Since Jessica's departure, Lavi had been spending his time reflecting and writing. Bookman wasn't there to keep him occupied with work, so he was utterly alone. Of course he would spend time with Lenalee, sometimes Kanda, but at the end of the day, neither one of them could fill the gap that had formed in his heart. He didn't blame her for the way things had turned out, he was the one who led her to the only conclusion she thought possible. This was his fault; he was the one who needed to fix things. The only problem was that he didn't know how he was supposed to fix it.

Lavi had written her letter, a letter that he had planned on giving to her as soon as she got back. However, he had changed his mind. It was a letter that told her everything that she needed to know about him, about his feelings, everything that made him up. This letter meant a lot to him, and he realized that some words on paper weren't going to fix the things that he had broken.

That letter….that would be the letter he would give her the night before she disappeared.

Lavi remembered the night that she came back, how after a week of not seeing her, he felt excited but also scared. He gave her a hug, smiled, and made sure she was okay, but they weren't the same. That night he had wandered to the library in hopes of being able to drown himself into the many books that sat on the shelves. It took him aback when her saw her sitting there, standing as soon as he entered the room. During those next few hours, they cried and laughed out of joy and out sadness. Both learned that love is not something you can convince yourself to fall into or out of, it was something irrational and the reason humans to do it, the reason human's still love is because while hate is just as powerful, love is the best thing human's do.

~…~

Things were just too weird between the two of them. Jessica couldn't look him in the eye, he couldn't touch her. Lavi blamed himself for the turn of events, if he hadn't taken out his own insecurities on her, then maybe he would still have her.

However in the week that Jessica had been away, Lavi started to realize that there were a lot of problems that contributed to the end of their relationship. Jessica did have a point on saying that their Bookman duties would eventually get in the way, but there was also the fact that they weren't even in a relationship. They had never figured out the dynamics of what they were, leaving them in strange place. As far as Lavi was concerned, neither one of them had ever had something this intimate before, so they were both treading on new ground. Also contributing to their current issues was that even though they talked roughly every day and worked together, they didn't really know each other. He knew nothing of Jessica's life before she chose the path of the Bookman; he didn't know her favorite color, her favorite book, all of those things just slipped away from them. They were so eager to jump in that they had forgotten to learn about each other. Overall, it was a mixture of their duties and a lack of communication that led to the shocking conclusion of no longer being together.

They were both at fault for these turn of events, a fact that Lavi could accept.

He still loved Jessica, but he was longer focused on getting her back. His goal right now was to learn more about her.

Well he thought it was something he was capable of, until he saw her, once she returned from Prussia. Seeing her in all her beauty, watching her walk towards him with a smile on her face, her thin arms wrapping around his shoulders in a tight hug, it was something that hurt him. She was acting like nothing had ever happened to begin with, leaving the young bookman to wallow in his heartbreak.

When he went to the library that night, it was in hopes that maybe he could swallow himself so deep in a book that he would forget anything had ever happened. He walked through the door, his hopes high as he smelled the familiar stench of the parchment penetrated his nose, only to find himself face to face with her golden eyes. She looked just as beautiful as always, her long blonde hair perfectly flowing down her elegant body, she was wearing a cute short sleeved pink dress, the hem ending at her knees, a thin white jacket used to keep her warm in the cold room.

At first, he tried to walk away, but her tiny hand grabbed him by the wrist pulling him back to face her.

"Lavi, I really need to talk to you." Her voice sounded desperate, her hand shaking.

"Jessica, I don't think that's a good idea right now." Lavi tried to remain calm, but hearing that she wanted to talk to him was more than enough to make his heart flutter.

"Please…I know that I just got back, but I feel like things didn't go well. I thought I was being smart ending things and then running off, but I only felt guilty. Please, can we please go to my room to talk?" her eyes pleading.

Lavi licked his lips, hesitant to agree.

"Okay, we can talk." This was the chance he was looking for, the chance to be able to talk to her, to learn about her.

The girl smiled, and walked past him, her grip on his wrist never receded, as she coolly guided him through the halls towards her room. The way she walked, how she walked with so much confidence, it was sexy to him. He wished he could have that kind of confidence with her, he wished that he could have her.

Once they reached her room, she opened her door and walked in, her grip still firm. Lavi, with is free hand shut the door behind him, and turned back around to face the girl.

"Now what did you-" before he could even finish is sentence, she hungrily pressed her lips to his, arms wrapping around his neck using her weight to make him lean more into the kiss. He moved his hands to her shoulders, gently trying to push her away. But the feeling of her full lips against his, the sweetness of her breath, it only dragged him back down.

He moved one arm down to wrap against her thin waist, the other hand gripped the back of her head, his fingers tangling the soft blond locks. They pulled apart, looking into each other's eyes, trying to comprehend what they were doing. But they didn't want to think about it, they just wanted to act. Lavi leaned in again, leaving the girl little time to react as he slid his tongue into her mouth, his entry welcomed with a deep moan as the girl traced her tongue along his.

Jessica's pulled at the bottom of his shirt, wanting to remove the material from his fit body. In that moment, Lavi wanted nothing more than to give himself to her, but he remembered how much he hurt when she left, how he felt like he was going to suffocate. No, this wasn't right; she was the one who didn't want to do this anymore.

Lavi pulled away from the kiss and gently pushed her back, her eyes half-lidded with desire.

"We shouldn't be doing this." He hated that the words had to come out his mouth, but he knew that it needed to be said.

"I know, but the whole time I was away all I could think about was you. I missed you so much." Her eyes started to well up.

Lavi stared at the girl in shock, "Then why did you want to stop?"

