Stephenie Meyer owns all TWILIGHT characters. The names "American Ballet Theatre" and "ABT" are registered trademarks of Ballet Theatre Foundation, Inc.

Though I've done as much research as possible regarding the ballet world, please know that I have taken some liberties for the purpose of entertainment.

CHAPTER TEN
MYSELF

"When I give, I give myself."
~ Walt Whitman ~

One non-date became two dinners in as many nights. Two nights became four non-dates over a weekend, including a lunch near Union Square, where they had shared dumplings and noodles before they separated – Edward to New York City Center for a photo shoot and Bella back to her apartment.

Bella tried not to think about the level of comfort she found with Edward. It bordered on the thin line between friendship and, well, something more. The conversation between them ranged from their training to the latest movie to places Bella wanted to see while in the city. His fingers on her skin were electric any time he touched her. She felt like she was going crazy.

The vibration of her phone jarred her away from her thoughts and back into reality where she was standing on a street corner like a lost tourist. She answered the call as she scurried across the street, ignoring the fact that the blinking orange hand was now completely solid.

"Hello?"

"Bells, where've you been? I haven't heard from you in ages!"

Jake's voice seemed almost foreign. A smile broke out on her face. "Jake! I'm sorry. I've been so busy. I can talk for now."

"Yeah? For now, huh? Am I not important enough otherwise?" His voice was teasing. "How's the city?"

"Okay," she answered. "When are you visiting?"

"Couple of weeks if I can swing a last-minute plane ticket. Why? What's wrong?" he asked, picking up on the hesitancy in her voice.

"I need your help," Bella blurted out. She slapped the palm of her hand to her forehead.

"With?"

"There's a guy…"

"There always is, Bells. Who is he?"

"A dancer."

"Yeah and…" Jake trailed off.

"I think I really like him," she admitted. Instinctively, Bella glanced around her as though the conversation was interesting enough for someone to listen. She crossed another street and entered the park, scanning the benches for an empty spot.

"Does he like you?"

"I think?"

"What's there to think about? If he's not into you, you gotta ask yourself if he's worth it."

Bella let out a sigh. "He's worth it," she insisted. "I just don't know what to do."

"About?"

"He doesn't date."

There was a pause before Jake asked incredulously, "At all?"

"No, of course not!" Bella was almost blown away at the idea. "He doesn't like dating company members or… Is it dancers in general? But then I haven't really heard about him dating anyone else, so I mean –"

"You're babbling," Jake interrupted her. "Look, I don't know the details but… Bells, just go for it. Tell him you like him. Tell him you want a date. Tell him something so he knows where your head is. I'm assuming you've been hanging out with him and haven't done anything more than the friendly touch? It's how you always act around guys you like."

"What? It is not!" she tried to argue as she walked up to her building and unlocked the front door. The phone crackled a bit as she walked up the two flights of stairs.

Jake's laugh was loud, though. "Are you kidding me? Bells, any time you like someone, you try to get into their mind by being the awesome friend that's there. By the time you make a move, the guy's permanently placed you in the 'perfect friend' category and you miss your chance."

Bella paused and thought about what he said. There weren't many boyfriends in her past but there were a few crushes. Some of them weren't meant to be because of the guy's, well, preference, but other times, she realized that what Jake said was true – she almost always tried to be a friend before a girlfriend.

"Crap," she said in a low whisper as she pushed open the door to her apartment. "You're right. That's totally me." She huffed. "I don't want to do that this time!"

"Do what?" Leah asked from the small sitting area. Bella shrieked a little bit since she didn't know anyone was home. She was paging through a book but looked up when Bella didn't answer, her eyes narrowing in on the take-out bag in her hand. "Republic, huh? Out with Edward Cullen again? It's one of his favorite places."

With a frown, Bella spoke into her phone. "Jake, I'll call you later, okay?"

"I might be waiting," he answered with another chuckle. "Bye, Bells. Be good."

