Chapter 10 First Day of School

September dawned clear and sunny as the morning of the first day of school rolled around. Peyton was feeling a little emotional, and was surprised at the sensation. She knew she and the crew had done everything they could to get William ready for his first day of school ever- although he was surrounded by children at the Center, he had never really interacted with them in a positive way, and since he had arrived in Tree Hill, he had only been around family.

The good news was that Peyton was able to enroll him in the same school Jamie attended, though there was no guarantee they would be in the same class. And he and Jamie had been attached at the hip, especially since William reached another breakthrough and was able to sleep in his own bed an entire night, allowing the start of the infamous sleepovers.

Peyton no longer had one son, she either had 2 kids or none, as Jamie either spent the night at the Sawyer household or William spent the night at the Scott household. Jamie took it upon himself to catch William up to be ready for Kindergarten, so they constantly played school, working on their numbers, letters, and colors, practicing reading and writing, and taking breaks for 'lunch and recess.' Haley got them a mini chalkboard, and Peyton scored a tiny bell that they got a kick out of ringing to signal the change of 'classes.'

Jamie and Wills had even picked out their own 'matching' outfits for the first day of school- Jamie in a red polo with jean shorts and his red and black Air Jordan's, Wills in a blue polo shirt with jean shorts and his blue converse.

Peyton organized a meeting with the principal and teachers explaining William's situation, not knowing how he would react in the unfamiliar environment and wanting the teachers to be prepared in the event of an emotional shut down. She gave them her number with the understanding that she was available anytime if they needed her to sit in class with him to help him adjust or to take him home for the day, and the emergency contact list was a mile long, since most of the crew was available at a moment's notice.

Peyton drove over to Haley's house, Brooke and Bella in tow ready to take pictures and provide support for "Mini-Sawyer's first day at school." Almost 11 months, Bella was now a walking terror, and as soon as she was set on the floor of the Scott house, she toddled off, pausing to pat her reflection in the floor length mirror that rested in one of the hallways. At the end of the day, every time Bella came to the house, Haley would find dozens of finger smudges on the mirror the height of the toddler, erasing all doubt as to whose daughter Bella truly was. William ran immediately up the stairs to Jamie's room, and the two women searched for Haley, finding her in the kitchen.

"How you holding up, Mom, on the first day of school?" Haley said teasingly in greeting, taking in Peyton's overly bright eyes.

"God, I thought I was ready for this! I feel like I'm sending my baby off to war!" She threw herself down into a chair. "I'm just waiting for the call that some 5 year old punk has bullied my kid and sent him scurrying off to a closet somewhere, and he hasn't even gotten to school yet."

She laid her head on the counter and Brooke patted her back consolingly. She met Haley's gaze and struggled to hide a grin.

"He'll be fine. Jamie'll be there, and they have your number in case something happens."

"And I won't be able to pick him up after school since I have that stupid meeting with the label directors!" Peyton beat her fists against the counter. "I'm a horrible mother!"

"You're an awesome mother, and that kid's gonna have a great day at school and he'll have a great afternoon at with Jamie and Nathan and me after school." Haley said, wrapping Peyton in a hug. "And when you come over tonight to pick him up we'll toast his wonderful day with pizza and apple juice, a celebratory feast!"

Peyton looked up at Haley and pulled herself together. "You're right. Freak-out moment over. They have my number, he has Jamie, and there are closets and tables all over the school." she said, half in jest.

She looked at Haley. "Tell me you had a breakdown like this when Jamie first went to school."

"Worse," Haley whispered conspiratorially, causing everyone to laugh. They looked up at the sound of feet pounding down the stairs. The boys burst into the room, outfits complimenting each other, with their fresh haircuts and big smiles, followed by Nathan, who carried their bookbags.

"Look at these two all-stars I found upstairs, ready to dominate Kindergarten!" Nathan said. Coming to stand in front of them, he winked at Haley before pulling out their 'first day of school' present- matching blue and red superman baseball caps. "And all-star cousins should have something that sets them apart from the pack!"

"Cool!" William breathed, awed as he reached out and took the cap from Nathan.

"Sweet!" Jamie said, before putting his on excitedly.

"Alright boys, Kodak moment!" Brooke said and dug into her bag for the camera. They placed their arms around each other's shoulders and smiled brightly into the camera. Brooke caught her breath as she glanced at the photo she had just taken. Jamie's hair was shaded dark because of the shadows of his bill, and William's curls, shorter after his haircut, were hidden under his cap, with a little bit of blond peeking through on the sides. Haley glanced over at the picture before commenting.

"Man, that could so be a picture of Nathan and Lucas together when they were 5! Well, if they had actually hung out then." She clarified.

Brooke slapped Haley on the shoulder for her careless words before glancing worriedly at Peyton, expecting to have to comfort the blonde again at the mention of William's eerie resemblance to Lucas. They had done an amazing job of avoiding the elephant in the room all summer, so much so you would have sworn Lucas no longer existed. But Peyton didn't react, only came over to gaze at the picture, a curious look on her face.

"You're right. We ought to send it to Karen and Deb. They ought to get a kick out of that image." Peyton commented casually, moving to exclaim over the hat William was holding up for her to admire.

Brooke, unable to leave well enough alone, had to probe. "Peyton, you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" she asked, honestly confused.

"Well, not to state the obvious, but the entire summer we have been avoiding mentioning 'he who shall not be named' because we knew it was painful for you." Haley remarked, reaching out and grabbing Bella, who had toddled over to the cabinet ready to pull out pots and pans, which was usually okay, but not when they were about to leave.

