Nice long chapter for yah :D

Raphael was leaning up alongside the wall that my bed was pushed up against. Michelangelo was lying on his plastron with his feet in the air like an adolescent, enjoy his flick.

Raph had kept hogging the covers from Mikey saying that he wanted to go to sleep (which I can't see being possible considering him and I just woke up a few hours ago) but he said he was tired anyway. As a result, he had fallen asleep just a few moments ago after losing the battle with the blankets. Apparently Tombstone was making him fall asleep.

While the two of them stayed on the bed and chilled, Don and I went off over into the corner of my room where I did most of my meditation. There was a small room divider that kept us separated from them and a small mat on the ground made of bamboo and straw. Normally this place was the escape from my brothers, but now I share it with my brothers to escape my Sensei.

"So what happened?" Once he got comfortable on the ground, Don asked the very question I knew he would. He never really was the outspoken one of the brothers but he sure was the most nosey, besides Mikey. I guess that's a scientist thing or something I don't know.

"What happened where?" I tried to belabor his question.

"Don't play dumb with me. You know what I'm talking about." He looked serious and in a very complicated mood that I couldn't quite explain with words.

"Nothing happened, Don." I really didn't feel like talking about this right now, not with all the Splinter stuff going on. What happened at the bar was the last thing on my mind.

Don, growing frustrated, scooted himself closer to me until our arms touched. I remembered myself doing the exact same thing to Raphael, and then remembered what the result of it was. Only this time, I didn't get that strange feeling in my body when Don's arms were close to mine like I had with Raphie…I mean Raph. I didn't move away in fear that he would be insulted, so I stiffened my muscles a bit to maybe hint to him that I was uncomfortable. He didn't move though, he just glared those huge, dark brown eyes up into mine and tried to get me to talk.

I sighed, defeated.

"Well…" I began. He scooted closer and nodded his head to tell me he was listening.

"We were supposed to go on circuit but he took me down to this bar instead." A sudden flush of excitement went over my stomach as I remembered everything from that night; the feeling, the touching, the embarrassment. "It was a place for rejects or something of that sort. No one was bothered by our presence because they were different from the "normal" humans in some way, just like us. It was…amazing…to feel like I was actually accepted." I smiled and started to pick at the bamboo in the mat.

"Yeah?" He urged me to continue.

"We met the bartender, Tippy. He and Raph tried to get me to drink alcohol but I refused all of it. I was just afraid that I would get carried away and do something stupid." I sighed yet again. "So anyway, I asked for water and instead Tippy gave me really strong vodka, or at least that's what Raph said." I scratched my throat where I could still feel the discomfort from the liquid sliding down it. I looked at Don to make sure he was still following. He was.

"Then I just watched Raph do what Raph apparently does best. He was dancing with everyone and I couldn't believe how popular he was among them. They all practically worshipped him." I made my tone a bit stricter to let Donnie know that I didn't like that part as much. "I hate to say I felt jealous, but I did. Whenever someone touched him I wanted to pull out my Katana and slice their hands off."

"That's so sweet." Don smiled up at me and cocked his head back and forth. I trusted his instincts of it being sweet since he knew better than I did.

"Yeah, and then the place was closing up and I had to get a room because…well I told you why. We slept for a little bit but when Raph woke up…it was a completely different him." That was both a good and bad situation. I could tell Don didn't understand which one it was by the way he lifted a brow line, making one eye bigger than the other.

"What did he do?"

"He was…on me. He would grab and touch my body and just…" I reached out and grabbed Donnie's arms and showed him a sample of what Raph had done. "More than that but you get the idea."

"So…it was him not you who was pursuing the other? Was he drunk or something?"

"I asked myself the same question but no, he was completely sober. He sounded as normal as he ever did." I shook my head and sighed. "Did you know he was…?"

"No. I had no idea. Did you ask him about it?"

"Yah, he said he turned right around the time you did. Whether it was before or after you, I don't know. He said that bar was his escape, which explains why he's loved there by everyone and why he was able to hide it from us all these years."

I looked at Don who was focused on the unlit candle across the room. He looked almost disappointed to hear what I was saying to him.

"What about Mikey?" I asked to maybe change the subject.

"I was never into him, Leo. He's too…"

"Yeah I know." I laughed softly. "You don't have to explain."

"Yah…" He went silent. Rule number one about knowing Donatello, if he randomly goes quiet, there's a 100% chance that something is on his mind. I let it go for a few minutes to see if he would say it on his own, but he didn't.

"Is something wrong?" I asked while giving him a nudge to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep.

"Yah…I just feel lonely."

Normally I would have said; "well I'm right here next to you," but I knew what he meant. He was seeking a companion. I hadn't really come up with a game plan regarding what to do if Donnie turned to me for love (which I was still debating on him and Raph by the way). I didn't expect him to have any interest in Mikey so I should've known this would happen. The question was; was he into me…or Raphael now that he knows he's…

"It's weird. I like you but I don't like you."

