Chapter 10: Cheshire Freak
The gates opened unexpectedly. A loud bang shook the quills on Sonic's back: flak cannons announced his entrance. If there was a more obvious trap in the world, it had to be Eggman's handiwork.
Knuckles didn't have to dig under the electric fence anymore because they became GUN's very sudden guests on a secure military site. Both traits turned visible when four soldiers approached them. Three of them had regular gear, guns lowered. Knuckles could tell they were tense.
It looked like the fourth one was of command variety. A heavy helmet, more glitter on the insignia and a sniper rifle on his back. He approached Sonic and bent down to be sure the hedgehog heard him among the noise caused by launch preparations.
He wanted to grab the hedgehog by the pelt, but saw the hairs bolt upright under a startling facial expression. A nasal huff escaped the armoured mask before the agent whispered: "I'll be brief, hedgehog. Those three are on probation. If they decide to blink together and lose sight of you, one of them goes to Holoska. And if you do something funny, two of them die for high treason. Just so you know." There was an audible smile coming from the agent when he paused. "It's a cruel world outside our friendly outpost. Would be a shame if Sonic the Hedgehog took part in the cruelty."
The agent was about to get up when he remembered something. "And if others' lives are worthless to you, I'm dying to test my special bullets on your skull. I've tried them on-"
He would have continued, no doubt, but a swarm of reporters pushed him away. Clearly, Sonic and Knuckles were not the only civilians to join the military for a close-up of the rocket both heroes wished did not exist. Loud camera flashes, calls to smile and generic questions blinded them. Those people made it impossible to proceed or even think.
Sonic tried to ignore the ruckus, random faces jumping, piling over one another to yell louder for his attention. The chilling whisper left a stiff expression on his muzzle. Just when he started hoping GUN had any semblance of humanity left, the military tied the hopes to a rock and dropped it into the deepest ocean crevice.
Once he snapped out of a disgusted shock, he had one thing to tell the crowd. Even though he was used to leeches trying to make some coin from his fame, he had nothing to offer them today.
"Screw this," he grumbled.
There were more important things to do. Unfortunately, GUN hanged another responsibility on his shoulders. Despite the freedom loving attitude, Sonic had a firm commitment with saving lives of the innocents. GUN meatheads hardly qualified, yet he couldn't say no on principle. The hero had a sneaking suspicion that they wanted him to take the easy way, whatever benefit it would have given them.
Sonic stormed off to the blockhouse beneath the radio tower. The three grunts followed him almost as closely as Knuckles did, albeit in a more pedestrian manner. Everyone stopped by the bulky door leading into the subsurface part of the building.
Breaking in probably counted as funny in GUN jargon. Ditching the stooges carried other consequences. Sonic had no qualms about a trip to Holoska. He did, however, realise that different rules applied to regular people with their low stamina and frail everything. Nobody stopped him from abusing the rules, though.
"I want to get inside."
One of them kept starting at him while the other two turned heads in confusion. Was he expecting an answer?
"GUN security staff only."
Ah, so they can talk. That's a start, Sonic thought.
It was a very good start: a female reporter squirmed between them, gave Sonic a belittling look and saw the door rise to a swipe of the ID card dangling from her neck. The hedgehog allowed her to proceed into the cramped space leading to another safe door and a stairwell. When the entrance shut tight again, Sonic looked at the agents quizzically.
"She has clearance."
Knuckles piped in. "How do we get clearance?"
"You put your ID card next to the lock," an agent began, but stepped away from two pairs of very unsatisfied eyes burrowing into his face, "and if you're an accredited reporter, the door lets you in!"
The echidna had his answer, and he would have given it some thought were it not for the accreditation part. Knuckles heard bad things about the word. While he roamed in thought, the three agents muttered something to one another. They knew more than it appeared. A3's orders had nothing against giving the guests a 101. The problem was deciding if a workaround counted as essential info.
Done with the chatter that made Sonic's ears swell in curiosity, the smallest soldier spoke bashfully. "A1 deals with clearance."
This part interested Sonic. "What's an A1?"
