Three Hundred and Sixty Five ways to kill a Starfleet Captain…
Authors notes: TOS… In a different time. OOoooaoOO!! –Scary ghost noises-
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After ridding himself of the helpful Yeoman, Kirk found himself decidedly without clothes. He searched his room, but neither a pant nor shirt made itself known. He did manage to scrounge up a robe, which he donned. He left the room sneakily and walked towards the laundry section of his deck.
He managed to make it there without incident, nodding to every cute girl he saw. He cast his patented 'I'm-to-sexy-for-whatever-I'm-wearing' grin and scanned the empty room.
He walked to the nearest refresher and opened it. It was empty. He shrugged, no problem, and went to the next. Also empty. Pouting his lower lip he went to the third and last. Elation struck him when the third yielded clothes. Then he let out a cry when he saw the color.
Red.
Horrible, bright, deadly, red.
He knew that he couldn't walk the ship naked though, and grabbed the one size fits all garment. He slipped into it and quickly glanced around. He heard a noise and dove beneath a nearby table.
"Ensign are you in here?"
Worriedly the captain glanced at his wrists. Bare red cloth screamed up at him. Crap, he was an ensign.
"Why are you under the table?" Kirk glanced up at the blue shirted man he had never seen before. This was odd because he was usually the Captain. "Come on! The Captain has an important mission for you!"
"Uh… I am the Captain."
The blue shirt laughed. "Don't try to get out of it Ensign, I've heard that one before. Come on." He grabbed Kirk and manhandled him from the room.
With horror Kirk realized where they were going. To the transporter room! He began to struggle valiantly, but wasn't used to putting up an un-dramified fight. The blue shirt shoved him into the room and laughed.
"Have fun!"
Kirk glanced at the crewman at the controls. Straightening he glared at the other Ensign. "What exactly is my mission?"
The Ensign shrugged. "You're beaming to this 'planet' as a 'replacement' for some other people who are 'down there'." He smirked.
Kirk frowned, what was with those finger quotes? "Really?" That wouldn't be too bad.
The other man laughed. "Sure. Get on the pad." Diligently Kirk obeyed. Starting up the controls the other man shrugged. "Of course, we haven't been near a planet for two weeks."
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Authors notes: Thanks to Allergic to Paradox for the general idea of this one!