her.

He ran his hand over his face again. How he gone from that to resenting her. He was so fucked up.

Getting up he went to head for the shower knowing that he probably needed it but as soon as he took a step he felt her grab his wrist.

He looked down at her to find her just staring up at him, her eyes full of sadness. The guilt ripped through him.

Liv glanced at the clock on the nightstand. 2.02am.

"Your late." She mumbled her voice rough from sleep.

"Yeah. Sorry." She just shrugged and tried to pull him closer but Happy didn't move. "Need to take a shower."

Liv swallowed hard as she continued to look at him. She could feel the tears burning in the back of her eyes, but she fought them. She wasn't going to cry. Unable to speak she let go of his hand and nodded before turning her back on him.

Happy felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world. He needed to snap out of this because he was hurting his girl, and that didn't sit right with him.

Happy woke to find Liv's side of the bed empty. Running a hand over his shaved head he could already feel the mother of all headaches starting.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed he grabbed his smoke off the nightstand desperate for the hit of nicotine. As he smoked his cigarette he looked over his shoulder at the empty space. He felt the guilt wash over him again. He needed to pull his head out of his ass or he was going to lose another thing he loved.

Liv was standing in front of the stove, watching the bacon cook in the pan when she heard him come down the stairs. She felt herself tense and hated herself for it. How the hell had they got to this place. How the hell had they got to the point of him cheating.

"Mornin'." Liv looked over her shoulder and smiled at him before turning back to the stove.

"Take a seat breakfast won't be a sec. Coffee's in the pot."

She couldn't even look at him and Happy knew that she knew. He guessed it was that woman's intuition thing, that she could another woman's hands being on her guy. Whatever it was, she knew.

The thought of what he had done made him feel sick. He would have left the breakfast she was placing in front of him, if he wasn't afraid of upsetting her even more.

"You aint eatin'?" He asked when she sat down at the table with him, just a mug of coffee in her hand.

"Not hungry." Happy shook his head. She was never hungry lately, and it was showing. She'd lost a lot of weight lately enough to make him notice, to make him worry. "Don't start Hap. I'll grab somethin' at work." He dropped his fork on to his plate as he looked at her.

"You always say that shit. When was the last time you fuckin' ate a meal with me."

"When was the last time you were fucking here to eat a meal with." Liv shouted getting to her feet and marching over to the sink and throwing her mug in, making it shatter.

He really was on a roll with her at the moment, he couldn't do or say anything right.

Liv took a few deep calming breaths she didn't want to fight with him. She didn't have the energy. She heard the chair scrape across the floor, seconds later she felt him behind her.

"I'm sorry." Happy said as he grabbed onto the counter either side of her. "Promise I'm gonna make this all good. We'll be al'right." He kissed the skin underneath her ear, but Liv pulled away.

"Your gonna be late."

"Yeah." Happy pushed away from her. He should be mad but how could when he was the one who was wrong. She was the one who had every right to be mad.

"Hap..." He stopped as he reached the kitchen door. "I love you."

"Me to."

"You gonna be late tonight." He could see the desperation in her face. Happy shook his head. He was coming home tonight.

"Nah. How bout you make somethin' or order in."

"I'd like that."

Liv paced the carpet of her living room floor. He was late, two hours late to be precise. He should have been here, and the fact that he wasn't gave her a bad feeling. Christ this whole thing gave her a bad feeling. As soon as she had made the call last night, she started second guessing herself. But now, after last night she knew she had to at least try and make all this right. She owed him that.

Her pacing came to a stop when she heard the familiar rumble of the Harley approaching. She basically ran to the door or rather to the shotgun that was propped up by the side of it. She may have called him but that didn't mean that she wasn't weary of him.

Before he could even knock she opened the door the shot gun raised at him.

"Woah..." Both of his hands shot up in a surrendering motion. "Liv.."

"Are you alone?" She asked keeping the gun trained on him even though her hands were shaking.

"Yes...you told me to come alone. I'm alone Liv...I swear." Believing him she gave a nod, but she still kept the gun raised.

"Your guns, knife slide them to me." Normally he wouldn't willingly disarm himself especially when he had a shot gun pointed in his face. But he knew she wasn't going to kill him, she was just protecting herself. And he couldn't blame her.

Liv picked up his weapons and finally lowered the gun as she stepped aside allowing him in.

"You want something to drink?"

"Sure."

Liv stepped around him and headed for kitchen. He followed behind her his eyes taking in the surroundings. It was a small house but it was nice. He wondered how long they had been here.

"Here." He turned back to Liv as she handed him a beer. He was going to make a comment that it was a little early but as he watched her down a good chunk of her own beer he decided to keep his mouth shut.