Once she hung up, Bella fiddled with the phone, unsure of what to say to Leah. Luckily, she didn't have to figure it out since Leah spoke first. "So the rumor mill says you're dating one of the most renowned dancers in the world. What do you think it is that makes you so different from all the other girls who've tried to get into his bed?"

Anger shot quickly through Bella before she pushed it down and looked at Leah blandly. Before she could answer, Angela shuffled into the room, her eyes rolling at Leah. "You're so rude sometimes." She turned to Bella and tried a little more tact. "Look, I'm sure you're aware that Edward's stupid rule is, simply put, legendary to anyone who knows him or has worked with him in some way. So the fact that you're dating him is a bit…"

"Shocking," Leah finished. She shrugged. "Sorry. I didn't realize how crass I sounded."

"I'm not dating him," Bella said. "We've done dinner and lunch a few times but… There's no dating."

"Does he pay?" Leah asked bluntly. After seeing Bella's nod, she shook her head. "That's a date."

"No!" Bella shook her head adamantly. "He's… He's a complete gentleman."

"Date," Leah repeated.

"Who has more money than I do," Bella continued.

"Date," Leah said again.

"And who knows that I'm struggling a bit on finances."

Angela grabbed Bella's shoulders. "Bella. I'm pretty sure he's been taking you out. On dates."

"You're both crazy." Bella paused and paled slightly. "You said 'the rumor mill' earlier. Does everyone think this?"

"Who cares?" Leah waved a hand flippantly. She half-stood from the couch and dragged Bella down next to her. "Dish on what happens. I think he's a pompous asshole but you've gotta tell me if he's as flexible in bed as he is on stage."

Bella's eyes widened. "Oh my God, I wouldn't know!" she screeched out. The other two laughed and Bella suddenly felt a headache coming on.

Two days later, a similar headache throbbed at the back of her head as she stood in a rehearsal studio with the five other girls. Lauren and Irina kept glancing between her and Edward, their eyes glittering with a curiosity to know if the rumors were true. Besides that, Edward had just stunned them all with the announcement that they would be learning the Dance of the Little Swans for the fall season. Leah had shot a smirk at Bella, no doubt trying to connect the title of the piece to Bella's last name.

"Four corps members have graciously given up their time for the next two days to help teach the dance," Edward was saying. Bella focused on his voice even as four svelte girls of almost-equal height walked in. "Although a few of you are not the correct height, I want everyone to learn the choreography. Depending on what else is being performed throughout the season, I'll be rotating dancers for every night. Let's begin."

He clapped his hands loudly. It was a sound that immediately made Bella straighten up, a reminder of her early days when she first started dancing and the clap meant shape up or you're wasting my time. She refused to lose concentration as Edward worked through the choreography, the corps girls helping with the intricate positions that needed to be synchronized with everyone else.

There was a look in Edward's eyes as he watched the ten ladies in the room. When Bella glanced over at him, she recognized the determination and will. He wouldn't accept anything less than perfection when it came to the dance.

It made her a bit nervous.

It made her want to shine.

On the third day, when the corps members returned to their own rehearsals, Edward had them rehearsing in different groupings. Bella was the farthest to the left during this particular run, the swan that would be the most upstage. The setting sun kept glinting off the pristine windows of the room and Bella kept shaking her head when the light hit her eyes.

"Isabella, focus," Edward said in a near-snap. Her head shot forward and she was about to open her mouth to apologize to the other girls and to Edward, but he stepped in front of her. He palmed her left hip; she pretended it didn't feel like a caress. "Watch the weight on this side during the pas de chats. You've been favoring the left though I can't figure out what's wrong. I need you to even out your strengths or you'll look lost next to the others."

Bella nodded, visualizing her own body from previous runs.

"Once you can do that, the steps will flow better. I need four swans to move as one."

She nodded again, letting out a breath when Edward stepped away from her. He walked to the sound system to begin the rehearsal recording while Bella continued to feel the burning heat of his hand through her leotard.

Thank you to oOza for her beta work and artisticwonder for pre-reading.