"An A1 is a GUN call sign," explained the short one. He could tell the answer did not satisfy the hedgehog, so he added: "He's the field commander, the boss. Group A of Advance team is in charge of the launch, and he's in charge of the team. That makes him Boss In General. Is that right, guys?"
The other two nodded in agreement.
Sonic rubbed his gloves together, grinning. "It's settled. Where is this A1? I want to talk to him."
"We don't know."
The hedgehog didn't expect that, but he wasn't intending to give up. A mischievous glare in A3's direction gave the wayward soldiers a hint about his scheme. "Fine. I'll tell the jerk over there that all of you blinked."
"Not at the same time."
"Not on purpose!"
"Just not," protested the tiniest agent.
Sonic huffed, still game for a serious solution. "Who do you think he'll believe: you or me?"
One of the grunts opened the plastic facial protector to look at Sonic up close. They weren't joking in the first place, and being mistreated by the one considered a hero through and through didn't make their job any easier.
"Give it a rest, Sonic. I have a wife who's a fan of yours back in Station Square. You don't have to like us; just don't be a jerk like A3. Command assigned a few of us to patrol the city streets before that merc showed up and-" he kept talking till Sonic waved a hand at him dismissively. "I asked you not to be a jerk! I have a gun, see? "
On a regular day, he would have listened to the sob story or even offered genuine consolation. Right now, Sonic had doubts big enough to discard the whining as another attempt to bamboozle him. GUN had stooped sufficiently low to hire fake grunts and a midget to cause further delays. Well, it wouldn't work. They've unwittingly given him information to make real progress.
Someone higher up on the food chain had the power as well as the ego to make things happen. A3 gave him a cold shower at the entrance, and Sonic was ripe to return the favour. The agent stood by the warehouse door, leaning against the wall, the rifle by his side. He was talking amiably with another operative, taller and more slender in figure, but much heavier due to a hunter-like exoskeleton.
Once they spotted his approach, the armoured agent turned to leave. The steps proved strong enough to crack pavement and there was a strange hue surrounding the equipment. It was coming from long blue-tinted shoulder pads. When Sonic passed by, he could have sworn everyone else started speeding up. A pang resonated in his ears, as if he stood next to an active slingshot.
It stopped when the agent looked at him. The two exchanged minute glances and the exo-suited soldier marched onwards. Sonic spotted A4 inscribed on the armour's back. So, there were at least four of those. He turned to memorise the agent for sure, but lost them from sight. Strange. The suit couldn't have been that speedy.
The revelation sweetened the pill he wanted to pass on to A3, but he hoped for a good sting, nonetheless.
Sonic stretched out nonchalantly, putting the agent in a less comfortable position. A3 inspected the grunts meant to watch the pest; they stood spread out to cover the echidna as well. Perhaps, the three were worth as much as Mighty Moth said they were.
A cocky yawn coming from Sonic's mouth put his priorities back on the line.
"A3, huh? Bronze must be a snag."
The agent squeezed his eyes behind the helmet. "What do you want, hedgehog?"
"Take me to A1."
He stepped back against the wall and made a mocking noise. "No."
"Why?"
"Because he's busy."
Sonic wouldn't be taken easily. He motioned with a finger for them to murmur in private. "Knuckles took a run around the place while your stooges were busy staring at me. There's someone that looks like an A1 in that warehouse, drinking coffee." Then, he turned to Knuckles with a playful twinkle in his eye. "Right, Knuckles?"
The guardian flexed his arms on cue, impressing no one. "Oh, right. I am as fast as Sonic. Faster, when I want to be."
Before they knew it, two more foot soldiers scuttled to join the team. Those two positioned themselves close to Knuckles. The plan didn't work entirely as expected.
"I trust you, pincushion. Which is why security will check our high speed cameras. If they see red, all's well. But if they get blue spots, you are under arrest, as are your tour guides. Same rules apply to both of you now."
Another setback made the hero frown. The mission had already become a never-ending picture puzzle with missing pieces. Sonic started obliviously pacing in a circle. Faster, faster. Tails had nothing useful to say, save for a run helping blood circulation.
