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After a few minutes Rachel's sobs subsided, but her breath came in quick gasps, punctuated by hiccups. She dragged her body miserably to the bathroom adjoining her bedroom, and washed her face and brushed her teeth, all the while continuing to glare hatefully at her reflection. She had only just crawled, still fully clothed, back into bed when she heard a knock on the door downstairs. Her bedroom door was cracked open, which was just sufficient for her to overhear and recognize Puck's voice when he greeted her father.
Rachel pulled the blankets up to her chin and tried to hold her breath to calm the sharp staccato hiccups that kept erupting from her diaphragm. She listened intently, but could only barely make out her name and the words "upstairs" and "sick." Her curiosity could not overpower the overwhelming misery that consumed her entire building. She curled her body into a fetal position, pulling the blankets over her head and closing her eyes unnaturally tight.
Only about ten minutes later was her wallowing in self-pity interrupted by the sound of steady footsteps coming up the stairs. "It's only Daddy," Rachel thought, scolding her racing heart.
Moments later her door hinges creaked as they were pushed further open, and Rachel struggled to breath regularly. She didn't move at all. If it was her father, he would think she was asleep, and hopefully leave her be.
Rachel felt the bed shift as someone lowered their weigh to sit on it, and felt a hand reach over gently and rest on her hip. She relaxed ever so slightly, as the familiar contact indicated it must be her father sitting on her bed. His hand stayed there for a few moments, rising and falling with her body as she tried to calm her breath.
"Rachel," Noah's voice shocked her alert. Adrenaline coursed through her veins. She knew he felt her body tense, but she stubbornly refused to move, to acknowledge his presence.
"Rach . . it's after 8 a.m. I know you're not still asleep," he continued as if having a conversation with himself, "you probably haven't slept passed 7 a.m. . . ever."
Rachel's shock only increased as she felt his body shift until his head must be laying down on the bed next to hers, and his body laying flat. His weight was angled so she thought he must be on his back, with one leg laying off the bed. At that moment, her body betrayed her as one loud hiccup escaped from her protesting lungs.
Noah chuckled. "C'mon Rach . . .look at me." Her body quaked. His voice was so close, and her body ached from missing him, from wanting to be near him, and wanting everything to be ok.
"Look, Rachel . . ." Noah was not in the least discouraged by Rachel's lack of response. He could tell she was incredibly aware of his presence from her stiff spine and the way her body tensed at his every movement, every word. She was listening intently.
"You know I'm an asshole," Noah continued, "I'm sorry." He paused, giving her a moment to respond. When Rachel said nothing he continued. "I was just being a total douchebag. I . . ." Noah paused again, "Nothing, Rach? You're still not even going to look at me?"
"C'mon . . ." he coaxed, and let his hand which had been laying on her hip, slide up to her waist and squeeze tightly. Rachel squirmed from ticklishness and discomfort, and released her tight hold on the blanket she had tucked over her head just enough that Noah pulled at the covers with his free hand, revealing her head, with her head tucked toward her chest and her hair splayed over her face. He sat up and leaned over her and brushed her hair away from her face, tucking it behind Rachel's left ear, and then brought his chin down over her cheek to under her chin, and directed her face toward his own.
"Rachel. . ." as Rachel's large brown eyes met his they involuntarily filled with tears. "Oh baby," Noah's voice was soft and full of apology, "don't cry . . . I, I'm just, fuck Rach, I'm such, I dunno, y'know, I just fuck everything up." Noah was struggling for words and Rachel couldn't find any at all. Her sheer joy at seeing Noah, being touched by him, her body's reaction to his presence, overwhelmed her bewilderment, and without thought she reached for him, and he pulled her gently toward him until she was cradled in his arms.
The tears couldn't be stopped, and just streamed down her face and she tucked her hear into the crook of his neck. Noah gently rubbed his hand over her back, and Rachel softly cried from frustration and exhaustion and sadness and relief, each emotion washing over her, in turn.
After the tears appeared to subside, Noah leaned his head town toward Rachel's ear, and kissed her gently on the top of the head, and then asked, "we cool, babe?"
Rachel was unsure how to reply. She opened her mouth, but the words, were uncertain and, for once, reluctant to leave her mouth. "I . . .I'm confused."
Noah sighed. He was hoping to be quickly forgiven, but he also knew that Rachel would need to talk about what happened. "C'mon babe, you gonna make me say it?" Noah couldn't help it. These were words that he loathed to say outloud. "I was dumb and jealous, cause you were gonna pick Finn."
"But I didn't" Rachel finally found her tongue. "That's why I'm confused. I didn't pick Finn."
Noah nodded, "That's true," he acknowledged, "But you didn't pick me either. I just heard you tell Finn you didn't know what you wanted, and I dunno. . .maybe you don't but I do."
Rachel turned to look at him quizzically, "You do what?"
Noah's voice was even lower with the power of his admission, "I know exactly what I want."
Rachel was breathless, "Tell me." Noah almost groaned. This girl was half ingénue and half siren. She was playing him with his own desire, getting him to say things to her he could barely admit to himself.
Noah dipped his head even lower until his lips rested with feathery contact against her own, and moved against her mouth as he muttered, "C'mon babe, I think you know." His breath filled her mouth as he spoke and the hint of menthol and tobacco was intoxicating. Rachel pressed her body against his and moved her lips forcefully down over his. Their mouths moved against each other, parting their lips to provide access for their tongues to dance against one another. Her hips aligned with his and her body moved with a will of its own, pressing her groin to his. His hands roamed over her body, cupping her ass and pulling her into even closer contact, before moving up to her waist and stroking the side of her breast, leaving a trail of fire wherever he touched. Rachel wrapped one leg around his hip and used the leverage to pull herself even closer to him, and Noah groaned from the friction.
The knock on her door, which he had, of course, left wide open, caused them to jump apart from instinct. "Ahem," Rachel's father cleared his throat, "Noah . . .I' m pretty sure that is not one of the things I'm paying you for. . . and it Rachel's nearly as sick as she claims to be, it's probably not a good idea either . . . please come downstairs when you're decent" he paused, "both of you."
Chapter 10