I guess it was me then.

"That is weird." I agreed but with a bit of attitude on the side. He looked up at me and frowned scornfully.

"Part of me wants something more but the other part wants you to be my big brother and my best friend and my leader."

I didn't want to admit it but I felt the same way. I couldn't see myself being with Donatello now that we had established this close bond with each other. Plus, Raphael drove some part of me wild that Donatello couldn't seem to touch.

"I think it's best if we stay close. I need you as support and you need me as support and we can't do that if we're all over each other." I sounded strong for him.

I had other ideas that I didn't tell him. If we started being a couple then I was afraid he might start seeing me as being on the same level with him. I was his leader and had authority over Donnie in a way I knew he understood, but could possibly forget. I wouldn't want to lose that by being in a relationship. On the other hand, it's oddly ok with me wanting to be with Raphael because he already thinks he's better than me anyway.

"I think you're right…PHEW!" Don smiled brightly and moved away from me. "I feel so much better now that that's cleared up." He came back over and hugged me tightly. His Bo-staff breezed across my face as he leaned in so I awkwardly had to move my head closer to him to avoid it.

"Sorry." He laughed and pulled away. "Things got a mind of its own." He pushed it back into place.

"I know the feeling. My weapons decided to jump into Splinter's hands today." I smiled and let Don enjoy the fact that I had lost my beloved Katana.

"I could make you a new set if you want?" He offered.

"No, I'm too attached to the old ones. Thanks anyway, Don. Hopefully I can get them back soon."

He blew air out his nose, making a snorting sound. "With the way Splinter let out on you guys, I don't think you will be seeing your swords anytime soon. Maybe in your dreams but that's about it." He giggled.

"Thanks for raining on my parade."

"Oh Leo, I'm sorry." He stopped laughing and frowned. "Hey, I offered."

"Offered what?"

Don and I snapped our heads towards the divider where Raphael was standing, looking suspicious.

"What's goin on back here, eh?"

"That's none of your business, Raph." It sounded meaner then I meant it to be. He drew his head back and rolled his eyes.

"We're talking about you and Leo."

Never had I wanted to strangle one of my brothers as much as I did in that moment. I looked at Don and widened my eyes to tell him to shut up. He looked at me, acknowledged my looks, and continued talking about last night until I had to jump over to him and shut his mouth myself. He was usually good at keeping secrets so what was his problem today?

"You talkin about last night?" He grinned and chuckled deeply, making my grip on Donnie oddly loosen. "It's nothin to be embarrassed about, Leo." He looked insulted. "I don't care if Don knows but if yah EVER tell Mikey…"

"Michelangelo…" I lowered my voice that told them to lower theirs too. "…will not find out about any of this. That goes to the both of you." I pointed at them, my hand still over Donatello's mouth. "We need his innocence intact. It's all we have."

"What? You don't have yours, Leo?" Raph smirked.

"hot affer hast hight." Don mumbled through my hand.

"Nothing happened last night." I forced his shell flat against the ground and put my body overtop of his. He tucked his head close to his shoulders and provided me bright, innocent eyes. I didn't need him playing matchmaker.

"Don't lie to the guy."

"Raph!" I shot a look at him now and pressed my teeth together tightly to keep from yelling at him.

I felt like I was being boxed in by the truth and yet being set free by a lie. The truth was that something climatic did happen last night but it wasn't climatic enough to be bragging about. Then again, had I not walked out of that bar room when I did, something bad might have happened.

Don managed to pull my hand away from his mouth and speak. "Maybe he needs a refresher." He lifted his brow line and grinned in the way that only he could, his dimples sticking out like fire in the snow.

"What is with you, Donatello? This isn't like you." I turned on a more serious note.

"Just having fun, Leo. All this Splinter stuff is making me loopy I guess." He frowned.

"It's makin all of us loopy, Don." Raph looked back into the room. "Mike fell asleep. Now we can watch somethin more on my level." He disappeared behind the divider.

"Just relax ok?" I rubbed the top of his olive skinned head. "I know it's hard with Splinter right now but I'll help us get through it. I promise. Just try and take your mind off everything for now, even though it's hard for you." I stood up and offered him a hand. He took it and slowly rose next to me.

"You're a good leader whether you know it or not." He smiled gently and walked out into the bedroom.

I wished I could have agreed with him, I really wish I could have. Leaders don't allow their brothers to fall in love with each other. Leaders don't fall in love with their brothers and disobey their Sensei, monsters do.

Thanks for all the reviews! I'm starting to fall behind with my stories because I have a lot going on. I'm getting a job, getting ready for Prom and yadda yadda. I'm going to take maybe 3 days to get as many chapters written as I can and then I'll start uploading again. Trying to do 2 stories at one time was NOT a good idea on my part. NEVER DO IT.