It raised some dust off the ground. As Sonic continued walking, he saw more of it come into view, just like down in the canyon. It gave him an idea, which he intended to show Knuckles. Their escorts looked nervous.
Not because raising a dust storm would count both as funny and losing sight in A3's lexicon. A thin black-suited blond exited the transmitter's compound and was waving at them. Sonic witnessed Eggman's particularly nasty grins many times, but that guy's smile looked like it would tear his face apart any second. He sipped something from a tall can, making the grin vanish in an almost eerie way, and crushed the container before resuming to flash his Cheshire cat-like teeth.
Sonic's entourage approached the man very hesitantly. The two following Knuckles had no such reservations, though. The suit-clad person didn't seem openly hostile when he met them in the doorframe.
The moment they came within sociable distance, Sonic spotted that the door wanted to go down rapidly like last time. It did so in a literal blink, but the man swung outside unscathed. He walked up to them, his arm out for a friendly shake, tiny pupils drilling into Sonic's own.
"Secure doors. Can chop you up if you're too slow," he said, shaking hands with Knuckles. Sonic couldn't tell who was to respond to the sentiment. "Name's Balasupramamian. The Station Square Daily. Editor," he said, adding a lovely smile-removing sigh, "in chief."
Sonic smirked. "You're here for an interview, I'm guessing."
"Right you are, Sonic, palsy!" he exclaimed, still boisterously shaking Knuckles' hand.
The hedgehog felt low about what he was about to do, considering what he had told the reporters earlier, but there were no alternatives. Otherwise, that long-named guy would wobble his friend's knuckles off.
"It's noisy here. What about inside?"
"Ah, Sally, my friend. Always full of fantastic ideas. Absolutely spot on! What do you say, Knuckles? He's begging you to share some juicy secrets already."
The man grabbed both of Knuckles' hands and pressed them together, nodding vigorously. Knuckles was taken aback by this as well as the fact he could see his face reflect from those teeth, a blurry and confused image that made him even more uncomfortable. He smiled back sheepishly, barely scratching the size of the guy's grin with his own, and looked at Sonic pleadingly. The signals coming from that reporter conflicted with the guardian's innards: he spoke nice things, behaved politely, yet there was something about him that made Knuckles want to punch the shark teeth out.
"Knuckles? I meant me, and what-did-you-call-me?"
Excluding the guardian, Sonic seemed to be the only one surprised by the way things were rolling out. The two grunts near Knuckles didn't react to the conversation at all while Sonic's squad gave up ground.
He never stopped grinning, but closed an eye when facing the hedgehog. "Sonny, boy, I've done an interview with you last week. Prison Island, remember?"
"No, I-"
Both pupils sealed shut under a pair of raised wavy eyebrows. "You must be vanished, Sammy. I'll get you a saucy dog." The editor let go of Knuckles to poke his earpiece.
"Vanished?" one of Sonic's guides piped out.
The eyes bounced open and the smile shrank in half. From afar, it looked normal. Up close, Knuckles could see the man bit his lower lip to keep the façade.
"What's talking? Oh, awesome to bits! Catch!" he exclaimed and threw the empty drink can he had deposited in the suit's side pocket. "Find me a bin and we'll waltz on the good side of grammar."
Having caught the trash, the operative scratched the back of his helmet with the other hand. "Where do I find a bin in this place without clearance?"
"Honey, I don't know what you are or how you appeared at our heavenly launch party, but I'm not asking stupid questions. Stupid questions are for losers. Now, get smart and recycle, Babybop. Chop chop." He clapped twice, expecting the agent to leave.
"What did you just call me?"
"Oh my stars, I'm talking to myself again. Sorry!" he exclaimed and immediately put a hand on his mouth. The man turned around for a poke at the earpiece. "Bill, is the dog ready?"
Sonic didn't like where this was going. Reporters had a rudeness gene to them, but this one was plain abusive. "No, seriously," he challenged.
