Hello my precious.. Lol justtt kidding :] Sorry about the non-updating, computer turned off and never turned back on soooo yeah :/ and I bet you loved her being engaged huh? XD I know, I'm mean. Anyways, I'm gunna get on to the important things!

~~April 3

"Because, Paul, I'm engaged to him."

I close my eyes at her words, my subconcious alowing me to finally know for sure what I wouldn't let myself believe. I stay motionless and she does as well for the longest time. I let my head start tilting down to where I'm certain that I'm looking at her hands. I open my eyes and search for the courage to either: a. walk away from her and let her live on and be happy with this nameless man, b. get angry at her and make her feel terrible for not being truthful, or c. be honest with her and confess my real true feelings about her and let her know that she can be happy with me.

I open my mouth to speak my decision. I'm not really sure how long I sat with my mouth hanging open looking like an utter idiot trying to find the words until these spilled out.

"I can tell you now, Shiloh, I think it's really impossible for me to ever get mad at you and I'd never hurt you not only because I could never hit a woman but also because you're my imprint. I could leave you alone if you want me to because I want you to be happy. I don't want to stand in the way of your love. I'm not even going to ask to meet him since I'm sure it would be hard on you or make things complicated."

I stop talking to look up and register her feelings only to find her looking to her hands as I was doing. I reach to her face and under her chin to tilt it so I can see her emotions. She reluctantly allowed me to do so and I immediately regretted it. Her expression broke my heart. She had been crying and she had the eyes of a puppy looking up to my face and all I wanted to do was hold her tight and tell her everything was okay.

"Please, just please do it," she said, her voice was cracking. I'm not sure if it was because she asked me to do it or if it was because I was about to combust at the force the imprint was pushing me to touch her and hold her. Maybe it's because I felt like total shit for making this beautiful angel feel guilty and cry over me, but I turned her so that I was holding her like a child and she placed her arms around my neck as she began to cry. We sat there just holding each other in comfort as I rocked her to ease her tears. I've been close to girls physically like this but the feel of it was so different... I could never explain the feelings stirring in me but I know that no person has made me feel like this at all. No woman has given me these... these butterflies and made me feel this hurt.

I thought for a moment that maybe it was just the imprint, but I had this small thing inside of me telling me that it was something more... And then a memory was brought on to me. A memory of my mother, of me holding her after one of my father's fits and he had hurt her. I was holding her to comfort her and trying to let her know that I loved her and I didn't want to let anything hurt her...

I stop rocking her when I realise that her sobs had seised. Her arms had droopped to rest on my inner elbow and her breathing was slow and relaxed. She had fallen asleep. I kept holding her, trying to understand why the moment sparked the distant memory.

She stirred in my arms and came to relax so that I could see her face, half-covered by her tangled, dark hair and still tear-stained. This image brought on a strong emotion of protection and... and love. That's what it is, I love her... I don't know why I hadn't seen it earlier!

I take a hand up to brush her hair from her face and the urge to hold her closer washed over me but it wasn't because she was sexy, it's not because I'm a pervert, even if I am though I would never push that upon her. It's because I loved her and I wanted to be able to tell her how I felt without saying it...

I need to tell her. I have to speak the words to her so she knows that I'm here for her and that I would do anything for her just so that she can be happy. I'd give her up so she can be with him even if the imprint pull would kill me. I'll even leave her completely if she needs it, I just need to let her know that I love her.

"I love you, Shiloh," I almost coo lowly at her sleeping face. I swear I see her smile slightly at it.

I look out to the sunset and think of my mother, hoping that she knew how much I loved her...

"I love you... Paul..." I hear a quiet angel's voice say, looking down to her face. She was still asleep but slightly smiling though her brow showed concern and confusion.