"I didn't want to stop Lavi! What you want and what needs to be done are not always the same thing." Her voice cracked as tears started to slide down her rosy cheeks.

"I tried to act like I didn't care about you, that I could be without you but I can't. Lavi, I need you."

He didn't know what to say, but he was surprised to find his heart calm.

"Jessica, do you want to continue this?"

"Yes…no…I don't know."

"Stop it. Jessica, it's either a yes or a no. I know it's hard, especially since there are so many things working against us. I need to know…do you want to be with me?"

"Like, be your girlfriend?"

"Kind of, I'm asking you that if I wanted to make a commitment to you, would you be okay with that? Would you be willing to roll with me through the thick and the thin? No matter how scared you get, could you stay with me?" Jessica looked down at the ground, the tears streaming down her face.

"I want to have something with you Lavi, but I'm scared. I've been in love before Lavi and it didn't end well. I'm scared that what happened with that will only happen with you."

"You've been in love before?"

"Yes…"

"See this is another problem!"

"That I've been in love before?"

"No, it's the fact that I barely know anything about you. How are you and I supposed to be something when we don't even know who we are talking to? I want to know everything about you Jessica, I want to hear all about your broken heart, I want to know what your favorite color, and your favorite foods are. I want to know your favorite book, what you like to do in your free time, and I want to know who you are, not just who Jessica is. How can I even think of loving someone who I don't even know?"

Jessica looked down at the ground, sniffling. Lavi rubbed the back of his head and sighed, "I think I should go."

Right when he was about to grab the handle, Jessica hugged him from behind.

"His name was Geoffrey. My alias at the time was Genevieve; I was in charge of watching a small village rebel against the richer, more fortunate families, demanding equality. Geoffrey was a leader in the rebellion, a person who I befriended for the sake of getting information. Long story short, I fell in love with him and he was executed. My master and I left not long afterwards and ever since then I have found myself scared not of loving, but of losing the ones that I love."

Lavi dropped his head and slowly turned to face, prying her trembling hands from his waist. He put his forehead against hers, "I'm sorry that happened to you. How old were you?"

"I was fourteen, he was seventeen."

"So this as right before you came here?"

"No, there were a couple recordings in-between."

He swallowed and pressed his lips to her forehead, the pressure of his lips helped relax the girl a bit.

"As for everything else, my favorite color is black, I really like beef stew but potatoes are definitely my favorite, my favorite book is always changing but right now I'm really into Wuthering Heights by Emilie Bronte, and I what I do in my free time is be with you."

Lavi smiled, she was such a smart ass sometimes.

"What you said you wanted to know all, of those things."

"I did say that, didn't I?"

She gave him a small nod, giving him a small smile.

"Oh, there is one thing that I forgot to mention though."

"And what is that?"

"My real name."

"You're real name?" he pulled his head back; he was perplexed by the girls statement.

"Yes my real name, the one my parents gave me."

He felt his pulse start to race again; he could feel the air in his lungs contracting.

"What is your real name?" he spoke in a hushed voice, his face slowly leaning closer towards hers.

"My real…name…is…" she kept dragging on, trying to tease him. His lips getting closer to hers with each second that passed them by.

"Charlotte."

The name just slipped off her tongue, making Lavi shudder slightly, her voice was so sweet, so pure.

His lips brushed up against hers sweetly, the contact soft and gentle. It reminded him of when they kissed down in the town square. There was no urgency, no lust, it was just simple.

"Jessica…I really want you right now." Her cold hands rested on the side of his neck.

"I know."

"Can I have you?" his lips sliding gently down the side of her neck.

"No…" she whispered, almost completely out of breath.

Lavi's lips captured hers again, so warm that it reminded Lavi of a warm summer day. He wanted nothing more than to get lost into her, but she had never answered his question.

With all of this strength he pulled away from her sweet lips, trying to ignore her moans of disapproval.

"Do you want this with me? Do you believe that at some point in the future, you could commit to me if I asked?" his lungs felt empty, his heart threatening to burst.

"I do."

He switched their positions, forcing her back to the door, his body pressed up against hers.

She said that she could, that she would if he asked her.

Despite earlier in the day when Lavi found himself lost and alone, it turned out that he wasn't the only one. He was so wrapped up in himself that he stopped to think that what Jessica wanted and what Jessica felt she had to do were two opposite things. He realized that sometimes in life you had to make tough decisions, even if you don't want to make them. That was a burden that he had left Jessica to take on all by herself.

No matter how much Jessica had tried to pretend that she and Lavi weren't anything special, he mind and the heart were two separate things. Sometimes it felt like it was all connected, but Jessica knew that she loved Lavi. With that kiss they both learned that no matter how much you tried to, if you loved something, you would never let it go, not completely. It was a truth that as time went on the heart would heal, but that love would always remain, a ghost reminding you what could have been.

When Lavi pulled away, with her small voice he heard her speak the words of an angel.

"I love you."

Lavi felt his heart stop, time stood still, and in that moment nothing could break him away from the spell that she had casted on him.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled wrapped her up in his body, in his soul, hoping that she could feel his happiness.

"I love you too."

He choked on his words, tears threatening to fall from his exposed eye.

He never thought someone could ever love him. He never thought he could love someone so much.

Drunk on adrenaline and love, the two kissed again and again and again. Their hearts finally reconnected.

They loved each other and that was all that mattered to the both of them at that exact moment in time.

Lavi smiled, he wanted to spend every second with this girl.

He kissed her more and more till finally their lips went numb, leaving the two of them shaking and panting.

Nothing in this world could stop them now, not even Bookman.