The outburst made him turn around. The newsman took out a napkin to dry his forehead while the face quivered up another huge grin. "Salami, look. We've had a perfect time and the interview was delicious. No biggie; you're reruns now. Even my secretary can't get your name right. But hey, I'm into free spirit and distilled spirit as much as every other hedgehog, so tell me my name and we'll draw a smiley face on the hatchet."
What was his name? Bala…Belly…Bo, gah! It had to be a mind trick. Sonic glanced back at Knuckles, feeling the same destructive intent.
A loud exclamation forced Sonic to forget about violence. The door jumped open for someone to toss a chilidog, which the reporter caught without losing any sauce.
"Ohh, forget the hatchet, Mr Hedgekins. Feast your eyes on this puppy," he said as he offered the hot dog to Sonic.
The hedgehog looked away. His smile only grew from the hero's hesitation.
"Come on. It's good. Made of feisty critter." The man put it on his palm in a way that let everyone see the cookery aligned for maximum appeal. Sonic resisted, so the editor took a bite out of the wiener. "It's not poisoned. See? Catch!"
He threw the hot dog high into the air, attracting the eyes of many. Sonic's pupils followed the pattern like a perfect student would. The sun pronounced every ingredient with its mouth-watering texture while the bun's shadow reminded him of the haste he'd need to save it from getting smudged. Gravity had already started pulling it down. Bits of sauce slithered off the surface mid-flight, crystal clear in their spicy tomato-mince-pepper flavour. Sonic had nothing but chaos to eat since the early hours. If he let the food go to waste, his stomach would have strangled his brain.
Despite the bite marks, disregarding the creepy smiles, he'd have it. Because if he didn't take a jump for it, Knuckles would have caught it in his huge grubby fists. Sonic knew the look in the guardian's eye: that possessive look.
A look that broke into disappointment when Sonic caught the bun with his chompers a metre above the ground. It gave the hedgehog a wonderful view of victory.
Seeing the sadness creep up to Knuckles' face, the reporter approached him again, eyes and teeth wide for compassion to soothe his tones. "Security's got seedless grapes in the monitor room. What do you say?"
Sonic strode to the echidna from behind and patted him on the head, causing a small growl. "He agrees."
"Capital stuff. I'll hook you up for next month, Sonic."
The reporter took Knuckles' hand before pulling out a golden security card for a touch by the lock, which forced the door to rise open.
Sonic's guards didn't enjoy the idea of a reporter treating the military installation like a guest house. "Hey, wait! A3 said no funny stuff!" one of them yelled.
The man didn't react and simply ushered Knuckles into the structure.
"I have a gun!"
He grinned back at the loudmouth GUN agent, but didn't address him. Instead, he pointed at the two guards meant to follow Knuckles around. "You two would make GUN prouder than Commander's knickers if you held the door open for our star."
Amazingly, the two obeyed by putting their hands up on the frame. They held it steady despite an obvious struggle to support the weight.
The newsman smiled warmly at them. "That's right, sunshine." He then turned to the hollering agent and pulled his ID out for everyone to see. "See this, whatsitsname? A gold card, courtesy of A1. This is clearance to your exhaust pipe if I feel like it."
His card flopped down when he reached for the inner pocket of his suit to pull out a small thick-barrelled pistol. The reporter spun it around his finger before concealing the gun again. No one dared to question how a civilian smuggled weaponry into a GUN site.
"I have one, too. It's better than yours."
"But A3 said…"
Due to all the commotion, the reporter was getting behind schedule, so he glanced at the agent standing far behind and yelled: "Hey, Alfie!"
A3 reacted with a thumbs up. Sonic's guards had no objections in response, allowing him to withdraw into the building along with Knuckles' entourage.
The door clanked so loudly it shook Sonic's hopes down even further. He knew Knuckles wouldn't be alone out there thanks to the communicator he secretly passed to the guardian. There was nothing scary about a newspaper interview, but Sonic had a very bad feeling about what he did, so bad he could barely swallow the hot dog that tasted so good.
A1 watched the action unfold with bated breath. The heroes were separated and Eggman bailed on his troops turned scrap. Soon, GUN would be ready to present their victory to the world.