oOo
Wesley wandered around the ship for the rest of the afternoon, startling the few people who hadn't heard he was back and making light conversation with them, but he always excused himself after a minute and returned to what he'd been doing before the interruption: thinking. Thinking about what the Traveler had told him, about what his mother and Counselor Troi had told him, but mostly thinking about Robin.
He'd left the ship, left his friends, his family, his career, and the woman he was just beginning to realize how much he cared for--left them all, because he'd discovered a need to think about himself and his expectations for himself, for the first time in a long time. Maybe the first time ever. His first priority had been himself, and he would never regret that decision. The last six months had filled a void in his life he hadn't even noticed until it was gone.
But now, all bets were off. He'd always known that his actions had consequences, that no living being existed in a vacuum, that his decisions affected more than just himself. Because of one of those actions, he was now responsible for the creation of another life--and his future actions would have direct and measurable consequences for that other life as well as his own.
And what exactly was he sacrificing if he stayed? According to the Traveler, nothing. His mentor would be ready for him when he himself was ready to take up his studies, which meant he was free to take up as much of his old life as he wanted, and to make a new life for himself that encompassed both aspects. And, he realized in surprise, that was exactly what he wanted, what he needed right now. Finding out about the baby had changed everything, refocused his priorities as discovering his own untapped abilities had refocused them six months ago. Staying here with Robin and the baby wasn't so much taking a step backward as it was finding his way home again.
With that revelation, Wesley found himself in front of the door to Robin's quarters. He hesitated a moment, then reached out and pressed the comm button. There was no sense in putting it off a minute longer. The Traveler was correct about many things, especially about the choice being his and his alone. It wasn't fair to Robin for him to delay talking to her any longer; she'd already waited six months for him, and he was ready to see how much of him she wanted in her life. After all, she'd been very careful to keep her requests focused on the baby rather than on herself, but he didn't need empathy to sense that there was more to it than that. If he was reading more into the situation than actually existed, now was the time to find out.
The door opened, and she was standing there. Wesley licked lips suddenly gone dry. "Hi, Robin."
"Hi yourself," she said, then stepped back from the door to allow him entry to her quarters. She'd been avoiding him, forcing herself to stay away, to give him time to digest everything she'd thrown at him last night. It hadn't been easy, but she'd managed it. Here he was, a full day before she'd been planning on seeking him out. She wondered uneasily if that was good or bad, then squelched the thought. It was no use speculating without facts. She would just have to wait and see what he said before she allowed herself to have a reaction beyond the sudden tightening of her stomach and racing of her heart.
"I've been doing a lot of thinking," Wesley broke into her thoughts as she sat on the sofa. He sat next to her, but she refused to see that as a good sign; people often went for close physical proximity when delivering bad news. "I spoke to the Traveler, and he doesn't see any reason for me not to stay here as long as I need to."
"How long will that be?" Leffler asked through stiff lips. Her heart was leaping with hope, but she forced herself to speak as emotionlessly as possible. She didn't want Wesley making any decisions based on what he thought she wanted him to do; it wouldn't be fair.
"As long as you want me to," Wesley replied firmly. So much for fairness. "As long as you'll have me. Robin," he continued seriously, "I don't know if you realize this, but leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever done. But it did allow me to start fixing things about my own life that were bothering me. Things that I needed to do, to discover about myself and what I'm capable of."
"But what if--what'll happen when you need to continue your training again?" Robin forced herself to ask. "I don't want you to feel you have to stay with us, to put your own needs aside…"
Wesley shook his head. "That's just it. I don't have to go anywhere to do that. And even if for some reason I do, at some point, it won't be any different than if we were both in Starfleet and assigned to different postings," he pointed out. "Better, even, because we'll never truly be more than a few minutes apart. Translocation is one of the things the Traveler taught me that I'm actually pretty good at. So I can be back as soon as you need me to be, no matter how long I'm gone in between. If you want me to be with you, that is," he added, feeling a sudden doubt.
Leffler responded by leaning forward and planting a firm kiss on his lips. "Don't ever worry about that," she replied after a moment spent savoring the intimacy of his embrace once again. "I want as much of you as I can get, for as long as I can have you." She kissed him again, then smiled as he pulled her closer for a warm hug.
After a few minutes of companionable silence, the peace of the moment was shattered by a loud grumble from the general vicinity of Robin's stomach. She stared down at her body for a second, then looked back at Wesley. They broke into laughter, and Robin was relieved that the heavy mood that had fallen over her since Wesley's arrival had finally broken. Not only because of her body's reaction, but also because they'd finally said the things she'd been dreading--and it had turned out better than she'd dared hope. Much better.
"I guess that means I should take you to dinner," Wesley said after the laughter died down enough for him to get the words out. "Ten-Forward okay?"
"Are you sure?" Robin asked warily. "I mean, are you ready to let people know you're the mystery man in my life?" Damn, why hadn't she thought about the little fact that not too many people knew the identity of her child's father? What had possessed her to so casually drop another potential bomb in Wesley's lap so soon after they'd resolved one of the bigger issues?
Wesley gazed at her, sensing the sudden turmoil her own words were causing her, and considering the best way to handle it. Delicately, he sensed; her emotional state was as fragile as his right now. Maybe worse, when he took hormones into consideration. "Well, I don't think we have to go making any shipwide announcements until the baby is actually born," he said seriously. "But I think people will be able to put two and two together when they see you with me--the ones who haven't already," he added wryly, thinking about Geordi and Data. "We'll be the toast of the gossip circuit for a while, then my Mom and Captain Picard will do something to catch their attention again and we'll be off the hook until the baby's actually born."