"It was painful at times to think about Lucas, and it did hurt at first to constantly see him in William. But I don't know. I guess I finally reached the point where I was over it. No sense pining over something I can't have when I was given something better to hold on to, to look forward to; to build a future with." She hugged William tight before releasing him and grabbing his bookbag.

"It's like you said before, Brooke. I lost the man of my dreams, but I gained the son of my dreams. All in all, I'd say it was Lucas who lost out in the end, not me." Peyton said confidently.

"And if I told you that Lucas is coming back to town this week, and will be coaching the Ravens again with Skills this year?" Haley said tentatively.

Peyton turned at the door. "I would say, 'Good for the Ravens.' They might actually have a chance at State this year." She said, not missing a beat as she held the door open for the kids to run to the car.

At the skeptical looks on everyone's face, Peyton sighed. "Look, I know I've said it before without success, but I can be friends with Lucas when he comes back. Things aren't going to be awkward, at least on my side."

"Are you sure?" Nathan spoke up. "'Cause you guys have never been able to be just friends before."

"Yeah, not without the all undercurrents and sexual tension." Brooke added.

"Before, those undercurrents came from the possibility that I always felt was there that we could be something more. That possibility's gone now. My heart's been broken too many times by the same man to ever go down that path again." Peyton said calmly, but seriously. "He told me once, you can't choose who you love. And that may be true. But he's shown me, over and over, that I'm not the one he loves-" she held up a hand as Brooke and Haley went to protest, "-and if he does love me, I am not the one he would choose. But that's okay, because I finally feel the same way about him."

She shrugged. "Even though my heart will always love him, my head would never choose to be with him again, not when he can't love me the way I need or want him to, so I've moved on. All that's left is friendship, and that's okay with me."

Brooke, Haley, and Nathan stared at each other in amazement as Peyton left the house. They didn't quite know what to do with a Peyton that didn't love a Lucas. And they weren't exactly sure how to deal with it. Was it for real or just a front? Was this a good or bad thing? Would it last once she actually saw Lucas again? And how would he react to all of this? One thing was for certain. Lucas was too intertwined in their life for there not to be a ripple in the fabric of their lives with his return. But the only thing they could do was get ready to weather the inevitable storm that would come with Lucas' arrival, wait for the fall-out and be ready to pick up the pieces.

It wasn't until they were standing outside of the school, waving as the two little boys with their superman capes and baseball caps, held hands and walked into the school with their homeroom teacher, that Brooke turned to Nathan, puzzled. "Wait, you're not coaching Raven's this year?"

Nathan grinned and shared a look with Haley. "Well, Haley and I were going to tell you at dinner tonight, but I got offered a spot on a Slamball team, the Slashers. I'll still be helping coach unofficially, but now I'll be playing ball too."

Brooke and Peyton swarmed Nathan, hugging him tightly and screaming congratulations. This was truly a day of new beginnings.

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"Ooooh, I am so mad at that man!" Haley said, slamming down the phone in irritation. Peyton and Brooke were watching Jamie, William and Nathan rock out on Rock Band, with Jamie and William on the guitars and Nathan on the drums. Bella was dancing by the couch, her little legs bending up and down as she clapped her hands to the beat.

"What man?" Peyton said idly. Relieved that William's first day of school passed uneventfuly, and full off of pizza sans mushrooms, Peyton had crashed, both physically and mentally. She didn't even bother to lift her head off the couch.

"Lucas! I have a voice message saying he won't be back until October 1st in time to get ready for midnight madness, when he told me before he'd be back on the first day of school.

"Welcome to the club," Brooke said casually, watching Bella sway to the music.

"What club?" Haley said curiously.

"The "I can't trust a word that comes out of that broody mouth," club. The man always means what he says when he says it, but he's so busy hiding from himself, he doesn't even know he doesn't mean it until he realizes he doesnt mean it."

"I'm confused." Haley said, trying to decipher what Brooke said.

"Don't worry, we've all been there." Peyton said, joining the conversation. "Just try not to think too hard about it, and you'll get past it."

"Wait, are we talking about Lucas or Brooke?" Haley said, frowning.

Peyton thought for a moment. "Yes." She said decisively, nodding her head for emphasis.

Nathan laughed from his position at the drums. "Don't strain yourself Haley. What they're trying to say is, as the best friend, you have always been shielded from the indecisive, wishy washy Lucas we all know and love. Which is probably why he called you when he knew you couldn't pick up the phone. He didn't want to hear you yell at him for changing his mind, or say something that would make him change his mind back."

He glanced out of the corner of his eye to the couch, then said casually. "My guess is he's avoiding running into the curly headed blonde he asked about over the phone."

"What did he ask? Is she curled up in a ball somewhere trying to figure out another way to declare her love only to be rejected?" Peyton waved her hand in the air. "Been there, done that, had a book written about it. I've got a new love in my life to give all my attention to and he deserves every bit of it, thank you very much."

"Yeah, he's probably trying to think of a come back from "I hate you and you ruined my life" Brooke said disgustedly.

"He had one," Peyton said simply. "It was, 'I'm going to leave all my family and responsibilities and disappear for 3 months, right after you publicly declare your love for the world to see'. And in my world, there is no comeback for that. Especially now that I have William in my life, I wouldn't be able to trust somebody with that kind of track record."

Nathan and Haley glanced at each other worriedly. Though they hadn't yet shared this information with anybody, Lucas had already declared to them his intentions toward Peyton now that his mind was clear. And only now did they realize that it just might be too late. He had gone too far to win Peyton back.

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Do you think its too late? Will Peyton give him another chance once he's back in town, after he's 'declaring his intentions' ? Or should she tell him to go back to where he came from? Share your opinions at 'hitthereplybutton' .com :)