More than a week had passed when I finally started to relax, to get back into my old routine, my old life again. I still had nightmares, but not as many anymore. There were even nights I caught a few hours uninterrupted sleep.
Once most of my injuries had healed I started taking courses in martial arts, Krav Maga, Taekwando, and any self defense class I could find. Not only did it provide a distraction during the times I wasn't studying, in classes or sleeping, it also helped me to sleep better. But most of all, it gave me some illusion of being able to defend myself. It wouldn't help against Kilgrave, I knew that. Still, it eased my mind a little. I wasn't completely helpless anymore, at least once I had a lot more practice and built up some strength.
Krav Maga was especially hard and it didn't help that one of the instructors had made me her personal enemy. I was too weak, too slow, too everything. I tried going to the gym on my time off, tried to put on muscles but only ended up upsetting the few I did have. I got so frustrated that I started debating not going back, to just give up.
Why does one have to learn everything in such a hard way? Wouldn't it be much more fun if things came naturally to you? That would be a great superpower to have, to be able to learn everything without any effort at all. God, I wished I had that ability, not just for physical activities, also for anything I read, watched or heard. But as my last night with Kilgrave had proven, I was completely without abilities, a lowly human, with terrible headaches, apparently.
I'd had quite a few headaches lately, more than usual. The last time it had been this bad was right after coming back from New York, that night I went for a walk because I couldn't sleep. I had to go back to my dorm room because I my head hurt so baldy I could barely see, let alone think. Sure, I'd been hit in the head a few times during my "exercise routine", but the really bad headaches only started after I got back. I should probably get that checked, some time. Not now, though, I certainly didn't have the money to see a doctor merely because of a headache.
Still, I kept an eye out for warning signs, lack of focus or concentration, difficulties learning and retaining new information, but that all worked fine. Better than fine even. I wasn't exactly stupid to begin with, in fact I sometimes even thought of myself as smart. Lately, however, I'd been especially quick when studying. Either the texts were getting easier or I'd just gained a few IQ points. It wasn't even limited to my field of studies. Saturday afternoon at the library I got so bored, having finished all my homework, reading and preparation for all my courses, I started pulling out books at random, trying to occupy my mind with something else. Strangely, they'd made sense. Granted, they were chemistry books and I'd always had had a nag for chemistry, but this was far beyond my high school level knowledge. I got so spooked by my newfound ability to comprehend what had been utter nonsense to me before, that I closed the book, shoved it back into the cupboard, grabbed my stuff and rushed back to my dorm room, spending the rest of the day lounging around and binge-watching cooking shows, eating ramen noodles, instead.
Sunday I went out for a run, trying to clear my head. Usually my body stopped cooperating after around 20 minutes, but today I managed to pace myself, jog for nearly 45 minutes without even breaking a sweat. The only thing I did get was a small headache that went away after a while. My vigorous fitness routine was finally showing some results, I even managed to go to the gym afterwards and lift some weights.
Given that I had done something healthy all morning I decided to spend my afternoon with some cookies and a marathon of a great British baking show. I felt almost happy, normal even, sitting there, a cookie in one hand, a cup of tea in the other, watching lovely people baking amazing creations.