Robin nodded, feeling a little foolish for her sudden spasm of fear. "Sorry," she apologized. "I'm just used to avoiding the issue; like I told you, I wanted to wait and talk to you before making our, um, relationship, public property."
"Our relationship has never been public property, and never will be," Wesley corrected her firmly as he pulled her to her feet. "But there's nothing wrong with letting people see for themselves that we're excited about expecting a baby."
"Are we? I mean, are you? Oh damn," Robin groaned. "I just did it again. Sorry."
"Yes, I am," Wesley said reassuringly, then stopped. "Look, Robin, why don't we both agree to stop trying to second guess each other? I promise to let you know what I'm thinking and how I feel if you do. It's going to be a little awkward for a while, so we should just accept that and just try to deal with each situation as it arises. Why," he added, "do you think I haven't asked you to marry me yet? Because I really want that, and not just because of the baby. I knew I loved you when I left, but I wasn't happy with myself or my life, and I knew I couldn't make someone else happy under those circumstances. Things have changed now, so when we're ready to make that kind of commitment, I want there to be no doubts for either of us. Am I making sense," he interrupted himself, "or just babbling?"
"You're making perfect sense," Robin assured him through a brilliant smile. "I think taking things one step at a time is the right way to deal with it." She took a deep breath. "And now for the first step: dinner in Ten Forward."
Wesley bowed and tucked her hand through his arm as they headed for the door. Now that they had the first batch of heavy emotional stuff out of the way it was time to just relax and get himself back into the rhythm of being on the Enterprise again. And, he admitted privately, it would be fun to see people's reactions. Or to see just how many people had already figured it out, in spite of Guinan's promises that they'd been too distracted by his mother to worry about Robin.
oOo
Picard leaned over and nudged Crusher to catch her attention. When she looked up, he nodded at the door. Her eyes traveled across the bar, widening in delighted surprise when she saw Robin and Wesley walk in together. Arm in arm, she noted, trying to keep the excitement off her face. "Robin and Wesley appear to have talked things over," Picard murmured with a smile.
"That was fast," Crusher replied, her voice as low as his. "Of course," she cautioned, "this might not mean anything more than that Robin's secret is no longer a secret. It probably doesn't mean they've ironed out all the details."
"I'd be surprised if they had," Picard said frankly, turning his attention back to his dinner companion. "I doubt if there are many relationships that have all the details ironed out from the very beginning."
"Well, of course not," Crusher whispered with a frown, ignoring his attempt to lighten the moment. "I only meant--Robin, Wesley! Would you care to join us?" She broke off as the objects of their discussion walked up to them.
"We don't want to interrupt," Wesley began, glancing at Picard questioningly.
"By all means, please join us," Picard invited, moving his seat slightly closer to Beverly's in order to make room. "We've hardly begun." He wondered how she was reacting to the way Wesley had looked to him for approval, then chided himself for being uncharitable. Beverly wouldn't take it personally; she'd recognize it as the ingrained habit it was for any member of the Enterprise crew--past or present--to defer to the ship's captain. Even in cases where an invitation was issued from that crewman's own mother, who happened to be involved with the captain.
"Thanks," Robin said as Wesley solicitously helped her into her seat before taking the last chair. Guinan appeared the moment they were settled, took their orders with a satisfied smile hovering about the edges of her lips, then disappeared once again.
Robin fiddled with her napkin for a moment, glanced once at Wesley, then looked beseechingly at Dr. Crusher. "Is it just me, or is everyone staring at us?"
"Believe me, they were staring at this table long before you two came in," Crusher said wryly. "People still aren't quite used to seeing Jean-Luc and I together on an obvious date." She laughed. "Speaking for myself, I'm starting to get used to it, but I'm also looking forward to the time when it won't be such a novelty for everyone."
"Wesley and I are sort of testing out our own novelty value right now," Robin admitted with a self-conscious grin. "We figure the sooner everyone gets used to seeing us together, the better."
"Does that mean you'll be staying?" Crusher asked her son hopefully.
He nodded, then glanced over at Robin, who smiled back at him. "We've decided not to worry about sorting out our entire future right now; we're just going to concentrate on the baby. But yes, I'll be staying."
"Sensible," Picard declared, but he didn't miss the concerned flicker in Beverly's eyes at her son's words. He had a feeling they would be discussing this dinner for the next few days. It was good that Wesley wasn't planning on rushing off anytime soon; Robin seemed content, so that was one less worry. Or it would be if he could convince Beverly that it was; it was obvious to him that she was itching to ask for more details, or at the very least offer some motherly advice--and equally obvious that she would rather bite her tongue off than do either.
Crusher proved that out by determinedly steering the conversation toward other, less volatile matters for the rest of the evening. By the end of the meal, they'd even managed to banish most of the self-conscious tension they'd all been feeling. Crusher had certainly been correct when she told Robin that all eyes had been on herself and Picard before the other two even appeared. It still made Picard uncomfortable to be the center of attention in this particular manner, but he was determined to make this relationship work, and since he had been the one to initiate it, he knew he'd damn well better be ready to commit to it fully. He knew, without her even saying a word, that Beverly expected exactly that and no less. Just as he knew that, to her, a full commitment meant that there would be no concealing things, from each other or anyone else. She had no objections to discretion, but they were both a bit old for sneaking around. Especially since the ship's all-too-efficient grapevine was positively humming with speculation about them.
And, no doubt, just seeing Wesley back on the ship was more grist for the rumor mill--doubly so since this venture into the public eye with Robin. With an inward sigh, Picard reminded himself that the life of a starship captain was always under scrutiny. Even if he doubted that other starship captains had to put up with clandestine betting pools regarding their romantic situations.
He just wished his crew wasn't so damned interested in his personal life.