Jax had always found himself slightly attracted to the girl in front of him, she was gorgeous he'd have to be blind not to see it, but right now he had to admit she looked half the woman she used to be..literally.

She was dressed in a pair of ripped jeans that hung on her now protruding hips and now none existent ass. The white long sleeved top she had also emphasised just how much weight the girl had lost. She looked gaunt in the face to, and dark shadows underlined her sunken eyes. These past 10 months had obviously been hard on her but then again they hard on everyone.

A lot of things had changed since they had left. Which was why he had come.

"So I'd ask how your doin' but I guess you would never have called me if..."

"I didn't need you, right." Liv said bluntly. She did need Jax, she hoped that he really was the man that she thought he was.

"What's this all about Liv?"

"What do you think?" Liv took another gulp of her beer. "Happy still hasn't spoke about that day." Jax didn't need to ask what Liv was referring to. Liv lent her elbows on the table leaning closer towards Jax. "I need to know what happened Jax."

"That ain't my place Darlin'." Liv wasn't surprised that he said that, brother loyalty and all that.

"Okay." She drained the last of her drink. "Then how about I tell you what I know, what really went on. Because I'm pretty sure Clay has probably fed you all a load of bullshit." Her last words came out venomous making her distaste for Clay clear. Under different circumstances Jax would pull up a woman for talking about Clay like that but things had changed and Jax was more than intrigued to hear her side of the story. Because something about what happened 10 months ago didn't make any sense to him.

"I'm listen Darlin'."

Happy steered the truck through the quiet streets as he headed for home. He made sure today that nothing stopped him from getting home to his girl. He missed her, he missed the way they were before everything went to shit.

Last night he had been close...to fucking close.. to ruining it all, and what for some pretty little stripper.

Sure she was hot but she wasn't Liv. She wasn't his wife, the woman he loved so much it scared him most of the time.

He had to get over this shit, this resent. Fuck, Clay was the one he was really pissed at not Liv, although if she had told him what Clay...Happy shook his head, those thoughts were the reason behind all that resent, he couldn't go there.

He headed down the street towards their house, promising himself again that he was going to make this right.

Liv heard the truck before she saw it swing into the driveway. She had told Jax to pull his bike into the garage alongside Happy's.

She had spent the whole afternoon, even taking the day off work, to explain to Jax everything that happened between her and Clay from the moment they had met. He sat in silence at first and Liv started panicking that she had made a really big mistake by calling him, but then he spoke and that fear was gone. He was going to help them.

As she watched Happy walk up their drive from the kitchen window, Liv realised she hadn't really thought about what she was going to tell Happy about her calling Jax and frankly right now she couldn't really find the energy to care. This, the life that they were living now was killing them both and tearing them apart.

She had two options either she could let it happen or she could do something about, she could fight. She preferred the latter. She'd left him once before because she couldn't bare to watch him fall out of love with her, she wan't about to sit by and do that now. Last night was the wake up call she needed.

"Smells good girl." And Happy wasn't lying. He couldn't remember the last time that he had been home when she had been cooking the dinner. Normally he ended up heating the meal of that night up in the microwave.

"Your Ma's Spicy Chicken Lasagne." My favorite, He thought as he walked up behind her as she washed up the utensils in the sink.

For the first time in his life Happy actually hesitated when he went to go and touch her, the memory of her pulling away from him that morning in the front of his mind. He shook it away though and reached out for her regardless of what her reaction might be. She didn't pull away to his relief.

Knowing that it might be pushing it a little Happy moved her wavy dirty blonde hair over her shoulder his lips kissing the soft skin of her neck.

"Hap..." He knew by her tone she wanted him to stop but he didn't. He missed the feel...the taste of her skin. It was intoxicating. "Hap..." Again her words did nothing. He knew he could push her a bit more but when he heard the sound of someone clearing their voice from the doorway of the Kitchen, Happy pulled his lips from her and went for his gun-even if he was a civilian now there were some things that he wouldn't give up- and when he saw Jax standing there he was glad that he didn't give up carrying a gun.

"What the fuck are you doin' here?" Happy growled as he advanced on an unarmed Jax.

Shit. Liv thought as she watched Happy advance towards Jax. "Hap...Hap..." She went to grab his arm but he just shrugged her off as he grabbed Jax around the throat. "I called him..." Liv forced her way between the two men. "I called him." Liv spoke firmly looking Happy straight in the eyes. "I called him." Happy's grip eased and both Jax and Liv let out a breath of relief.

"What the fuck is goin' on Liv?" Happy demanded not taking his eyes off her, even when Jax spoke.

Well I hope you liked it, i know I was a bit nasty to Liv and Hap in this chapter, but remember still one to go...